4 Practical Ways to Have More Joy

There's a lot going on in our lives and in the world that can steal our peace and our joy, like family, work, health issues, the economy, you name it. There is, however, one thing we can do to stay positive and that is what we will talk about in this week's post. But first let's take a look at the brain. 

The Brain's Negativity Bias 

Did you know our brains have a bias for negativity? This means we naturally pay more attention to negative thoughts, emotions, and events. We bring up the negative past. We worry about "what could happen" in the future. We dredge up unhappy past events and relive them in the present moment stealing our joy and our peace yet again. This bias explains why news coverage is predominantly negative. The media uses this psychological tendency to grasp and focus our attention. It's like a sabotage of our minds and we need to be on guard against it. 

What to Do

Now I am not saying ignore the events of the world or don't watch the news, although some people choose to do just that. What I am saying is that we must realize the impact of the world and the media on our thoughts, emotions and actions. This all means we have to make a conscious effort to keep a positive mental attitude. It is another area where mindfulness can serve us. For a better understanding of how the brain works, some examples of negative bias, and some interesting TEDTalks, check out this link. 

The good news is there are some things we can do to fight against this overwhelming negativity to keep our peace and our joy.

                                    

                                    

                                

Here are 4 tips to help you develop an attitude of gratitude:

1. Appreciate the Every Day Stuff 

Often we take for granted so many things like being able to go out to dinner with friends or family, our water supply, full grocery aisles, our sight, our health, our bodies, even our jobs. My hope is that the pandemic helped us all become more grateful for the every day stuff we usually take for granted. 

I did a guided gratitude meditation this morning and it was so uplifting. The leader reminded us to be grateful for our food and the people who grow it, for our grocery stores, for all the people who work to support us in life. 

Personally

I am thankful that the sun was shining through my windows when I woke up this morning. I am thankful my body is feeling good enough to get back to Pilates classes. I am thankful I am able to write these blog posts so I can be of service to others.

I am thankful for the ability to cook and make nice meals. (Shameless plug for my Mediterranean cookbook :) I am thankful I could afford to replace my 20+ year old HVAC system this week. I am thankful my son moved back to Maryland after 12 years in Texas. Are there tough things in life? For sure. But the trick is what we focus on. 

2. Start a Gratitude Tradition 

There are many ways to become more conscious of our blessings. One is gratitude traditions. 

A tradition I started at my house many years ago was to put out a small basket with a pad of paper and a pen next to it on the first of November. The basket is known as the "Blessing Basket". Each day in the month of November, each member of the household and whoever comes into my home that day is asked to write down one thing for which they are grateful for and put it in the basket. I like to see how people have to stop and think before they find something to write down. 

It can be anything, but the idea is to become more aware of the many blessings we each have on a daily basis. Then on Thanksgiving Day, we read all the slips of paper. They are anonymous of course, but it makes us realize how truly we are blessed despite the challenges we are all going through. 

In our house, there are always one or two blessings that make everyone laugh. One year, my youngest son wrote "I am thankful for pressure or I wouldn't get anything done." Now there's a different perspective. 

                        
                   

3. Appreciate Others
Everyone wants to be appreciated and valued. Too often we take people for granted - our parents, our spouse, our friends, the people who serve us. Take time to tell someone how much you appreciate them today. Make someone feel valued. Thank people for the little things. When we are thankful, we show God we appreciate the blessings and people we have been given and we open the door for more abundance to flow to us. 

A simple complement may turn someone's day around. We never know what people are going through. I make a habit of complementing men on their ties or shirt. I notice when someone has been working out or got a new haircut. I complement women on their hair, their outfit, their nails. I thank the customer service rep no matter if they have been helpful or not. I try to give a bigger tip than is required. When I see a smile on someone's face, I know I have been successful in lifting them up and that increases not only their joy level, but mine as well.  

My latest thing is to not leave someone upset or down. This is not an easy thing to do especially when they or a situation has caused me a lot of aggravation but what good is it to leave someone on a bad note? If the conversation goes south or if I have to bring up a sensitive subject, I try to add an upnote by thanking them, making a joke, or somehow turning to a more positive topic. I get off the phone feeling good about myself as a human being who has not caused another human being to suffer. 

4. Recognize Your Blessings 
It's easy to take people and things for granted. We get used to having them around, having food in the grocery store aisles, being free to travel, but when a crisis such as the pandemic or some other crisis hits, it gets our attention. As in the case of the pandemic, we no longer had the ability or the freedom to get together with family, travel, or find full grocery aisles.  Let's not forget the lesson that crisis taught us. 

These days we are fighting inflation and speaking of groceries, everything has gone up, including gas, eggs, rent, and the price of a haircut. Life has its challenges, that is for sure and it is up to us to decide what we will focus on - the positives or the negatives. If we want to remain joyful, we will choose the former. 

It is a choice we have every moment of every day. Abraham Lincoln once said "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

Most of all, I am thankful for the love, grace, and constant mercy of God. He has brought me through so much and so I am devoting the rest of my life to sharing that love, grace, and mercy with you through this blog and writing books. 

For Reflection

What everyday things are you thankful for? By taking note of them on a daily basis, we train our brains and our neural pathways slowly but surely to dwell more on our blessings instead of our woes. A positive focus also helps alleviate anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Remember - what you focus on gets magnified. 

If you want to feel more joy on a daily basis, here are some tips to help you get started. Every night before going to bed, name 3 things you are grateful for. I say them out loud or write them in my journal. Gratitude increases your energy and your joy so start and end each day by giving thanks for something or someone in your life. 

When we learn to develop an "attitude of gratitude", our outlook on life changes and we are better able to handle the difficult circumstances of life when they arise. This is why the Apostle Paul encourages us "In all things, give thanks" (1 Thess 5:18). There is always a silver lining to life's challenges. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided to the right. You will also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  Also, check out my newest ebook, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth". In it I share ten steps that will help you grow spiritually, become more mindful, and have more peace and joy. Do leave a review when you're done and pass it on to a friend. 

Until next time, remember: you are blessed to be a blessing.

As always,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

This material is copyrighted. 

Faith, Your Brain, and Increasing Joy

It's Thanksgiving week and we have much to be thankful for, despite the difficult few years it has been for all of us. I want to remind us that it is in these difficult times that what we believe - our worldview - is crucial to how we get through the tough times and how we will emerge. Stressed out? Depressed and anxious? Dwelling on the negative? Or will we instead look for the silver lining in every difficult situation? Learn the lesson that is before us? I have learned that there is a gift in every circumstance, good or bad. We all have our lot in life and the choice of what to focus on is ours. 

Brain Science and Psychology 

I find an interesting correlation between psychology, brain science, and what the Bible teaches. Brain science is evolving and we are learning that we do, in fact, have some control over how we perceive the world. It has to do with what types of thoughts we think on a daily basis. And this is exactly what the Bible teaches, "think on things that are lovely,  pure, noble, excellent of good report". (Phil 4:8 - 9). 

Currently reading "Hardwiring Happiness" by neuropsychologist and best selling author, Rick Hanson, PhD, and the gist of his whole book is to focus on the good, to take it in, and absorb it more. This is because the human brain is hard-wired since caveman times to focus on the negatives since it was a matter of survival. With each thought we train our brains to be more either more positive or more negative. With every negative thought, we are programming our brains to continue to see and focus on the negative. But there is another way that has been written about for over 2,000 years. 

The Faith Component 

The key to positive outcomes in our lives is not simply based on our thoughts or our intentions, but also by utilizing the power of FAITH - believing in and trusting in a supernatural, all-powerful being who is able to move the mountains we cannot move. We've all encountered situations that are beyond our abilities to conquer and this is where the power of FAITH comes in. 

Faith and the belief in a loving and caring God gives us strength to persevere and carry on no matter how bad things seem at the time. Faith is both a gift and a choice and it is in the tough times that our faith is tested. It is in times of trials that we need something greater than ourselves to put our hopes in. I am a living testimony of how Faith can bring us out of even the worst of storms. 

Personal Story 

Read my inspiring true story of being raised in a dysfunctional family, leaving an emotionally damaging marriage, an ugly divorce, financial ruin and then raising two wounded kids and watching them struggle with addictions and overcoming all of it by the power of Faith.  "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness and harmony"  will encourage and inspire you. Learn how I was transformed from a shy, timid, anxious girl to a woman of faith, confidence, and strength all by the power and grace of God. 

What do you put your hope in, friend? Your job? Your family? Your health? Your 401k? Your smarts? All of these can disappear in an instant  - just look at the story of Job - but faith in God is constant and eternal because God is constant and eternal. 

In fact, Scripture says God rewards those who seek him. Did you get that? REWARDS! I'm up for that. How about you? 

See the Good. 

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong with our life or our world, try focusing on what's right with it. I don't mean being a polyanna because we do need to know what is going on in the world, but we don't have to absorb it or talk about it 24 - 7. Often we take for granted the many gifts we have been blessed with: gifts of freedom, of sight, our abilities to walk, run, cook, dance, be with loved ones and friends, travel and enjoy our children and grand-children. These are all gifts from God. One thing I hope the pandemic taught us was to appreciate all of these more and not take life for granted. 

Let's also remember the Pilgrims who left bondage in England and courageously ventured across the ocean to come to a strange new land and start life afresh and anew. 

Let us do that this season. Let us leave behind us any bondage that keeps us from moving forward and enjoying a life of abundance, peace, and joy. Let us dream a new dream and leave behind any negativity and instead embrace faith, hope, and love. 

Thankful for YOU!

I am thankful for each of you reading and commenting on my blog posts. I am thankful for the gift of faith and the opportunity to write this blog as a way of encouraging and inspiring others. We are all on a journey and I am grateful that you have chosen to travel this journey with me.

Look around you this morning. What do you see? I see the glorious colors of the fall leaves, the sunshine streaming thru my windows, I feel the quiet presence of the Lord after another busy week. The whistle of my new dryer telling me my clothes are dry. The sound of the heat coming from my furnace to keep me warm. Many people struggle simply trying to obtain the basics. I bet if you look around you will notice the same types of things. Truly God is gracious to us!

Let's also make time to reach out, encourage, and bless some who is less fortunate. Donate to a food bank. Take food to an ailing neighbor. Invite a single person over for dinner. We are blessed to be a blessing.

For Reflection
What can you be thankful for this season? What can you do to be a blessing to someone else? Won't you take time today to offer up praise to God, the giver of all good gifts? 1 Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to give thanks. "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

I wish you and yours a healthy, happy, and harmonious Thanksgiving so until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz