How to Live in Peace in an Anxious World

Peace. It's an elusive thing. Staying at peace is a challenge, no matter what season of life we are in or what is going on in the world. Responsibilities, family, world events, the stock market ups and downs, Covid, health issues. The list goes on and on. There is always something to rattle us, but believe it or not - staying in peace is a choice we make. 

The good news is there are things we can do and skills we can learn to help us keep our peace - or at least get it back quicker - despite unexpected and tumultuous circumstances outside of our control. Today's post is about what we can do to have more peace and stay centered despite what may be going on in our lives and in the world around us.

The Pull of the World 
The pull of the world and all it's distractions and problems as well as dealing with daily life and all our emotions can throw us off-center and make us feel stressed & anxious but that is not the way we are supposed to live. Jesus himself said "In this world, you will have tribulations, but take heart, for I have overcome the world." (John 16:33). Not much has changed except the types of tribulations we face today. 

Many people turn outward for temporary relief: to activities and other people, substances such as alcohol or food, or distractions but the real key to inner peace is to turn inward. As a busy single working mom, I learned that developing my spiritual life was key to being able to manage my busy and stressful personal, business, and social lives. 

Our Spiritual Lives 

We maintain our homes, cars, computers, and bodies, but what about our spiritual lives? Do we make time to nurture them? Like exercise, it is crucial to  healthy and well-balanced living as well as inner peace.  When we are spiritually grounded, we are more able to handle the stressful situations that come at us often out of the blue. 

Brother Lawrence was a Carmelite monk who lived in the 17th century. His famous book, "The Practice of the Presence of God" is a collection of letters and conversations on a simple and pure way to connect with God. Brother Lawrence lived in continual communication with God, no matter what he was doing and so can we. Give it a read sometime. 

In the same way that conversation is critical to maintaining human relationships, speaking to God is critical to maintaining our relationship with the Divine. Here are some things I do to help me stay connected and I know they will help you too:

1. Start the day with gratitude and prayer. 
Before I even get out of bed, I take a few deep calming breaths to center myself. Then I give thanks for the new day "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it," (Psalm 118:24) and ask God to direct my thoughts and my steps. I give thanks to God in advance for taking care of anything that is on my mind or that I will face that day. I say "thank you" for his help, protection, and guidance. This is what Faith is all about. Believing BEFORE you see. 

After I say my morning prayers, I feel strengthened and protected enough to get out of bed and start my day, ready to face it with confidence, strength, and joy. It's a mental habit I've established over the years and it works well. How we start our day determines how our day will go and how we will handle the challenges that arise. 

The tendency for many of us is to jump out of bed, grab our phones, and think about all our problems, to-dos, text messages, etc.  No wonder we want to hit the snooze button and pull the covers over our heads. The tasks of the day can feel overwhelming. Connecting with God helps to ground ourselves spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, before we tackle any of them. Don't go out without the full armor of God. 

By changing our morning thought patterns and behaviors, we reprogram our minds to focus on God's presence, provision and power in our lives FIRST. This brings us peace which ultimately gives us the strength and the courage to meet the challenges of the day.

2. Remember that God is in control, not us. 
A lot of anxiety comes from dwelling on things that are out of our control - world events, pandemics, the elections, the weather, what other people say or do. It is important to recognize the difference between what we can and cannot control. 

I had a conversation with my now-deceased mom about this. She had been so frustrated the past few years and I couldn't understand why. Then the light bulb went on. 

"I know what's going on, " I said. 

"Yeah, what?" Mom asked. 

"You're losing control of stuff and so you are trying to control other stuff to compensate. You're frustrated because you are trying to control situations that are out of your control."

"You're so smart," she snapped.

Taking a deep breath, I said "It's true. You can't control when they deliver your meals. You can't control when the repair guy will come to fix the leak. You're frustrated over things that are out of your control."

All of the sudden the tone of her voice completely changed. 

"You're right," she said meekly. 

"Ma, it's natural but we all have to learn to let go of control at some point. And the truth of the matter is, we really don't have control over very much at all." 

It was a breakthrough for both of us. For more on letting go of control, check out my newest book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth" available at your favorite online bookseller. 

Remember that nothing happens without God's permission and that God is working all things out for our good in the long run. I have to remind myself - all. Even the bee sting in the pool last summer. Lesson, watch where you are swimming. 

 

So much stress can be reduced by changing our perspective and learning to trust more and stress less. We never know what we will have to face in any given day, but we do know that God knows and that he will give us the grace - say Grace - to manage it calmly and confidently. But we have to do our part and cooperate. 

3. Take a breath break. 
This is a discipline I am trying to incorporate on a daily basis. Just sit down and breathe. Slowing down our breathing slows down our minds and bodies. It helps us to recalibrate. A technique I learned from Dr. Andrew Weil and others is the 4-7-8 breathing technique. It helps the parasympathetic system - the rest and digest system - activate. Try it next time you feel anxious or irritated.  

When I feel that "rat wheel" pull or feel anxious about some matter or situation,  I immediately start to pray or if I can, sit down and meditate too. 

I've also incorporated tapping (EFT) to handle difficult emotions and process what I am feeling in the moment instead of ignoring it or letting it overtake me at the end of the day or week. We need to process difficult emotions in the moment to try and get them out of our bodies. When we sit down to breathe, we bring our minds and our emotions back to stillness. When we tap, we energetically release the stress our bodies store. 

Just yesterday, my sister, her son, and I were having a phone conversation about travel plans. Her voice kept going up and up and finally I said "Let's just all take a deep breath." It made everyone laugh and broke the tension. 

4. The Pull of Busyness and the Concept of Margin

The pull of busyness puts pressure on us which can pull us into a maelstrom of anxiety, frustration, and impatience. Having too much to do can exhaust us so we don't have the patience or the energy to be the kind, loving, patient people we desire to be. One of my son's favorite phrases is "Less is more" and it is so true. 

We plan our days to the max, leaving little room for MARGIN. You know, like the space on the sides of a sheet of notebook paper. Margin makes space for stuff that takes longer, for something else to take precedence, for a mistake to be made, for somebody to forget something. 

As a single mom, I had the tendency to go go go because I always had so much on me and so little help, but then one day I realized I had to pace myself at work so I would have energy left to deal with my boys at the end of a hard work day. I didn't go out with the folks to happy hour. I drove straight home to pick up the kids from day-care before 6 pm to avoid extra fees. I prioritized time with my family over time at work. I know someone needs to hear this. Who or what do you need to reprioritize?

5. Talk to God During the Day.
This is something Brother Lawrence did all thru his day. We can talk to God anytime, anyplace. Really. We don't have to be in church, or in any other religious place. Connecting with your breath brings you into the presence of God.  

The problem is we rarely think about our breath because our heads are so preoccupied with everything else. It is a habit we can develop, just like talking to our spouse or significant other. I have learned to take a pause break after each activity, instead of rushing right from one thing to another on auto-pilot like I used to do.

I go for a walk, have a cup of tea, or just pause to breath and ask for direction. I ask God what should I do next and then I listen. 

Personal Story

Today, I went to the library to pick up some books, and then sat there in the car debating what to for lunch. Thai food? Chinese? Greek? With no clear answer, I headed home waiting for direction. As I was driving, I remembered the empanadas I had made and then I knew what I wanted for lunch. Home it was. We don't have to nor is it good to run on auto-pilot. Stop and think. What do I really want to do next? What does my body need right now?

When I feel the prick of unease, I listen. When I feel that still small voice warn me, I listen. We need to keep the lines of communication open so we can receive the guidance God is sending us. It could be for direction, protection, or decision-making, but we have to tune in. We have to have our antennas up!

6. Do something kind for someone else. 

When we take our minds off ourselves and our problems, this allows God to step in and assist. When we are constantly thinking about what is next on our agenda or worrying about stuff, God takes a seat and says "Go ahead. Knock yourself out". God wants to help us. Sometimes we just have to stop and go help somebody else.

One time when I was feeling frustrated dealing with two laptops that both had major problems, a faulty new dryer, some unknown stomach pains and software issues with OneDrive and Microsoft Office. What did I do? I picked up the phone and called my elderly mother in Texas and helped her with some of her financial concerns. I felt better and so did she. When you are at wit's end, stop, and reach out to be a blessing to someone else. There is always someone in need of a call, a smile, a word of encouragement, a card or a gift. Just listen to the gentle inner prompting and you'll be surprised at what you'll hear. 

7. Call on Jesus 

Now we all like to think we can handle everything ourselves. But - some things require the supernatural hand of God. It's when you feel like throwing up your hands in resignation. When things seem insurmountable or unfair and you don't know what to do next, there is a simple act we can do and that is call on Jesus.

I've learned there is great power in simply uttering the precious name of Jesus. "Jesus, help me." is a powerful plea. Try it and see. Immediate peace will flood your being. Jesus is the next level of connection with God. Jesus is peace. Real peace. Peace you cannot get from the world or from yoga class. 

For reflection

Which of these tips can you implement this week? If you, too, would like a deeper sense of God's presence in your life, join me in these simple steps. Leave a comment below and share your thoughts. Let us know if you notice a difference in your day.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my free eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". You'll also receive my weekly posts to encourage and inspire you. 

Also, I am so excited to share that my newest book, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth"  is available on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, Apple Books & Smashwords. If you'd like to be more spiritually resilient, download your copy now and learn the skills to help you have more peace and calm. 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and find healing, wholeness, and harmony in the New Year. 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

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How to Have More Peace by Learning to Let Go

You've most likely heard the phrase "Let go and let God". It's from the Recovery 12-step program. I thought everyone knew what letting go meant until one of my girlfriends asked "How do you let go?" She was serious. Her husband had died more than 10 years ago and she was still grieving. What are you holding on to that is stealing your peace and joy?

So today, I'm going to do my best to explain the concept of letting go in practical terms to help us all let go of situations, people, pets, and past experiences sooner rather than later so we can enjoy more peace and JOY in the present moment. 

It's a Process
The process of learning to let go is powerful and on-going and can be applied in many aspects of life. This is one spiritual lesson we keep getting to practice over and over again because it applies to so many areas of life in all seasons of life. 

What is "letting go" exactly?
Letting go has to do with attachment. We humans tend to get attached: to the past, to people, pets, material possessions, as well as negative thought patterns and bad habits to name a few. The problem is we become too attached. We hold on too tightly and then, inevitably, we suffer: a loved one dies or moves on, a material possession is lost, broken, or damaged, or a pet runs away or dies. The passage in Isaiah 43:18-19 says this "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past".

When we hold on to negative coping mechanisms from the past or emotions such as anger, grief, or resentment, we prevent ourselves from moving forward in life.  Faulty beliefs and patterns keep us stuck like a rat on a wheel going nowhere. It is a choice to think on things above as it says in Phil 4:8. "Think on things that are pure, true, noble, admirable, lovely, and praiseworthy." I have to admit, this is a struggle for me, too, especially when one is brought up in a critical home environment and praise was based on performance. 

When to let go
Impermanence and change are undeniable truths of our existence. Everything on earth is changing. The seasons change. The weather changes. People change. Technology changes. The body changes. 

Change is part of life whether we like it or not. It is all part of the circle and evolution of life. So how do we know when it is time to let go?

One way to know it is time to let go is to ask ourselves these questions "Is this bearing any fruit in my life?" or "Is this serving me right now?"  If the answer we get is no, it is time to put whatever it is behind us, adopt new ways of thinking and relating, and move FORWARD. 

A second sign is ongoing emotional or mental pain. For example, when we hold on to a dysfunctional relationship for too long, we will eventually lose our joy and our peace and sometimes our health. Constant conflict and friction are warning signs. I have been guilty of holding on to relationships for far too long and not setting firmer boundaries soon enough so I know what I am talking about. 

Grieving Loss 
Now it is normal and crucial to grieve the loss of a loved one or beloved pet. A counselor once told me "The price of love is grief" and that is so true. When we love much, the grief of the loss is heavy, but grieve we must if we want to move thru it to the other side and regain our joy and our peace.

It is, however, not healthy if the grieving goes on year after year and we are constantly dwelling on the loss. At some point, we must make a conscious effort to not dwell on the hurt of the loss because this steals the joy from today and prevents us from living and enjoying the present moment.

Letting go is a process we get to practice again and again in different situations.  Whenever I feel like my joy is gone, I ask myself "What do I need to let go of?" There is usually something that is stealing my peace and joy. The good news is with practice, we will recognize sooner rather than later when we need to let go of something or someone. 

For Reflection

What can you let go of today? A broken relationship? A garage or house full of stuff? The pain from a past hurt? I encourage you to give it to God and let him replace it with the fruit of the Spirit in the present moment. For more on this important topic, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your spiritual growth."  where I go more into depth about this. 

If this post was helpful, leave a comment, ask a question, and share it with a friend in need. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email in the box provided. I'll also send you a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path",

Stay tuned for my next post to encourage, educate and inspire you. 

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Surrender to God

We've all heard the expression "Let go and let God", right? I assumed everyone understood what this means until I posted this photo on Facebook and a friend came back with the question "How do you do that?"

Another word for letting go is to surrender. Detach. Give people space. It is a crucial skill to learn if we want to have peace in our lives and in our relationships. Let's jump in. 

1. First step is to realize that letting go is an ongoing process.
We learn to let go. It doesn't come naturally. We develop the ability to let go gradually as we experience loss, grief, and pain in our lives such as when a loved one dies or leaves home, a beloved pet dies, or when a relationship ends. Letting go is an ongoing process because life is constantly in a state of change.

2.  Another term related to letting go is "detachment" which means separating ourselves from another person. 
In recovery terms, detachment means emotionally disconnecting from the abusive, destructive or unhealthy behavior of another person for our own well-being. We think we are being caring, but really, we are being codependent. 

Detaching does not mean we stop loving or caring about the other person but we no longer allow their behaviors to steal our peace and joy. We don't get into it with them. We stop trying to change them or get them to change. It's not our monkey. 

Some extreme examples would be living with an alcoholic, an addict, a gambler, or an angry person. Sometimes, we have to detach from family and friends who, for whatever reason, are unable to participate fully in a healthy relationship. It takes two healthy people to make any relationship work.

A Note About Ghosting

Now keep in mind that letting go is different from ghosting, a popular tactic in today's culture. The person does not communicate their intention to distance directly. It is hurtful and immature to cut off contact with a loved one or any other relationship although it is often necessary for a time to give both parties a chance to grow. 

Ghosting someone is emotionally unhealthy and immature. It also shows that the person is unable to resolve conflict in a mature and healthy manner. Share what is going on openly and honestly. "I need to take a break from our relationship and give you your space. I am here if you need me," or something along those lines. 

When we detach, we find more time and energy to love and take care of ourselves and we allow the other person the time and space to deal with their own issues. It is truly the loving thing to do for both parties. 

3. Letting go has to do with responsibility. 

Sometimes we take on responsibility for problems we do not own. For example, a parent taking financial responsibility for an adult child. A mother not allowing her children to suffer the consequences of their actions. A spouse covering for a partner's addiction such as overspending, drinking, gambling, getting into fights, etc. Codependency causes people to take on the consequences of other people to the detriment of their own physical and financial well-being. 

When we let go, we allow the other person to take responsibility for themselves. We free ourselves from burdens that are not ours to carry. Some people are not emotionally mature enough to be in relationship with you. If there are constant tensions and disagreements, these are signs something is not working and you will exhaust yourself trying to "fix" the relationship. Each of us is responsible for getting healthy, and stopping the blame game. 

4. Letting go is the opposite of controlling. 

People who are overly responsible are often codependent and usually have control issues. Codependents think they are taking care of others, but in reality, it is a form of control based on fear. Most people have control issues to some degree, but fearful people are on the extreme end of the spectrum. If someone you know is controlling, one question to ask them is: "What are you afraid of here?" This will help bring to light the irrational fear they may be struggling with.

No one wants to be controlled.  We are responsible for managing our own lives, but not the lives of those around us. Often, our "caring" efforts are seen as controlling. This is when relationships deteriorate. When we let go of control, we allow the other person the freedom and the dignity to make their own choices and experience the results of those choices.

5. Letting go applies to every area of our lives.
Many people hold on to stuff for years and years for emotional reasons. I once dated a guy who had an entire office filled with old newspapers he'd never read. His garage was packed with stuff his kids used when they were little. These people have a hard time "letting go" of stuff. They've even made a TV show out of this behavior called "Hoarders". If you have a hard time parting with material things, your house is cluttered, and your garage is overflowing, you may want to examine your reasons for holding on to all of that. Does it make you feel loved? Secure? Are you holding on to the past? Think of cleaning house as an opportunity to practice letting go and open yourself up to NEW ADVENTURES!

6.  Surrender to God's will.
When we learn to let go in our lives, we are basically saying "Thy will be done" or "Que sera sera". We no longer insist on our agendas, our plans, and our timeframes. We are more flexible and resilient when the unexpected happens. We feel more peace and tranquility because we have let go of the need to control the outcome of events. We really can't control very much in life. We can't control the stock market, our relatives, our kids, or what happens in the world so we might as well accept life as it is and enjoy it the best we can. Here is the Serenity Prayer in its entirety:

The Serenity Prayer

 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right

if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. 

Reinhold Niebuhr

Personal Story

So yesterday, I was all dressed and ready to go hear an outdoor concert about 20 minutes from me. I checked my tires and they were on the low side so decided to try and fill them myself. Well. After 3 gas stations and 2 broken air machines, one of my tires had no air in it. The "Check tire pressure" warning came up.

Immediately, I said a prayer to make it back to another gas station and thankfully, their machine was working. Sort of. I was able to inflate the tire. This was in 97 degree heat, mind you. An hour had gone by. My white capris were filthy and I was a sweaty disgusted mess. I paused to think and pray. Then I did what I'm telling you to do. I let my plans go. Things happen. I drove home and headed straight for the pool. Immediately all the stress washed away and my joy returned. Folks, when things seem to work against you for whatever reason, choose whatever will bring you peace in the moment. 

7. Evaluate my priorities.
There are only 24 hours in every day and we only have so many days to live. How will I choose to live them and with whom? I reexamine my priorities several times a year. I make a conscious choice on where, how, and with whom I want to spend my time.

I have learned that in order to add something or someone new to my life, I must let go of something or someone else or I will be out of balance just like my clothes closet. When we let go of an unhealthy relationship, we are open to receive a healthier one in its place. First, we will get a test to see if we will go back to our old patterns of accepting unhealthy behavior. After we pass that test, God will bring us healthier friends. 

When we let go of anxiety and worry, we make room for peace and joy. When we let go of activity, we make room for relaxation and self-care. It's all a matter of evaluating what is important to us in the here and now.

8. Choose Peace over Control 
If we want to have more peace and joy and less stress in our lives, learning to let go is one of life's most important lessons.  I have a post- it note on which is written a quote from Oprah Winfrey that says: "All stress comes from resisting what is". I think she is right on. 

Some of us, including me as an oldest child in a dysfunctional family, have become too responsible for others. And yes, it is still a problem. When the adults in a family don't assume their rightful responsibilities, then the children are left to do so, sadly. A sign we are too controlling is when we start to experience push-back from other people. This is the time to step back and give the relationship space and distance. 

Personal Story - Dealing with elderly relatives 

So my 95 year old mother was in a sad state. She couldn't walk. She fractured her back earlier in the year, and we had to move her to assisted living. I had to take over handling all of her stuff - her phone, her drs appts, her physical therapist, her medications, her finances, her bills. You may be dealing with a similar situation. It's tough on everyone. 

Well, I thought I was helping her by taking on these responsibilities, but what I came to realize is she became angry or resentful at me for doing so. Sadly. Who else was going to care for her? 

Then it dawned on me. She is angry at herself and projecting it onto me. So I have decided to do what I am telling you to do - take a step back. Let her call me. Stop being so responsible for all her stuff. She still has a decent mind and can and should speak up for herself. It was a tough lesson to learn but when people are ungrateful for your help, maybe they don't really want it. Let me say that again.

To Learn More on Letting Go

If you want more information on letting go, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth", In it, I explain in detail the how, when, and what of letting go and the various areas of our lives that we get to practice this in. It is life changing for sure. 

For Reflection
So what have you let go of that made a difference in your life? What do you need to let go of today that could bring you more peace? Leave a comment or post in your journal. 

If you enjoyed this post, join our blog community. Enter your email address in the box provided & you'll receive my weekly posts and also a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to get you started on your exciting spiritual journey. I will be taking the month of August off from blogging to get ready for my trip to Spain so enjoy your summer and meet me back here in September. 

Stay tuned for more on having more peace in our relationships and our lives. 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Let Go of Being Offended

Everybody is offended these days, it seems. From political differences, to gender references, to racism, you name it. The lack of respect for others in our society has caused a tremendous increase in offense. But does getting offended really help the situation? Any situation? I think not, so today in our ongoing quest to have more peaceful lives, we're talking about handling offense. 

Personal Story

So my youngest son, now aged 40, was over for dinner last week. As I was cleaning up and putting away the food, I asked him if he would help dry the dishes. He said no. I got offended and off it went. He thought he was the guest and already did his part by wiping down the dinner table. I said we are a family and family pitches in to help. Was it a big deal? No, but did it steal the joy from the get together? Yes. I truly am grateful that he is back home from living out of state for 12 years, so why should I expect him to help? I can see both sides - now. 

Don't Take the Bait

First, we need to understand our triggers. For me, it's respect. Or the lack thereof. For others, it can be comments about differing political opinions, comments about one's looks, weight, hair, skin color. We get offended for a variety of reasons usually something we value greatly. But - again - it is worth it to get upset about it? I think the answer is no. People will be people and everyone has their own perspective which we cannot change. As they say in recovery groups, "Live and let live." We can only control ourselves and that is hard enough. 

Surrender to God

Now you may think it's impossible to not react, but it is not. This is where the power of the Holy Spirit comes to our aid. In the natural, our flesh wants us to react, to stand up for ourselves, our rights, and our opinions. But we are called to walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh (ego), right? The Word says "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord," (Romans 12:19) and Deut 32:35. 

God sees everything we say and do. If we are wronged by a family member or friend, God sees it. Now I am not saying ignore mistreatment, this is where boundaries come in. What I am saying is that God doesn't want us to get into conflicts with others. "As best you can, live in peace with one another," (Romans 12:18). We cannot control what others say or do, but we can control what we allow and how we respond. 

It Boils Down to Respect 

In the end, it all boils down to respect - for one another, for ourselves and for God. We do ourselves no good when we get upset over the "small stuff" and as authors Bruce and Stan say in their books - "It's All Small Stuff." 

Folks, life is precious. Next time you are tempted to react, try and catch yourself. Take a deep breath and say "It's all small stuff." That's what I am going to try. 

For Reflection

What tends to trigger you to get upset? A family member? A coworker? Your boss? How can you practice letting go of being offended at this person? Do write and let us know so we can all be encouraged. 

If this article was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly newsletter full of encouragement and often some tasty recipes, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

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Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

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7 Strategies to Guarantee Weight Loss - Part 2

The battle of the bulge is a never-ending struggle for most of us, especially as we age and become less active. I gain 3 - 5 pounds every year in the winter. And every spring it's a challenge to take it off. I call it my winter pouch. If you are struggling with a few extra pounds, here are the next 3 tips to help us all get thin and trim for summer. 

Why We Put on Weight

There are a lot of factors that go into putting on excess pounds. Some are emotional. Lack of exercise. Lack of knowledge. Boredom. Poor diet. The list is extensive. 

The good news it is never too late to change our habits and small changes can make a huge difference as time goes on. Think of how much energy you will have, the activities you will be able to enjoy, the clothes you will be able to wear with confidence. Sounds great, doesn't it? So let's get started with more strategies I guarantee will help you lose those unwanted pounds.

Tip #4: Drink more water
This cannot be emphasized enough. Dehydration is a major cause of headaches, migraines, fatigue, dizziness and other symptoms. We often mistake hunger for thirst. So I drink a glass of water with a bit of lemon or lime juice which helps balance my PH especially at meals. The amount of water we need to consume on a daily basis varies but I think it's safe to say most of us don't drink nearly enough. An easy-to-remember rule of thumb is to drink at least 8 8 oz glasses of water daily, preferably filtered. Not only will drinking water keep you full, it will flush out those toxins and keep everything flowing nicely. Water also helps keep the skin hydrated.

Tip #5: Eat only when you're hungry
Now this may seem obvious to some, but if you're overweight, you probably don't wait for hunger pains to eat. I know because sometimes I don't. An upsetting phone call, an unresolved decision, an emotional dilemma can all make me want to head for the fridge or a snack. This is called "emotional eating". It is not real hunger pain and is a big factor in weight gain. 

Somewhere along the line we learned to use food to comfort ourselves during times of stress. Rather than eat unconsciously, try going for a walk, making a cup of tea, or try the tapping technique to process your emotions. 

As a working mom, I have had to eat "on schedule" for many years. The clock determined when I ate, not my belly. The key is to become more aware of what we are FEELING. This is where mindfulness comes in handy. Check out my posts and learn more here. I am working on becoming more conscious of my physical and emotional states when I want to reach for food. I ask myself "Are you really hungry right now?" "Is my stomach growling?" "Am I calm?" "Am I feeling cranky or lack energy?" All of these are good indicators of true hunger. If I am not quite sure, I drink a large glass of water first and then see if I still want to eat.

Tip #6: Sit down to eat
Today's fast-paced lifestyle has many of us eating on the run, in the car, at the desk, at a fast-food joint. I know sometimes it can't be helped but eating on the run prevents us from focusing on what and how much we are eating. We don't enjoy the meal. When we slow down and focus on the taste, texture, and color of our meal, we are being mindful. This allows our brains and our bellies to recalibrate and deliver the message "I am full." We reduce the risk of overeating because we are more present and in control of our intake. As a single parent, I always made dinner-time a priority; it was important to prepare healthy meals and teach my sons good eating habits, but also to reconnect after everyone's long day.

Tip #7: Cut out snacking between meals

Once again, the "experts" have changed their minds. They used to tell us to "graze" throughout the day to "keep your metabolism going". Well, everytime we put something in our mouths, we stimulate the release of insulin and we all know that insulin makes us feel hungry. Instead of reaching for that candy bar or 3 pm. snack, go for a walk, or drink a hot cup of tea or water. Try to establish an "eating window" say from 10 am - 6 pm, and don't eat outside of that window or between meals. If you feel hungry between meals, you are probably not getting enough protein and fat to hold you so address that issue instead of snacking. 

Extra bonus tip:
One more tip to help us all maintain a healthy weight, and that is to make more meals at home. Restaurants are notorious for over-sizing portions, over-salting their food, and loading up on unnecssary fats, sugar, and additives. It's a pleasure to dine out occasionally, but healthy home cooking can't be beat. 

There are tons of healthy 30-min cookbooks out there so please don't use the excuse "I just don't have time to cook,". Order your copy of my new cookbook "Mediterranean Mom's Family Favorites: easy, ethnic, and everyday meals" your family will love. Over 150 healthy and nutritious recipes from all sorts of cuisines including keto, paleo, and gluten-free for those on special diets. Digital copy available for only $24.99. Simply use Zelle to send the payment to arielpaz08@gmail.com and I'll get it right out to you. 

In Conclusion
I have used these 7 strategies with success over the years to lose about 35 pounds and maintain a healthy weight so I know they work and they are simple to do. You can beat the battle of the bulge. You can be slim and trim, have more energy, and feel great about yourself. Start today with a few of these tips. 

What weight loss tips can you share with us? Leave a comment below or post on my Facebook page or Instagram. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. In addition to my weekly posts you'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

In the meantime, check out my other offerings on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Google Play. Pop on over to Pinterest and enjoy the collection I have curated for you. And I just recently started posting on Instagram so follow me there too!

Until next time, stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR DESTINY!

And remember,  keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Feel free to use and share my content but do acknowledge me as the source. Thank you!

How to Trust Your Decision Making Ability

Have trouble making decisions? How about big decisions? How about big money decisions? I know I do. Especially now that I am in retirement and these decisions really count. What about you? How are you with making big decisions?

Personal Story
This week I needed to make a big financial decision. I researched for days. I spoke to multiple financial planners at multiple companies. This morning, I had had it. I said a short prayer "I am going to make this decision today. Lord, please give me wisdom about this." 

As I sat down at my computer, my Garmin smartwatch gave me this message "Trust in yourself". I knew it was from God. Picked up the phone and called the retirement company and spoke with a very patient young man, named Mark, who apparently could tell I was distraught with the complexity of the decision. "I'm here to make sure you are happy with whatever decision you choose. Take all the time you need." Wow. That was what I needed to hear. The tears from the stress of the week welled up and I had to take a moment. God sees all, friend. Every situation. Every decision. Every dilemma. Every hurt. His word says "He has captured all your tears in a bottle," (Ps. 56:8).  

1. Involve God in the Process

It is normal to go about decision-making on our own but the Bible exhorts us to get wise counsel. It also tells us to involve God in our decision-making process. Sometimes I wait too long to do this. God sees the bigger picture. He sees the future. With the complexity of life these days, we need all the help we can get. I've known too many people who have gone off on big adventures and not consulted the Lord about it, and failed miserably. 

2. Wait for Peace

Another tip is to wait till you have peace about the decision. If you don't have enough information, get it. Of course, there is such a thing as overanalyzing, which I am probably guilty of, too. But anyway. Ask as many questions as you need to get to a place of peace. If you don't have peace about something, pause and wait for further direction. God may be working something else out for you. 

3. Watch for the Stop Sign

Stop signs are those warning signals we get that give us a check in our spirits. Like when I went out on a second date with a guy who accused me of wanting something more than tennis lessons from the instructor I had just won a free lesson from. I should have ditched him right there and then, but no, I overrode my intuition and my anger, and gave him a second chance. Folks, don't do this. Pay attention to your intuition and your gut. It is a gift from God to help guide us. 

If you have a strong negative emotional reaction to a situation, it is a stop sign. 

4. Proceed with Caution

In my book, "The Power of Faith", I share the story of buying my first house on my own. I checked in with God every step of the way. When the buyer offered me a lower price. When another buyer wanted me to lower the price because he couldn't get financing. When the deal fell through after the inspection. I kept asking "Lord, do you want me to sell the house? If not, I will take it off the market." The answer was always yes, proceed to the Promised Land. 

Folks, there will always be obstacles along the way when making big decisions. The key is to use discernment as to which is a stop sign and which is just an obstacle to overcome. I hope this blog post has given you some insight on how to make better decisions. 

For Reflection

Are you facing a big decision now? Have you taken it to the Lord? Have you been quiet enough to hear his answer? Are you paying attention to any stop signs that have shown up along the way? Do leave a comment and let us know. 

If you enjoyed this post, become a member of our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". It may be time to switch you never know. 

Also, follow me on your favorite social media platform. 

Stay tuned for more to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

7 Simple Strategies to Guarantee Weight Loss - Part 1

Summer is nearly upon us. Are you ready for swimsuit time? Don't let a few extra pounds hold you back from the beach, the pool, and the fun. In today's post, I am sharing some tips to help us all shed that extra weight this year, get healthy, and look our best. 

Did you know more than one third of U.S. adults are obese? Our fast-paced gotta-get-more-done-now lifestyle has led to a deprioritization of mealtimes. We eat on the run, grab a coffee at Starbuck's for breakfast, snack on a donut at break, and then take the kids to a fast-food joint for dinner because of jam-packed schedules. Or we exercise like crazy and then think we have free license to eat anything we want. Not so fast, friend. 

As we age, excess weight can keep us from doing things we love. It also affects the pocketbook. Did you know medical expenses for obese people are $1429 more per year than for a normal weight person? As a gal who has lost a total of 35 pounds over my lifetime, and kept it off, in this two part series, I am sharing six simple tips I use to help maintain a healthy weight. But first, here's what prompted me to write this post.

Personal Story
Last weekend, I was out with a new girlfriend who is about my age, perhaps a few years younger. If I had to guess, she's probably about thirty pounds or more overweight which puts her into the obese category. I parked the car in the garage and we headed to the main entrance for a night of salsa dancing. As we're walking, she says "Dinner time," and pulls something wrapped in foil out of her purse and begins to chow down. What I wanted to tell her is that this behavior is conducive to weight gain, but I kept my mouth shut. Don't let this be you.

So here we go with my first three tips to help you lose that unhealthy baggage, have more energy, and feel better about yourself.

Tip #1: Eat smaller portions
Everything these days seems to be super-sized, from burgers to televisions. Unless we want our bodies to be super-sized we need to go against the tide and realize bigger is not always better, particularly when it comes to portion sizes. A serving of meat, fish, or chicken should be about the size of our palm, which is about 4 ounces. We want to feel pleasantly full but not stuffed when we finish our meal. Instead of a dinner-size plate, start using the salad plates instead. 

Tip #2: Be more active
Physical activity is even more important as we age. We have to keep moving somehow someway. Have done with the excuse about not liking to exercise. There are so many ways to exercise and have fun. One of the easiest and cheapest forms is to take a walk. Walking is a weight-bearing exercise that prevents bone loss.

Put on a pair of supportive shoes, grab a friend or a loved one, and head outside. A brisk 1 - 2 mile walk everyday will do wonders for you. At lunch time, get away from the desk, clear your head, and get some fresh air. If you want more, pick up the pace to a jog. If your joints can take it, jogging is a great cardiovascular exercise that gets the happy hormones, known as endorphins, circulating. You will burn more calories, stoke your metabolism, and strengthen your heart.

Just because we are getting older doesn't mean we have to become a couch potato. Three of my favorite activities are walking, yoga, and pilates. Nothing makes me feel better than a good workout, particularly if it's outside. You can also try working out at home with light weights to keep up your bone mass. Biking and swimming are other options but remember they are not weight-bearing so you'll have to incorporate another exercise to keep from losing bone mass.

Do something to get moving every day until it becomes a habit. Not only will your body thank you but your brain will too!

Tip #3: Cut back on unhealthy fats, sugar, and salt.
As an ex-aerobics instructor, I learned about nutrition, diet, and calories. Since those days, however, the dietary guidelines have done an about face. Then it was all about low-fat this and sugar-free that. Since then, we now know more about the dangers of too many carbs and not enough good fats in our diet. Obesity and diabetes have sky-rocketed due to eating too many carbohydrates. The old thinking that fat (cholesterol) causes heart attacks is out the window. Now the focus is on triglycerides and sugars. 

Quick nutrition lesson here. Fats are found mostly in animal products such as meat, dairy, and cheese. They also are in oils, nuts, and seeds and seed oils such as canola and corn oil, which are highly chemically processed and you should avoid. To limit unhealthy saturated fats, avoid fried foods, fast-food, ice cream, pre-made packaged or frozen products, and creamy salad dressings and sauces such as ranch dressing and alfredo sauce. 

Check the labels and notice the number of saturated fat grams per serving. If you're not used to doing this, get ready for a rude awakening. Fat is not the enemy however. Healthy fats such as olive oil, avocado oil, and coconut oil are good for you. The brain is made up of 60% fat, so it needs healthy fats to do its job. Olive oil, coconut oil, sardines, salmon, and mackerel all contain heart-healthy oils but eat them in moderation if you want to lose the weight. Now let's talk about sugar.

Experts say sugar is our #1 enemy. Sugars come from anything that is not a protein or a fat which include alcohol, bread, cereal, potatoes, grains, cakes, candy, donuts, etc. Sugar wears many disguises so it is important to be aware of where these simple carbohydrates lurk. 

I overheard a woman at the pool the other day comparing lettuce and watermelon. She, too, is overweight. She was talking about how much she loves watermelon. True, lettuce and watermelon are both mostly water, however, watermelon is very high in sugar, rating 72 out of 100 on the glycemic index. So if you're downing it in large quantities, remember the body still needs to produce insulin to digest fruit sugars the same as the sugar in cakes and cookies. Some other sources of sugar you might not be aware of are alcohol, dried fruit such as raisens, figs, dates, and some energy drinks. Eating too many carbohydrates can lead to diabetes and obesity. Now let's talk about salt.

The average American consumes too much salt.  Packaged and pre-made foods are loaded with salt aka sodium. Most restaurants over-salt foods. Why? Because salt, like sugar, makes you want to eat more. Ever stopped at half a bag of popcorn at the movies? Not me. Too much salt contributes to high blood pressure and our blood pressure naturally goes up as we age. It can also cause bouts of dizziness and vertigo. 

Instead of using salt to flavor food, I have a whole selection of herbs and spices. Fresh parsley, ginger, dill, onion, and garlic are potent anti-inflammatory seasonings and packed full of vitamins and good stuff. Salt like sugar is a habit.

Our taste buds become accustomed to sweet and salty foods, but they can be retrained. Use lemon and lime to flavor fish and meat. Try Herbes de Provence or a no salt garlic herb seasoning like Mrs. Dash. If you are in the habit of salting your food before you taste it, stop putting the salt and pepper shaker on the dinner table. You'll get tired of getting up to get it and soon break the habit.

For Reflection
What health concern would you like to conquer? Which one of these tips will you apply this week? Do write and let me know how it goes for you. Stay tuned for part 2 next week when I'll share the next 3 practical tips to help you beat the battle of the bulge. 

If you enjoyed this post do share with a friend who might enjoy it as well. To join our community and learn more about healing, health, wholeness, and harmony, enter your email address in the box on the right. In addition to my weekly posts, you'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

In the meantime, check out my other offerings on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apple. Pop on over to Pinterest and enjoy the collection I have curated for you. And I just recently started posting on Instagram so follow me there too!

Until next time, stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR DESTINY!

And remember,  keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

All rights reserved. If you'd like to use this material, contact me at arielpaz08@gmail.com.