Listening is a skill that is critical to develop if we want to understand and connect with others. It shows we have a real interest and value for the other person. Sadly, good listening is rapidly becoming a lost art. Many people are so intent on getting their point across, proving themselves right, or thinking what they are going to say next, they totally tune out the other person and miss the message that is being communicated. They also miss the opportunity to really connect with the other party. Here are some listening tips I have learned along the way:
1. Talk less, listen more.
It's been said that God gave us two ears and one mouth so we would listen twice as much as we speak. I think that is wise advice, yet listening is more of a skill than talking. We all know people who can talk your ear off while we sit there nodding our heads and wondering whether or not to interrupt. So why should we be better listeners?
2. Resist the urge to interrupt.
Listening takes discipline and self-control. The urge to respond, rebut, justify, or defend ourselves is great. It takes self-control to resist interrupting and jumping in to finish the other person's thought.
3. Respect the speaker.
Now I have struggled in this area as well, but I am getting better. In fact, I've been told I have the gift of listening by several people. Perhaps it's because I also know how frustrating it can be to try to be heard. Here's a personal story.
When I was married years ago, I would come home from teaching my aerobics class. I'd be so excited I wanted to tell hubby about my evening.
"I'm listening," he'd say, but the newspaper he was holding blocked my view.
"Would you please put down the newspaper?"
After a couple of times repeating my request for his attention, I'd walk away, head and spirit down.
4. Make eye contact.
If I have to ask someone to listen or if I'm not sure they're paying much attention, I just say "Never mind" and move on. They usually get the message. These days, I'm not going to waste my energy begging someone to listen.
For 10 principles on learning to be a better listener, check out this article .
When we learn to listen well, we will communicate better with others and better communication leads to more personal power, connection, and influence. I'd like to hear what tips you have on listening well, so please leave a comment here or on Facebook.
If you'd like a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email address in the box provided.
Until next time, stay tuned for step 8 in Igniting the Power Within and keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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