How to Make More Joy this Season

Welcome to the third week of Advent. This week the focus is on the gift of Joy. It seems to be a buzzword these days. Everybody is looking for more joy but most don't know where to find it. News flash - Joy comes from God! Joy is an inner delight that springs up like a fountain of fresh water despite our circumstances. Let's take a minute and go back to that heavenly night long ago.....

Let's Go Back a Moment 

The shepherds are going about their business of tending their sheep in the dark of the night. When lo and behold, a star appears in the sky and soon angels appear and begin heralding the news of the birth of the Messiah. Imagine the great JOY they must have felt! Intrigued, they follow the star to the place where Mary had just given birth. How do you feel when you see a newborn baby? Imagine if you knew it was the Son of God. 

Back to the Present

The holidays are upon us. Are you feeling it yet? I know the year has been a rough one for several reasons, so this week I am hoping to help you cook up some joy this season. 

We're supposed to be filled with joy but -- sometimes -- joy is hard to come by. Lots of things can try and steal our joy, if we let them: a strained relationship, an illness, a job loss. The list is endless. So today, in this third week of Advent, I am here to cheer you up and help you cook up some joy in your life.

Food and festivities are plentiful this time of year and everyone has a favorite dish or recipe they look forward to. I love hearing what different cultures do for the holidays.  An Italian neighbor of mine makes 500 homemade ravioli every year for her extended family. My oldest loves stromboli and Caesar salad. Greeks make powdered sugar cookies with a clove in the middle. Americans love their eggnog and pecan pie.

Today I'd like to share with you a favorite recipe of mine. I found it in a very old "cook" book known as the Bible. All the ingredients for a happy, healthy, and successful life can be found within its pages.

So if you'd like to cook up some joy this season, follow this simple recipe:

1. Remember you are a unique and one of a kind individual. There is no one else on earth like you and God adores you! (Ps. 139:14)
2. Add a touch of kindness towards others.  This helps us get out of our self-absorbed world and into someone else's shoes. (See Eph. 4:32)
3. Add a hefty dose of prayer to cover everything that is on your mind.(Phil. 4:6)
4. Remove any seeds of worry, fear, negativity, anger, or unforgiveness.(Eph. 4:31) 
5. Stir in positive thoughts about what is true, lovely, noble, pure and helpful.

(See Phil. 4:8)
6. Mix well until you feel peace simmering within.(See John 14:27)
7. Wait for joy to bubble up. True joy is a gift from God and when we are at living at peace with ourselves and God, joy bubbles up like a fountain. (See Romans 15:13)
8. Sprinkle generously with thanksgiving. Be thankful for your many blessings and then turn around and serve a blessing to others. (Phillipians 4:)

No one has a perfect life. It make look like they do from their Facebook or TikTok posts but everyone is fighting some kind of battle. However, we can choose joy despite our circumstances. If you are reading this, chances are you have a roof over your head, a decent income, and plenty of food on your table. That is a lot to be joyful about.

For Reflection 

Joy is the third gift of Christmas. Are you feeling joyful these days? If not, what is stealing your joy? Can you look at things from a different perspective? There is always another way to see things. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my NEW eguide "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice." 

Give this recipe a try and watch joy bubble up in you! 

Stay tuned for more on healing, wholeness, and harmony to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny.

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Keep Hope Alive During the Holidays

Do you look forward to the holidays? Or do you wish you could pull the covers over your head and wake up when they are all over? Not to fret! I have learned the trick to enjoying the holidays, no matter what is going on in my life and I am sharing it with you this month in our holiday series. 

 

The First Week of Advent

This is the first week of Advent and I want to help us focus on something that will keep us going all through the year whatever it may bring and that is the first gift of Christmas, which is the gift of HOPE.

In case you might not know, Advent means "coming" or "arrival". It is a time of expectation, anticipation, and preparation leading up to the celebration of the birth of Christ. The Advent wreath is made up of evergreens to remind us that even though we may be in a season of winter where things seem dead and we don't see any growth happening, new life will come again.  It is a time to focus on the true gifts of Christmas which do not come in a nicely decorated box. Instead they came in a manger with straw, hay, and farm animals. Can you picture the scene?

How do we keep hope alive during the tough times? 

When people mistreat us or leave us? When the world feels unjust and unfair? When life hasn't panned out the way we would have liked? When events of the world have taken a turn? When inflation threatens our very existence and our families?

Biblical Story 
Let's look at the example of the young girl named Mary, who was probably no more than 13 or 14 years old. The angel of the Lord appeared to Mary and told her she was going to be with child without having known a man. Now, these days unwed mothers are a regular occurrence, but not in those days. In those days, being pregnant outside of marriage was a sin and a crime punishable by stoning to death, not a very happy prospect to be sure. But what was Mary's response? 

"Let it be done unto me according to your word."

Mary's response was one of willingness, trust, and surrender. She submitted her life and her will for God's purposes no matter what the cost. She was willing to endure the shame of being an unwed mother and possible death by stoning to be obedient to God. Mary had no idea of the pain and suffering she would endure to bring the Christ child into this world. Mary had received the first gift of Christmas - HOPE. 

The Source of Hope 
Mary's hope was in God and in His great love for her. For this same reason, we, too, can have hope this holiday season. When we are secure in the knowledge of God's immeasurable and unfailing love or us, no matter what comes our way, good or bad, we can rest in God's promise to always be with us and to never forsake us, no matter who else does.  And what better partner to have in life than the Lord God Almighty?

God is Always With You and Me
Jesus is also called Emmanuel, which means "God with us". God promises to be with us, particularly during the tough times. One of my favorite verses is Ps. 34:18 which says: "God is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." We all get down at times, but it is in these tough times, that the Lord is closest to us. He is always drawing us to him, if only we listen to that still small voice. 

The Future is Brighter after the Darkness 

Like Mary, sometimes we don't know what the future holds, but we can hold fast to the One who does because God is faithful. One of my favorite verses from the Bible is John 1:5 "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness will never put it out." Keep your eyes on the light. 

When we look at our lives through our spiritual glasses and through the lens of faith, it is possible to maintain hope even when things look dark and desperate. When plan A has failed, God always has Plan B. Sometimes God doesn't give us what we think we want. He gives us something BETTER! 

As we enter this Advent season, let's choose to focus on the gifts of the season, rather than what may be missing or not so perfect in our lives. Above all, let's trust God. His timing is perfect and he is working ALL things out for our good, even if we don't see it at the moment. God's ways are higher than our ways, and God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts. 

For Reflection 

What are your hopes this holiday season? What is the longing of your heart? Whatever it is, give it to the Lord, and trust that He will surround you with His amazing love this season. His gifts are for every child of His and that means each and every one of us. When all else fades, Jesus is still there to light our way. "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (John 8:12). Choose to walk in the light this holiday season. 

If this post has encouraged you, join our community to receive my weekly posts. You'll also receive my free newest ebook entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Path". All you have to do is enter your email address in the box provided. While you're at it, pass it on. Someone you know may need a little hope this season. 

Need a gift? Consider giving a copy of my inspirational true story, "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness, and harmony" available on Amazon and your favorite online booksellers. Or my latest book on spiritual growth entitled "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth" also available at your favorite online bookseller. 

For all kinds of interesting tips and info from exercise and diet, to mindfulness and meditation to the benefits of tea, pop on over to my Pinterest page at https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/boards/ 

Stay tuned for more encouraging and uplifting posts this month to help you enjoy this season.

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Make Love a Reality this Season

As we enter the last week of Advent, amidst the frenzy of gift-buying and gift-giving, let us focus on the greatest gift of all - the gift of Love. Contrary to Hollywood movies and popular interpretation, love is not a feeling nor is it something that just hits you all of a sudden. Nor is it to be confused with with sexual attraction, chemistry, or lust. 

True enduring Love is an action and a choice we make on a daily basis, sometimes and often despite how we feel.  Now that may come as a shock to some of you but love is not simply or solely a matter of feelings. Many people get divorced because they just don't "feel" it anymore, but that is not what true Love is all about. 

Love is a daily decision and a conscious choice. It is a choice the Lord God made two thousand years ago to send his one and only Son to be born in human form to eventually die a criminal's death on the cross  - for you and for me. This week's post is dedicated to understanding this great gift of Love and what it means to us today. 

Imagine this scene for a moment: a couple and their newborn child huddle together in a stable filled with the sights and sounds of animals, hay, and probably some other not so pleasant things since there was no room for them at the inn. Instead of family and friends, they are encircled by strangers, cows, and pigs, in a land of poverty and persecution. Instead of fancy trees decorated with ribbons and lights, they are surrounded by stars and the light of the Heavenly Host. There are no beautifully wrapped gifts under a tree. No tables laden with food galore. There is no hustle and bustle, just a calm peace and the quiet of this Holy Night. They are surrounded by the warmth of Love and Wonder and Awe.

Despite the harsh conditions, the lack of shelter, and being far from family and loved ones, there is a peace that surpasses all understanding because they are surrounded by the Love and presence of God.

And so are you and I.  No matter who is mad at us, who has wronged us, who has rejected us or who is absent, whether we are married, single, or widowed, God is with us.  His name, Emmanuel means just that: God with us. Jesus understands the loneliness of being single, the sadness of loss, and the grief of the death of a beloved friend or relative. Despite how we may feel, we are never alone, just as Mary and Joseph were not alone. 

Whatever our situation, God is near. The question this season is: will we let the peace and the joy of what God has done for us soften our hardened hearts and heal our broken places? Will we draw closer to the Christ child and receive his precious gift of Love this season? And then, will we show this love to others even though they don't show it back to us? This is the love - the sacrificial love - that God showed us that silent night, not expecting anything in return. 

When the burdens of this life seem overwhelming, when we feel hopeless, alone, and rejected, we can remember Jesus felt this way too.  His answer was to get alone with God. Our answer is the same, not do more to numb ourselves from the pain, but to stop completely, to be still, and to reconnect with the presence of the Holy One. He is our rest and our refreshment. He is our peace and our joy and He wants nothing more from us than to make time to be with Him so that He can wrap us in his outstretched arms of love us and reveal himself to us once again.

For Reflection 
God loves us so very much that He sent his only Son, Jesus, to be born in a manger, to bring us the true gifts this world so desperately needs: hope, peace, joy and love. So I ask you, friend, will you pause to experience the presence of the Holy One this season? Will you make this holiday a little more peaceful and a little less stressful on yourself? It can be done, truly. It is simply a choice. And it starts with remembering that you are surrounded by Love.

If you enjoyed this and would like to join our community to receive my weekly posts enter your email in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Wishing you a most blessed, peaceful and joyful Christmas!

Until next time, remember to keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

7 Tips to Keep You Jolly This Season

How is your Advent going this year? Are you feeling less than joyful? Too many demands and not enough of you to go round? I think most of us feel this way at year end with so many tasks to attend to, deadlines, ya da ya da. In this week's post I'm sharing some tips on how to keep our joy despite the frenzy of activity going on. 

At this time of year, it is easy to get overly committed, overly tired, and overly stressed but we don't have to allow these things to get to us. So today, I am offering some tips on how to maintain our joy during this hectic December season.  

Choose Your Focus 

So many things to distract us - from healthcare decisions, to financial decisions, to gift-giving decisions. Like Santa's, our list seems endless. The key is FOCUS.

To reset my focus, I use the Advent wreath. As we get closer to Christmas, I light the pink candle. Besides being one of my favorite colors, pink signifies joy and unconditional love. I have a rose quartz pendant I often wear to remind me I am loved unconditionally, even when I sometimes don't feel it so this week I am sharing my tips on how to maintain joy when it seems circumstances are conspiring to steal it from us. 

Despite our circumstances, it is possible to maintain our joy, because joy is both a gift and a choice.

Be Conscious
Whatever comes up in a day, we have to ask ourselves "Is this worth losing my joy over?" The answer is always NO. Joy is what makes us feel alive, energetic, and productive. Without joy, we are like robots, going about our daily business on auto-pilot. We are not motivated to pursue our destinies or our dreams. Think of Ebenezer Scrooge. Now there was a man with no joy. Until he found Christmas.  You can tell if someone has joy just by looking at their face and who wants to live like that?

So here are some tips and reminders to help us all keep our joy this season.

1. Take care of your health. 
Nothing stinks like getting sick, especially around the holidays, so take extra precautions this time of year. Get enough sleep. Drink enough water. Wash your hands. Put on a humidifier to moisten the dry air and keep headaches and coughs at bay. Watch the sugar intake as sugar weakens our immune system making us more susceptible to winter colds and other viruses. 

2. Cut back on activities. 
There are enough extra things to do this time of year: decorating, cooking, baking, shopping, home maintenance and cleaning that are enough to overload anyone. I say NO to anything not Christmas-related. It can all wait till the new year. I say NO to extra commitments as I know what I need to do and I also know stuff always takes more time - and ENERGY - than I anticipate - waiting in lines, going back to the grocery store, finding that special gift, mailing gifts, writing Christmas cards. The list is endless so trim, trim, trim and I don't mean the tree. 

3. Take the pressure off. 
This is a new one for me. I have a habit of pushing myself to get it all done. Well, guess what goes out the window when we pressure ourselves? That's right - JOY! So these days, whenever I start feeling pressured, I stop and ask myself "What can I eliminate right now?" Just taking one thing off our to-do list can make an immediate difference and release the pressure valve. 

4. Lighten up.
Put on something funny to make you and others laugh. I was in the parking lot at Kohl's the other day and this Hindu woman was smiling at me. I wondered why she was beaming at me and then I remembered the Christmas gift box earrings I was wearing. A simple thing like playful earrings can make someone smile. I have also been known to wear antlers and a Rudolph nose in public this time of the year, much to the chagrin of my two sons. Do something light-hearted to feel more child-like and bring joy to others.  

5. Ask yourself what is really important.
It's easy to get stressed about over-cooked cookies, or putting on a few pounds, or the Christmas lights not working. When we snap at little things, there is usually something else going on below the surface. Make time to figure out what is really bothering you. In the big scheme of things though, how important are they? Are they worth losing your peace and joy over? We have to make a deliberate conscious choice to stay joyful and not sweat the little things. If we're not careful, we'll be snapping at loved ones and then feeling guilty later. Keep a pulse on your stress level at all times.  

6. Remember God is still with you. 
As I gaze upon the soft glow of the pink candle, I am reminded that no matter what is going on around me or in me physically, God is still with me. Emmanuel means "God with us".  No matter what has happened, God still loves you and me. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. No matter what is in upheaval or crisis, Jesus brings us peace. I'm learning to hand more things over to Him and give myself the gift of more peace. 

One of my favorite Scriptures verses says this: "Be still and know that I am God". (Ps. 46:10). He will take care of everything that concerns me in His perfect timing and I can trust that things will all work out for my good. Now that is something to be joyful about!

7. Be a blessing. 
Instead of focusing on our problems, what is missing in our lives, and all the ills of society, my suggestion is to do something good. Yup! Be a blessing. I make bags of cookies or biscotti and give them to neighbors and friends. I buy Christmas presents for children whose parents can't. A christmas card is another easy thing to do to bring a smile to someone's face. One year I did an email card with a photo I took of the Cathedral of Chartres I took when I visited France reminding me of the grace and mercy of God. 

When we put our attention on being a blessing, we don't have time for self-pity.  Many people have it so much worse than we do. Remember it is better to give than to receive. Give more and watch your joy meter rise! 

For Reflection
If you are struggling with the busyness and stress of this season, and feel less than joyful, take a few moments to light a candle of your own. Breathe, relax, and let the tension drain from your mind and body. Perhaps read your favorite sacred text or a passage or two of scripture to refocus your thoughts and connect with the Holy Spirit. The book of Psalms or the Christmas story in the Book of John are two good places to start.

Notice how different you feel. How much lighter. Go ahead and relax. Smile, and let your joy be contagious! They say a smile is the greatest gift we can give to someone and it's free!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter your email in the box provided. I'll also send you out a copy of my fee e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to read or give to a friend. 

And I am excited to share my newest bbook "Take Back Your Life: 5 Keys to Reclaiming Your Personal Power" is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order your copy today get one for a friend and start the New Year off EMPOWERED!

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you find healing, wholeness, and harmony and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, choose joy and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

This material is copyrighted. No portion of this material may be copied, reproduced or reprinted without acknowledgment of the author. 

Faith, Your Brain, and Increasing Joy

It's Thanksgiving week and we have much to be thankful for, despite the difficult few years it has been for all of us. I want to remind us that it is in these difficult times that what we believe - our worldview - is crucial to how we get through the tough times and how we will emerge. Stressed out? Depressed and anxious? Dwelling on the negative? Or will we instead look for the silver lining in every difficult situation? Learn the lesson that is before us? I have learned that there is a gift in every circumstance, good or bad. We all have our lot in life and the choice of what to focus on is ours. 

Brain Science and Psychology 

I find an interesting correlation between psychology, brain science, and what the Bible teaches. Brain science is evolving and we are learning that we do, in fact, have some control over how we perceive the world. It has to do with what types of thoughts we think on a daily basis. And this is exactly what the Bible teaches, "think on things that are lovely,  pure, noble, excellent of good report". (Phil 4:8 - 9). 

Currently reading "Hardwiring Happiness" by neuropsychologist and best selling author, Rick Hanson, PhD, and the gist of his whole book is to focus on the good, to take it in, and absorb it more. This is because the human brain is hard-wired since caveman times to focus on the negatives since it was a matter of survival. With each thought we train our brains to be more either more positive or more negative. With every negative thought, we are programming our brains to continue to see and focus on the negative. But there is another way that has been written about for over 2,000 years. 

The Faith Component 

The key to positive outcomes in our lives is not simply based on our thoughts or our intentions, but also by utilizing the power of FAITH - believing in and trusting in a supernatural, all-powerful being who is able to move the mountains we cannot move. We've all encountered situations that are beyond our abilities to conquer and this is where the power of FAITH comes in. 

Faith and the belief in a loving and caring God gives us strength to persevere and carry on no matter how bad things seem at the time. Faith is both a gift and a choice and it is in the tough times that our faith is tested. It is in times of trials that we need something greater than ourselves to put our hopes in. I am a living testimony of how Faith can bring us out of even the worst of storms. 

Personal Story 

Read my inspiring true story of being raised in a dysfunctional family, leaving an emotionally damaging marriage, an ugly divorce, financial ruin and then raising two wounded kids and watching them struggle with addictions and overcoming all of it by the power of Faith.  "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness and harmony"  will encourage and inspire you. Learn how I was transformed from a shy, timid, anxious girl to a woman of faith, confidence, and strength all by the power and grace of God. 

What do you put your hope in, friend? Your job? Your family? Your health? Your 401k? Your smarts? All of these can disappear in an instant  - just look at the story of Job - but faith in God is constant and eternal because God is constant and eternal. 

In fact, Scripture says God rewards those who seek him. Did you get that? REWARDS! I'm up for that. How about you? 

See the Good. 

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong with our life or our world, try focusing on what's right with it. I don't mean being a polyanna because we do need to know what is going on in the world, but we don't have to absorb it or talk about it 24 - 7. Often we take for granted the many gifts we have been blessed with: gifts of freedom, of sight, our abilities to walk, run, cook, dance, be with loved ones and friends, travel and enjoy our children and grand-children. These are all gifts from God. One thing I hope the pandemic taught us was to appreciate all of these more and not take life for granted. 

Let's also remember the Pilgrims who left bondage in England and courageously ventured across the ocean to come to a strange new land and start life afresh and anew. 

Let us do that this season. Let us leave behind us any bondage that keeps us from moving forward and enjoying a life of abundance, peace, and joy. Let us dream a new dream and leave behind any negativity and instead embrace faith, hope, and love. 

Thankful for YOU!

I am thankful for each of you reading and commenting on my blog posts. I am thankful for the gift of faith and the opportunity to write this blog as a way of encouraging and inspiring others. We are all on a journey and I am grateful that you have chosen to travel this journey with me.

Look around you this morning. What do you see? I see the glorious colors of the fall leaves, the sunshine streaming thru my windows, I feel the quiet presence of the Lord after another busy week. The whistle of my new dryer telling me my clothes are dry. The sound of the heat coming from my furnace to keep me warm. Many people struggle simply trying to obtain the basics. I bet if you look around you will notice the same types of things. Truly God is gracious to us!

Let's also make time to reach out, encourage, and bless some who is less fortunate. Donate to a food bank. Take food to an ailing neighbor. Invite a single person over for dinner. We are blessed to be a blessing.

For Reflection
What can you be thankful for this season? What can you do to be a blessing to someone else? Won't you take time today to offer up praise to God, the giver of all good gifts? 1 Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to give thanks. "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

I wish you and yours a healthy, happy, and harmonious Thanksgiving so until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Twas the Month of December

Twas the month of December and all through the house, the women were hurrying and bustling about. There is shopping, and cooking and decorating the tree. Oh, my goodness, will I ever have time for me?

Tis the season to be jolly it is said, but with these extra activities, I just plop into bed. So much to be done, so little time left. Visions of gifts and deadlines swirl in my head.

But what to my wondering eyes should appear, but an angel of peace beckoning me near. "Come now, my child, sit at my feet. Dwelling in His presence is so very sweet. Do not be afraid, all will get done for God has sent you his own precious Son."

The true gifts of Christmas are hope, peace and joy, the angels proclaimed to the shepherd boy. Let me be like Mary, so calm and so mild. Her focus instead on the new born Christ child.

O Lord, forgive me I am such a sheep. I pray for my family in your protection to keep. It's not the glitter or the red velvet bows, but the peace and love within my spirit where his glory shows.

Enjoy this season. Take time to relax and have fun. God loves us so much He gave us His Son.

May the true gifts of Christmas be with you today and all through the New Year.

If you enjoyed my Christmas poem and would like to receive my weekly posts please enter your email address in the box provided. I'll also send you out a copy of my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to read or share with a friend. 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom so you can ignite YOUR destiny!

Until next time, cherish the true gifts of Christmas and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

7 Tips for Minimizing Holiday Stress

The holidays can be draining. Can I get an amen? From the endless stream of invitations, parties, and family squabbles, the holidays are definitely a high-demand period. If we're not careful, we will end up exhausted and depleted making us prime target for the winter flu and cold bug.

As each year has come and gone, I have made small but significant changes to stay happy, healthy, and at peace into the New Year. Today, I am sharing some of the tips I have implemented to help reduce the stress of the holidays and dealing with all the people during this busy season. I hope they will resonate with you as well. 

Tip #1: Choose activities carefully. 
Sometimes we can get in the habit of doing the same thing year after year after year. It becomes routine and loses it's joy. When this happens, it is time to let that activity go to make space for something new. There are so many delightful events this time of year, why be bored by the same old thing? Here are some ideas we've tried and enjoyed:
      - find a local church and attend their musical holiday production

      - get tickets to the Nutcracker and enjoy the dancing and music of Tchaikovsky

      - take in a performance at the Mormon Temple in Washington, DC
      - drive or walk thru the lights at 34th Street in Hampden. 
   
There are so many invites I give thought before making a commitment. I don't say "yes" right off the bat without considering what else is going on. For example, I typically say no to anything that is not Christmas-related during the month of December. I want to give my time and energy to celebrating the season. I have the entire rest of the year to do other things. I also want to pick the best activities, not just any activity to fill up the calendar.

Tip #2: Minimize exposure to energy-suckers. 
These people often seem pleasant enough at first. Then you begin to see the signs.
They chatter incessantly.
They are drama queens.
They thrive on relating negative stories from the past.
They are emotionally reactive and easily offended.
They like to be the center of attention.

When I encounter one of these types of people, I run. Energy-suckers can be male or female, friend or family, so be on guard. If you get home and realize you are drained, you probably were in the presence of an energy-sucker.

Tip #3: Maintain a regular exercise routine. 
I know the holidays are extra busy and time is limited but do not neglect a short workout of some sort. When it's too chilly to walk outside, I take a brisk walk in the hallways of my complex. Even a short walk can defuse stress and help clear the mind. Go for a run if your joints can take it. Take a different group exercise class. Lots of fitness places offer discounts this time of year so take advantage. Just be sure to wash your hands when you get home.

Tip #4:  Don't overcommit. 
It's so tempting to say "yes" to every invite, every party, and every get-together. The problem is most commitments take more time and energy than we estimate. If we are bringing a food item or a gift this all takes time. Women have to figure out what to wear, do the nails, hair, etc. I used to do back-to-back activities and I was proud of it, believe it or not. Then I learned. It's too much. 

There are always extra factors that add to the stress of an activity such as traffic, parking, cold weather, people missing their flight, etc. Allow extra time for any given activity. This is called "margin" and is useful in everyday life. Don't be like I was, trying to pack so much into any given day. Slow down, enjoy the event and the time with friends and family and allow yourself enough time to breathe.

Tip #5: Make time for solitude. 
This is a personal biggy. I need a lot of downtime! After a long day of people, I need to be by myself. People wear me out. It is important to quiet our minds and just be with ourselves. We can curl up in a favorite chair with a book, take a hot bath, or just turn off the phone and the tv and enjoy a quiet house. It is a gift we give to ourselves. If you're not comfortable being alone, give it a try for maybe just a half an hour. You'll be surprised how good you will feel when you disconnect and slow down your thoughts. 

Tip #6: Shop Early 
Don't procrastinate and wait till the last minute to get your shopping done. This only adds more stress to life by doing so. Beat the crowds, the lines and the franticness by shopping early and getting it out of the way. Make your list of who you need to buy for and spread it out. Shopping is exhausting so don't try to do it all in one day. Pace. 

Tip#7: Simplify 
This tip applies to life in general, but is even more crucial at the holidays. You don't have to compete with your friends and neighbors. Everything doesn't have to be Hallmark picture perfect, because perfection causes stress. Ask yourself "Is this worth the stress?".  Cut back on the number of  gifts you buy. Simplify your holiday meals. Keeping it simple allows you more time to enjoy the holidays.

These are seven of my holiday tips on how not to end up exhausted by the New Year. Give them a try and write and let me know what tips you use to stay balanced and at peace.

If you liked this post, do sign up for my weekly posts. Just enter your email in the box provided. I'll also send you a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" for yourself or someone else. 

Stay tuned for more tips on how to keep your focus and enjoy this delightful and blessed month. 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Stay Jolly During the Holidays

The holidays are here and for many it's a time of family, friends, food and fun. But not everyone's life is picture perfect. Not every family gets along. We never know what is going on behind someone's happy facade. One thing that can steal our joy at this time of year is holding on to negative emotions which are fueled by negative thoughts. Anger, resentment, bitterness and hostility can all steal our peace and joy so today I'm sharing on what I have learned about letting go of negative emotions and staying joyful during the holidays and all through the year.

1. Acknowledge our feelings - both positive and negative.
Most of us know when we are feeling good, but many times we ignore or hide the fact that we are feeling angry, upset, anxious, frustrated, sad, lonely, etc. I have a sticky note on my desk that says "How am I feeling?" to remind me to check in with my feelings on a regular basis. After years of being told I was "too sensitive" I learned to bury my feelings which is both destructive and unhealthy as they will come to the surface sooner or later and in the meantime cause us to act out in ways such as overeating, overdrinking, overspending, overreacting, and various other excessive behaviors.

Many times we don't even realize what we are thinking about. Or worse, we project our negative feelings onto an innocent bystander. A simple question might provoke an angry response for no apparent reason. When you respond inappropriately, stop and ask yourself what is really going on.

2.  Identify the root cause.
When we acknowledge we are mad, stressed, sad, frustrated or whatever, we need to figure out the root cause - immediately. What thoughts are we thinking? Don't be too quick to place blame on someone else. We each are responsible for our feelings. "You made me mad..." is a blame tactic. What is it that mad you mad and why? Usually the answer is something deeper such as not feeling respected, heard, appreciated, or understood. Sometimes the cause is as simple as being overly tired or hungry. Remember the acronym HALT and try not to let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. These condtions are a sure setup for trouble.

3. Talk it out. 
 The best solution I have found is to try and talk it out with the other person, if another person is involved. Text messaging or emails are not appropriate when dealing with emotional issues. No sense giving someone the silent treatment or taking the passive aggressive route. These only further escalate the tension. Take some time to calm down. Walk away from a tense situation if you feel overwhelmed and unable to control yourself emotionally. Go for a walk and get some fresh air. Nothing good comes out of trying to discuss when you are heated. The emotional part of the brain has already taken over the logical. Agree to set a time to discuss when both parties are calm and thinking clearly and not emotionally.

If the other party is not willing to discuss, then craft a carefully thought out email to express your feelings. You have to get them out or they will devour you. You can then decide whether or not you want to send the email. Be sure to use "I feel when you" statements and stick to YOUR feelings rather than attacking or blaming the other person, which is ineffective at best. We are each responsible for our part in any conflict. For more on "I feel" statements, check out this article. Communication done in a proper way is a loving attempt to reach understanding and common ground.

4. Refuse to dwell on what happened. 
Our thoughts fuel our feelings. When we think negative thoughts, we feel negative and vice versa.

Catch yourself thinking. Scripture exhorts us to "Take every thought captive." (2 Cor 10:5). There is always another way to look at things. Dwelling on what someone said or did to us only prolongs the pain. After you have expressed your feelings, let them go. The situation is in God's hands and you have done all you can. Work on regaining your peace and joy and making the necessary changes you need to make.

If your attempts to communicate with the other person have not resulted in a change in behavior, it may be time to take a break in the relationship. This doesn't mean a permanent rift, but a time of separation can give each party time to reevaluate and reprioritize. We need to work to live in peace and if we can't live in peace then we have to go our separate ways.

Life is too short to stay mad at anyone. If we want to live in peace and joy daily, we must make an effort to do so.

I hope this post has given you some ways to process your negative emotions and deal with conflict in your relationships. We all have them and it is perfectly normal but they must be managed in a healthy productive manner. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts plus a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help us all find healing, wholeness, and harmony and until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Where to Find Hope at the Holidays

The holidays are upon us and with them come a mixed bag of emotions, fun, stress, drama and anticipation. Perhaps like me, you have lost someone or something you value this year. It may have been a parent, a home, a job, a son or daughter or a relationship. The holidays will not be the same this year, you may be thinking to yourself.

But are they ever the same? A lot changes in the course of a year, doesn't it? Friends get married. Others get divorced. Babies are born. Loved ones die. Old friends move away. New friends come into our lives. Things rarely stay exactly the same as the year before.  Life changes and that is a good thing. The certainty of change means there is always hope.

As the season of Advent begins, the focus for this week is Hope. It is the first gift of Christmas.
It is a time to reflect back on the year and ask ourselves what can we do differently next year to improve our lives, to live closer to God, and to walk more in love. Each of us is on our own path and we each have different lessons to to learn, but learn them we must, if we want to move forward into a more peaceful and abundant life.

We may need to let go of unforgiveness or bitterness; be more grateful, generous, less self-centered. We may need to laugh more and stress less; surrender more and control less, trust more, and fear less. We are on the potter's wheel. In other words, God is molding us into His likeness and He uses the circumstances of life to change us. In every trial, there is a hidden treasure in the form of a lesson to be gleaned and applied to our lives.

Whatever changes have happened in your life this year, fret not. God can and will work it all out for your good. It is all a matter of trust and timing.
 
Where is your hope this season?  Is it in your job? Your relationships? Your family? Your bank account? People and things are subject to change in the blink of an eye. Rather, I choose to put my hope in the dependable and unchanging person of the Lord Jesus Christ. Whatever changes are going on in my life, I know I can stay steady because I hold on to Him. When others abandon us, Jesus promises to never leave us or forsake us. When finances are tight, Jesus promises to provide for all our needs. When we are stressed and anxious, Jesus promises us his peace. Who else can make and keep these promises?

This Advent season, I encourage you to put your hope in the Lord. No matter what changes you may have experienced this year, God's grace will be sufficient for you. Allow Him to change you. Be a prisoner of hope and see God give you double for your trouble. (Zech. 9:12)

If this post has encouraged and you'd like to receive my bi-weekly posts plus my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email in the box provided and do pass it on to your friends. Someone you know may need a little hope this season.

Until next week, stay tuned for more on healing, wholeness, and harmony and as always, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Deal With Drama at the Holidays

Don't you just wish, for once, holidays could be drama-free? Do you think it is ever possible? I think there have been years - occasionally- when the holidays have been peaceful, but whenever people come in and out of our lives like a merry-go-round, there's bound to be drama. It takes time and patience to learn how to get along with others and how to make holidays enjoyable for all. I guess I should just resolve myself to the fact that no matter how much I strive for peace and to get along with everyone, it just is not always possible.

Everybody has stressors. Some we know about. Some we don't.  I think it is pretty safe to say that most people are not advertising everything that is stressful in their lives. I've realized I'm not even aware of everything that is stressing me on any given day, so I keep a journal and list everything that is bothering me. It really helps to be aware of what is impacting me so I can adjust accordingly. We just never know what someone is dealing with but it does seem that holidays, for whatever reason, tends to be more stressful.

I guess that's why people go to the beach or take a vacation to avoid dealing with any of it and I can't say that I blame them. You gotta do what you gotta do. But I think the issues that arise over some holidays are issues that need to be dealt with, and not run away from. The holidays have a way of bringing stuff to the forefront, kind of like saying "Deal with me. Deal with me."

We all have baggage of some sort, I don't care how young or old you are. Now I am not a psychologist, but I do notice patterns in people's behavior, especially my own. For example, I don't like to be an after-thought. Reminds me of the way my ex used to treat me. I was always last on his priority list. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now. I think it probably stems for some sort of left-over rejection from having an alcoholic for a father who was always in his own world and too bombed to pay any attention to his daughter. If you had an emotionally absent parent, you understand what I'm talking about. A parent's job is to make their children feel loved, secure, and valued. Nonetheless, this is part of what any love relationship is about - helping to heal the other person through love.

Any time I start feeling like this, I get angry. No longer do I "suck it up" or pretend it doesn't bother me. Now I say something sooner rather than later. Experts say the best way to share these feelings is by using an "I feel" sentence. I've also learned that expressing my hurt feelings will most likely cause a problem because most people, except for my youngest son bless his heart, don't know how to handle confrontation in a safe, healthy, and mature manner.

They either:

a) get defensive

b) give me an excuse

c) raise their voice

Usually all three. None of which are healthy and productive to the resolution of the problem . These behaviors cause distance and alienation rather than connection and healing. A better response would go something like this:

"Gee, I'm sorry you felt...... I didn't mean to cause you pain. I will try better in the future to...." 

This kind of response shows accountability and responsibility and more importantly, compassion, which is what we want from our close friends and loved ones. Sadly, many people are not at a level of maturity to be able to respond this way, which of course, is out of our control. So what to do in these kinds of situations?

1. Do not get riled up yourself. Exercise self-control or withdraw from the conversation. 

2. Have compassion for the other party and for yourself. We are all on our own journey. 

3. Say what you have to say, kindly and calmly, but don't count on the other person being able to receive it properly. Sometimes I do this through email to avoid a hostile reaction.

4. Pray for the relationship and for God to bring clarity and understanding to both parties.
5. Own your part of the problem and decide what YOU can do differently. As my oldest son says, it takes two to tango.

Once I have said what I have to say, I give it to God, regardless of the reaction of the other person. The key is to not hold onto the resentment, rejection, or negative feeling. We have to get it out. Holding negative emotions in causes physical and mental stress which lowers our immune system and makes us more likely to get sick. Typically, I get a migraine from ruminating about the situation but everyone reacts differently. 

I hope this post has been helpful. I write from my personal experiences and I know many of you struggle with the same sorts of issues. Your feedback is always welcome. If you'd like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts plus a copy of my free eguide entitled " 7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more practical and positive wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR DESTINY!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Find Joy in the Tough Times

As I watch the recap of the events of this year, I realize how desperate the times have become. It can be depressing to watch too much of the news these days. Yet Christmas is upon us and once again we have the opportunity to receive the true gifts Christ came to bring: hope, peace, joy, and love. Despite the difficult circumstances of our lives, it is still possible to have joy when we know what it is and where to find it.

So many years ago, the angels proclaimed tidings of great joy at the birth of the baby Jesus. What is joy exactly? Have you ever thought about it? Is it the same as happiness? Many mistake joy and happiness for the same thing, but they are not.

At a Christmas party here at my complex a few years ago, I had quite a lively discussion with some neighbors about the differences between joy, happiness, and contentment. Seems folks have very different takes on what each of these are.

"I'm content", I commented.
"You mean you're settling," he said.
"No, I am content. At peace with my life."
"Well, I'd rather be happy," he said.
"Happiness depends on our circumstances and is temporary," I countered.
"Contentment is boring," he replied.
"What about joy?" I asked.
No answer.

I decided to take a poll at a nearby table and asked what everyone thought. The question precipitated quite a variety of answers.

Philosophers define happiness in terms of the good life. The Declaration of Independence says that "the pursuit of happiness" is an inalienable right. Happiness speaks to the external qualities of life such as health, wealth, & beauty. Happiness has to do with our feelings and like our feelings, happiness can change in an instant. It's easy to feel good when all is well, but what happens when our external circumstances change? Our finances take a nose dive? The doctor gives us bad news or a relationship blows up in our face? What then?

When circumstances are hard and happiness eludes you, consider the deeper gift of Joy.

Joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart that comes from knowing who God is and how much He loves you. Here is a good explanation of Joy.

It does not come from new clothes or jewelry, a new car,  relationships, or anything external. These things may make us happy for a while, but they do not bring us true joy. True Joy comes from connecting with the Spirit of God. When I am connected to God and my circumstances fail to provide me with the temporal happiness my flesh craves, Joy still pervades my soul and my spirit. Consider this verse from Ecclesiastes 2:26 :

"For to the one who pleases him God has given wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner he has given the business of gathering and collecting, only to give to one who pleases God."


Joy is a gift of God that Jesus came to bring us at this time of year. Jesus came to earth so that we may know God and that we may receive his gifts. Jesus is a choice we make.

Kay Warren, wife of Pastor Rick Warren, suffered the lost of their son through suicide. Talk about devastating circumstances. Here is what she has to say about joy.
http://www.christianpost.com/news/kay-warren-saddleback-church-co-founder-helps-christians-to-choose-joy-71725/

If your circumstances are less than perfect or the events of this world are getting you down this holiday season, do not despair. You can still find  joy.

If you are broken-hearted, sad, or grieving, you can still find joy.

If you are stressed out with all the demands of the season, relax. You can still find joy.

Christmas reminds us once again that God promises to always be with us, no matter where we are or what we are going through. Jesus' name "Emmanuel" means exactly that "God with us".

So today, if you have lost the joy in your life, I encourage you to find time to meet with the Giver of Joy and get to know the Christ-child, Jesus, this season. He will fill you will an unexplicable joy that never changes.

If you enjoyed this post and you'd like to receive my bi-weekly posts, please enter your name in the email box provided. I'll also send you out a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to help you along your way. 

Until next time, Merry Christmas and as always, keep looking up!

Ariel

Making Time for What Really Matters

It's a busy season, for sure. Kids are back in school. Holidays are on the way and the pace of work picks up to an end of year crescendo.

As I sit here listening to romantic french music and enjoying a candlelight dinner, it occurs to me that cooking a nice meal at home on a weeknight no less, matters. Going to my yoga class, when I really didn't feel like it - matters. Taking time to talk to a friend in need today even though I was swamped at work - matters.

It's called making time to nourish my spirit, my body and my relationships.

I have learned when things are the most hectic, that is when I need to listen to that gentle inner voice; the voice that whispers "Slow down, be kind to yourself. Relax". For too many years as a single parent, I ignored that voice and pushed myself to exhaustion. I had to.

But not anymore. What about you friend? Are you pushing yourself to finish the next thing on your to-do list? Are you totally exhausted by the time friday comes around? If so, then I would say it's time to reevaluate.

Make some time to reflect on what really matters to you: where and how do you feel most content, relaxed and at peace? These are good questions to ask ourselves from time to time. It's so easy to get caught up in the rat race, as some put it. I hope this post has encouraged you to do as my son says "Smell the roses".
Until next time, keep the faith, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Holiday Busyness

It is November and the holidays are fast approaching. Planning the Thanksgiving menu, Xmas gift list, and deciding on which activities to say yes or no to. I am starting to feel that pressure; you know the "too much to do" pressure. I know I am not alone in this and I am determined to not let it get to me this year.

Which means, some things have to change. But first, and more importantly is understanding where this feeling is coming from. Is it perhaps from some fear of "doing everything right" which is closely related to that P word - perfectionism? I wonder. I don't consider myself a perfectionist but I do like to do the best I can at whatever I do. Is this a problem? Perhaps.

When I start to have too many things on my mind so that I feel stressed and pressured, maybe I need to ask myself that question "What would Jesus do?" Would He want me feeling stressed and pressured by a never ending To Do List? I think not. Jesus came to save us from ourselves and our constant feelings on inadequacy by showing us how much He loves us by dying on the cross, right?

There is nothing I can do to be more loved by Him or anyone else for that matter. I think my sons would rather have a healthy calm mom and fewer presents under the tree, than a mother who gets stressed out, don't you think? Of course, I am not minimizing the fact that there is a lot more to do around the holidays and the brunt of the work does fall on the woman of the house, but being the woman, I need to take charge of what I do and don't do. And replace the pressure I feel with a sense of peace and serenity, knowing and trusting that God will work everything out just as it is supposed to be.

Next time, I'll talk about what I am going to change this season and share practical tips on what to do to avoid holiday stress. Until then, keep calm and keep looking up!