I was at the pool relaxing, when the lifeguard comes over and hands me a note. It was an invite from a new acquaintance to go for pizza at the newest Italian hotspot in town.
Isn't that interesting? I've been wanting to go for pizza for several weeks and here, out of the blue, this person wants to go....hmmmm.
I thought about it for a while and decided it would be nice to visit the new place and besides it was Happy Hour and the prices would be discounted. Or so I thought. It was a lovely summer evening so we asked for a table outside and began to peruse the menu. Turns out happy hour prices were only at the bar, but we decided we preferred sitting outside.
Since this person has asked me to go "out for a drink" several times, I thought it was best to ask for separate checks. I'm not a big drinker and drinks can sure up the tab.
Tip: ask for separate checks so you don't have to squabble about who ordered what when going out with others. Unless, of course, you are independently wealthy, and money is no object.
As the evening progressed, all this person did was talk about herself, her kids, her new boyfriend, her ex, her business. It was interminable.
Is she ever going to take a breath?
I waited for her to ask me something about my life. She never did.
"I'll have another glass of Malbec," she said. It was getting harder and harder to follow her conversation.
Oh brother. No wonder she asked me to drive.
You get the idea of how the evening went. It ended with my dinner mate downing both of the complimentary shots of Limoncello and me heading for the parking lot, keys in hand and she staggering close behind.
Tip: drive your own car if you want to be sure to be home at a reasonable hour.
The good news is the evening provided fodder for this post. So, before starting up a friendship with a new person, here are three questions to ask yourself:
a) does this person talk about him or her/self a lot?
b) are the conversations one or two-sided? In other words, do you truly dialogue or are you
listening to a monologue?
c) does this person have a circle of healthy friends or are you this person's main entertainment?