On The Practice of Radical Acceptance

What is it that just "gets your goat"? A neighbor, relative, or coworker? Traffic? Screaming kids? These all have one thing in common; they are all out of our control and fighting them steals our peace and our joy. 

Wouldn't we all be a whole lot happier and more at peace if we learned the practice of radical acceptance as described by author, psychologist and meditation teacher, Tara Brach? To accept people and circumstances as they are. To live and let live. I've been getting another lesson in this recently. We have to make a conscious decision to accept things and people as they are, not as we would have them to be. 

Personal Story

I love summer and the opportunity to go to the "private" pool here at my complex. For me, it's downtime. Time to rest, soak up the sun and read. What I don't love are lots of loud screaming grand kids, people who talk on the speaker phone like they are at home, and loud grandparents. 

Many people are simply unaware or don't care how loud they are, but I consider it a lack of respect for others. I know there is no controlling kids but there are rules that are not being obeyed and this "gets my goat". After my attempts to bring attention to these situations failed miserably, I have come to the point of "radical acceptance." Some things you just have to accept, regardless of what you may want or think. It's called letting go of control. 

Dealing with Frustrations 
Life is full of things that are out of our control such as the stock market, the weather, strange unexpected occurrences, aches and pains, and relatives, to name a few. Many of us struggle with a chronic condition such as arthritis, migraine, anxiety, or depression. We have relatives that don't want to get along with us and the weather seems to have gone haywire along with the rest of the world. As long as we fight against what is, we will not have peace in our relationships or peace within. 

A Phrase to Remember 
Years ago, I had a dear friend whose favorite expressions was "It is what it is". I thought that was so profound. She had learned, or was trying to learn was to surrender and to accept things that were out of her control. Learning to surrender is a process because it can be applied to so many aspects of our lives at different times in our lives. Life continually gives us "opportunities" to practice. 

If we want more peace on a daily basis, we must learn radical acceptance - of our conditions and of the people in our lives. But let me take this one step further - deeper. More importantly we need to learn to practice radical acceptance of ourselves. 

Accepting Ourselves
We must also learn to embrace every aspect of ourselves: flaws, imperfections, personality traits, flabby thighs, balding head, and all. Sure this blog is all about growth and spiritual development, but let's remember to love ourselves along our journey to healing and wholeness. I think sometimes I focus more on the things I want to fix and change about myself, rather than treating myself with loving kindness. What's worse, I probably do that with others as well. Smack me, would you? 

Some traditions say we are perfect just as we are and I've always disagreed with that concept but maybe - just maybe - what they really mean is "accept ourselves the way we are" and in that way we are perfect. Make sense? This is a HUGE change of perspective for me. How about you?

For Reflection

What is stealing your peace and your joy? What do you constantly complain about? What frustrates you? This week let's practice radical acceptance. Let's stop complaining about what is and start replacing these thoughts with thoughts of gratitude and loving-kindness. There is always another way to look at things. 

If this post resonated with you, do join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". Also check out my collection I've curated on Pinterest on a variety of related topics such as health and wellness, mindfulness and meditation, great recipes, and much more. Click here to explore. 

Until next time, stay tuned for more on surrender and radical acceptance and remember, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Part 3: How to Hear From the Holy Spirit

Do you often ignore that still small voice and then later regret it? Are you sensitive to the vibes you get when you meet someone new or enter a restaurant? Do you trust your intuition? Many of us have been told "Oh, you're too sensitive" or "Oh, get a tougher skin". Can you relate? Our feelings and our sensitivity to that still small voice are gifts we have been given to help us navigate through life, avoid danger, and make good choices. Let's face it we live in a rough and tough world and people who are "sensitive" are often criticized. Well, this week I am writing to encourage all of us to tune out those folks who criticize and get back in touch with the Holy Spirit and her gentle guiding. So, how do we live by the Spirit in this loud and fast-paced world?

                                                      

Find Time to Get Quiet
We live in a noisy world. From the constant rings, dings, and beeps of our phones to the loud blasts of construction everywhere to the steady barrage of news and information coming at us. All this noise separates us from ourselves and from the Holy Spirit who is often trying to communicate to us. When we make time to get quiet, we allow our spirit to connect with the Holy Spirit. God is always speaking to us, the question is "Are we listening?" 

Distractions abound and it is up to us to make the decision to find stillness so we can hear that still small voice. Being still goes against our 'get it done now" culture,  but the Bible clearly exhorts us to  "Be still and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10). Did Jesus ever hurry? I don't think so. He made time daily to be still before God and if he made it a priority, so should we, don't you think?

Listen to Your Body 

Our bodies are also vehicles through which the Holy Spirit can communicate to us. I notice that my stomach churns when I am having a difficult conversation. Migraines - as horrible as they are - also have messages and it is up to us to discern what that message is. Just this past weekend, I had a terrible one. After figuring out the physiologial cause, the deeper spiritual message to me was to spend less energy on other people's problems and focus more on my health and my problems. Yes, I am a recovering codependent with an elderly mother. 

Read the Bible 

I cannot stress this enough. People have stopped going to church and many have lost their connection with God. A good way to reconnect is to spend time reading the Bible, the most copied manuscript of all time. It is the inspired word of God. In it, we can learn more about the Holy Spirit and how God wants us to live. 

There are nine fruits of the Spirit which means behaviors that show we are living not according to our flesh (ego), but more like Jesus. Do you know what they are?

1. Love

2. Joy

3. Peace

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6. Goodness

7. Faithfulness

8. Gentleness

9. Self control 

The more we exhibit these characteristics, the more loving person we become. We will be more tolerant of others. Have more joy, and find the peace we all seek. 

For Reflection 

Do you make time to get quiet on a daily basis? It is one of the steps to building our spiritual muscle and one way to grow spiritually. Which of the fruits of the Spirit could you need help with? If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, the next step is to ask for the Holy Spirit to fill you and then focus on one of the fruits to practice in your daily life. Sticky notes around the house are a good reminder. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, simply enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts AND a copy of my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", and remember, communication and community are a two-way street so feel free to connect with me and others on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @ArielPaz08. 

In the meantime, check out my other offerings on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apple. Pop on over to Pinterest and enjoy the collection I have curated for you. I just recently started posting on Instagram so follow me there too!

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned as we learn more on how to ignite the power within so you can take back your life and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Become a Kinder Person

Ever wonder why the world is in such a chaotic, violent state? Teenagers killing school children. Mothers and fathers abandoning their children, killing each other. Greed and politics prevailing over the good and safety of the world. 

Perhaps, like me, you ponder what you could possibly do to help society as a whole. Maybe you think there is nothing you can do, but there is. Each of us is like a pebble cast in the water. The effects of our behavior and our decisions, like the pebble, ripple out farther than we can see. Each of us has an impact on those around us, for good or for evil and our behavior is instructed by our mindset, our philosophy and our beliefs. 

Become an Instrument of Peace
You are a spiritual being and I believe you want to be a better, kinder person who makes an impact for good in this world. I know I do. Science shows, (see last week's post), that faith and spirituality are good not only for ourselves, physically and emotionally, but good for others.

We need more light in this world and each of us has to shine in our own little part of the world if we want to overcome the darkness that seems to be closing in. People who have a spiritual practice - no matter what the denomination or belief system - have common values. We are more alike than we are different. I have studied most of the major religions and I believe if the world would focus on our similiarities rather than our differences, there would be a lot more peace in the world. 

I know that many people have forsaken the "organized church" due to some past negative experience and as a result have lost their connection to God, the Divine, the Lord, their Higher Power, or whatever you want to call that universal force or energy. I believe people need help finding and connecting with their Higher Power.

It's Personal 
We each have a spirituality that is personal to us, but there are key steps or disciplines, if you will, that are universal and in the weeks to come I am going to outline them for you. My goal is to help you get started and you will find your way, by providing a little guidance. 

So I hope you will come along with me on this series and maybe even share this post with a friend who might be interested as well. I am excited to start and will be diligently working on how to present the material in a clear and digestible format. Love to hear your feedback. 

For Reflection
What area do you need the most work in? Is it your temper? Ego? Control issues? Worry? Whatever it is, a spiritual practice can help you become a better YOU, and after all, isn't that the goal? 

If you'd like to receive my weekly newsletter to stay in touch, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". Also be sure to check out my books to help you grow spiritually and find more joy and balance in life.  

So excited to start this new series with you. I do hope to hear from you about it. 

In the meantime, thanks for reading and 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

12 Daily Tips for Living a Calmer Life

How are you feeling today? Relaxed? Joyful? Motivated? Or perhaps you are feeling stressed, anxious, or worried? Whether we like it or not, stress is part of life, but we don't have to let it take over and steal our peace and joy. This month, with everything that is going on in the world and in our personal lives, I am sharing on how to have more calm during turbulent times. I hope you will join me as we explore the many ways we can find more peace in our daily lives. 

We can't do much about external events, but we can control our inner lives and peace starts within. This week I'm sharing 12 tips on how to maintain our peace of mind during extra stressful times. Some of them you might already know so this will be a reminder to practice them when the going gets tough and we feel off kilter. So let's get started. 

1. Take a deep breath.
Oxygen helps calm the body and signals the brain to counter the fight or flight reflex. When we are stressed we tend breath shallowly through our upper chest. Try a few deep, long inhalations expanding your belly and your ribs. Exhale very slowly. Feel the immediate calm. Close your eyes if you can and concentrate on breathing through your belly and your ribs. 

2. Make time for solitude. 
Being around people all day long is stressful; all the talking and chit chat can be very draining. I like to remind people that God gave us two ears and one mouth so we would listen twice as much as we talk. Instead of picking up the phone to vent your frustrations, try talking to God or journaling. Solitude is a gift we give ourselves. 

3. Slow down.
The fast pace of life today is not only unhealthy, it is actually dangerous to our hearts, our brains, and our bodies. In order to live in the presence of God and in the present moment, we must slow way down and that means not only our lives and activities, but our thoughts as well. My mind can go a million miles a minute. Ask my mother. It takes awareness to slow our thoughts down and we can't do it if we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off. God's pace is slow, have you noticed?

4. Pray and meditate. 
A relationship with God, just like any relationship, is a two-way street. We need to talk and listen. Prayer is talking to God and mediation is listening. Make time to do both BEFORE things get chaotic. If I know I am going to have a busy day, I make even MORE time to pray in the morning. If my mind and my spirit are not properly prepared, there is NO WAY I'm going to stay peaceful and grounded. I remind myself that I am a child of God, that Jesus is always with me, and that all I need to do is trust and obey.

5. Disconnect.
Learn to appreciate quiet. It might feel awkward for a short time if you're used to constantly having the radio or television blaring, or the cell phone beeping and buzzing, but soon you will begin to enjoy it and your ability to hear from God will increase. Guaranteed.

6.  Go for a slow walk.
Even a short 15 minute break on a busy day can get you off the rat's wheel and into a more relaxed frame of mind. I know it seems counter-intuitive but believe me, a SLOW walk will give you time to focus on your breathing and quiet your mind.

7.  Watch the negative self-talk.
Capture the thoughts running through your mind at any given point during the day. Are they positive or negative? Or are you thinking things like "This XXX is going to be the death of me" or "This --- is  driving me crazy" or "I can't handle this". If so, replace that old recording with positive affirmations. You will get it all done and you probably don't have to get it all done right now. You will not go crazy and you can handle whatever life throws at you. There is always provision when you learn to trust God. 

8.  Repeat a favorite prayer, scripture verse, or mantra.

I use Scripture because there is power in it, but you can use whatever phrases you prefer. Whatever is calming to you, memorize it and repeat it regularly.  
Some good ones I use are:
-  "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me."
- "Do not be anxious about anything, but pray about everything."
- "Lord, help me to be an instrument of thy peace."
- "Peace to all. Love to all. Light to all".

9. Keep your focus on God, not the universe. 
Some people believe in "the universe", which is an impersonal external force, but I prefer to believe in a personal, caring, friend named Jesus, who cares about me individually and sees everything that is going on in my life.
Remember this verse:
"You will keep him/her in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he/she trusts in You."  (Isaiah 26:3)

10. Be gentle with yourself.
Realize you are only human. You were not built to do it all. Take a hot bath. Go for a swim or a walk. Treat yourself to a nice cup of hot herbal tea or your favorite coffee. Learn to relax. Put your feet up and read a few pages of that book you've been wanting to finish. Take the pressure off  by scheduling less and relaxing more. This is a lesson I am learning as I am getting older. I cannot do what I used to do, so I need to be gentle with my body and my mind. 

11. Set limits. 
Learn to use that two-letter word 'NO' more often. We all have the same amount of time each day. No one sets our schedules but us. When I was raising my sons as a single parent, I learned things usually take more time and energy than I realized. I learned to build margin into my life so I wouldn't be so stressed out. Check out my blog post on it. 

Now that I am retired, I have time to relax more; to slow down from the frenetic pace of my former life and to relax and feel more at peace but it is hard to break old habits. Don't wait till you retire. Practice slowing down today. 

12. Forgive yourself and others. 
Unforgiveness is one of the main reasons we lose our peace. Ditch the false guilt. Realize you (or they) did the best you (or they) could under the circumstances and tomorrow is a  new opportunity to practice and to let go. Forgiveness is a daily practice. Don't get in the habit of carrying baggage into tomorrow. 

For Reflection 
Which of these tips can you implement today? Are you ready to make peace a priority in your life? Who do you need to forgive?

When we make peace a priority, everything else falls into place somehow. Post a comment and let me know what tips you use to keep your peace.

If you'd like to join our community, plus receive a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts of encouragement, motivation, and inspiration. Be sure to check out my Pinterest boards at www.pinterest.com/arielpaz as well for tons of info, recipes, exercise tips. and much more. Also, am so excited to share my new ebook, "Finding Faith in a World of Fear" on pre-order sale now on Amazon.com for a limited time only. 

Stay tuned for more on how to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time - keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Finding Calm in a World of Chaos

Do you yearn for more peace in your life? Are the events of the world making you even more anxious? Life is full of peace-stealers and they come in a variety of forms. Today I'm sharing on this oh so important topic because peace is priceless.

How we lose our peace 

Stressful situations come at us unexpectedly. Some we bring them on ourselves and some are caused by other people. Our thoughts go off on worst case scenarios. Adrenaline shoots through our veins. Then we react or rather we over-react. Boom. We've just lost our peace. 

What is the igniting factor here? The thoughts we think in the moment, right? 

The key to staying calm is to be aware of our thoughts in the moment. I've read like 60 or 80 thousand thoughts pass through our minds during the course of a day.  It is easy to get stuck ruminating on problems and difficult situations but there are some things we can do to take back control of our minds and sleep better at night. 

1. Work on slowing down 
Now I know this is not the mantra of our society.  At least in the United States, it's more of a "Get it done yesterday" "I've got so much to do"  mentality. This may be productive in some ways but not in others. In fact, doing too much during the day can cause us to have restless nights. Even the Bible cautions us about doing too much during the day and not resting enough. Slowing down helps us to be more aware of our thoughts.

2. Practice meditation. 
Meditation in one sense means clearing the mind. Some people may poo poo this idea, but the mind, just like our computers needs to be cleaned of all its junk files, viruses, and cookies. Stuff accumulates and meditation helps us to reset, recalibrate, and refocus. If you want to learn more about it, enter the word "meditation" in the search bar. 

3. Give yourself the gift of solitude.
I don't know about you, but when I am around other people I find it harder to stay centered. I have to really watch what comes out of my mouth and how I react/respond to what other people say and do. By solitude, I mean no computers, no smart phone, no music. Just quiet. Some people have a hard time with quiet, but it is really a great way to get in touch with our thoughts and feelings. If we aren't aware of what we are thinking we are at the mercy of our monkey minds.

4. Replace negative thoughts

Scripture says to think on things that are "just, excellent, noble, pure, of good report". In other words, we are not to dwell on the bad things that happen. We are to dwell - say dwell - on positive, uplifting thoughts. Did you know the brain has a bias towards negativity? This is why we have to make an effort to think faith-filled thoughts. 

5. Get to Know the true source of Peace. 
In times of great distress, did you know you have a supernatural power to assist you? I admit, I often forget, but it works every time. It's a secret only a select few know about and I'm going to let you in on it.

The true source of Peace is only found in the person of Jesus Christ. Now, you may or may not believe in Jesus, but I can tell you there is power - supernatural power - in calling on the name of Jesus. When all else fails and I am at my wit's end, I call on the name of Jesus. It is amazing. I feel an immediate change in myself and in the stratosphere. I don't know how it works, but I do know it works. Give it a try next time you feel really stressed out. 

So there you have it - 5 practical steps to achieving more calm in a world of chaos. 

For Reflection 

Your homework is to stop and ask yourself this question several times a day for the next few days: "What am I thinking about right now?" If you find yourself obsessing over something, you're expending useless energy. Stop and replace it with a prayer. Guaranteed to work. What we can choose what we think about. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". If you are already a member, pass this along to a friend who might need it. 

In the meantime, stay tuned for more on igniting the power within and discovering YOUR DESTINY!

Ariel Paz

When to Leave an Unhealthy Relationship

Relationships can be tough, no doubt about it. Each of us has our own set of sensitivities, personality issues, and emotional wounds. We are at different levels of emotional maturity and intellect. It is amazing to me that anyone gets along. Today I'm sharing on what to do about difficult relationships and how not to let them get the best of you. 

Relationships are important, we can all agree on that. The goal of any relationship is for each party to grow and to become emotionally healthier, but as my oldest son says, it takes two to tango. Each party must be willing to change. Often ego holds us back because no one wants to admit they need to change. 

After many years of trying to making impossible relationships work, I have learned one thing. Peace and self-respect are more important than any relationship. For years, I made relationships top priority. I had it backwards! I was always putting "the relationship" before my mental, physical, and emotional well-being. I tolerated poor behavior from my then-husband, then from the immature men I dated and from insecure girlfriends. I tolerated verbal abuse from my mother and my sister as well because, after all, that is what I was used to. 

And what happened? I suffered from complex migraine for years, that's what! I went from neurologist to neurologist and doctor to doctor trying to find a cure. Why? Because I was constantly ruminating on the problems in my relationships. I was always taking the blame and putting emotional stress on my brain. I always thought I was the problem, but in reality, it takes two to tango and two to fix any relationship. Each person must be willing to own up to their part and be willing to change for the sake of the relationship. 

Then as I was soaking in a hot bath one evening, pondering over the latest hurtful relationship dilemma, it dawned on me. I was allowing poor behavior!!!! Scripture puts it like this: "What you allow on earth, will be loosed in heaven. What you bind on earth, shall be bound in heaven." (Matt 16:19)

I think the crux of the problem was that I did not respect myself enough to expect to be treated right! I think most people know when they are treating people badly and they continue to do it as long as you allow them to. They make excuses and put the blame on you, instead of taking personal responsibility for their impact on you. I was allowing it, and paying a very high price. My brain and my body were screaming at me, telling me something was drastically wrong but I wasn't listening. 

Is your body trying to tell you something? Pain of any kind is a message. Are you in a relationship that is stealing your peace and joy? Could it be that you are allowing poor treatment like I did? Today is the day to take a stand for yourself. Stop allowing other people, no matter how they are related, to treat you like c--p. You deserve better! Confront them and ask for change if they care about you, they will make the change. If they don't, it's time to ask yourself the hard question of "Do I really want to be in this relationship anyway?"

If this post was helpful, join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom on spirituality, faith, relationships, and personal growth. Today is the day to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!
Ariel Paz 

A New Look at Anxiety and How to Identify It

Anxiety has gotten a bad rap in society. Millions of people suffer from a variety of so-called anxiety-based illnesses. Health care providers throw anti-depressants at their patients as an all-purpose panacea without spending time to get to the root cause. Today we are talking about anxiety to help remove the stigma and the shame, and to help us all get better at managing it. 

In the fear-driven world we live in, anxiety steals our peace and our joy and keeps us from achieving our goals and fulfilling our destiny! So, what is really going on here? Today we'll talk about a different way to view anxiety, what it stems from, and the signs we need to look out for.

First of all, anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about, okay? Except in extreme cases, anxiety is a normal reaction that something is not right in our lives. Many situations and circumstances can provoke an anxious response, depending on our life experiences. Anxiety is our body and mind speaking to us, telling us something is out of kilter. If left unaddressed, long term anxiety can cause physical illness.The body reacts to what the mind is dealing with either consciously or unconsciously. 

Anxiety is a close relative of fear. Its other relatives include worry, doubt, and overwhelm. Anxiety is rooted in the core belief of self-doubt and that we are incapable of handling the circumstances of life. It is often a learned behavior. Many, including yours truly, learned to be anxious, from our parents. It also came from being brought up in a volatile, chaotic, alcoholic home where nothing was stable. For many years, my mom declared "I'm a worrier", as if it were a badge of honor. In her golden years, she has moved somewhat from worry into more peace, trust, and confidence. So what happened?

Studies have shown that the way we think forms neural pathways in our brains and the more we think in a certain way, the deeper these grooves go. The good news is it is possible to retrain and remold our brains when we retrain our thinking. Here is an article on retraining our brain.

Why are we anxious?
Anxiety can be our friend but like any friend, we have to set our limits with it. There is a message in our anxiety and rather than medicating the feeling away or denying its existence, a healthier approach is to acknowledge it and then to understand what the root cause of the feeling is. 
Do we have too much to do? 
Are we stressed about our finances? A relationship? 
Are we afraid to speak in public? Confront others? 
Are we feeling out of control?

There are a multitude of reasons why we feel anxious and it is up to us to figure out the root cause and then take action to address it, rather than pop a pill or take a drink.

Signs we are anxious
Here are some of the signs we are anxious:
1) talking too much and too fast
2) rushing from task to task
3) feeling out of control and overwhelmed
4) eating too much
5) insomnia
6) inability to relax
7) frequent headaches or digestion issues

Next time we'll talk about how we can handle this feeling in healthier more productive ways. 

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment or share with a friend. If you'd like to receive my weekly posts and a copy of my free e-book entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email address in the box provided.

Until next time, stay tuned for more on how to have more peace in our lives and as always,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

10 Practical Ways to Keep Your Peace During Stressful Times

Stock market got you rattled? Work stressing you out? Weight out of control? There are so many things that can cause us to lose our peace, aren't there? It's easy to get stressed out in today's non-stop world. Yet there are some things we can do to stay calm and enjoy our day, despite what's going on around us. Today, I'd like to offer up some tips on how to keep our peace during the rough spots along the highway of life.

1. Take a deep breath.
When we are stressed we tend to take shallow breaths. Try a few deep, long inhalations and exhalations and feel the immediate calm. Close your eyes if you can and concentrate on breathing through your abdomen instead of your chest. Oxygen helps calm the body and signals the brain to counter the fight or flight response.

2. Make time for solitude.
Being around people, computers, phones, and lights all day long can be stressful. Talking drains our energy. Instead of picking up the phone to vent your frustrations, try talking to God, journaling, and meditation. Unlike some people, God is never too busy to listen. When we take time to get alone with ourselves, we disconnect from all the distractions going on around us. Solitude is a way to recharge our batteries. Learn to appreciate quietness. It might feel awkward for a short time if you're used to constantly having music or television blaring, but soon you will begin to enjoy it and your ability to hear from God will increase. Guaranteed.

3. Slow down.
The fast pace of life today is not only unhealthy, it is actually dangerous to our hearts, brains, and bodies. In order to live in the presence of God and the present moment, we must slow way down and that means not only our lives and activities, but our thoughts as well. My mind can go a million miles a minute. Ask my mother. It takes awareness to slow our thoughts down and we can't do it if we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off. When we slow down physically, we are able to slow down mentally as well. God's pace is slow, have you noticed?

4. Go for a slow walk.
Even a short 15 minute break on a busy day can get you off the rat's wheel and into a more relaxed frame of mind. I know it seems counter-intuitive but believe me, a SLOW walk will give you time to focus on your breathing and quiet your mind. Fast walking perpetuates fast-paced activity and thinking.

4. Pray and meditate.
The time to pray and meditate is BEFORE things get chaotic. Prayer and meditation are the ways we use to connect with ourselves and with God. Prayer is speaking to God and meditation is listening. If I know I am going to have a busy day, I make even MORE time to pray in the morning. If my mind and my spirit are not properly prepared, there is NO WAY I'm going to stay peaceful. I remind myself that I am a child of God, that Jesus is always with me, and that all I need to do is trust and obey.

5. Watch the negative self-talk.
Capture the thoughts running through your mind at any given point during the day. Mindfulness helps us to be aware of what we are doing and what we are thinking. Are our thoughts positive? Or are we thinking things like "This XXX is going to be the death of me" or "These kids are driving me crazy" or "I'll never get all this done". If so, it's time to replace the old recordings with positive affirmations. You will get it all done. You will not go crazy and you can handle whatever life brings at you. Negative, fearful thoughts only contribute to the feelings of stress and anxiety. We are in control of our thoughts. Don't let them control you.

7. Make time for self-care. 
Self-care is not selfish. If  you don't take care of you, you won't be able to take care of anyone else either. Realize you are only human. We were not built to do it all. We are human "beings" not human doings. Ignore the to-do list for a day. There will always be stuff to do as long as we are breathing on this earth. Take a hot bath. Do your nails. Treat yourself to a nice cup of hot tea or your favorite java. Put your feet up and read a few pages of your favorite book or magazine or take a few minutes to meditate and clear your mind. Take the pressure off by doing little things to care for yourself and recharge. 

8. Set limits.
Learn to use that two-letter word 'NO' more often. We each have the same amount of time each day. No one sets our schedules but us. When I was raising my sons, I learned things usually take more time and energy than I realized. I learned to build margin into my life so I wouldn't be so stressed out and rushed all the time. I developed a firm "Don't rush me" ethic. I didn't give it all at the job so I could have something left when I got home. I didn't climb the corporate ladder because my family was more important than any title or promotion. What is sapping your time and energy? 

9. Repeat your mantra.
Choose a word or a phrase that reminds you that you can handle whatever is stressing you out. I like to use verses from the Bible as they are powerful and God responds when we speak His word out loud.
Some good ones are:
- "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it."
- "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me."
- "Do not be anxious about anything, but pray about everything."
- "Lord, help me to be an instrument of thy peace."
- " I am enough". 

10. Strengthen your spiritual muscle.
Remember you have a power deep within you to help you overcome life's challenges. The power of Faith is a tremendous weapon against stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. When we practice strengthening our spiritual muscle, the circumstances of life will have less power over us.

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." (Isaiah 26:3)

Start implementing a few of these tips every week and you will see results. When we learn to make peace a priority in our lives, everything else falls into place. I believe that is because God honors peace. 

If you found this post helpful and would like to join our community and receive my  bi-weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more on handling the stresses of life, and having more peace and joy in our daily lives. Post a comment and share what tips you use to keep your peace and until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

3 Keys to Staying in Peace in a Chaotic World

What's stealing your peace today? The war? The news? The stock market?

With the world in such a state of chaos, it is a challenge to find peace and even more difficult to maintain a calm, relaxed state of mind and body. Every time we turn around there is some other crisis, tragedy, or natural disaster. Fear and anxiety threaten us at every turn: from the uncertainty and stress of the pandemic, to the threats and misdeeds of foreign powers, fires, and social unrest, to our own personal dramas and dilemmas. What a better world this would be if everyone made peace a higher priority. One of the goals of this blog is to help us all find and be more in harmony with ourselves and others. 

Peace is a gift that Jesus gave us, but people seek after it in different places. 

Jesus said "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

Where do you look for peace?

Some people find it in a church, synagogue or sanctuary. Others find it at a yoga class or through meditation. Still others calm their minds and spirits by taking a walk in nature or playing a musical instrument. Human beings have the same basic needs. Every soul yearns to be at peace.

At my yoga class this morning, after the chatter of the world's events settled down and the instructor dimmed the lights. Candles were lit. Incense burned. The students were quiet and contemplative. Each absorbed in their own thoughts on their mats intent on clearing their minds and connecting with their intention and focus inward. It occurred to me how yoga class resembled church service in many ways.

In church, we are urged to do the same thing - to clear our minds, to be fully present, and to focus. As attendees folded and put away their mats and props, I was reminded of the solemnity of leaving church after taking communion. The feeling I have when I leave yoga class is similar to the feeling I have when I leave a good church service. Both yoga and church are about grounding, calming our minds and bodies, and finding connection: to ourselves, to others, and also to God. As more and more people flee organized religion and church attendance continues to decline, is it any wonder yoga has gained such popularity? The need for peace and connection still remains. 

The problem is that the calm feeling we gain from outside ourselves is temporary. What happens when we turn on the television and hear about the latest bombing, mass shooting, Covid variant or invasion? One aggressive driver, an angry phone call, or new deadline can steal our calm. How then can we manage to hold onto our peace?

1. Realize true peace comes only from a relationship with God.
When we come to know who God is and how he works, we will have more of an understanding of what is really going on around us and why. We can rest knowing that even when the world seems like it is spinning out of control, God is still in control and we can relax and trust. It is a learned practice and is never too late to start if we want to let go of the fear and anxiety that is omnipresent in this chaotic world we live in. 

2. Understand that peace must be pursued.
It doesn't happen on its own. We must be intentional about making peace a priority in our lives. If we want to see more peace in the world, it must start with each of us. If we fly off the handle when we're stressed, when someone cuts us off or ticks us off, or if we can't control our emotions, is it any wonder why the world is in such a state? Even worse, how do we expect our kids to act? Then we wonder why so many young people are shooting others with such disregard. We must set the example for future generations. 

3. Give ourselves more time to recharge.
And I don't mean by running to the gym or going out for happy hour. Life is stressful and things take more out of us than most of us realize, both energetically and emotionally. This is why I have found it is so important to have mega doses of downtime, When we slow down our bodies, we slow down our minds and allow the events of the day to register. Give yourself time to process them. Go for a quiet walk. Close your eyes and meditate for ten to twenty minutes. Take a leisurely swim. Write in a journal. The key is to slow down. It might feel awkward at first, but it is crucial if we want to stay in peace by processing the events and emotions of the day. You'll soon reap the benefits of a calmer, more relaxed body and mind.

For Reflection
Who or what makes you lose your peace? This week I encourage you to implement some of these techniques. Make more time for solitude and self-reflection. Start a journal of your feelings and emotions. Get in touch with yourself and with God and let me know how it goes. I enjoy hearing from you. 

If this post was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path, enter your email address in the box provided.

Stay tuned for more on how to find healing,wholeness, and harmony and until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Stay in Peace During Stressful Times

November is a beautiful month. The bushes and trees are all dressed in their fall finery. I love seeing the vibrant hues of red, gold, and green from my windows. When the rays of the morning sun fall on the earth, I am thankful for the glory and beauty God has created. Have you noticed lately?

This is also a very busy season of the year. The stores are gearing up extra early it seems for Christmas. The local transit buses are displaying the "Happy Holidays" sign before Thanksgiving had even arrived.

All this extra activity overloads our senses and lowers our immune systems. Many people come down with colds, allergies, and unexplainable illnesses. On top of it all, most of us have to deal with end-of-year work, medical, and tax-related demands. So what to do?

Start the day on a positive note. 
Despite our to do lists and the pressures of life, if we keep our thoughts on the positives and on God,  we will ward off much stress.  I make a conscious effort to focus on the positives and give thanks each and every morning when I first wake up. My favorite verse is "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24) Notice the focus on personal choice - I will. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is a choice we make which sets the tone for our day. It helps us handle the inconveniences and difficulties of the day and to have compassion for the rudeness of people.

Focus on the presence and power of God instead of your problems.
It's easy enough to let our thoughts drift onto our problems. If we're not careful we'll get ourselves into a funk about this or that relationship or issue. I have been making more of an effort to catch myself thinking. I know I have a tendency to ruminate and that is unhealthy. Isaiah 26:3 says " You will keep him/her in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee." In other words, keep your thoughts on God and on his grace and mercy. Some problems are unsolvable in our own strength. If we want to stay in peace, we have to keep our thoughts on the right things. Phil 4:8 says "Think on these things: things that are true, honest, just, pure, noble, lovely and of good report."

Pray about daily needs.
Take today for example. I was walking up the hill carrying, as usual, too many heavy grocery bags. I could have started complaining and whining about the steep hill and the heavy bags -blah blah blah. Do you like listening to complainers? Well God doesn't either.  Look what happened to the Israelites. 

Instead, I prayed for someone to give me a ride up the hill and before I was a third of the way up, a neighbor on the opposite side of the road slowed to ask if I wanted a ride. She made a U turn and pulled up beside me. You can imagine how thankful I was for her! That was God!

"Which entrance would you like to be dropped at?" she asked. Wow, talk about service. She was an angel. The Lord certainly heard and answered my prayer. Now the reason I am sharing this story is to show you how God does hear and answer our prayers. He sees everything we are going through and He hears our cries and petitions but we have to do our part and ask for what we need. We also must  maintain an attitude of gratitude which shows that we trust God to work things out, help us in our times of need, and to make the path clear.

Make time to rest. 
The tendency during busy times is to move quicker, do more, and skip eating right and exercising. This is a setup for the flu bug to attack us come the new year. When we feel the tug of busyness, it is especially important to take good care of ourselves physically and emotionally. It may seem counter-intuitive, but resting frequently will help us not only get through the busy season but do so in
good health and in peace.

Not only do we need physical rest, but mental rest is even more important.  I am implementing daily meditation breaks. I set my phone alarm for 20 minutes and sit myself down on my yoga mat. Close my eyes and just let my mind rest. See my blog posts on how to meditate. I relax my body and let the stress melt away.  Neither our bodies nor our minds were built to run on fast forward.

So, friends, this season, amidst all the hustle and bustle, the irritations and the misfortunes, remember that peace, prayer, and rest are crucial to enjoying this special time.  And remember to be a blessing to someone else!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my free eguide, "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" as well as my weekly posts. Your feedback is always appreciated.

Until next time, stay tuned for more practical and positive wisdom on igniting the power within and discovering YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

What to Do About the Difficult Person in Your Life

Is there someone in your life with whom you just can't seem to get along? It could be a coworker, a boss, or even a close family member. We all have someone that is a challenge to get along with so today we are going to talk about how to manage that relationship and still keep your peace. 

First, it is important to realize this: that difficult person is in your life for a reason. There is a lesson your soul needs to learn and they are the teacher. When we run away from difficult people, before we learn the lesson, be sure that life will serve us up someone else to help us learn the very same lesson. 

So, what to do after an argument or conflict?

1. Get your emotions under control. 

Nothing good is accomplished in the heat of the moment. When our emotions are all fired up, logic goes out the door. We need to see clearly what is going on when the fog of the frustration and anger has cleared. 

2. Take a step back. 

Rather than continue to fight it out with our egos and our pride, the next thing is to take a step back. Realize sometimes relationships have to go backwards before they can go forwards because we are all human and the stresses of life cause us to resort to our old patterns of behavior. 

3. Think about your part in the problem. 

We all like to point the finger of blame at the other person. Why? Because of our egos. We don't want to accept responsibility for any wrong-doing, but as I often remind myself,  there are always two sides to any story. Ask yourself what could you have done differently. One of my problems is I am too nice and eager to please. Often, if I had just listened to my gut, I would have said no and probably avoided the problem in the first place. 

Here's a recent story that happened when I failed to say "No" to my oldest son. Mother's Day was approaching. He asked me what I wanted to do and told me his expectant wife was unable to go out of the house. I wanted to do something fun but instead, capitulated and said okay and I agreed to drive over to his house on the other side of town. I could feel the tension in our conversations in the weeks preceding but was hopeful everything would work out. I was dead wrong. Spare you all the details, but it took me over 50 minutes in the pouring rain and heavy traffic to get to his house. He was waiting for me to go pick up the carryout, and said I couldn't stay in the house alone when I wanted to relax after the exhausting drive. Right there something was fishy. My gut was telling me to say "No, don't go over there" that very morning, but I ignored it. What I should have said was "Sounds like you are not up to celebrating Mother's Day today, let's make it another day". My peace of mind would have thanked me and it would have prevented the migraine I had the next day. If only....

4. Say your peace

After we have calmed down, and thought about our part of the problem, it is time to try to resolve the issue with the other person. It takes two people to want to resolve problems and sometimes, the other party doesn't want to resolve it. Go ahead anyway and say your peace, be it by phone or email. I prefer in person talks. Communicate your feelings to the other person. Avoid using blame terms such as "You did this...". Use " I feel (name the emotion)" sentences. This gets to the root of how you are feeling so that the other person can understand. Now, if you are dealing with someone with narcissistic tendencies, this might not get through, but at least you will have gotten it out. 

Another thing we can do is to suggest solutions to prevent the problem from happening again. Life is a live-and-learn arena. Holidays can be especially stressful and they will not always turn out the way we would like. Adjust, accept and move on. 

5. Give them to God.

If the other person refuses to address the situation, this is unhealthy for the relationship. It is also out of your control. In this case, once you have confronted the issue, expressed your feelings and taken responsibility for your part, it is time to give it to God. In other words, you have done all you can, and it is now up to God to work on the other person. We never know how long this might take, but if we want peace of mind, we must stop ruminating on the problem and trust that God will work it out when it is appropriate. Go on living and enjoying your life and don't give any more energy to a negative situation. 

So there you have them: 5 steps to dealing with a difficult person. I hope this personal post has given you some insight into how to deal with the people in our lives. If so, please join our blog community and enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly encouraging and educational posts as well as my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive, practical, and powerful wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Deal With Drama at the Holidays

Don't you just wish, for once, holidays could be drama-free? Do you think it is ever possible? I think there have been years - occasionally- when the holidays have been peaceful, but whenever people come in and out of our lives like a merry-go-round, there's bound to be drama. It takes time and patience to learn how to get along with others and how to make holidays enjoyable for all. I guess I should just resolve myself to the fact that no matter how much I strive for peace and to get along with everyone, it just is not always possible.

Everybody has stressors. Some we know about. Some we don't.  I think it is pretty safe to say that most people are not advertising everything that is stressful in their lives. I've realized I'm not even aware of everything that is stressing me on any given day, so I keep a journal and list everything that is bothering me. It really helps to be aware of what is impacting me so I can adjust accordingly. We just never know what someone is dealing with but it does seem that holidays, for whatever reason, tends to be more stressful.

I guess that's why people go to the beach or take a vacation to avoid dealing with any of it and I can't say that I blame them. You gotta do what you gotta do. But I think the issues that arise over some holidays are issues that need to be dealt with, and not run away from. The holidays have a way of bringing stuff to the forefront, kind of like saying "Deal with me. Deal with me."

We all have baggage of some sort, I don't care how young or old you are. Now I am not a psychologist, but I do notice patterns in people's behavior, especially my own. For example, I don't like to be an after-thought. Reminds me of the way my ex used to treat me. I was always last on his priority list. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now. I think it probably stems for some sort of left-over rejection from having an alcoholic for a father who was always in his own world and too bombed to pay any attention to his daughter. If you had an emotionally absent parent, you understand what I'm talking about. A parent's job is to make their children feel loved, secure, and valued. Nonetheless, this is part of what any love relationship is about - helping to heal the other person through love.

Any time I start feeling like this, I get angry. No longer do I "suck it up" or pretend it doesn't bother me. Now I say something sooner rather than later. Experts say the best way to share these feelings is by using an "I feel" sentence. I've also learned that expressing my hurt feelings will most likely cause a problem because most people, except for my youngest son bless his heart, don't know how to handle confrontation in a safe, healthy, and mature manner.

They either:

a) get defensive

b) give me an excuse

c) raise their voice

Usually all three. None of which are healthy and productive to the resolution of the problem . These behaviors cause distance and alienation rather than connection and healing. A better response would go something like this:

"Gee, I'm sorry you felt...... I didn't mean to cause you pain. I will try better in the future to...." 

This kind of response shows accountability and responsibility and more importantly, compassion, which is what we want from our close friends and loved ones. Sadly, many people are not at a level of maturity to be able to respond this way, which of course, is out of our control. So what to do in these kinds of situations?

1. Do not get riled up yourself. Exercise self-control or withdraw from the conversation. 

2. Have compassion for the other party and for yourself. We are all on our own journey. 

3. Say what you have to say, kindly and calmly, but don't count on the other person being able to receive it properly. Sometimes I do this through email to avoid a hostile reaction.

4. Pray for the relationship and for God to bring clarity and understanding to both parties.
5. Own your part of the problem and decide what YOU can do differently. As my oldest son says, it takes two to tango.

Once I have said what I have to say, I give it to God, regardless of the reaction of the other person. The key is to not hold onto the resentment, rejection, or negative feeling. We have to get it out. Holding negative emotions in causes physical and mental stress which lowers our immune system and makes us more likely to get sick. Typically, I get a migraine from ruminating about the situation but everyone reacts differently. 

I hope this post has been helpful. I write from my personal experiences and I know many of you struggle with the same sorts of issues. Your feedback is always welcome. If you'd like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts plus a copy of my free eguide entitled " 7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more practical and positive wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR DESTINY!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Dance

Do you hate getting lost? I do. It doesn't happen often but when it does, I know I'm in for a test. It seems like it happens when I'm in a hurry to get someplace. You know the feeling, I'm sure. Life's frustrations can cause us to lose our peace and get angry, but today we'll talk about how to let go of anger and frustration before they steal our joy and ruin our day.

It was a Friday night and my son, Jon, and I were out celebrating his 30th birthday. We had just finished a lovely meal at a Spanish restaurant in Houston and were headed to a dance studio to take a salsa lesson at 9 pm. We had less than 30 minutes to get there. On the way to the car after dinner, I started to get excited about the evening. It would be the first dance lesson my son has had and perhaps I was more excited than he. I had found a coupon for free entry if we arrived before 9:30.

"This is going to be so much fun!" I exclaimed as I settled into his new Nissan with the homemade birthday cake on my lap.

Now, Houston is not exactly the easiest place to get around. The city is huge and so are the highways. Jon plugged in the address of the studio into his trusty GPS and waited. And waited. And waited. No response.

"I know where this place is," he announced and pulled out of the parking spot.

"We're looking for 59 north," he said.

As we headed out of the city, it seemed we were going into nowhereland.

"I don't see any signs for 59 north," I said. After circling the side roads, we eventually hit a dead end. Jon's tone was becoming firmer and the tension in the air was getting thicker by the minute.

"Doesn't look like we're going to make the lesson, so we might as well go home," he announced. It was like someone stuck a pin in my balloon of anticipation and excitement.

"Ok, if that's what you want to do," I surrendered.

Then Jon says: "I think the enemy is trying to get us into a fight to ruin the evening. But he's not going to get his way. Forget this GPS. I think I know how to get us there," Jon stated with a renewed sense of determination. My hopes started to rise again as he found the way to a highway.

It was 9:20 when we pulled into the parking lot of the studio.

"Let's take a few breaths," Jon said and we both sat in silence for a few minutes collecting ourselves.

Peace must be fought for.

We knew we had avoided a close call and we both accepted that fact that we had missed the lesson.

"At least we made it in time to get in free," I offered.

We stepped into the studio. The place was hopping with activity.

"I guess the lesson is over," I said to the gal checking us in at the door.

"No, as a matter of fact, it is going to start in 5 minutes."

Jon and I looked at each other in amazement. We both knew what had happened.

"That's God's favor," Jon says quietly. "Because we didn't get into an argument in the car,".

I was grateful for both the unexpected blessing of the dance lesson and for the fact that Jon was so wise to have learned this lesson so young. It had taken me years to realize this.

So, next time you find yourself in a tense situation that is out of your control, remember to defuse it by surrendering. When we choose peace instead of conflict, we not only save our energy and our spirits, but God smiles upon us with favor.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive my bi-weekly posts, enter your email in the box provided and I'll send you a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Love to hear your feedback on your latest adventure and until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel