This week I'm sharing 6 steps I believe are crucial to practice so we can move forward into our destiny - no matter what happens to us - with freedom, peace, and joy and still glean the lessons our souls needs to learn. The choice is ours.
As difficult as some experiences may be, it is important to keep in mind the big picture. God allows things to happen in our lives for a reason. He is not some masochistic presence that wants to see us suffer, but he does use the circumstances and people in our lives to mold and make us into his image and to heal our wounded souls, also known as our personalities.
1. Realize we are all imperfect beings.
Contrary to what some believe, no one is perfect. We all have imperfections, sensitivities, and wounds. Divorce, alcoholism, addiction, mental illness, and personality disorders all injure our souls. No matter how "perfect" someone may appear on the outside, realize they are human just like you.
2. Realize we are in process.
God is in the process of healing his children. Most of us have been through some tough stuff. It seems like it's always something but the truth is God wants us to be healthy and whole. He wants us to be full of peace and joy so we can pursue the plan and the purpose He has for us, but there are lessons to be learned along the way and we have to be willing to learn them.
3. Take time to learn the lessons.
It's easy to sweep things under the rug, run away, and to want to forget and move on with our lives, but not so fast! When we go through a painful event or disappointment, we must take enough time to process it.
Although life can be painful, we must reflect on what happened, seek to understand why it happened, and own up to our part. This takes effort and courage, but don't waste your pain by skipping this important step. Use it to learn and to grow. I've heard it said we can learn through joy or pain, but in my experience, the tough lessons are always learned through pain.
4. Skip the Blame
It is too easy to blame, shame, and point fingers at other people - none of which is healthy or productive. Don't just take the easy way out and move on, pretending all is well. Be assured the issues will surface again if we don't learn the lesson before us. The more painful the event, the more lessons there are to be learned and the more time we need to take to process it.
This may take days, weeks, or months, but don't let it take years. We cannot move forward successfully until we have learned our lesson. Buddhism has a saying "Clean your cup". This means we have to take care of the "dirty dishes" in our daily life if we want mental and emotional peace. Cleaning refers to purifying and cleansing not only our material possessions, but also our thinking. Jesus told the Pharisees and us it is more important to clean what is inside us than to clean the outside, using the analogy of a cup and a dish.
Note: Sometimes it is difficult to fully process painful events and this is when professional help such as counseling and support groups are invaluable.
5. Forgive yourself and others
When we understand we are all imperfect and in process, we can ask God to help us forgive. Forgiveness is only possible by the grace of God. We cannot do it in our own strength. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in. He is the healing balm, the comforter, and the supernatural force that helps us to forgive and to heal.
As difficult as some experiences may be, it is important to keep in mind the big picture. God allows things to happen in our lives for a reason. He is not some masochistic presence that wants to see us suffer, but he does use the circumstances and people in our lives to mold and make us into his image and to heal our wounded souls, also known as our personalities.
1. Realize we are all imperfect beings.
Contrary to what some believe, no one is perfect. We all have imperfections, sensitivities, and wounds. Divorce, alcoholism, addiction, mental illness, and personality disorders all injure our souls. No matter how "perfect" someone may appear on the outside, realize they are human just like you.
2. Realize we are in process.
God is in the process of healing his children. Most of us have been through some tough stuff. It seems like it's always something but the truth is God wants us to be healthy and whole. He wants us to be full of peace and joy so we can pursue the plan and the purpose He has for us, but there are lessons to be learned along the way and we have to be willing to learn them.
3. Take time to learn the lessons.
It's easy to sweep things under the rug, run away, and to want to forget and move on with our lives, but not so fast! When we go through a painful event or disappointment, we must take enough time to process it.
Although life can be painful, we must reflect on what happened, seek to understand why it happened, and own up to our part. This takes effort and courage, but don't waste your pain by skipping this important step. Use it to learn and to grow. I've heard it said we can learn through joy or pain, but in my experience, the tough lessons are always learned through pain.
4. Skip the Blame
It is too easy to blame, shame, and point fingers at other people - none of which is healthy or productive. Don't just take the easy way out and move on, pretending all is well. Be assured the issues will surface again if we don't learn the lesson before us. The more painful the event, the more lessons there are to be learned and the more time we need to take to process it.
This may take days, weeks, or months, but don't let it take years. We cannot move forward successfully until we have learned our lesson. Buddhism has a saying "Clean your cup". This means we have to take care of the "dirty dishes" in our daily life if we want mental and emotional peace. Cleaning refers to purifying and cleansing not only our material possessions, but also our thinking. Jesus told the Pharisees and us it is more important to clean what is inside us than to clean the outside, using the analogy of a cup and a dish.
Note: Sometimes it is difficult to fully process painful events and this is when professional help such as counseling and support groups are invaluable.
5. Forgive yourself and others
When we understand we are all imperfect and in process, we can ask God to help us forgive. Forgiveness is only possible by the grace of God. We cannot do it in our own strength. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in. He is the healing balm, the comforter, and the supernatural force that helps us to forgive and to heal.
Holding on to anger, resentment, and hostility will fester in our spirits and eventually will result in physical pain because the body stores negative emotions. We forgive because God forgives us and so we can be emotionally and mentally free. When we harbor unforgiveneess, bitterness, or anger we are slowly poisoning our souls and our bodies and keeping ourselves in bondage.
6. Give yourself the gift of healing
Emotional wounds, like physical wounds, take time, effort and energy to heal. Chances are we are already depleted from going through the tough situation. I recently heard that relationships are not to heal us but to help us realize what needs to be healed in our own souls. Healing is a gift we give to ourselves.
Some wounds are deep, like those from our childhood, so be gentle with yourself. Do not force yourself to reconcile too soon. Give yourself time to heal, to rest, and to reflect. Eat right, get enough sleep, and cut back on distractions and social interactions so you have time and energy to go inward.
Don't isolate yourself, but don't keep yourself so busy you avoid facing your pain either. Healing is a hard thing to do, and it is a choice. We can either remain the walking wounded or make the effort to face our pain and heal. This is what Jesus meant when he said "Take up your cross and follow me". He is instructing us to face whatever is shameful, painful, and humiliating in our lives and then walk in peace. When we bury the pain we only make it harder to heal later on. Remember, God promised to give us beauty for ashes!
I hope applying these steps will help you have more peace and more joy, despite the conflicts and drama of life. If you'd like to receive my weekly posts on healing, wholeness, and harmony, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive my free eguide, "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".
Stay tuned so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny and do share this with a friend.
Until next time, keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
6. Give yourself the gift of healing
Emotional wounds, like physical wounds, take time, effort and energy to heal. Chances are we are already depleted from going through the tough situation. I recently heard that relationships are not to heal us but to help us realize what needs to be healed in our own souls. Healing is a gift we give to ourselves.
Some wounds are deep, like those from our childhood, so be gentle with yourself. Do not force yourself to reconcile too soon. Give yourself time to heal, to rest, and to reflect. Eat right, get enough sleep, and cut back on distractions and social interactions so you have time and energy to go inward.
Don't isolate yourself, but don't keep yourself so busy you avoid facing your pain either. Healing is a hard thing to do, and it is a choice. We can either remain the walking wounded or make the effort to face our pain and heal. This is what Jesus meant when he said "Take up your cross and follow me". He is instructing us to face whatever is shameful, painful, and humiliating in our lives and then walk in peace. When we bury the pain we only make it harder to heal later on. Remember, God promised to give us beauty for ashes!
For Reflection
We all have areas that need healing. Can you recall an incident where you encountered drama or conflict? Did you take time to understand what happened and the root cause of your hurt feelings? Times of conflict can be opportunities for growth and healing if we process them right.
I hope applying these steps will help you have more peace and more joy, despite the conflicts and drama of life. If you'd like to receive my weekly posts on healing, wholeness, and harmony, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive my free eguide, "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".
Stay tuned so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny and do share this with a friend.
Until next time, keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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