It's easy to lose our joy amidst all of these challenges. I struggle just like you but I try to have a smile around others despite the difficulties in my own life. No one wants to be around a sourpuss or someone who is constantly talking about their problems. Much of this comes from our personality type and the way we were raised.
Today I’m sharing on some techniques I use to maintain my joy. When things are most challenging, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really important and to keep my focus where it should be, which is on staying in peace and living in joy.
So how can we be more joyful during times of peak stress? Here are a few tips I've learned over the years that help me keep my joy level up and my stress level down.
1. Learn to use that two-letter word "NO". I only accept offers and invitations my heart is into. Say NO to everything else. I let go of relationships that drag me down. Say "no" to requests that are not your responsibility. The above mentioned collection agency wanted me to fax the payment to them for a bill that had already been paid and I told them "no". It was not my responsibility.
2. Ditch the guilt. When I say NO, I am being loving by being true to my values. I don't need to feel guilty for saying "no". We are not respecting ourselves if we say yes to something when our heart is not in it. If I feel stressed doing something, it's just not worth it. Pay attention to that small voice inside that says "Don't do this".
3. Look at the big picture.
I ask myself this question "What's really important here?" When the stress level rises, it is easy to get bent out of shape over things that are really trivial in the big picture. The logic side of our brain gets hijacked by the emotional side and we can't think straight. By stepping back, taking some deep breaths, and calming ourselves down, we can turn an upsetting situation around and regain our calm.
4. Learn to lighten up.
I know I need work in this area. Still. Take a breath. Exhale the tension. Relax your shoulders. Calm your emotions. Then try and make a funny. Tell a story or a joke that doesn't offend anyone. Laughter decreases tension. Make a joke, just be sure it is not at the other person's expense. My youngest and I practice this whenever one of us is venting about something stressful. Ending on an up note helps everyone feel better.
5. Overlook people's mistakes.
We are all human. People won't always be on time, say the right thing, give the perfect gift or respond the way you would like them to. The world is a messed up place. Communication is not optimum. Be aware of your frustration levels is key. Let go of the frustration quickly and don't dwell on what someone said or did that really won't matter tomorrow anyway. Frustration has an insidious way of building up and then we explode on an innocent person.
6. Focus on the positives.
Nobody's life is perfect, not mine, not your friend's, not the Hollywood or sports stars you admire.
We all have stuff. No church is perfect. No mate is perfect. We are not perfect. The 6th key to maintaining our joy is to focus on the good things in our lives: the fact that we have a home, a car, a job, good health, friends. The fact that we have a tremendous amount of freedom in this country, that we are financially better off than most of the world and the fact that God gave us another day to enjoy. Despite the upsetting phone call this morning, I am focusing on the fact that I have the freedom, the time, and the tools to write this blog post to help encourage others.
7. Give yourself more down-time.
The mind and the body need time to rejuvenate and process the events of the day. If you are one of those type-A personalities that is always checking their phone, consider unplugging. If you are a highly sensitive personality, like me, we need even more down-time. Respect your needs. Make time for quiet, reflection, exercise and rest. We must take care of our brains and our bodies if we want them to last and be functional for the long haul.
With practice, we can learn to keep more of our peace and our joy even during peak stress seasons. I hope these 7 tips are helpful. Write me and share some techniques you use to maintain your joy so I can add them to the list.
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Until next time, keep your focus on living in joy, and above all, keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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