Journey to Faith

Journey to Faith
Follow your own path

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Conquering Your Fears

You've heard the phrase "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear" haven't you? What this means is that we are all on a journey. I like to think of it as a spiritual journey because at the root this journey involves our souls. It is a journey to healing, wholeness, and harmony.

Did you know your soul is here for a reason? You are not here by happenstance, just to have a good time for a few years, then be buried and that's the end of it. You are here to learn and to heal, to grow and to evolve, to move yourself and others forward. Life is a school, and if we don't learn our soul lessons we are going to be repeating the grade, if you get my drift.

So today I want to talk about emotional patterns. Emotional patterns are when we keep reacting to situations in the same emotionally-charged manner. Emotional patterns keep us stuck. They keep us from seeing things as they really are and from dealing with life in a healthier way. Rather, when we OVER-REACT to a situation, we can be pretty sure we are encountering what author and psychotherapist, Tara Bennett-Goleman calls "samskaras". In her book, "Emotional Alchemy", Tara explains there are 10 major schemas such as the fear of abandonment, emotional deprivation, and the fear of trusting to name a few. Most of us have at least one or two of these destructive emotional patterns.

In order to conquer these schemas, we must first learn to recognize them. Here are 5 steps to becoming more aware of your emotional patterns:

1. Pay attention to over-reactions.
When we over-react we are not in control. Over-reaction is a signal that a schema is operating. It is odd how some of our fears from childhood can still rear their ugly heads when a situation in the
present in some way, shape, or form reminds us of something that happened long ago. It is like our minds have no concept of time. Our minds are like computer memory chips - they get imprinted with all sorts of errors and then have to be reprogrammed. When we have these over-reactions to current day situations, that is a sign that there is a hidden issue that needs to be addressed.

2. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings.
Explore the emotions you experienced. Did you feel anger? Anxiety? Sadness? The emotions give us a clue as to which schema is operating.

3. Ask yourself "What does this situation remind me of?
When we have an over-reaction in the present, we can often relate it back to an event in the past that was painful.

4. Ask "What need am I trying to get met?"
Often unmet needs go unnoticed for years. When we finally become aware of an unmet need, we can clearly looks for healthy ways to meet that need and thus, put an end to the power of our negative emotions and irrational fears.

5. Look for a pattern.
When you have an over-reaction, don't be too quick to gloss over it or put it behind you. These events happen for a reason. It is up to us to try to understand what is going on beneath the surface so we can shed light on the dark areas of our souls.

The word of God tells us to be "transformed daily by the renewing of our minds" (Romans 12:2). It is only by replacing error with truth and fear with faith that our souls can be truly healed and move forward in life towards our dreams and our destiny.

Think of a time you over-reacted. How did you feel? Why did you think you felt that way? If this post has helped you recognize some things, please click on the +1 button.

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Until next time, keep looking up!