How to Live in Peace in an Anxious World

Peace. It's an elusive thing. Staying at peace is a challenge, no matter what season of life we are in or what is going on in the world. Responsibilities, family, world events, the stock market ups and downs, Covid, health issues. The list goes on and on. There is always something to rattle us, but believe it or not - staying in peace is a choice we make. 

The good news is there are things we can do and skills we can learn to help us keep our peace - or at least get it back quicker - despite unexpected and tumultuous circumstances outside of our control. Today's post is about what we can do to have more peace and stay centered despite what may be going on in our lives and in the world around us.

The Pull of the World 
The pull of the world and all it's distractions and problems as well as dealing with daily life and all our emotions can throw us off-center and make us feel stressed & anxious but that is not the way we are supposed to live. Jesus himself said "In this world, you will have tribulations, but take heart, for I have overcome the world." (John 16:33). Not much has changed except the types of tribulations we face today. 

Many people turn outward for temporary relief: to activities and other people, substances such as alcohol or food, or distractions but the real key to inner peace is to turn inward. As a busy single working mom, I learned that developing my spiritual life was key to being able to manage my busy and stressful personal, business, and social lives. 

Our Spiritual Lives 

We maintain our homes, cars, computers, and bodies, but what about our spiritual lives? Do we make time to nurture them? Like exercise, it is crucial to  healthy and well-balanced living as well as inner peace.  When we are spiritually grounded, we are more able to handle the stressful situations that come at us often out of the blue. 

Brother Lawrence was a Carmelite monk who lived in the 17th century. His famous book, "The Practice of the Presence of God" is a collection of letters and conversations on a simple and pure way to connect with God. Brother Lawrence lived in continual communication with God, no matter what he was doing and so can we. Give it a read sometime. 

In the same way that conversation is critical to maintaining human relationships, speaking to God is critical to maintaining our relationship with the Divine. Here are some things I do to help me stay connected and I know they will help you too:

1. Start the day with gratitude and prayer. 
Before I even get out of bed, I take a few deep calming breaths to center myself. Then I give thanks for the new day "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it," (Psalm 118:24) and ask God to direct my thoughts and my steps. I give thanks to God in advance for taking care of anything that is on my mind or that I will face that day. I say "thank you" for his help, protection, and guidance. This is what Faith is all about. Believing BEFORE you see. 

After I say my morning prayers, I feel strengthened and protected enough to get out of bed and start my day, ready to face it with confidence, strength, and joy. It's a mental habit I've established over the years and it works well. How we start our day determines how our day will go and how we will handle the challenges that arise. 

The tendency for many of us is to jump out of bed, grab our phones, and think about all our problems, to-dos, text messages, etc.  No wonder we want to hit the snooze button and pull the covers over our heads. The tasks of the day can feel overwhelming. Connecting with God helps to ground ourselves spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, before we tackle any of them. Don't go out without the full armor of God. 

By changing our morning thought patterns and behaviors, we reprogram our minds to focus on God's presence, provision and power in our lives FIRST. This brings us peace which ultimately gives us the strength and the courage to meet the challenges of the day.

2. Remember that God is in control, not us. 
A lot of anxiety comes from dwelling on things that are out of our control - world events, pandemics, the elections, the weather, what other people say or do. It is important to recognize the difference between what we can and cannot control. 

I had a conversation with my now-deceased mom about this. She had been so frustrated the past few years and I couldn't understand why. Then the light bulb went on. 

"I know what's going on, " I said. 

"Yeah, what?" Mom asked. 

"You're losing control of stuff and so you are trying to control other stuff to compensate. You're frustrated because you are trying to control situations that are out of your control."

"You're so smart," she snapped.

Taking a deep breath, I said "It's true. You can't control when they deliver your meals. You can't control when the repair guy will come to fix the leak. You're frustrated over things that are out of your control."

All of the sudden the tone of her voice completely changed. 

"You're right," she said meekly. 

"Ma, it's natural but we all have to learn to let go of control at some point. And the truth of the matter is, we really don't have control over very much at all." 

It was a breakthrough for both of us. For more on letting go of control, check out my newest book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth" available at your favorite online bookseller. 

Remember that nothing happens without God's permission and that God is working all things out for our good in the long run. I have to remind myself - all. Even the bee sting in the pool last summer. Lesson, watch where you are swimming. 

 

So much stress can be reduced by changing our perspective and learning to trust more and stress less. We never know what we will have to face in any given day, but we do know that God knows and that he will give us the grace - say Grace - to manage it calmly and confidently. But we have to do our part and cooperate. 

3. Take a breath break. 
This is a discipline I am trying to incorporate on a daily basis. Just sit down and breathe. Slowing down our breathing slows down our minds and bodies. It helps us to recalibrate. A technique I learned from Dr. Andrew Weil and others is the 4-7-8 breathing technique. It helps the parasympathetic system - the rest and digest system - activate. Try it next time you feel anxious or irritated.  

When I feel that "rat wheel" pull or feel anxious about some matter or situation,  I immediately start to pray or if I can, sit down and meditate too. 

I've also incorporated tapping (EFT) to handle difficult emotions and process what I am feeling in the moment instead of ignoring it or letting it overtake me at the end of the day or week. We need to process difficult emotions in the moment to try and get them out of our bodies. When we sit down to breathe, we bring our minds and our emotions back to stillness. When we tap, we energetically release the stress our bodies store. 

Just yesterday, my sister, her son, and I were having a phone conversation about travel plans. Her voice kept going up and up and finally I said "Let's just all take a deep breath." It made everyone laugh and broke the tension. 

4. The Pull of Busyness and the Concept of Margin

The pull of busyness puts pressure on us which can pull us into a maelstrom of anxiety, frustration, and impatience. Having too much to do can exhaust us so we don't have the patience or the energy to be the kind, loving, patient people we desire to be. One of my son's favorite phrases is "Less is more" and it is so true. 

We plan our days to the max, leaving little room for MARGIN. You know, like the space on the sides of a sheet of notebook paper. Margin makes space for stuff that takes longer, for something else to take precedence, for a mistake to be made, for somebody to forget something. 

As a single mom, I had the tendency to go go go because I always had so much on me and so little help, but then one day I realized I had to pace myself at work so I would have energy left to deal with my boys at the end of a hard work day. I didn't go out with the folks to happy hour. I drove straight home to pick up the kids from day-care before 6 pm to avoid extra fees. I prioritized time with my family over time at work. I know someone needs to hear this. Who or what do you need to reprioritize?

5. Talk to God During the Day.
This is something Brother Lawrence did all thru his day. We can talk to God anytime, anyplace. Really. We don't have to be in church, or in any other religious place. Connecting with your breath brings you into the presence of God.  

The problem is we rarely think about our breath because our heads are so preoccupied with everything else. It is a habit we can develop, just like talking to our spouse or significant other. I have learned to take a pause break after each activity, instead of rushing right from one thing to another on auto-pilot like I used to do.

I go for a walk, have a cup of tea, or just pause to breath and ask for direction. I ask God what should I do next and then I listen. 

Personal Story

Today, I went to the library to pick up some books, and then sat there in the car debating what to for lunch. Thai food? Chinese? Greek? With no clear answer, I headed home waiting for direction. As I was driving, I remembered the empanadas I had made and then I knew what I wanted for lunch. Home it was. We don't have to nor is it good to run on auto-pilot. Stop and think. What do I really want to do next? What does my body need right now?

When I feel the prick of unease, I listen. When I feel that still small voice warn me, I listen. We need to keep the lines of communication open so we can receive the guidance God is sending us. It could be for direction, protection, or decision-making, but we have to tune in. We have to have our antennas up!

6. Do something kind for someone else. 

When we take our minds off ourselves and our problems, this allows God to step in and assist. When we are constantly thinking about what is next on our agenda or worrying about stuff, God takes a seat and says "Go ahead. Knock yourself out". God wants to help us. Sometimes we just have to stop and go help somebody else.

One time when I was feeling frustrated dealing with two laptops that both had major problems, a faulty new dryer, some unknown stomach pains and software issues with OneDrive and Microsoft Office. What did I do? I picked up the phone and called my elderly mother in Texas and helped her with some of her financial concerns. I felt better and so did she. When you are at wit's end, stop, and reach out to be a blessing to someone else. There is always someone in need of a call, a smile, a word of encouragement, a card or a gift. Just listen to the gentle inner prompting and you'll be surprised at what you'll hear. 

7. Call on Jesus 

Now we all like to think we can handle everything ourselves. But - some things require the supernatural hand of God. It's when you feel like throwing up your hands in resignation. When things seem insurmountable or unfair and you don't know what to do next, there is a simple act we can do and that is call on Jesus.

I've learned there is great power in simply uttering the precious name of Jesus. "Jesus, help me." is a powerful plea. Try it and see. Immediate peace will flood your being. Jesus is the next level of connection with God. Jesus is peace. Real peace. Peace you cannot get from the world or from yoga class. 

For reflection

Which of these tips can you implement this week? If you, too, would like a deeper sense of God's presence in your life, join me in these simple steps. Leave a comment below and share your thoughts. Let us know if you notice a difference in your day.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my free eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". You'll also receive my weekly posts to encourage and inspire you. 

Also, I am so excited to share that my newest book, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth"  is available on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, Apple Books & Smashwords. If you'd like to be more spiritually resilient, download your copy now and learn the skills to help you have more peace and calm. 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and find healing, wholeness, and harmony in the New Year. 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

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How to Surrender to God

We've all heard the expression "Let go and let God", right? I assumed everyone understood what this means until I posted this photo on Facebook and a friend came back with the question "How do you do that?"

Another word for letting go is to surrender. Detach. Give people space. It is a crucial skill to learn if we want to have peace in our lives and in our relationships. Let's jump in. 

1. First step is to realize that letting go is an ongoing process.
We learn to let go. It doesn't come naturally. We develop the ability to let go gradually as we experience loss, grief, and pain in our lives such as when a loved one dies or leaves home, a beloved pet dies, or when a relationship ends. Letting go is an ongoing process because life is constantly in a state of change.

2.  Another term related to letting go is "detachment" which means separating ourselves from another person. 
In recovery terms, detachment means emotionally disconnecting from the abusive, destructive or unhealthy behavior of another person for our own well-being. We think we are being caring, but really, we are being codependent. 

Detaching does not mean we stop loving or caring about the other person but we no longer allow their behaviors to steal our peace and joy. We don't get into it with them. We stop trying to change them or get them to change. It's not our monkey. 

Some extreme examples would be living with an alcoholic, an addict, a gambler, or an angry person. Sometimes, we have to detach from family and friends who, for whatever reason, are unable to participate fully in a healthy relationship. It takes two healthy people to make any relationship work.

A Note About Ghosting

Now keep in mind that letting go is different from ghosting, a popular tactic in today's culture. The person does not communicate their intention to distance directly. It is hurtful and immature to cut off contact with a loved one or any other relationship although it is often necessary for a time to give both parties a chance to grow. 

Ghosting someone is emotionally unhealthy and immature. It also shows that the person is unable to resolve conflict in a mature and healthy manner. Share what is going on openly and honestly. "I need to take a break from our relationship and give you your space. I am here if you need me," or something along those lines. 

When we detach, we find more time and energy to love and take care of ourselves and we allow the other person the time and space to deal with their own issues. It is truly the loving thing to do for both parties. 

3. Letting go has to do with responsibility. 

Sometimes we take on responsibility for problems we do not own. For example, a parent taking financial responsibility for an adult child. A mother not allowing her children to suffer the consequences of their actions. A spouse covering for a partner's addiction such as overspending, drinking, gambling, getting into fights, etc. Codependency causes people to take on the consequences of other people to the detriment of their own physical and financial well-being. 

When we let go, we allow the other person to take responsibility for themselves. We free ourselves from burdens that are not ours to carry. Some people are not emotionally mature enough to be in relationship with you. If there are constant tensions and disagreements, these are signs something is not working and you will exhaust yourself trying to "fix" the relationship. Each of us is responsible for getting healthy, and stopping the blame game. 

4. Letting go is the opposite of controlling. 

People who are overly responsible are often codependent and usually have control issues. Codependents think they are taking care of others, but in reality, it is a form of control based on fear. Most people have control issues to some degree, but fearful people are on the extreme end of the spectrum. If someone you know is controlling, one question to ask them is: "What are you afraid of here?" This will help bring to light the irrational fear they may be struggling with.

No one wants to be controlled.  We are responsible for managing our own lives, but not the lives of those around us. Often, our "caring" efforts are seen as controlling. This is when relationships deteriorate. When we let go of control, we allow the other person the freedom and the dignity to make their own choices and experience the results of those choices.

5. Letting go applies to every area of our lives.
Many people hold on to stuff for years and years for emotional reasons. I once dated a guy who had an entire office filled with old newspapers he'd never read. His garage was packed with stuff his kids used when they were little. These people have a hard time "letting go" of stuff. They've even made a TV show out of this behavior called "Hoarders". If you have a hard time parting with material things, your house is cluttered, and your garage is overflowing, you may want to examine your reasons for holding on to all of that. Does it make you feel loved? Secure? Are you holding on to the past? Think of cleaning house as an opportunity to practice letting go and open yourself up to NEW ADVENTURES!

6.  Surrender to God's will.
When we learn to let go in our lives, we are basically saying "Thy will be done" or "Que sera sera". We no longer insist on our agendas, our plans, and our timeframes. We are more flexible and resilient when the unexpected happens. We feel more peace and tranquility because we have let go of the need to control the outcome of events. We really can't control very much in life. We can't control the stock market, our relatives, our kids, or what happens in the world so we might as well accept life as it is and enjoy it the best we can. Here is the Serenity Prayer in its entirety:

The Serenity Prayer

 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right

if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. 

Reinhold Niebuhr

Personal Story

So yesterday, I was all dressed and ready to go hear an outdoor concert about 20 minutes from me. I checked my tires and they were on the low side so decided to try and fill them myself. Well. After 3 gas stations and 2 broken air machines, one of my tires had no air in it. The "Check tire pressure" warning came up.

Immediately, I said a prayer to make it back to another gas station and thankfully, their machine was working. Sort of. I was able to inflate the tire. This was in 97 degree heat, mind you. An hour had gone by. My white capris were filthy and I was a sweaty disgusted mess. I paused to think and pray. Then I did what I'm telling you to do. I let my plans go. Things happen. I drove home and headed straight for the pool. Immediately all the stress washed away and my joy returned. Folks, when things seem to work against you for whatever reason, choose whatever will bring you peace in the moment. 

7. Evaluate my priorities.
There are only 24 hours in every day and we only have so many days to live. How will I choose to live them and with whom? I reexamine my priorities several times a year. I make a conscious choice on where, how, and with whom I want to spend my time.

I have learned that in order to add something or someone new to my life, I must let go of something or someone else or I will be out of balance just like my clothes closet. When we let go of an unhealthy relationship, we are open to receive a healthier one in its place. First, we will get a test to see if we will go back to our old patterns of accepting unhealthy behavior. After we pass that test, God will bring us healthier friends. 

When we let go of anxiety and worry, we make room for peace and joy. When we let go of activity, we make room for relaxation and self-care. It's all a matter of evaluating what is important to us in the here and now.

8. Choose Peace over Control 
If we want to have more peace and joy and less stress in our lives, learning to let go is one of life's most important lessons.  I have a post- it note on which is written a quote from Oprah Winfrey that says: "All stress comes from resisting what is". I think she is right on. 

Some of us, including me as an oldest child in a dysfunctional family, have become too responsible for others. And yes, it is still a problem. When the adults in a family don't assume their rightful responsibilities, then the children are left to do so, sadly. A sign we are too controlling is when we start to experience push-back from other people. This is the time to step back and give the relationship space and distance. 

Personal Story - Dealing with elderly relatives 

So my 95 year old mother was in a sad state. She couldn't walk. She fractured her back earlier in the year, and we had to move her to assisted living. I had to take over handling all of her stuff - her phone, her drs appts, her physical therapist, her medications, her finances, her bills. You may be dealing with a similar situation. It's tough on everyone. 

Well, I thought I was helping her by taking on these responsibilities, but what I came to realize is she became angry or resentful at me for doing so. Sadly. Who else was going to care for her? 

Then it dawned on me. She is angry at herself and projecting it onto me. So I have decided to do what I am telling you to do - take a step back. Let her call me. Stop being so responsible for all her stuff. She still has a decent mind and can and should speak up for herself. It was a tough lesson to learn but when people are ungrateful for your help, maybe they don't really want it. Let me say that again.

To Learn More on Letting Go

If you want more information on letting go, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth", In it, I explain in detail the how, when, and what of letting go and the various areas of our lives that we get to practice this in. It is life changing for sure. 

For Reflection
So what have you let go of that made a difference in your life? What do you need to let go of today that could bring you more peace? Leave a comment or post in your journal. 

If you enjoyed this post, join our blog community. Enter your email address in the box provided & you'll receive my weekly posts and also a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to get you started on your exciting spiritual journey. I will be taking the month of August off from blogging to get ready for my trip to Spain so enjoy your summer and meet me back here in September. 

Stay tuned for more on having more peace in our relationships and our lives. 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

4 Practical Ways to Have More Joy

There's a lot going on in our lives and in the world that can steal our peace and our joy, like family, work, health issues, the economy, you name it. There is, however, one thing we can do to stay positive and that is what we will talk about in this week's post. But first let's take a look at the brain. 

The Brain's Negativity Bias 

Did you know our brains have a bias for negativity? This means we naturally pay more attention to negative thoughts, emotions, and events. We bring up the negative past. We worry about "what could happen" in the future. We dredge up unhappy past events and relive them in the present moment stealing our joy and our peace yet again. This bias explains why news coverage is predominantly negative. The media uses this psychological tendency to grasp and focus our attention. It's like a sabotage of our minds and we need to be on guard against it. 

What to Do

Now I am not saying ignore the events of the world or don't watch the news, although some people choose to do just that. What I am saying is that we must realize the impact of the world and the media on our thoughts, emotions and actions. This all means we have to make a conscious effort to keep a positive mental attitude. It is another area where mindfulness can serve us. For a better understanding of how the brain works, some examples of negative bias, and some interesting TEDTalks, check out this link. 

The good news is there are some things we can do to fight against this overwhelming negativity to keep our peace and our joy.

                                    

                                    

                                

Here are 4 tips to help you develop an attitude of gratitude:

1. Appreciate the Every Day Stuff 

Often we take for granted so many things like being able to go out to dinner with friends or family, our water supply, full grocery aisles, our sight, our health, our bodies, even our jobs. My hope is that the pandemic helped us all become more grateful for the every day stuff we usually take for granted. 

I did a guided gratitude meditation this morning and it was so uplifting. The leader reminded us to be grateful for our food and the people who grow it, for our grocery stores, for all the people who work to support us in life. 

Personally

I am thankful that the sun was shining through my windows when I woke up this morning. I am thankful my body is feeling good enough to get back to Pilates classes. I am thankful I am able to write these blog posts so I can be of service to others.

I am thankful for the ability to cook and make nice meals. (Shameless plug for my Mediterranean cookbook :) Today I am making chimichurri chicken and guacamole. I am thankful I could afford to replace my 20+ year old HVAC system as they are coming tomorrow for the spring inspection. I am thankful my son moved back to Maryland after 12 years in Texas. I am thankful I can still move, walk, & dance at my age. Are there tough things in life? For sure. As someone said to me yesterday "It's always something." And it is in those times that we really have to be mindful of what we focus on. 

2. Start a Gratitude Tradition 

There are many ways to become more conscious of our blessings. One is gratitude traditions. 

A tradition I started at my house many years ago was to put out a small basket with a pad of paper and a pen next to it on the first of November. The basket is known as the "Blessing Basket". Each day in the month of November, each member of the household and whoever comes into my home that day is asked to write down one thing for which they are grateful for and put it in the basket. I like to see how people have to stop and think before they find something to write down. 

It can be anything, but the idea is to become more aware of the many blessings we each have on a daily basis. Then on Thanksgiving Day, we read all the slips of paper. They are anonymous of course, but it makes us realize how truly we are blessed despite the challenges we are all going through. 

In our house, there are always one or two blessings that make everyone laugh. One year, my youngest son wrote "I am thankful for pressure or I wouldn't get anything done." Now there's a different perspective. 

                        
                   

3. Appreciate Others
Everyone wants to be appreciated and valued. Too often we take people for granted - our parents, our spouse, our friends, the people who serve us. Take time to tell someone how much you appreciate them today. Make someone feel valued. Thank people for the little things. When we are thankful, we show God we appreciate the blessings and people we have been given and we open the door for more abundance to flow to us. 

A simple complement may turn someone's day around. We never know what people are going through. I make a habit of complementing men on their ties or shirt. I notice when someone has been working out or got a new haircut. I complement women on their hair, their outfit, their nails. I thank the customer service rep no matter if they have been helpful or not. I try to give a bigger tip than is required. When I see a smile on someone's face, I know I have been successful in lifting them up and that increases not only their joy level, but mine as well.  

My latest thing is to not leave someone upset or down. This is not an easy thing to do especially when they or a situation has caused me a lot of aggravation but what good is it to leave someone on a bad note? If the conversation goes south or if I have to bring up a sensitive subject, I try to add an up note by thanking them, making a joke, or somehow turning to a more positive topic. I get off the phone feeling good about myself as a human being who has not caused another human being to suffer. 

4. Recognize Your Blessings 
It's easy to take people and things for granted. We get used to having them around, having food in the grocery store aisles, being free to travel, but when a crisis such as the pandemic or some other crisis hits, it gets our attention. As in the case of the Covid pandemic, we no longer had the ability or the freedom to get together with family, travel, or find full grocery aisles.  Let's not forget the lessons that crisis taught us. 

These days we are fighting inflation and speaking of groceries, everything has gone up, including gas, eggs, rent, and the price of a haircut. Life has its challenges, that is for sure and it is up to us to decide what we will focus on - the positives or the negatives. If we want to remain joyful, we will choose the former. 

It is a choice we have every moment of every day. Abraham Lincoln once said "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

Most of all, I am thankful for the love, grace, and constant mercy of God. He has brought me through so much and so I am devoting the rest of my life to sharing that love, grace, and mercy with you through this blog and writing books. 

For Reflection

What everyday things are you thankful for? By taking note of them on a daily basis, we train our brains and our neural pathways slowly but surely to dwell more on our blessings instead of our woes. A positive focus also helps alleviate anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Remember - what you focus on gets magnified. 

If you want to feel more joy on a daily basis, here are some tips to help you get started. Every night before going to bed, name 3 things you are grateful for. I say them out loud or write them in my journal. Gratitude increases our energy and our joy so start and end each day by giving thanks for something or someone in your life. 

When we learn to develop an "attitude of gratitude", our outlook on life changes and we are better able to handle the difficult circumstances of life when they arise. This is why the Apostle Paul encourages us "In all things, give thanks" (1 Thess 5:18). There is always a silver lining to life's challenges. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided to the right. You will also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  

Also, check out my newest ebook, the 3rd in the series "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth". In it I share ten steps that will help you grow spiritually, become more mindful, and have more peace and joy. Do leave a review when you're done and pass it on to a friend. Here is a link to the collection. Do leave an honest review wherever you buy my books. 

Until next time, remember: you are blessed to be a blessing.

As always,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

This material is copyrighted. 

6 Easy Ways to Get Your Joy Back - Part 2

How are you feeling this morning, friend? Are you feeling joyful? Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and it is different from feeling happy. Happiness is based on external circumstances and is fleeting. Joy is an inside job that comes from God. Many people confuse the two. This week I'm sharing 3 more steps to getting our joy back. 

Check Your Joy Meter
How high is your joy meter today? High, low, or medium? Things can happen in a minute that can steal our joy, which is where prayer, mindfulness, and faith come in. It's a question of being aware of when something irritates us and then making a mindful decision whether we are going to let it get to us. 

Joy flows in and through us on a daily basis but we must make a conscious decision to keep our joy and not get aggravated at every little thing: the elderly mom, the rebellious kids, the traffic, the boss, the list that stresses us is endless. 

Today I am sharing the next 3 tips as promised. If you missed the first 3 tips for getting your joy back, here is the post again. 

                                               

Tip #4: Pay attention to your thoughts. 
Here's a quick mindfulness practice I do every morning to get in the right frame of mind. As soon as my eyes open, I declare this verse - out loud:  "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24). Notice the emphasis on the words "I will". This indicates I am making a conscious DECISION to be joyful. We must be deliberate about our frame of mind, if we want to stay joyful on a daily basis and into our later years. 

Do you find yourself dwelling on the same issue or person for days or nights on end? Picture a car stuck in a ditch with the wheels whirling and whirling. This is what our minds are doing when we ruminate or over-think and it is a joy-stealer. When we spin our mental wheels trying to figure something out or solve a problem that has no solution, this burns us out mentally and energetically. It can also cause headaches and migraines. I know this from first-hand experience. 

How to Avoid Overthinking
There are two ways to get out of the overthinking cycle. 

1) decide on an action to take in the moment. Taking some type of action takes the pressure off and makes us feel less out of control of the situation. 

2) realize we are overthinking something and decide to put the issue on the back burner till we get clarity. This takes the pressure off and I'm all about taking the pressure off. In fact, I have a sticky note on my kitchen cabinet that reads "Take the pressure off." 

I know this is tough, but we are not in control of the when the answers will come.  We need to learn to trust in God to reveal them in HIS timing, not ours. It's another opportunity to practice letting go.

Exercise Your Faith

Another example I had to deal with last year was what to do about my 94 yr old mother who fractured her back. Without going into all the details, there were a lot of factors to consider, as anyone who has elderly parents knows. I assured my sister and my mother, who were both freaking out, that we would figure it out slowly. I kept saying "Let's stay in today" to calm them down.

Actually, I am pretty proud of myself that I did stay so composed and in the moment and did not freak out. I trusted that God would show us the way and he did. She went to rehab which she hated and then I found her an assisted living facility that served her chocolate cake the first day she got there. Her comment was "I should have done this years ago." It is in these types of critical, stressful situations that Faith and a spiritual practice pays off, friends. A spiritual practice helps us to not freak out when uncertainty hits and answers are complicated because we have a God who cares. 

Practice Mindfulness Daily
The natural state of our mind is to be peaceful but there are so many things to worry/stress/think about in every day life. Scripture exhorts us to "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). This means to pay attention to what we're thinking about. Our thoughts can take us down the proverbial rabbit hole if we don't learn how to be mindful and take control of them.   

The good news is practicing mindfulness helps us to be more aware of our thoughts and our emotions. We need to catch ourselves ruminating or dwelling on negative topics and bring ourselves back to the present moment, the here and now, because that is where JOY is found. Joy is not found in yesterday or tomorrow, folks. 

By practicing spiritual techniques (Check out my new ebook, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth), slowly, the grooves in our brains will be rewired and we will have better thinking patterns over time.

No matter what thoughts pop into my head, I remind myself of the truths I believe in. "Lord, I know you see this situation. It might not look good to me right now, but your word says you work all things out for my good. I will take responsibility for my thoughts, decisions, and actions. I will stay in peace and trust you to guide me. I will rejoice and be glad today. I will take care of myself and set firm boundaries. Thank you, Lord." This helps strengthen my spiritual muscle and keeps my peace and joy. 

Tip #5: Have some fun. 
As a single parent of two growing boys for many years combined with a full-time career plus grad school, it was hard to find time to have fun. Even now as an older single lady with few friends, it is hard to find time to have fun. Now I will admit having fun has changed over the years. I used to love to go ballroom dancing, or any kind of dancing for that matter. Now fun is enjoying the pool, working on my blog or my lettering, making a good dinner. Fun is something you choose to do that is pleasurable that keeps you in the present moment and joy is found in the present moment. Having fun makes room for joy to percolate up. 

Keep Play in the Picture 
No matter how busy we might be, however, play is vital to our well-being. (See #5 in my recent book "Take Back Your Life". )  Some of us, including me, are so responsible, we have to schedule downtime and play into our to-do lists. As I write this I am thinking when was the last time I played...does watching a soccer game fall into the play category? I think so. 

Others play too much and neglect their responsibilities as well as their health. We need to find balance in our daily lives if we want to keep our joy. Having fun makes room for joy to pop back up because it lets the pressure out of the pot. 

What do you like to do? What takes your mind off your problems and brings you into the present moment? Choose a healthy activity that will restore and energize you, instead of depleting you or taking you out of the present moment like watching the boob tube or playing video games. Something out of doors is always good this time of year.  Walking is a great way to let go of stress and get a bit of exercise and fresh air. Team up with a friend or loved one if you can. Or maybe go for a bike ride, or do some gardening. Even a half hour will do you a world of good and help you clear your mind and reconnect with your joy.  

Tip #6: Let go of control. 
We all like to be in control. My issue stems from being raised in a chaotic home, where everything was out of control, but most of us want to be "in control" to some degree. The truth is there are only a handful of things that are truly under our control. Much of life - aka other people - are not and the sooner we come to understand this, the more peace and less stress we will have.  

Do what you can to attend to any given situation (if you need to) and then give it to God. Notice we have a part in fixing our problems. We can't just throw up our hands and say "Well, God will take care of it." When we do what we can, God will do what we can't. This is where faith, patience and obedience come in. 

If you want more peace in your daily life, learn how and when to let go. I talk about all the ins and outs of letting go of control in my new book, "Ignite the Power Within." Letting go is a spiritual practice and if you don't know what it is, how it applies to your life, or how to do it, I encourage you to order my new book and learn more today.

So there you have my 6 tips to getting your joy back.  
Stuff will ALWAYS keep coming at us. As author, Sonia Choquette says in her book "Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose", "We are souls on a journey to heal, grow and evolve and these trials are our tests to pass".  It is up to us to decide how each situation will affect us and how we will respond to it. The quicker we can let go of unhappy, negative thoughts, and focus on gratitude, peace, and joy, the more we can relish each day.

Reflection:
How about you? Is there something or someone stealing your joy right now? Are you feeling overwhelmed with all your responsibilities? What changes do you need to make to have more peace and joy? Don't let the challenges of life steal either one. Make a decision to let go of control and enjoy each day for the gift it is. That's why they call it "the present".

If this article was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

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Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Incorporate Prayer in Your Daily Life

When life throws you an unexpected curve ball who is the first person you turn to? Your spouse? Your best friend? Your mother? What about those times when you don't know who to turn to? Who will understand? Who will comfort you? 

This is when I suggest the first person you talk to is Jesus. As in any human relationship, the first step to getting to know someone is to talk to them, and it is the same with getting to know God. Prayer is one way to communicate with God. 

Many people minimize the power of prayer, sadly. They talk to everybody else, and talk to God last, if at all. This is backwards. Man's wisdom will never equal the wisdom of God. When you need guidance, direction, healing - turn to God first, then turn to your friends. 

Super in Your Natural
There is supernatural power in prayer, especially if you combine it with scripture. Woah! That is a double whammy of power. James 5:16 says this about prayer: "The fervent prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." In other words, we need to put energy into our prayers. Prayer moves the hand of God. 

                                     

Miracles Still Happen 
I have seen many miracles in my life thanks to the power of prayer and God's great grace. I have been redeemed from anxieties, afflictions, addictions, health issues, financial bondage and much more. I encourage you to read my inspiring true story, "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness, and harmony."  In it, I share a different perspective on how to view the inevitable trials and tribulations of life that are sure to come our way some time our another.

I also share the faith lessons I learned that will help you strengthen your spiritual muscle as well. Happy to say that it is now available in audio format here. Please leave a review wherever you found the book. 

Benefits of Prayer 
Prayer helps us to relax and find peace. It strengthens us knowing there is a divine power that cares about us and we are not left to our own devices. Some situations we cannot handle on our own. This is when we need to ask for God's help. Prayer also helps us to connect and feel closer to God. 

Often we think God is some distant being way out yonder, but really he is right beside us, all the time and his name is Jesus. Prayer activates the hand of God. Just like a loving father when his children cry out, God hears the cries of his children and he commands his angels to get to work. One of my favorite verses is this promise: "God hears the cries of his people and he answers them. He rescues them from ALL their troubles." (Ps. 34:17). Notice the inclusion of the word "all". That doesn't leave anything out. God is here for you and me whatever we are going through. 

Prayer Shifts Our Focus
In times of trouble, we tend to dwell on the situation. We ruminate. We overthink. We let the problem or situation consume us and steal our peace. Prayer helps us with all of that by shifting our focus from the problem to the All-Mighty God who sees and controls everything.

This is why is it so important to know who God is. One of God's attributes is omnipotent. You know what that means? He has ALL power. Nothing can stop him from working on our behalf. Nothing. 

Prayer shifts the burden from our shoulders to God's shoulders which are much more capable of holding them. You know that song "He's got the whole world in his hands." 

For Reflection 
What situation would you like to give to God today? Is it a health concern? A relationship situation? A finances thing? Whatever it is, I encourage you to take it to Jesus today. Right now even. I'll help you get started:

"Lord, Jesus. I lift up to you (insert your situation or person_______.) Please heal, help, comfort, guide me/them in this time of need. Lord, you hear my prayer and I trust you to answer in your perfect timing. Jesus, I ask for your peace and presence as I go thru this storm. I thank you in advance for everything you are going to do and I pray this all in the mighty name of Jesus." 

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. This world needs a spiritual practice more each passing day. 

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Until next time, thanks for reading, and

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 
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How to Draw Nearer to God this Lenten Season

Most of us are really busy. I'm retired and I'm still really busy. We have our daily schedules, our agendas, our plans and our projects. We like our routines, our meals and our lifestyles. These give us a kind of comfort and stability in this topsy turvy world we live in. How often have you heard yourself say this:
"I don't have enough time to ......" You fill in the blank.

The Busyness of Life 
The stuff of life can keep us so busy and so stressed out, we rarely have time to do what Stephen Covey, author of numerous best selling books including "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", calls "Quadrant 2 Activities".

Quadrant 2 activities are those activities which are important but not urgent or pressing. Some of them include planning, prevention and improvement. It includes spiritual practices such as prayer, journaling, fasting, and meditation. 

These habits are all crucial to our well-being, but none of them are critical or urgent. Therein lies the crux of the problem. We are addicted to the urgent and we neglect the important, as Stephen Covey says. 

Wake up calls 
Sadly, it is not until life gets uncomfortable and some crisis happens such as a sudden illness or a job loss, a breakup, or an epidemic, that stops us dead in our tracks. It is then - maybe -  that we say "Whoa, wait a minute. Maybe I need to slow down and rethink my priorities". 

When things get uncomfortable, scary, stressful, or painful, it is time to surrender, not resist. God uses everything in our lives to make us more like him and lead us into our destinies, which is - by the way - to be more like his Son, Jesus.

These times are wake-up calls of sorts. God is trying to get our attention. He may be leading us away from certain activities, jobs, situations, places, or people. He may be trying to get us to change our attitudes and behaviors. He may even want to send us help. 

God is always trying to get our attention onto what really matters. We may resist and rationalize. When God is calling us to let something or someone go, it is important to stay with the discomfort, even when it interrupts our busy lives and messes with our agendas. God has the plan. What we need to do is let go and surrender to it.

Go With the Flow

You've heard the phrase, I'm sure. But that is easier said than done when something difficult happens. We tend to fight it, escape it or look for ways to avoid dealing with it. Yet, none of these is helpful. When difficult situations present themselves, the best thing we can do is to surrender and accept instead of denying or fighting against it. Try to deal with whatever it is in a calm and focused manner. Stressing out and getting upset never helps anybody. This is when we need the help of the Holy Spirit to come to our aid. 

Personal Story 

So my elderly mom, who lived out of state, had a few falls back in 2024. I tried to tell her she needed daily care, but she would have none of it. Then, it happened.

In February, she fell and fractured her back - at 94 yrs of age. She called me as the EMS team was taking her to the ER. Now, I could have freaked out, but praise God. I didn't. I said a quick prayer, stayed calm and collected and talked to her all the way to the hospital, thru the x-ray process, and back to her room, trying my best to keep myself and her calm. At least I was connected to her, even if I wasn't there physically. It is in times like these that a spiritual practice comes to our aid. 

When We Don't Understand
Life is full of mysteries. Why is my mom/son/husband/boyfriend acting like this? Why did I lose my job? Why did this happen to me? We don't always understand why things happen but we can trust that whatever it is is ultimately for our good and God's glory. When the questions whirl thru my mind like the swirling winds of March, my natural tendency is to try to figure it all out but the truth is....

We don't have to figure it out. That's our ego egging us on, stressing us out. We need not fret or worry. I believe trying to figure it all out is a way of maintaining control, and we all know how that works out. All we have to do is trust. Trust that God sees us. Trust that God has the answer even when we are at wits end and have tried everything. 

When we don't know what to do next, it is time to wait on God. Let go and let God as they say in recovery groups. When we don't know what to do next, like Samuel said when he heard the voice of God, we need to let God know he has our attention, "Speak, Lord, your servant is listening", then listen and wait. The answer is always the same.

Come a little closer. Let that go. Trust me. 

Scripture says this: "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." (James 4:8). I often think that God allows these situations to draw us closer to him. I know I have a tendency to drift. How about you?

For Reflection 
What is it that God is working on and in you today? What is he calling you to let go of or to embrace? Are you willing to listen? To surrender? To obey? Jesus is calling you to come a little closer this season. Perhaps, like me, you sometimes get too caught up in the busyness of doing that you fail to hear the still soft voice of Jesus that beckons us to sit at his feet, just like Mary of Bethany.  

Close your eyes and listen to this song by Dierks Bentley. Jesus is saying the same thing to us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVGw7FbohY4&feature=kp

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts to encourage, inspire and motivate you.  I'll also send you a copy of my free e-book entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" for yourself and to share with a friend.

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Stay tuned for more on the purpose of Lent and until next time, come a little closer!

Ariel Paz