4 Ways Meditation Will Make You a Calmer Person

Life is busy, stressful, and complex. No matter what season of life you are in. It's always something, as I used to tell my mom. Our minds are on overdrive trying to process everything that comes at us in a day. And then there is the nightly news. 

The result? Racing thoughts. Sleepless nights. Overeating, pill popping or drinking alcohol to relax. Sound familiar? This week I'm sharing a spiritual practice that can help you tame your monkey racing mind and stay more present and peaceful during your day as well as hear from God on a regular basis. 

An Ancient Practice 

Archaeologists and scholars believe meditation has been around for over 5,000 years. In this information-over-loaded culture we live in, it is critical that we make time to not only rest our bodies, but our minds as well so this week I'm sharing on the ancient practice of meditation. 

No matter what beliefs you have, you should know that meditation practices have been part of both eastern and western religious practices for ages. The earliest documentation of meditation is found in the Hindu sacred text known as the Vedas from ancient India but it has its own place in Western religions as well. St. Ignatius of Loyola is famous for his book, Spiritual Exercises. The Bible continually exhorts believers to "meditate on things above", meditate on the Word of God day and night and to "Be still and know that I am God". Also we are exhorted to "take every thought captive." That is meditation. 

Can You Please Sit Still? 

In the same way the body needs a good amount of rest to restore and renew itself, so too does the mind.  Often, even when the body is asleep, the mind continues to churn away on the problems and issues of the day. No wonder we wake up feeling unrefreshed. The mind didn't know it was bedtime.

So, how often do you sit down during the course of the day, close your eyes and just observe your thoughts? Most people are so tired that when they do sit down and close their eyes, they fall asleep. Others find it difficult or even uncomfortable to sit still and do nothing. I know, because I used to be this way. 

As a single mom of two boys working at a mentally exhausting career while balancing the demands of home, health, & child-rearing plus trying to fit in a social life, I wish someone would have suggested meditation to me years ago. Sit down and rest my weary mind. 

The rapid advancement of technology has dramatically increased the pace of life and the hurry up, get-it-done-yesterday mindset has side-lined this important discipline. As the rate of stress-related illnesses soar, many are realizing this non-stop physical and mental freneticism is not only unhealthy but unprofitable as well. So how can meditation benefit you?

Benefit #1: Meditation calms our minds and our bodies. 

In the same way the body needs a good amount of rest to restore and renew itself, so too, does the mind. Often, even when the body is asleep, the mind continues to churn away on the problems and issues of the day. No wonder we wake up feeling unrefreshed. The mind didn't know it was bedtime.

When we sit down to meditate, we allow the "mental clutter" to settle. The breath and the heart rate slow which reduces blood pressure naturally. Meditation allows confusion to dissipate and clarity and creativity to spark so we can find answers to our problems and creative solutions. 

There are different forms of meditation so whether your spiritual path is eastern, western or a combination of both, you can benefit from this ancient practice. In eastern religions, there are several different meditation styles. One of them is to focus the mind on something constant such as the breath, a candle flame, or a mantra, which is a word or a phrase such as "peace', "be still", or "I am calm".

The basic premise is that by focusing the mind, the practitioner becomes increasingly aware of the flow of thoughts as they occur and is able to disengage and enter the place of rest where the mind is calmer. I practice what is called Vipassana meditation which focuses on finding clarity and insight in addition to calm. 

Benefit #2: Helps us to connect with ourselves and with God. 
When we still our bodies, the thoughts that jump around like monkeys in our minds settle down as well. This allows us to see what is going on with our feelings and emotions and to get in touch with our inner selves. When we are moving so fast all day, we ignore that still small voice and our deep thoughts and emotions rarely get noticed or even attended to.

The practice of meditation in Christian religions is similar in that one of the goals is to focus and calm the mind. In addition, Christian practitioners also have the goal of calming the spirit and connecting more deeply with God which is done by reading or repeating phrases or words of Holy Scripture or Christian devotions. Early proponents of Christian meditation are St. Teresa of Avila, St. Ignatius of Loyola and St. John of the Cross.

Benefit #3: Brings awareness of our thoughts, feelings and actions.
Whatever your spiritual path, meditation is an important skill that helps us bring more awareness to our daily lives.  Often we go through the day on auto-pilot, barely noticing anything inside us or around us until we plop into bed at night, exhausted. And then we spend the night processing what happened during the day. 

When we deliberately calm our minds, we are more able to identify our thoughts on a moment to moment basis. I've read that the average person thinks 60,000 - 70,000 thoughts per day, and being the deep reflective thinker I am, I probably process a lot more. Yikes!

Meditation helps us become more aware of our thoughts and the type of thoughts. Is this thought positive or negative, anxious, or angry? Thoughts are energy and negative thoughts bring us down and lower our energy and steal our joy. Notice whenever you have left the present moment - today - and wandered either into the past or the future. Meditation helps us to stay in the present moment which helps alleviate anxiety. It also helps us to stay focused and pay attention to what we are doing, rather than be unaware and easily distracted. 

Unawareness of negative, anxious and angry thoughts lead to a vicious downward spiral which often leads to depression and reactivity. Becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions is a tool to stop this cycle and keep us grounded and calm.

Benefit #4: Breaks the vicious activity cycle.
Many of us run around all day frenetically going from one thing to another. As a single parent, this pace was my norm. Since retiring, I have made a conscious effort to slow down, do less and take more breaks. I have a sticky note that says "Take the pressure off." Continuous activity is akin to an addiction, something that makes us crave more and more. Meditation helps break this cycle as well. 

When I feel like I'm moving too fast, an alarm goes off in my mind "Break time!" and I make myself sit down and meditate for 15 - 20 minutes. If I fall asleep, then that means I'm tired but I don't berate myself for falling asleep. This stopping to meditate breaks the "to do" cycle and mentality. We are human beings not human doings! As meditation becomes a daily practice, we realize stillness is a gift and we will look forward to our times of being still. 

For reflection:

Have you considered incorporating meditation into your daily routine? How might it benefit you, personally? Meditation is not difficult. All it takes is a few minutes a day, start by closing your eyes and taking 3 deep breaths a few times a day. Here are some more posts on meditation to help. 

If you enjoyed this post, join our blog community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

If you are interested in furthering your spiritual growth, you might enjoy my newest book, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 steps to Supercharge your spiritual growth" available at your favorite booksellers here. 

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If you 

Until next time, I wish you peace and stillness and remember...

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

6 Easy Ways to Get Your Joy Back - Part 2

"How am I feeling this morning?" This is a good question to ask ourselves before we start our day. "Am I feeling joyful?" If we don't mindfully check in with ourselves we'll go around feeling blah and we'll turn to distractions, alcohol, shopping or some other addictive behavior to make us feel better. If we aren't feeling the joy of the Lord, something is wrong so what to do about it? This week I'm sharing 3 more steps to getting our joy back. 

How high is your joy meter today? High, low, or medium? Things can happen in a minute that can steal our joy, which is where mindfulness and faith come in. It's a question of being aware of when something irritates us and then making a mindful decision whether we are going to let it get to us. 

Joy flows in and through us on a daily basis but we must make a conscious decision to keep our joy and not get aggravated at every little thing: the elderly mom, the rebellious kids, the traffic, the boss, the list is endless. 

Today I am sharing the next 3 tips as promised. If you missed the first 3 tips for getting your joy back, here is the post again. 

                                               

Tip #4: Pay attention to your thoughts. 

Here's a quick mindfulness practice I do every morning to get in the right frame of mind. As soon as my eyes open, I declare this verse - out loud:  "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24). Notice the emphasis on the words "I will". This indicates I am making a conscious DECISION to be joyful. We must be deliberate about our frame of mind, if we want to stay joyful on a daily basis and into our later years. 

Do you find yourself dwelling on the same issue or person for days or nights on end? Picture a car stuck in a ditch with the wheels whirling and whirling. This is what our minds are doing when we ruminate or over-think and it is a joy-stealer. When we spin our mental wheels trying to figure something out or solve a problem that has no solution, this burns us out mentally and energetically. It can also cause headaches and migraines. I know this from first-hand experience. 

How to Avoid Overthinking
There are two ways to get out of the overthinking cycle. 

1) decide on an action to take in the moment. Taking some type of action takes the pressure off and makes us feel less out of control of the situation. 

2) realize we are overthinking something and decide to put the issue on the back burner till we get clarity. This takes the pressure off and I'm all about taking the pressure off. 

I know this is tough, but we are not in control of the when the answers will come.  We need to learn to trust in God to reveal them in HIS timing, not ours. It's another opportunity to practice letting go.

Exercise Your Faith

Another example I had to deal with last year was what to do about my 94 yr old mother who fractured her back. Without going into all the details, there were a lot of factors to consider, as anyone who has elderly parents knows. I assured my sister and my mother, who were both freaking out, that we would figure it out slowly. I kept saying "Let's stay in today" to calm them down.

Actually, I am pretty proud of myself that I did stay so composed and in the moment and did not freak out. I trusted that God would show us the way and he did. She went to rehab which she hated and then I found her an assisted living facility that served her chocolate cake the first day she got there. Her comment was "I should have done this years ago." It is in these types of critical, stressful situations that Faith and a spiritual practice pays off, friends. A spiritual practice helps us to not freak out when uncertainty hits and answers are complicated because we have a God who cares. 

Practice Mindfulness Daily
The natural state of our mind is to be peaceful but there are so many things to worry/stress/think about in every day life. Scripture exhorts us to "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). This means to pay attention to what we're thinking about. Our thoughts can take us down the proverbial rabbit hole if we don't learn how to be mindful and take control of them.   

The good news is practicing mindfulness helps us to be more aware of our thoughts and our emotions. We need to catch ourselves ruminating or dwelling on negative topics and bring ourselves back to the present moment, the here and now, because that is where JOY is found. Joy is not found in yesterday or tomorrow, folks. By practicing spiritual techniques (Check out my new ebook, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth), slowly, the grooves in our brains will be rewired and we will have better thinking patterns over time.

No matter what thoughts pop into my head, I remind myself of the truths I believe in. "Lord, I know you see this situation. It might not look good to me right now, but your word says you work all things out for my good. I will take responsibility for my thoughts, decisions, and actions. I will stay in peace and trust you to guide me. I will rejoice and be glad today. I will take care of myself and set firm boundaries. Thank you, Lord." This helps strengthen my spiritual muscle and keeps my peace and joy. 

Tip #5: Have some fun. 
As a single parent of two growing boys for many years combined with a full-time career plus grad school, it was hard to find time to have fun. Even now as an older single lady with few friends, it is hard to find time to have fun. Now I will admit having fun has changed over the years. I used to love to go ballroom dancing, or any kind of dancing for that matter. Now fun is enjoying the pool, working on my blog or my lettering, making a good dinner. Fun is something you choose to do that is pleasurable that keeps you in the present moment. What do you like to do for fun these days?

Keep Play in the Picture 
No matter how busy we might be, however, play is vital to our well-being. (See #5 in my recent book "Take Back Your Life". )  Some of us, including me, are so responsible, we have to schedule downtime and play into our to-do lists. As I write this I am thinking when was the last time I played...does watching a soccer game fall into the play category? I think so. 

Others play too much and neglect their responsibilities as well as their health. We need to find balance in our daily lives if we want to keep our joy. Having fun makes room for joy to pop back up because it lets the pressure out of the pot. 

What do you like to do? What takes your mind off your problems and brings you into the present moment? Choose a healthy activity that will restore and energize you, instead of depleting you or taking you out of the present moment like watching the boob tube or playing video games. Something out of doors is always good this time of year.  Walking is a great way to let go of stress and get a bit of exercise and fresh air. Team up with a friend or loved one if you can. Or maybe go for a bike ride, or do some gardening. Even a half hour will do you a world of good and help you clear your mind and reconnect with your joy.  

Tip #6: Let go of control. 
We all like to be in control. My issue stems from being raised in a chaotic home, where everything was out of control, but most of us want to be "in control" to some degree. The truth is there are only a handful of things that are truly under our control. Much of life - aka other people - are not and the sooner we come to understand this, the more peace and less stress we will have.  

Do what you can to attend to any given situation (if you need to) and then give it to God. Notice we have a part in fixing our problems. We can't just throw up our hands and say "Well, God will take care of it." When we do what we can, God will do what we can't. This is where faith, patience and obedience come in. 

If you want more peace in your daily life, learn how and when to let go. I talk about all the ins and outs of letting go of control in my new book, "Ignite the Power Within." Letting go is a spiritual practice and if you don't know what it is, how it applies to your life, or how to do it, I encourage you to order my new book and learn more today.

So there you have my 6 tips to getting your joy back.  
We all go through difficult situations and I'm certainly not minimizing what you or I are going through right now, but I have learned that stuff will ALWAYS keep coming at us. As author, Sonia Choquette says in her book "Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose", "We are souls on a journey to heal, grow and evolve and these trials are our tests to pass".  It is up to us to decide how each situation will affect us and how we will respond to it. The quicker we can let go of unhappy, negative thoughts, the more we can enjoy each day.

Reflection:
How about you? Is there something or someone stealing your joy right now? Are you feeling overwhelmed with all your responsibilities? What changes do you need to make to have more peace and joy? Don't let the challenges of life steal either one. Make a decision to let go of control and enjoy each day for the gift it is. That's why they call it "the present".

If this article was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, pop on over to Pinterest to check out my collection on health and wellness, fashion, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

 

6 Easy Ways to Get Your Joy Back - Part 1

We all have tough days, weeks, sometimes months. Job stress, no time to exercise, family responsibilities or perhaps a run in with a loved one can all cause us to lose our peace and our joy. I can relate. So many things can happen in the course of any given day that can steal our joy, if we allow them to. It is important to be mindful of how and what we are feeling in the present moment and then take constructive steps to deal with the issue so we can get our joy back. 

We are meant to live vibrant, joyful, energetic lives, no matter what age we are. Now that is not fantasy nor is it unrealistic. Sure, we all have down days, but the key is to have less of them. So this week, I'm sharing the first 3 out of 6 strategies I use to maintain my joy but first, a recent personal anecdote you may relate to and how I handled it. 

Personal Story:  

So I did not hear from my son over the Easter holiday. Not a card, not a phone call. Not even a text message. I was disappointed and hurt and I felt it. It was a choice to say nothing or to say something. So rather than stew for days, I decided to email him (a non-invasive method) and express my feelings. He has a lot going on right now and apologized. He also thanked me for sharing my feelings. Wow.

This courageous act of sending an honest email opened up the lines of communication. And my joy returned! I don't like feeling upset or angry at someone so I try my best to clear the air as soon as possible. The Bible says "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Eph 4:26 - 32)

Awareness is Key 

Most people are not aware of how their actions - or non-action - may hurt you. They are too wrapped up in their own lives and problems to think about you. It is up to us to let people know how we are feeling. People are not mind-readers so don't expect them to be. It is up to us to teach people how we want to be treated. If the other person cares about you, honest communication will get the issue out in the open and help clear the air. 

The key is to be more aware of what things are stressing us out and do something about them before we go Kaboom or take it out on other people! Anger management - or the lack thereof - is a huge problem in our world today. Just watch the evening news.  

So here are the first 3 tips on how to try to keep our joy on an everyday basis:

1. Realize you have lost your joy. 
If we're not careful we can become glum and not even realize it. Look in the mirror. Are you smiling? Humming? Or am I ruminating on some situation or person? Am I staying in too much? Sleeping too much? Lack energy? We can get so bogged down by the trials of life, we lose our joy, often without realizing it. The question is - are any of these things worth losing my joy over and the answer is NO! 

"But, you don't know what I'm dealing with," some retort. No, I don't but we are all fighting our own battles, no matter what they may be and we are each responsible for managing our own stress levels. 

If you find yourself constantly dumping your woes on others, blaming loved ones, or always finding fault and complaining, you might want to consider getting counseling.  Better Help is an online counseling service you might want to look into to help you through a rough patch. 

2. Step away from the stress.
When we realize we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it's time to break the stress cycle and get away mentally. If possible, put some distance between you and the situation or the other person. Agree to take a time-out temporarily. Focus on yourself rather than the frustrating situation. Get a workout in, listen to music, make a nice dinner, get together with friends. Do something that puts you in the "zone". These all help to let the steam out of the pot and give you a break from dealing with the situation or person until emotions have cooled and you are in a better place.

I've learned that when other people are stressed they often take it out on an innocent bystander (usually the person closest to them) and it is best to set a boundary - sooner rather than later - with them to protect our peace and our mental and physical health. I'm still getting practice at this one with my youngest son who pushes my boundaries constantly. 

3. Make time for self-care. 
Self-care is not selfish, I don't care what anyone says. If we don't take good care of ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually, we are less able mentally and emotionally to deal with others. We have to start with a full bucket. Take a hot Epsom salts bath or go to a steam room or sauna.  Give yourself some quiet time. Polish your nails, gals. Get some exercise and get moving - go for a run, a walk, a bike ride or a swim. Guys, get thee to the gym, go for a bike ride, or hit the golf course.

Exercise moves negative energy out of your body. 

When the pressures and problems of the world crowd in on us, it's time to get alone and get the energy moving out of our bodies,  clear our minds, and then we will be able to listen to that still small voice that gives us guidance when we need it.  

Reflection:

Is there some situation or someone stealing your joy? Can you implement one or more of these tips to feel more joyful today? What can you do to process your emotions and let off steam? 

If this post was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly encouraging posts, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, pop on over to Pinterest to check out my collection of pins on blog posts, health and wellness, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for the next post in this series when I share the next 3 tips to getting your joy back. Let's help each other ignite the power within!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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How to Use Mindfulness to Transform Your Life

Ever notice there is always construction going on someplace? Just like the roads around here, we are all a work in progress.  Seems like there is always something to repair, reconstruct, or rebuild. The same goes for us. You'll know when a change is needed when you hit a rough patch - a relationship goes on the rocks, communication gets muddied, you feel down, depressed or lose your joy.

The good news is that tough times are actually opportunities for change, growth and renewal and this week I am sharing three ways being more mindful can help us transform our lives.  

            

1. Make time to self-reflect 

When we go through a tough time, the tendency is to want to move through it quickly, to distract ourselves, to distance from loved ones or to keep ourselves too busy to think. But this is the wrong approach. Tough times come to teach us something, to grow us up, to refine our character. The question to ask ourselves is "What do I need to learn from this?" and "How can I be better?"

2. Be More Mindful

Awareness is the first step to change. When we slow down our busy lives, we are able to be more mindful during our day. It will all get done, sooner or later but better to do it in peace than in a hurry. You know how when you take a nice leisurely stroll you notice the flowers, the sounds of the birds, the colors of the trees,  provided, of course, you are not talking on your phone. Ahem. 

Versus when you go for a run, all you can think about is your legs, your breathing and your feet. You don't really notice your surroundings. This too is being mindful in a different way. When we run, we focus on our body instead of the scenery, just watch out for traffic and deer. 

Life is not a race. We should not be rushing through it. We should be enjoying it and paying attention: to our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. This is what wholeness is all about. Making all of these work together in harmony. 

3. It's a Skill 

Practicing mindfulness is a skill we all can benefit from. It helps us to pay more attention to ourselves by shining the laser beam of attention on our thoughts and behaviors. 

When we shine the light on ourselves rather than focusing on what the other person said or did, we are able to see things more clearly. It is only then we are able to make positive changes because we can only change ourselves.  For more on mindfulness and meditation, check out my posts on this important topic. 

An Example
Let's look at over-eating for example or eating when we are not really hungry. I know I still struggle with these myself. Ask yourself these questions before you get something to eat. 

- Am I really hungry?

- When did I eat last?

- What am I feeling?

- What am I thinking about? 

Keep a diary of these thoughts and when you eat and you will see patterns in your eating that you can adjust to lose the weight. Often we go on auto-pilot and eat not out of true hunger but something else usually something emotionally stressful and we are trying to self-soothe ourselves with food or drink or a smoke. 

4. Take off the Pressure 

Personal story

I hate pressure. I don't do well under pressure. After retiring, I still felt the pressure. But where was it coming from? Me! Finally, I put up a sticky note on my kitchen cabinet that said "Stop the pressure." There was no need. Many of us pressure ourselves needlessly and this steals our peace and our joy. 

Change and transformation take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? Be gentle with yourself. Keep at it and keep the faith. Don't try and lean on your own will-power which is limited. Instead, lean on God. It is by his grace and through his power that we are able to overcome the obstacles in our path to growth and transformation. 2 Corinthians 12:19 says "My grace is sufficient for you". Hang on to that promise and you will be victorious no matter what you are trying to change because God is faithful. 

For Reflection 
What are you struggling with today? What can you do to be more gentle and compassionate with yourself? What is one step you can take to make the change a reality today? 

If this post resonated with you, join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly newsletter plus a copy of my free eguide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover your destiny. 

Until next time,  keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Live in the Present to Transform Your Life

What do you want to see transformed in your life? A bad habit? A relationship? Your finances? The Resurrection reminds us that new life can come from something dead. Things might seem hopeless but when we focus on the cross, we realize there is always hope. Hope to start again. Hope to make things new. And one of the keys to transforming our lives, is to practice living in the present moment so that is the topic of this week's post. 

Life is not always a bed of roses as you know. The key is to make it a bed of roses - by staying in today. Today is where Joy is found. Today is where action is possible. Today is when forgiveness heals. Today is when we can express love. 

There are several factors involved in transformation: the power of decision, the power of faith and believing, and finally, taking action in today. 

1. Reprioritize Your Life 
If we want to make changes we need to be really clear on our priorities. Start by asking yourself these questions:

- What do I REALLY want my life to look like? In 5 years? In 10 years?

- Where do I REALLY want to live?

- What TRULY makes me happy?

- What ONE SPECIFIC THING do I want to change?

Be specific in defining your goals. There is always something to work on, to improve, to learn, to unlearn. Growth and change make for a healthier, more enriched and more joyful life. Brendon Burchard, high performance coach, says this: "When you're done changing, you're done" and I agree.

2. Forget about the Past - Today is a new day

How often do your thoughts go back to some past event? Or become anxious about some possible future event that probably will never happen? Or let a situation control your thoughts? I'm guilty of this and it's a bad habit. We are suddenly anxious and often, don't even realize why. It's because our thoughts took us there. 

3. Conquer Mindlessness 

How often do you say or do something without realizing it? We could be driving, or taking a shower, or going to get something from another room and forget what it was. And our mind wanders. Happens to all of us. It's called mindlessness. 

Other forms of mindlessness include time we spend watching stupid television shows, playing games on the computer or cell phone, picking our skin or nails, pulling our hair, or snacking when we are not hungry. These are all forms of mindlessness which take us out of the present moment. 

Mindlessness is the failure to pay attention. It's like we are on auto-pilot. We eat, drink, pick, or do something unhealthy without really being present. I call it a trance. Who knows how or why it happens. 

So what should we pay attention to if we want to transform our lives? Here are some key things:

Pay attention to yourself.
Pay attention to your moods.
Pay attention to what emotions and feelings you are experiencing as you experience them and how your body is reacting. 
Pay attention to your reactions.
Pay attention to your interactions with others.
Pay attention to how you are feeling when you eat.
Pay attention to your calmness level.
Pay attention to how tired you are.

Pay attention to how loud you are talking. 
Pay attention to how much you have to do in any given day.
Pay attention to your stress level.
Women, pay attention to your hormones.
Men, pay attention to your work demands.

One thing that is particularly important is to pay attention to our urges.
- the urge to eat.
- the urge to snack
- the urge to get a drink or a smoke
- the urge to shop
- the urge to speak unkindly
- the urge to be impatient, rude or snarky

- the urge to interrupt

- the urge to raise your voice

- the urge to pick or pull at our skin, our hair, our nails

3. Managing Urges 
We have hundreds of urges in the course of a day. Often, we act on them  because we are unaware that the urge is controlling our behavior, not conscious choice. For example, I developed the habit of getting a snack later in the evening. I tend to eat dinner early so by 8 or 9 pm. I am often ready for a snack. I don't like to go to bed feeling the slightest bit hungry. Well, I am also trying to lose the winter weight I picked up. Which will win? The urge to snack or the desire to lose the weight? It's a daily struggle and it all goes back to our commitment to our decision to change. 

We cannot prevent urges from happening, but we can change our actions and how we respond to them and that takes being mindful and present. We can choose a response the is in line with our values. So in this example, I can choose to have a cup of hot tea instead of a piece of chocolate. Tea does not break my fast or spike my blood sugar. It's about noticing the urge and then making a conscious choice to do something different. This is called Habit Reversal Training, teaching ourselves new positive habits. 

When we continue to act on our urges, we eventually develop a habit and we all know how hard it is to break a habit. The key is to be aware of our unhealthy habits and behaviors and nip them in the bud. The more we pay attention - stay present- the more in control we are of our thoughts and behaviors, the more we are able to make conscious choices and move forward in improving our lives.

For Reflection 
I trust this post has been enlightening for you as learning about it has been for me. Is there a habit you would like to break? What urge do you have that needs to be replaced? What response could you replace it with? 

If this post was helpful to you, consider joining our blog community. When you enter your email address in the box provided, you'll receive my weekly emails. You'll also receive a copy of my free eguide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice."

Stay tuned for next week's post on transformation. So glad you're here to learn how to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

6 Ways to Stay Positive in a Negative World - Part 2

Joy. It's a commodity we all want more of, yes? Joy gives us energy. It lifts our spirits and it helps us enjoy life more. Last week I shared three tips on how to have more joy and stay positive on a regular basis. This week I'm sharing the next three tips, since I am trying to make these posts shorter because I know you are a busy person, but want to make your spiritual growth a priority. 

                                       

4. Refuse to Dwell on Negative Situations
As I mentioned last week, when we rehash negative situations especially from the past, we steal the joy from the present moment. Often, we rehash these events in our minds as well as to others. Don't let this be you. The Bible exhorts us to "set our minds on things above" (Col 3:1). For more on how to do this, click here.  This is why mindfulness is so important. We have to "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). Mindfulness helps us to be more conscious of our thoughts and by making a conscious choice to think on things above, we can stay positive and joyful rather than allowing daily events and other people's problems and circumstances to drag us down and steal our energy. 

5. Put Things in Perspective
A phrase from Al-Anon that I find helpful is to ask myself the question, "How important is it?" Most of the stuff that annoys us on a daily basis is pretty trivial in the big scheme of things, isn't it? It helps to put difficult situations into perspective. As I say in my book, "The Power of Faith", there is always another way to view the negative circumstances of life. I choose to look at them as stepping stones to my growth and to my destiny. When things go awry, I ask myself this question "What can I learn from this?" Things like family conflict and big things like the pandemic and the stock market, which are out of our control, all have lessons to teach us. The question is will we make time to figure out what that lesson is?

Life will always have positives and negatives. It's up to us which we will focus on. We can choose to focus on the good things that happen to us during the course of the day or the bad things. It is a choice we all have to make, whether we realize it or not. What we focus on determines the level of joy in our lives because negative thoughts suck our energy.

6. Do Something Fun
Now remember fun is different from joy. Fun refers to something external. Joy is internal. As a single parent and the oldest child of an alcoholic, I have always been very responsible. Okay, I admit it - too responsible. I have felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders most of my life. I'm realizing that the weight of the world can only rest on God's shoulders; mine are far too weak to bear so much. It is important to have a healthy balance between responsibility and fun. When we feel like we have lost our joy, it's time to go out and do something fun to clear the path for joy to flow. 

Personal Story 
I like to dance. Years ago, someone once told me it is a joy to watch me dance. I thought that was such a nice complement. Dancing not only brings me joy but it brings other people joy as well. It's a win-win scenario.  When the beat of the music is so exhilarating I can't help but move and I guess my joy emanates out to others. 

For Reflection 

What do you like to do for fun? What steals your joy? What situation do you need to let go of to have more peace? Do leave a comment and let us know. 

If you enjoyed this post, consider joining our community by entering your email in the box above. You'll receive my weekly newsletter plus a copy of my NEW and FREE e-guide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice".  To further your spiritual growth, check out my collection of books here. 

Stay tuned for for more tips on staying positive and faith-filled so you can discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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How to Tame Your Unruly Mind

Have you ever said something "without thinking"? Do you often find yourself feeling down, depressed or anxious but don't know why? What about the dreams you have at night that keep you from getting a good night's rest? What's going on then? If we want to ignite our personal power so we can move forward towards our goals and dreams and have more peace and joy, we must tame and train the unruly beast known as the mind.

The Brain vs. the Mind
Before we can talk about how to discipline the mind, we need to understand what exactly do we mean by "the mind". To keep this as simple as possible, the mind is the non-physical part of us that is composed of both consciousness and unconsciousness. It is separate from the physical part of the body known as the brain. The brain is the organ that is part of our central nervous system and controls our physical and bodily functions.

The mind, on the other hand, controls our emotions, our thoughts, and our will. Some believe that the mind is the eternal part of us known as the "soul". Undeveloped and unconstrained, the mind will take off like a runaway train or a wild horse. Buddhism calls this "monkey mind" meaning unsettled, capricious, restless, uncontrollable, confused. Picture the monkeys you see in the zoo or the wild and how they flit from tree to tree hanging on and jumping around willy nilly. This is how undisciplined minds behave. Thousands of thoughts fly by in the course of everyday life, yet we are unaware of the majority of them.

Feed your mind positive input.
If we want to harness the power of our minds, we need to discipline it to think the right kind of thoughts. There are three main steps to cultivating a disciplined mind and today we will cover the first one.  

Our minds are like computers. How they are programmed is how they will perform. Many of us grew up in an environment of worry, anxiety, fear and the like so we already have a library full of negative thoughts. If we feed our minds junk, violence, and negativity which abound in the media, on television and in our world, our thoughts will be full of this stuff.  You may not even be aware of the negativity that is coming out of you. The good news is we can change the way we think by changing what we feed our minds.

If we want healthy, vibrant bodies we will feed ourselves healthy, nutritious food and drink plenty of water. In the same way, if we want healthy, peaceful and emotionally stable minds we need to feed our minds life-giving, positive and faith-filled thoughts. I prefer to use phrases from the Holy Bible and I can attest to the fact that they do work. Here are some of my favorites:

     -If we want to conquer fear and doubt, start thinking thoughts of faith.
       "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a 

        sound mind".

       "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own           understanding."

     If we want to become more bold and less timid,  
      "The Lord is my rock and my fortress." 
      "No weapon formed against me shall prosper."
      "If God is for us, who can stand against us?". 

    If we want to be more loving,
       "Love your neighbor as yourself"
       "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs."
       "Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

    
    If we want to be more at peace, memorize these verses:
       "The Lord will give keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him."
       "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything pray and give thanks to God and He will give you peace that passes all understanding".     

    If we want more ease and less anxiety, instead of thinking "This is too much for me"  or "I'll never be able to ....." think and say out loud:
       "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me".
       "God will make my crooked paths straight". 
        "Be still and know that I am God"

     If we want more abundance and provision, stop thinking thoughts of lack.
       "My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus".
       "No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."

These are just a few examples I personally use to reprogram my thinking and you can too! Pick out some verses that resonate with you and begin to verbalize them daily. I post them on sticky notes around the house to remind me.

Personal Story

My mom recently passed and a whole boatload of extra responsibilities and tasks got dumped into my lap. I'm sure some of you have dealt with this situation and know how difficult it is. Well, trying to do her 2023 taxes and obtain the various 1099s since her Texas accountant has disappeared. Still have not received the final one and trying not to stress about the looming tax deadline of Oct. 15. 

This is certainly a test because the situation is out of my control despite my numerous phone calls to the companies involved. I am getting to practice what I preach - paying attention to my thoughts, staying at peace, and living in the present moment. We can only do so much, and in these situations it is important to remember that God sees and is in control. He will make a way where there seems to be no way. 

Reprogram Your Mind
If we want to be more powerful, peaceful, and successful, we need to be more positive. We need to reprogram our thinking with truth and the best source of truth I know is the Holy Bible. Now you can use whatever sacred texts or affirmations you choose, but I suggest the Holy Bible and here's why.

God is obligated to fulfill His Word. He is not obligated to follow through on anyone else's word. The words of scripture have supernatural power in them and that is the missing ingredient in using anything else. Positive affirmations that are not the Word of God will only take us so far. Why?

Because God rewards Faith! He wants to know that we are depending on Him and him alone and not merely our own will and self. When we learn to depend on God more, and ourselves less, we will see strife, turmoil, and unease evaporate from our lives and we will enjoy more harmony, joy, and rest.

This covers the first step to disciplining our minds. Stay tuned for more on Step 6 of igniting the power within when next time we'll talk about the importance of meditation. 

For Reflection

What do you find yourself dwelling on? What causes you stress? How can you replace negative thoughts with thoughts of faith and power? 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, simply enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my weekly posts. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  If you would like to learn more about spiritual growth, check out my other offerings here. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment and share it with your friends. 

Stay tuned for more on how you can ignite the power within and discover your Destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz


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How to Find Joy in the Present Moment

Do you want more joy in your daily life? I know I do. One way to do this is to live in the now because joy is only found in the now, in the present moment, in today. Let's start with some self-reflection. 

How often do you find yourself revisiting the past or ruminating on some future event? I would like to know the statistics on this but I venture to say many of us spend quite a lot of time in someplace other than the present moment. Do you catch yourself when you are going back to the past or worrying about the future? This is where a mindfulness practice can serve us well. 

We resurrect negative past experiences each time we talk about them or revisit them in our minds. We also create anxiety and fear when we worry about a future event that most likely will never happen. Since we've been talking about joy, gratitude, and energy, today I want to talk to you about living in the present moment, which is where peace and joy are found. 

                                    

Personal Story

When I used to teach a yoga class, during Savassana at the end of class, I would give a short verbal meditation. One of my phrases was the above. We have to make a choice to live in today, and see to it as a gift. Each day provides so many opportunities to be thankful. Like my cup of coffee. My morning walk. My ability to cook a delicious dinner. So many people don't acknowledge their blessings and spend their days joyless. Not going to name any names. Now that is a sad existence. Live in the present and be grateful and joyful. The Apostle Paul exhorts us to "Rejoice always"  and "in all things give thanks", so there ya go. 

Living in the Past 

Many of us are held captive by our past. If you've read my first book, "The Power of Faith" you know I have been through quite a lot of traumatic experiences. But, I choose not to let them hold me back from enjoying my life today. Notice the word "choose". If we want to enjoy our lives on a daily basis, we have to make a conscious decision - say decision - to live in the present moment. It's called mindfulness and I have written numerous posts on the topic. Read them here. It's an important skill to learn because our thoughts can be triggered back to some negative event in the blink of an eye and we have to catch ourselves. 

Living in the Future

When we spend too much time thinking about future events, we get caught up in anxieties and worry. What if this happens? What if that happens? What if what if? It's a mental trap that keeps us in a state of constant anxiety. You and I were not meant to live like this. Jesus said to "take every thought captive" instead of allowing our thoughts to take us captive. Things change moment to moment, even the weather. How often when I comment to a neighbor what a beautiful day it is and they reply "It's going to rain this weekend" or "But tomorrow it's going to ..." I say a silent prayer for them. They are living in anxiety and dread of tomorrow instead of enjoying the beauty of today. Don't let that be you. 

Living in the Present 

Now I am not talking about having a Pollyanna worldview. I am well aware of all the negative things going on in our society today, but that does not mean you or I have to dwell on them 24/7. We are each created for a purpose and if we want to fulfill that purpose we need time and energy to achieve that. I call it destiny because I believe we each have a divine destiny to fulfill to help make this world a better place. It may be a grand purpose or a much smaller purpose, but whatever it is remember what Sister Teresa said "Not all of us can do great things, but we can all do small things with great love." This is one of the reasons I write this blog. It is a small thing, done with great love. 

We cannot, however, accomplish our purpose or find joy, if we spend all our time living in the past or the future, holding on to resentment, anger, or unforgiveness. No matter who has hurt us. We are to keep on forgiving but set better boundaries. These separate us from God and keep us at a lower vibration. 

Jesus came to set us free from all of that. Jesus, my friend, represents reality, living in the present moment and true peace. Joy is only found in the present moment and it is up to us to choose it every moment of every day. 

For Reflection

Try this little exercise. Pick a day to focus on your thoughts. Observe how many times you drift into the past or the future. Watch your conversations as well. You may be very surprised. It takes practice staying in the present moment but being aware of when we drift out of it will help us stay there more often. 

I trust you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it. Drop me a note or leave a comment. I enjoy hearing from you. Also, check out my Pinterest boards on mindfulness, peace and faith here. If you have a friend who might enjoy these posts, do share this email with them. They will receive a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". After all, we are here to lead others into the light. 

Until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Part 4: How to Be More Kind and Compassionate to Others

 I've heard it said we are practicing something all the time. The question is: what? Are we practicing kindness? Compassion? Attentiveness? Or something else? This week I am sharing on the three keys to help us all become kinder, more connected, and more compassionate. 

Becoming more mindful is an intentional process that helps us to identify and eradicate negative thoughts that drag us down the depressive, anxious rabbit hole. It helps us to have more self-compassion and less shame and guilt. Instead of shaming ourselves and others, which shuts down the brain centers responsible for growth and learning, using kindness and curiosity releases chemicals in our brains that turn on these centers of learning. 

Practicing mindfulness also can help us find more happiness and joy in our lives and who doesn't want more of these? According to neuroscientist, Dr. Richard Davidson, "Happiness can be trained because the very structure of our brain can be modified." Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. 

This week I'm sharing on the three pillars of mindfulness which are key components to living mindfully. 

1. Intention

Intention helps us identify the "why" behind our actions. It helps us gain clarity on what is truly important to us. Getting really clear on our intention helps us become people of integrity where our actions align with our hearts and our values. Another word for intention might be motivation. Intention helps us reconnect with how we truly want to respond. Simply setting an intention for the day can help us feel happier, more connected, more patient. 

2. Attention

Focus on the present moment by avoiding distractions such as being a slave to your phone or mindlessly watching the boob tube or playing video games. I've heard it said that time is our most valuable commodity but I believe our attention - our presence - is the best gift we can give to an adult, a child, and even a pet. As I used to say to my class when I was a yoga instructor "Today is a gift. That is why they call it the present." And the present moment is truly a gift, never to be had again. 

Multi-tasking is not all it is cracked up to be. I used to pride myself on being a multi-tasker and now, I pride myself on staying present and focused. My, how times change. 

3. Attitude 

Ah, attitude. In this case, the how of mindfulness. The key here is to have an attitude of kindness, curiosity and unconditional love instead of shutting down, imploding or exploding. A good counselor uses these when working with clients. Let go of judgement. Be kind if your mind wanders which is does like 47% of the time. Be curious when it jumps to the past or the future. Stop the self-loathing thoughts and replace them with loving thoughts. Remember, we are all doing the best we can. 

For more on this topic, check out "Good Morning, I love you" by Dr. Shauna Shapiro. 

For Reflection

These three items are the foundation for living a mindful, compassionate life. They work in tandem with each other and can be practiced individually. Which pillar will you address first? Which do you have the most problem with? I'll go first. I need to work on attitude - being more kind and curious both to myself and with others who are not so kind. There, now that wasn't so hard was it:)

If this post was helpful, do share it with a friend, leave a comment or two. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this series. And also, consider joining our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts and a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". And do check out all my offerings on Pinterest. 

Stay tuned for more on mindfulness and living in the present moment. 

Until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz