We each have a set of personal rules that dictate how we interact with and judge others. Our "rules" also determine how we view ourselves and the world. We get peeved because our notion of how things "should" be is not always in line with how things really are. These personal rules are established over time according to our beliefs and values. Some rules are healthy and reasonable, while others are quite silly or no longer useful. Here's a personal example.
As a long time single, I have had a rule that said "If someone wants to see me over the weekend, he needs to call me by Wednesday" so I can plan. The problem with this rule is most men don't plan. They wing things. If the fancy strikes them, they pick up the phone. Several guys have called me at 4 or 5 pm on a Saturday to see if I was free that evening. I was insulted but I accepted!
When we expect others to behave in a certain way, we set ourselves up for disappointment. As a woman in the business world, I learned to expect email and phone call replies within 2 business days. The problem I encountered with many of my school teacher friends was they didn't abide by this protocol. It took me a while to figure out the problem, but when I did, I had much more compassion and was less frustrated with them.
Often, we live by these unspoken personal rules and expectations but we are unaware of how they are impacting our lives and the lives of others. Here are some areas to review from time to time:
- dating rules
- housecleaning rules
- relationship rules
- parenting rules
- friendship rules
Is my rule reasonable? How does my rule affect the other person? Is this rule helpful or unnecessary? What may have served us at one time may not be serving us today.
The key to remember is that love is freedom. When we love, we allow the other person to be free to be themselves. We do not require them to conform to our rules or expectations. No one likes to be controlled or manipulated. I know I don't. If we want more harmony in our lives, we would do well to reevaluate rules that cause disconnection or division.
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Until next time, stay tuned for more practical and spiritual wisdom so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!
Keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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