Part 4: How to Be More Kind and Compassionate to Others

 I've heard it said we are practicing something all the time. The question is: what? Are we practicing kindness? Compassion? Attentiveness? Or something else? This week I am sharing on the three keys to help us all become kinder, more connected, and more compassionate. 

Becoming more mindful is an intentional process that helps us to identify and eradicate negative thoughts that drag us down the depressive, anxious rabbit hole. It helps us to have more self-compassion and less shame and guilt. Instead of shaming ourselves and others, which shuts down the brain centers responsible for growth and learning, using kindness and curiosity releases chemicals in our brains that turn on these centers of learning. 

Practicing mindfulness also can help us find more happiness and joy in our lives and who doesn't want more of these? According to neuroscientist, Dr. Richard Davidson, "Happiness can be trained because the very structure of our brain can be modified." Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. 

This week I'm sharing on the three pillars of mindfulness which are key components to living mindfully. 

1. Intention

Intention helps us identify the "why" behind our actions. It helps us gain clarity on what is truly important to us. Getting really clear on our intention helps us become people of integrity where our actions align with our hearts and our values. Another word for intention might be motivation. Intention helps us reconnect with how we truly want to respond. Simply setting an intention for the day can help us feel happier, more connected, more patient. 

2. Attention

Focus on the present moment by avoiding distractions such as being a slave to your phone or mindlessly watching the boob tube or playing video games. I've heard it said that time is our most valuable commodity but I believe our attention - our presence - is the best gift we can give to an adult, a child, and even a pet. As I used to say to my class when I was a yoga instructor "Today is a gift. That is why they call it the present." And the present moment is truly a gift, never to be had again. 

Multi-tasking is not all it is cracked up to be. I used to pride myself on being a multi-tasker and now, I pride myself on staying present and focused. My, how times change. 

3. Attitude 

Ah, attitude. In this case, the how of mindfulness. The key here is to have an attitude of kindness, curiosity and unconditional love instead of shutting down, imploding or exploding. A good counselor uses these when working with clients. Let go of judgement. Be kind if your mind wanders which is does like 47% of the time. Be curious when it jumps to the past or the future. Stop the self-loathing thoughts and replace them with loving thoughts. Remember, we are all doing the best we can. 

For more on this topic, check out "Good Morning, I love you" by Dr. Shauna Shapiro. 

For Reflection

These three items are the foundation for living a mindful, compassionate life. They work in tandem with each other and can be practiced individually. Which pillar will you address first? Which do you have the most problem with? I'll go first. I need to work on attitude - being more kind and curious both to myself and with others who are not so kind. There, now that wasn't so hard was it:)

If this post was helpful, do share it with a friend, leave a comment or two. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this series. And also, consider joining our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts and a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". And do check out all my offerings on Pinterest. 

Stay tuned for more on mindfulness and living in the present moment. 

Until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Discover Your Destiny - Part 1

Do you ever wonder why you were put on this earth? What your purpose in life is? Perhaps you are stuck in a nowhere job like I was for years, working to pay the bills and support the family, but inside empty and unfulfilled. We each have a destiny and a purpose, but sometimes it takes years for us to figure out what it is. Today's post is about helping you find your destiny and living the fulfilling life you deserve. So let's dig in...

What makes you happy? Going on a nice trip or vacation? Engaging in your favorite hobby, pastime, or sport? Being recognized at work? Sure these all might be enjoyable for the moment, but what I'm asking is what really makes you happy down deep inside? Something that has ETERNAL value. Ever think about that?

Sadly, many never stop to think about such things until disaster strikes and gets their attention. When we realize that everything we have worked so hard for could be wiped out in a matter of minutes, the light bulb goes on and we stop and think. Is what I am doing really worthwhile?

Life is tenuous. It can be snuffed out in an instant. If your life is not making you happy, change it. You have the power and the ability to change whatever you wish. Life is too short to be miserable. Don't settle for the victim woe-is-me mentality.

Here in Maryland we had two tornedo threats this past week. Now tornedos are not something we usually see in Maryland, so it was "an event". As I watched the ominous dark clouds move like the pestilence over my house, I contemplated my life. Life as I know it could be taken out just like that except for the grace and mercy of God.

We all have gifts and talents to offer the world.
I came to the conclusion that what really makes me happy  is what I'm doing now - writing to encourage others. It is my way of giving back and contributing to the world. I hope many people are reading these posts and that I am impacting their lives, but if only one person is encouraged, inspired, or touched then it is worth all my time and effort. It is my offering, so to speak. We all have something we can offer to the world.

Sometimes, our destiny does not unroll like a tapestry before us. We have to be prepared to walk in our purpose. In other words, we have to be healed so we can then focus on being of service.

I think there is a progression to our lives. As I've said before, life is a school and we each have our lessons to learn. This lesson learning often causes our lives veer in another direction before circling back. Not to fret. Everything is for our good and for our growth. Our gifts, like my writing, may lie dormant for years, and then, suddenly appear. We develop a passion for something and it drives us forward. It is our time.

I never had a clue that I would become a writer, create a blog, and publish my own books. I remember getting a 'C' on an English paper in college and was mortified. Who would have thought I would become a writer years later? 

It really is quite magical how this process evolves. Yet God is still in the healing business. As we learn our lessons, we gain insight into what we would really like to do, what goals we would like to achieve, and who we would like to become. Put your gifts to use in some way and they will lead you to your purpose and your destiny.

We are meant to be of service. 

Becoming aware of our unique gifts is the beginning. The next step is to find a way to use them to help or serve others in some way. We are each put here for a purpose and that is to help heal our hurting world. We find a deep sense of connection, gratitude, and purpose which I believe are the ultimate keys to personal happiness and fulfillment.

For Reflection
So again, I ask you - are you happy now? If not, what would make you truly and deeply happy? What change could you make to be more in love with life? Leave a comment below. I'd love to hear from you. 

If you would like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".   always welcome your comments and feedback.

Stay tuned for more positive and practical insights to help us all find healing, wholeness, health, and harmony. Until next time, I wish you joy and happiness and as always,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Stay Content During the Pandemic

During this pandemic, there is a lot going on that can steal our joy, our peace, and our contentment, if we let it. We can focus on all the negativity, the interruption to our routines, and what is wrong with the world to name a few. Or we can choose a different way. Another way which will lead us instead to more peace, more joy and more contentment during these trying times and that is the topic I want to share on today - contentment. 

The apostle Paul talks about contentment and he says this in Phillipians 4:11 "In whatever state I find myself, I have learned to be content." Get that word - learned. He learned to be content. So how do we do this? First, a personal story that prompted this post. 

Personal Story 

Recently I have found myself in a quandary. So many of my friends and neighbors are moving out of state. Many want to avoid the high taxes here in Maryland. Others long for the beach life. Every time I turn around someone else is moving, which caused me to start thinking "Maybe I should consider moving, too". 

I started living in the future, instead of the present. I began to reexamine my priorities and values, which is a good thing, actually, when we are contemplating a big decision like moving. 

Indecision and living in the what ifs of the future are two sure ways to lose our peace. Waffling about a decision for long periods of time muddies the waters of a contented mind and soul. Being an introvert and a highly sensitive person, I think about decisions deeply and I really started to lose my peace and feel discontented. 

After considering what is really and truly important to me, I realized, I already have everything I need to make me happy. I am content right where I am. My priorities have not changed. I could have moved to the beach years ago with the company I worked for, but I chose not to then. I love where I live and have no good reason to uproot myself other than warmer weather, but right now that's not the most motivating factor. My peace returned. So how do we stay content when things around us try to torment us?

Stay in the Present Moment 

In the yogic tradition, one of the five niyamas or observances is samtosha or contentment.  It is fine to imagine how life could be different for a while, but don't let yourself get caught up too frequently in the future and bring your attention back to the present moment. Take a good hard look at your life right where you are at. Start being more aware of all the positives.

For instance, I live in a very convenient location, close to good shopping, amenities, trails, parks, entertainment, and the car wash. I can walk to most of these if I want. Besides, I don't like driving long distances to go someplace nor do I care to spend my days in air conditioning because it is too hot to go outside. 

Notice and enjoy your surroundings - the sounds of birds chirping and the robins flitting here and there. The sound of the tree foliage rustling as the breeze brushes their leaves. The enjoyment of a good glass of wine and a homemade meal, ingredients provided by the nearby grocery store. Let's not take for granted the simple things in life for they truly matter the most. This is YOUR life, not someone else's, and YOU get to decide what makes you happy. 

Practice Gratitude.

Gratitude leads to the path of contentment. When we are always comparing ourselves to other people, we lose our peace and our joy. Instead practice noticing and being thankful for what is in your life right now. Your loved ones. Your friends. Your health. Your indoor toilet. Running water. As I was sitting on my balcony today, I saw a lady being pushed in a wheelchair and reminded me to be thankful for my body and my legs. When we focus on the positives in our lives more than what is missing or what other people are doing, we will be much more content and at peace.

Control Craving 

Remember the story of Adam and Eve? They had access to every tree in the garden except one. And which one did they desire? And what happened after that? We humans have not changed very much since then, have we? Be careful what you dwell on. 

It is when our focus goes awry that we start to feel discontent, disgruntled, and unhappy. Our minds are like monkeys and need to be trained to stay on the right path of thinking instead of jumping hither and thither. 

It is a concious choice we make to control what we think on. In the same passage of Phillipians, Paul exhorts us to "think on what is true, noble, pure, virtuous, and praiseworthy." 

I hope today's post has given you some things to think about. We all have a tendency to let our minds wander and drift but if we want to feel more content, let's try to be more mindful and practice gratitude on a moment to moment basis. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to become part of our community, enter your email in the box provided. You'll receive my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" as well as my weekly posts. 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you find healing, wholeness, and harmony so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Part 3: Happiness or Joy?

We've been talking about joy: what it is, what steals it, and how to have more of it in our lives. Today I'm sharing on the spiritual component of joy and the difference between happiness and joy. Joy is key to living the abundant life and to igniting our personal power. When we lack joy, we are unmotivated. Each day is a chore to get through and that is not how we were meant to live. So let's learn more about joy and happiness.

Happiness depends on circumstances. Happiness is the temporary feeling we get from circumstances, things, and events like attending a concert, visiting a sunny spot to vacation, buying some new trinket or toy. These bring happiness but not necessarily joy. Ask some of the Hollywood rich and famous.

Joy is different. Joy, the older sister of happiness, comes from deep inside our Spirit. Joy is an eternal fountain that waters our souls. It does not depend on our circumstances.  In fact, joy can still be had even during the worst of times.   
Here's a personal story.
My mom recently lost her husband and at 85 years of age, is now dealing with all the stuff of taking care of a huge house, paying the bills, and basically living a single life after 30 years of being married. So I sent her a letter on how to have more joy to help her cope.

"I got your letter", she says. "But I'm not feeling very joyful today."

Notice the key word "feeling".

Well, there you go. Joy is not a feeling.

Joy is a choice and a practice.
Ok, so I know it is not natural to feel joyful when we go through tough times, but we can choose how we feel, rather than let our feelings control us all the time. I'm getting a lot of practice on this myself these days due to some family issues. The fountain of joy stems from the knowledge that God loves us, cares for us, and even though He allows situations into our lives that might not make us "feel" joyful or happy, he always will.  This is where faith comes in - knowing that God is working all things for our good (Romans 8:28). God is in the business of growing us up and many of the tough things that happen in our lives, ultimately, work for our good and our growth. The choice is up to each of us whether to let the lower, negative energies sap our joy and our strength, or whether we will choose joy.

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, which means in each of us has been deposited the seed of joy.
It is up to us to nurture and grow that seed until it becomes the refreshing fountain we so desire. And that takes a bit of work and some practice. We have a part to play in this whole thing too. See last week's posts.

The exciting news is when you combine happiness (outside circumstances) with joy (inner delight) watch your world explode! You will be jumping up and down like I do and people will think you are crazy! Let them!

Have you ever given thought to the difference between happiness and joy? Has this post clarified a few things? If you'd like to join our community and receive my bi-weekly posts,  enter your email in the box provided. You'll also a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

In the meantime, do comment and share with a friend.  I'd love to connect with you.
Stay tuned for more on igniting the power within and discovering YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Are You Happy Now?

"I will be happy when the kids grow up." "I will be happy when I lose 10 pounds." "I will be happy when I retire." "I will be happy when I find a partner." "I will be happy when I earn x$".

Ever hear yourself saying something like this? We are expecting some external circumstance to make us happy. The truth of the matter is that we really don't need ANYTHING to make us happy. Happiness is a mental state of mind that we CHOOSE. As long as we structure our lives on something we cannot control, we will experience pain and unhappiness.

Things will never be totally perfect in our lives. There will always be some area, some relationship, some problem that needs attention. The key, I think, is to not dwell on what is wrong with my life, but what is good in it. Today I went for a walk, took a dip in the pool, and had a nice lunch. These simple pleasures give me great happiness and I am thankful for them all.

Abraham Lincoln once said " People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." Life is too short. Today, will you make a choice to be happy?