In this series, we've talked about several factors involved in transformation: the power of decision, the power of faith and believing, and today I am sharing more on the importance of slowing down and being present.
1. Get Really Clear
First, we have to gain clarity. Ask some questions to your inner self such as:
1. Get Really Clear
First, we have to gain clarity. Ask some questions to your inner self such as:
- What do I REALLY want my life to look like?
- Where do I REALLY want to live?
- What TRULY makes me happy?
- What ONE SPECIFIC THING do I want to change?
By asking some hard questions, we gain clarity. A lot of folks I know just meander through life and then wonder why 5 - 10 years later they are still unhappy, broke, or in a thankless job.
Be specific in defining your goal. If you're anything like me, there's always something to work on, to improve, to learn, to unlearn. Growth and change make for a healthier, more joyful and forward-moving life. Brendon Burchard, world leading high performance coach, says this: "When you're done changing, you're done" and I agree.
2. Deal with Mindlessness
How often do your thoughts go back to some past event? Or become anxious about some possible future event that probably will never happen? Or let a situation control your thoughts? We are suddenly anxious and often, don't even realize why. It's because our thoughts took us there.
Personal Story
Today there was an unexpected knock on the door of my vacation condo and the maintenance man tells me they were coming to replace some vents. I was about to leave for the beach and he said "Just leave the door unlocked". I realized in the moment I didn't feel comfortable doing that but the landlady assured me it would be fine. I had a choice. I could either let the situation bother me and steal my peaceful drive and day at the beach. Or I could say a prayer, and give it to God. I chose the latter. I gathered up or hid my valuables and got in the car. When I arrived at the beach about 45 min. later, I texted the landlady to see where things stood. A little while later a text came that said they had completed the work. It is a practice to give things to God sooner rather than later, but it does get easier.
Other forms of mindlessness include time we waste in unconscious dreamland and behaviors. Watching stupid television shows, playing games on the computer or cell phone, picking our skin or nails, pulling our hair, or snacking when we are not hungry. These are all forms of mindlessness which take us out of the present moment.
Mindlessness is the failure to pay attention. It's like we are on auto-pilot. We eat, drink, or do something unhealthy without really being present. When was the last time you went unconscious?
So what should we pay attention to if we want to transform our lives? Here are some key things:
Pay attention to yourself.
Pay attention to your moods.
Pay attention to what emotions and feelings you are experiencing as you experience them.
Pay attention to your reactions.
Pay attention to your interactions with others.
Pay attention to how you are feeling when you eat.
Pay attention to your calmness level.
Pay attention to how tired you are.
Pay attention to yourself.
Pay attention to your moods.
Pay attention to what emotions and feelings you are experiencing as you experience them.
Pay attention to your reactions.
Pay attention to your interactions with others.
Pay attention to how you are feeling when you eat.
Pay attention to your calmness level.
Pay attention to how tired you are.
Pay attention to how loud you are talking.
Pay attention to how much you have to do in any given day.
Pay attention to your stress level.
Women, pay attention to your hormones.
Men, pay attention to your work demands.
One thing that is particularly important is to pay attention to our urges.
- the urge to eat.
- the urge to snack
- the urge to get a drink or a smoke
- the urge to shop
- the urge to speak unkindly
- the urge to be impatient, rude or snarky
Pay attention to how much you have to do in any given day.
Pay attention to your stress level.
Women, pay attention to your hormones.
Men, pay attention to your work demands.
One thing that is particularly important is to pay attention to our urges.
- the urge to eat.
- the urge to snack
- the urge to get a drink or a smoke
- the urge to shop
- the urge to speak unkindly
- the urge to be impatient, rude or snarky
- the urge to interrupt
- the urge to raise your voice
- the urge to pick or pull at our skin, our hair, our nails
3. Identify Urges
We have hundreds of urges in the course of a day. Often, we act on them because we are unaware that the urge is controlling our behavior, not conscious choice. For example, I developed the habit of getting a snack later in the evening. I tend to eat dinner early so by 8 or 9 pm. I am often ready for a snack. I don't like to go to bed feeling the slightest bit hungry. Well, I am also trying to lose the winter weight I picked up. Which will win? The urge to snack or the desire to lose the weight? It's a daily struggle and it all goes back to our commitment to our decision to change.
We have hundreds of urges in the course of a day. Often, we act on them because we are unaware that the urge is controlling our behavior, not conscious choice. For example, I developed the habit of getting a snack later in the evening. I tend to eat dinner early so by 8 or 9 pm. I am often ready for a snack. I don't like to go to bed feeling the slightest bit hungry. Well, I am also trying to lose the winter weight I picked up. Which will win? The urge to snack or the desire to lose the weight? It's a daily struggle and it all goes back to our commitment to our decision to change.
We cannot prevent urges from happening, but we can change our actions and how we respond to them and that takes being mindful and present. We can choose a response the is in line with our values. So in this example, I can choose to have a cup of hot tea instead of a piece of chocolate. Tea does not break my fast or spike my blood sugar. It's about noticing the urge and then making a conscious choice to do something different. As I write this, I have to tell you the bag of tortilla chips has been winning the battle for several weeks now for some reason. I have a clue as to why and have resolved to not buy any more bags of chips when I get home from vacation.
When we continue to act on our urges, we eventually develop a habit and we all know how hard it is to break a habit. The key is to be aware of our unhealthy habits and behaviors and nip them in the bud. The more we pay attention - stay present- the more in control we are of our thoughts and behaviors, the more we are able to make conscious choices and move forward in improving our lives.
For Reflection
I trust this post has been enlightening for you as learning about it has been for me. Is there a habit you would like to break? What urge do you have that needs to be replaced? What response could you replace it with?
If this post was helpful to you, consider joining our blog community. When you enter your email address in the box provided, you'll receive my weekly emails. You'll also receive a copy of my free eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".
Stay tuned for next week's post on the obstacles to transformation. You don't want to miss this one. So glad you're here to learn how to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!
Keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
When we continue to act on our urges, we eventually develop a habit and we all know how hard it is to break a habit. The key is to be aware of our unhealthy habits and behaviors and nip them in the bud. The more we pay attention - stay present- the more in control we are of our thoughts and behaviors, the more we are able to make conscious choices and move forward in improving our lives.
For Reflection
I trust this post has been enlightening for you as learning about it has been for me. Is there a habit you would like to break? What urge do you have that needs to be replaced? What response could you replace it with?
If this post was helpful to you, consider joining our blog community. When you enter your email address in the box provided, you'll receive my weekly emails. You'll also receive a copy of my free eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".
Stay tuned for next week's post on the obstacles to transformation. You don't want to miss this one. So glad you're here to learn how to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!
Keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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