On Becoming More Successful Every Day

Success is a goal most of us strive towards; success in our businesses, in our relationships, and in our personal lives. We often focus so much on the external things we need to do to be successful, we neglect the basic daily practices that are foundational to becoming truly successful at life. 

At the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, do you make time to reflect and evaluate how it went? Many of us mark the day as a success if we have checked off everything on our to do list.  There was a time when I was like this too. My then husband used to tell me to "Just put less on your list". Yeah right and I was a working mom with two kids, a husband, a house, and a career to take care of. Do less - right. 

Since those days, I've learned that the to-do list is not what really matters most because we will always have a to-do list no matter what stage of life we are in. We can't sleep at night because there are so many things on our minds, so we drop off to sleep listening to the television, reading a book, or playing a video game and start tomorrow without gleaning the nuggets of wisdom from today.

If we want to grow, move forward, and be the healthiest, most loving person we can be, it is imperative that we take time to reflect every day. Was I calm or anxious? Happy or depressed? Kind or rude? Patient or short-tempered? Did I take time to be a blessing to someone? Was I angry at the grocery store or on the road? How did I speak to my spouse? My kids? And even more telling how did I talk to the customer service rep on the phone?

If we want to increase our personal power and move forward into our destiny, it is important to make time to reflect on our day every day. If we don't we will stay stuck, repeating the same patterns over and over and, as I like to say "Keep repeating the class." 

Many go through life on auto-pilot rushing and reacting. It is easy to do in the fear-based fast-paced culture we live in. We are in such a hurry to get more and more done, yet this stress-ridden lifestyle can kill us. Perhaps the slowing down forced on us by Covid is not such a bad thing. Perhaps it is an opportunity to  figure out what really matters in life at this juncture. 

We were not made to live under constant stress. We put unnecessary pressure on ourselves for what? We only have one life and if we don't enjoy it on a daily basis, what is the point? On my tombstone, I don't want it to read "She got a lot done." 

Personal Story 

A new neighbor I tried to befriend a few years ago, said to me recently as a sort of apology for cancelling on our get togethers several times, "Most people are unaware".

At first, I thought, no, people know exactly what they're doing. But the more I watch the actions of others, the more I realize, yes, some people are so busy rushing they are unaware. 

Another example recently, I brought up the cancelling issue to another long-time friend of mine, and she too, claimed unawareness. I try not to take these things personally, but after repeated occurences you have to wonder how much these people value the friendship so I just let them go. You can't make people change, you can only change yourself and I am all about getting rid of stressors. 

Many people are unaware not only of themselves, their motives, but also how their decisions, words and actions impact other people.  I'm just as guilty at times. Yet, we cannot absolve ourselves by saying we were unaware. If we want to move forward in life, we must take responsibility for ourselves and this starts by slowing down and paying attention to our words and our actions.

We are all in the process of becoming. 

Some of us work at it a bit more consciously than others but we all mess up at times. The key is to notice when we mess up, make time to understand what happened, and make changes to do better next time. This is part of developing our personal power, healing, and becoming whole.

Here are a few questions I ask myself at the end of my day and sometimes in the middle of the day when something goes awry:

- What went wrong?
- Was I fully present or was I on auto-pilot?
- Was I kind? Loving? Gentle? Patient? Joyful?
- What were my motives?
- Was I generous enough?
- Did I laugh?
- Did I serve?
- Was I a blessing?
-Did I stay connected to myself?
-Was I present?

- What frustrated me? What did I do about it? 

If we want to be better tomorrow than we are today, if we want to have more healing, wholeness and harmony in our lives, it starts with igniting the power within. And this starts by becoming more aware of ourselves every moment of the day.

We are here to grow, to love, and to shine our lights to help others do the same. At the same time, we need to work on removing the darkness in our own selves. This takes courage, effort and the grace of God. Let's not be too hard on ourselves, but let's do be more aware.

If you enjoyed this post, and would like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more practical and spiritual wisdom to help you develop your personal power and live the life of your dreams!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

6 Spiritual Tips to Welcome in the New Decade

Are you looking forward to the New Year with anticipation and excitement? Are you happy to close the chapter on 2019 and start reading the new decade ahead? The way our year goes has much to do with our expectations as well as our actions. What we anticipate or expect will eventually appear in our lives. What we put out into the world will come back to us manyfold. Since this is the last post of the decade, I want to leave you with some positive thoughts to contemplate and some actionable items to help us all see more blessing and abundance in our lives in 2020 and beyond.

1. What we dwell on is what will materialize in our lives.
Our thoughts have power. A LOT of power. We have the ability to create the most incredible destinies or not. This is why I emphasize the power of FAITH so much. If we dwell on negativity, doubt, and fear, that is what will manifest itself in our lives. If we want to see miracles, healings, and abundance we have to think on "things above". In other words, we have to envision what we want our life to look like even if we don't see it in the present and even if it seems impossible. This is the essence of faith - believing in things not yet seen. 

2. Be appreciative.  
Practice an attitude of gratitude. I can't stress this enough. When we are thankful, we open the door for more blessings. When we acknowledge and appreciate what we are given, same thing. When was the last time you said "Thank you" to someone? We should be saying it many times a day. And don't forget to say "thank you" to God too! For getting you home safe. For that parking space. For the raise or promotion. All good things come from God. 

Every kind gesture counts. Every acknowledgment is seen. I wave when someone lets me get in front of them in the lane. I say "thank you" for the little things someone does - like sending me a card or calling me to say hello. This shows appreciation. Don't take people for granted. Be appreciative and say thank you more often this year. You will feel so much more joy, I promise.

3. Be generous but wise
Coming from a single parent home and then being a single parent myself, it's taken me time to overcome the lack mentality I grew up with. Now when I tip, I give a little extra. I support numerous charities. I had two sponsor children. One I supported for over 20 years. I give gifts and send cards at holidays, Christmas, and birthdays. I smile. I help people in need. It's a good feeling to help others. 

Being generous is an attitude of the heart. It shows we realize where our blessings come from and that by being generous we keep the flow going. Don't be a Scrooge or a penny-pincher. Frugal yes. Cheap no. Spend on what really matters to you but resist so you can have something left over to be a blessing to others. Do we really have to have the latest and greatest whatever? Do we really need another.....?  Every time I buy something, I get rid of something to help prevent clutter and waste. How we spend our money, like our time, shows what we value. At the end of the year, it is good to ask ourselves "How will I spend my money this year?"

4. Do less, be more.
You've heard me say this before - slow down and do less. It takes a while to sink in, I know. I'm still working on it myself. More time to simply be, to reflect, to contemplate, to be still, to pray. As a single mom, with a demanding career and two growing boys, I was always on the go. Friends would be incredulous at how much I got done. No wasting away the day for me. As the seasons of my life have changed, I have learned the importance - no, the necessity - of slowing down and doing less. We are human beings, not human doings. When we are in such a frantic pace we don't have the patience to be kind, to be thoughtful, to care, to listen, to hear from God. It's all about us. What can you cut out this year to be more in tune with Spirit? 

5. Make peace a priority.
This may be the most important tip of all. Stress is a killer, and if we don't make peace a priority, stress will get the best of us over time and result in a myriad of physical and emotional problems. 

Peace doesn't just happen. We have to make it a priority and make conscious decisions that lead us toward peace. I ask myself "Will this decision, choice, or action bring me peace?" The key is "in the long run". Some actions - like setting boundaries and limits - might not bring us peace in the moment but in the long run they will. This doesn't mean being a door mat either. Peace comes from standing up for yourself and speaking your mind no matter who agrees or disagrees with you. We have to be at peace with ourselves and God before we can be at peace with others. 

I've realized many people don't even realize they are anxious, talk too much or too loudly, or gossip, but they make my blood pressure rise. I've let them go. Eliminate drama queens, energy suckers, and anxiety provoking people and situations. Leave a stress-filled job or relationship. 

Calm is our birthright. Anxiety and stress are not. Choose your friends wisely. If all they want to do is talk about all their problems, suggest they see a counselor. Being a good listener is one thing, but being a dumping bag is another. Practice prayer and meditation. I am practicing mindfulness so I realize sooner when my thoughts start going down the rabbit hole. There are many techniques out there today to help us stay in peace. One of my current favorites is EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - otherwise known as tapping. Check out the Tapping Solution. I find it very helpful and effective. 

6. Follow the joy.
This lesson was a bit less obvious for me to learn, but I got it finally. Joy is a guide in our lives. When we are making a decision, follow the joy. When we need wisdom on what to do, follow the joy. When we don't have joy, ask ourselves "Why not?" It is usually due to a lack of peace. Joy gives us the strength to pursue our destinies and leads us in the path that is best for us. 

Now, don't confuse joy with happiness. (Check out my posts on the difference). Joy is that bubbling up of inner delight and energy. It's when your gut, your intuition, and your Spirit all say "YES"! Scripture confirms this "The joy of the Lord is my Strength" (Neh 8:10). Joy is from being connected to God and His Holy Spirit thru Jesus Christ. It comes when we are at peace with ourselves, others, and God. 

Well, those are my 6 tips to implement this new year and to develop this decade. We all want more peace, more joy, less stress, and more blessings in our lives and these 6 keys will help us achieve all of these as we continue to ignite the power within and discover OUR DESTINY! 

If this post was helpful, join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Until next time, have a wonderful, happy, and healthy New Year and as always, 

Keep looking up!
Ariel Paz

How to Improve Your Communication

Ever get frustrated when you're trying to communicate with someone? Either they don't hear you, they misunderstand, they raise their voice, they go off on a tangent or they make random comments that are not related to the topic at hand.  No doubt about it, communication problems can make or break any relationship. 

Many of us want to blame the other person for a miscommunication but this shifts the focus off of who and what we can change - namely ourselves. We have no power over how the other person communicates and if we want to improve the relationship, we will take ownership over our part of the communication issues.

One of the keys to good communication is understanding that there are different styles of communicating. Some people like to chit chat. Others have a goal or a purpose and are to the point. Some people stick to light topics like the weather and sports or the latest Hollywood gossip.  Others like to discuss philosophical ideas and deeper topics such as religion and psychology. The key is to understand we all have different communication styles and personalities.

Here's a personal story. So my sister and I have not been very close over the years. She's been in another state and communication has been infrequent. Lately, due to my mom's situation, we have a need to talk with each other more regularly. It hasn't been easy. I am from a business background and she is not. We have different levels of education and therefore, different ways of thinking. I like to get to the point and get a problem solved. She likes to meander about whatever is going on in her world, regardless of whether it is relevant to the issue at hand. I get impatient. So, realizing this, I shared my frustrations with her. She got it and said she would try to keep her comments succinct. We shall see. 

If you want to improve your communication with others here are 3 keys to consider:

1) Understand what your style of communication is
     Do you like to chit chat or do you prefer having a purpose or a goal to the             interaction?
     Do you think as you speak or do you reflect first and then speak?
     Do you prefer light conversation or deep topics?
     Are you more analytical or more emotional?
     Do you have to be right all the time?

2) Understand what the other person's style is
     Are they hesitant to open up and share their feelings?
     Are they aggressive and loud and try to overpower you?
     Are they emotional?
     Are they opinionated?

     Do they need to always be in the right?
     Are certain topics too sensitive to be discussed?  

3) Make whatever changes you need to in order to bridge the gap.
    If we want to get along with another person, we must be willing to change. This shows maturity. We don't dig in our heels and say "Well, that's just the way I am". No, we take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves what we can do to get along better with that difficult person in our life. This also shows we CARE about the relationship and we are putting forth EFFORT to make it better.

For more on the different styles of communication check out this article featured in Forbes magazine.

If you're having problems in a relationship, communication may be the root of the problem. Rather than avoiding the person or throwing in the towel and moving on, view the situation as an opportunity for growth. Try sharing your difficulties with them to open up a dialogue for change.  If they care about you and preserving the relationship, they will make the effort.

Love to hear your thoughts on this. Do leave a comment. If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community and receive my weekly emails on personal growth, relationships, spirituality and healing, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more insights on how to achieve healing, wholeness, and harmony so you can enjoy the life you dream of and discover your destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Ignite the Power Within Step 10: Learn the Lesson

Are you moving forward in life? Seeing your goals and dreams become realities? Or are you feeling stuck, joyless and  don't know why? I've felt this way myself at times and have discovered a key factor in moving forward in life. In today's post, I am going to share with you the tenth and last step in the process of igniting your personal power and discovering your destiny. 

Life is a school. We are each here on earth for a purpose and we each have a destiny to fulfill. It is up to us to figure out what that destiny is. Yet sometimes we get sidetracked by mistakes and failures. It happens to all of us but we don't have to allow our mistakes to hold us back.

Look at Donald Trump, who declared bankruptcy several times and is now a presidential candidate. Or Mohammed Ali who was banned from boxing for three years in the prime of his career. Martha Stewart served jail time for lying to federal investigators about a stock sale. All of these people made huge mistakes but then went on to be successful.

In a similar way, we each make mistakes. I married an emotionally abusive and controlling man and went through a devastating divorce. I wound up living my worst nightmare as a single mom in a culture that frowned on divorce and single parents. I learned some hard lessons during this time, but in the end overcame not only the guilt and shame of the breakup and financial ruin, but regained my self-esteem, finances, career and family.

Every mistake or failure carries a lesson with it. After a major ore even a minor failure, it is important to take the time to reflect on:
1. What our part was
2. Why we chose what we did and
3. What we need to change in order to move forward in a better way.

Perhaps you've suffered a heart attack. Now you know to eat better and exercise. Or you've felt the pain of a relationship ending. Now you know to choose more carefully who you get emotionally entangled with. Or you've felt the burden of financial debt, so you readjust your spending habits.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity about our failures, view them as learning opportunities. There is always at least one golden nugget of truth in the trials and tribulations of life.

This completes my 10 step process to igniting your personal power. If you've missed any of the steps, enter  'personal power' in the search box and they will all come up. If you'd like a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Developing Your Spiritual Muscle" enter your email in the box provided. 

Stay tuned and until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel