Control is an illusion. Humans like to think we are in control but we're really not. We make all sorts of plans about our futures, our kids, our direction in life. I'd like to know how many people's lives have actually gone according to their plan. Mine didn't that's for sure.
I was raised in a dysfunctional, chaotic, alcoholic home. As you can imagine, it was not the typical "Leave it to Beaver" family. When I became and an adult, I needed structure which gave me a sense of stability and control that was lacking in my childhood. One of my favorite phrases was "So here's the plan."
Yet, time after time the plan would change and then I'd say "Well, now the plan is ...". After several, ok, more than several occurrences, I realized the futility of my planning efforts. It was a hard lesson to learn and one I think I am still learning.
The reality is life doesn't always go according to plan. I don't have any statistics on this, but I'd venture to say that more times than not, life doe not go according to plan.
We get side-tracked and blind-sided: a job loss, a relationship ends, a health crisis. We are thrown for a loop and we feel out of control and helpless. We have a choice on how to respond when life throws us a curve ball. We can stress-out and take a victim "Woe is me" mentality which will keep us from moving forward, or we can choose a more positive and proactive approach.
We can't control the circumstances of life, but there is one thing we can do and that is:
Realize what is and is not in our control.
We stress ourselves out by trying to control stuff that is uncontrollable like the weather, the stock market, which team wins the game, what other people are going to say or do - you get the idea. The only thing we have some modicum of control over is ourselves and even that is limited to the degree that we are aware.
If your life hasn't gone according to plan, don't fret. Relax, take a deep breath, and remember you're not alone. We all make mistakes and the key is to learn from them. Rather than beat yourself up, be kind and gentle to yourself. We are all doing the best we know how.
I hope this post has helped see your situation from a different perspective. If you enjoyed it click the +1 icon. If you'd like to leave a comment, please do so in the box provided below this post. If you'd like to follow my bi-weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided and I'll send you out a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".
Until next time, keep looking up!