Where do bad habits start?
Bad habits often come from a poor self-image. Some bad habits include over-eating, getting high, drinking or shopping to excess, biting one's nails, picking one's skin, etc. The list goes on and on. The media overemphasizes being thin, having long luxurious hair and a porcelain complexion. It is important to realize these are all just mind games to make us spend our money on their products. Being super-model thin, having extra long lashes or a peaches and cream complexion is not going to make us a better person but our society has been conditioned to place a high value on the superficial. True beauty comes from within a person, not what's on the outside.
No matter how long we have had the habit, it is possible to break it. We have probably had them for quite a while so be patient with yourself. Here are some steps I am using to break one of my bad habits.
1. Make a decision to let it go.
All change starts with a decision and a change of mind. We must decide we are no longer going to tolerate a certain behavior and that we are going to make geting rid of it a top priority. It is hard to tackle a bad habit when we are busy focused on other things.
2. Bring more awareness to the habit.
Instead of pretending it is not a problem, really focus on when you engage in the habit. As we said before, practice mindfulness. Be more aware of how often you do the behavior. It helps to write down when we engage in the behavior AND how we are feeling at the time. This helps bring the unconscious into the conscious. Keeping a log or a journal is great for bringing habits into awareness.
3. Notice how you're feeling.
Emotions and stress have a lot to do with bad habits. We reach for the ice cream, the mac and cheese, the chocolate or the glass of wine when we're feeling stressed and need comforting. Feeling our feelings is vital to connecting the dots and making positive changes. When we ignore our feelings, we fall back in the same negative patterns. Respect your feelings and give them the attention they are asking for.
4. Substitute positive behaviors for the negative behavior.
For example, instead of having that piece of cake or cookie, pick up a piece of fruit or go for a walk. Sip a glass of lemon water or hot herbal tea instead of alcohol. Stop yourself before you engage in the behavior by counting to 6 slowly. Then ask yourself if you really want whatever it is. If you do, go ahead and indulge and don't feel guilty. You are making a conscious choice and that is part of breaking the habit loop.
5. Be patient with yourself.
Most bad habits took years to develop. Changing them isn't going to happen overnight and there will be setbacks. Forgive yourself, understand what caused the setback, and start again. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. That only enforces the behavior. Remember - tomorrow is a new day.
6. Develop a support system.
Yes, I know it is embarassing to share your flaws with another person but we need support. Find someone you can trust and confide in them. Use the buddy system. Have them tell you something they want to work on and you can be the support for them and vice versa. Don't try to go it alone.
7. Manage the stress.
Stress makes us more prone to give in to bad habits: having that extra glass of wine, going back for seconds, chugging the beer, and heading for the bathroom mirror. When we are stressed, we have less self-control. We tell ourselves things like "I worked hard all week. I deserve this." What we deserve is to take better care of ourselves and to treat ourselves and our bodies with respect.
8. Watch the self-talk.
Habits develop over time. We have internal dialogues that we might not even be aware of that perpetuate bad habits. For example, we might think "I ought to have perfectly thin thighs. But because I don't, I'm fat and ugly". Or "I can't put on a swimsuit because of these thighs." Men do the same thing. How many times have you seen a man wearing a cap on and when he takes it off, he is bald. Don't they know bald is sexy? These types of negative thinking patterns distort the truth about ourselves. We don't have to have perfectly thin or clear anything. We don't need a full head of hair to be loveable. We need to love ourselves exactly as we are while we are working on improving. Self-love and acceptance are crucial to making changes.
So there you have my 8 tips for breaking a bad habit. Give them a try and hang in there. You are not alone. We all have habits to break. When we make taking better care of ourselves a priority, we will see progress.
For Reflection
What habit would you like to get rid of? Will you make a decision to make changing a priority? What are you saying to yourself about your habit?
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This wraps up our series on transformation. I hope you enjoyed it. As the busy season and the flu season ramp up, the topic for October will be on staying well and healthy as we prepare for the holiday season. We'll talk about health, flu prevention, sleep, and maybe some Ayurvedic philosophies thrown in. Do tune in!
Keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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