How to Make More Joy this Season

Welcome to the third week of Advent. This week the focus is on the gift of Joy. It seems to be a buzzword these days. Everybody is looking for more joy but most don't know where to find it. News flash - Joy comes from God! Joy is an inner delight that springs up like a fountain of fresh water despite our circumstances. Let's take a minute and go back to that heavenly night long ago.....

Let's Go Back a Moment 

The shepherds are going about their business of tending their sheep in the dark of the night. When lo and behold, a star appears in the sky and soon angels appear and begin heralding the news of the birth of the Messiah. Imagine the great JOY they must have felt! Intrigued, they follow the star to the place where Mary had just given birth. How do you feel when you see a newborn baby? Imagine if you knew it was the Son of God. 

Back to the Present

The holidays are upon us. Are you feeling it yet? I know the year has been a rough one for several reasons, so this week I am hoping to help you cook up some joy this season. 

We're supposed to be filled with joy but -- sometimes -- joy is hard to come by. Lots of things can try and steal our joy, if we let them: a strained relationship, an illness, a job loss. The list is endless. So today, in this third week of Advent, I am here to cheer you up and help you cook up some joy in your life.

Food and festivities are plentiful this time of year and everyone has a favorite dish or recipe they look forward to. I love hearing what different cultures do for the holidays.  An Italian neighbor of mine makes 500 homemade ravioli every year for her extended family. My oldest loves stromboli and Caesar salad. Greeks make powdered sugar cookies with a clove in the middle. Americans love their eggnog and pecan pie.

Today I'd like to share with you a favorite recipe of mine. I found it in a very old "cook" book known as the Bible. All the ingredients for a happy, healthy, and successful life can be found within its pages.

So if you'd like to cook up some joy this season, follow this simple recipe:

1. Remember you are a unique and one of a kind individual. There is no one else on earth like you and God adores you! (Ps. 139:14)
2. Add a touch of kindness towards others.  This helps us get out of our self-absorbed world and into someone else's shoes. (See Eph. 4:32)
3. Add a hefty dose of prayer to cover everything that is on your mind.(Phil. 4:6)
4. Remove any seeds of worry, fear, negativity, anger, or unforgiveness.(Eph. 4:31) 
5. Stir in positive thoughts about what is true, lovely, noble, pure and helpful.

(See Phil. 4:8)
6. Mix well until you feel peace simmering within.(See John 14:27)
7. Wait for joy to bubble up. True joy is a gift from God and when we are at living at peace with ourselves and God, joy bubbles up like a fountain. (See Romans 15:13)
8. Sprinkle generously with thanksgiving. Be thankful for your many blessings and then turn around and serve a blessing to others. (Phillipians 4:)

No one has a perfect life. It may look like they do from their Facebook or TikTok posts but everyone is fighting some kind of battle. However, we can choose joy despite our circumstances. If you are reading this, chances are you have a roof over your head, a decent income, and plenty of food on your table. That is a lot to be joyful about.

For Reflection 

Joy is the third gift of Christmas. Are you feeling joyful these days? If not, what is stealing your joy? Can you look at things from a different perspective? There is always another way to see things. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my FREE eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path ." 

Give this recipe a try and watch joy bubble up in you! 

Stay tuned for more on healing, wholeness, and harmony to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny.

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How Faith is Good for your Joy and Your Brain

It's Thanksgiving week and we have much to be thankful for. I am thankful for you who are reading this now. I am thankful for technology, for faith, and for a good mind to be able to write this blog. I hope you find it beneficial. 

Difficulties are part and parcel of life and I want to remind us that it is in these difficult times that what we believe - our worldview - is crucial to how we get through the tough times and how we will emerge. 

Stressed out? Cynical? Dwelling on the negative? Or do you instead look for the silver lining in every difficult situation? Every challenge provides a lesson to learn. I have learned that "It's all gift", good or bad. 

Brain Science and Psychology 

I find an interesting correlation between psychology, brain science, and what the Bible teaches. Brain science is evolving and we are learning that we do, in fact, have some control over how we perceive the world. It has to do with what types of thoughts we think on a daily basis. And this is exactly what the Bible teaches, "think on things that are lovely,  pure, noble, excellent of good report". (Phil 4:8 - 9). 

"Hardwiring Happiness" is a book by neuropsychologist and best selling author, Rick Hanson, PhD, and the gist of it is to focus on the good, to take it in, and absorb it more. This is because the human brain is hard-wired since caveman times to focus on the negatives since it was a matter of survival way back then. With each thought we train our brains to be more either more positive or more negative. With every negative thought, we are programming our brains to continue to see and focus on the negative. But there is another way that has been written about for over 2,000 years. 

The Faith Component 

The key to positive outcomes in our lives is not simply based on our thoughts or our intentions, but also by utilizing the power of FAITH - believing in and trusting in a supernatural, all-powerful being who is able to move the mountains we cannot move. We've all encountered situations that are beyond our abilities to conquer and this is where the power of FAITH comes in. 

Faith and the belief in a loving and caring God gives us strength to persevere and carry on no matter how bad things seem at the time. Faith is both a gift and a choice and it is in the tough times that our faith is tested. It is in times of trials that we need something greater than ourselves to put our hopes in. I am a living testimony of how Faith can bring us out of even the worst of storms. 

Personal Story 

Read my inspiring true story of being raised in a dysfunctional family, leaving an emotionally damaging marriage, an ugly divorce, financial ruin and then raising two wounded kids and watching them struggle with addictions and overcoming all of it by the power of Faith.  "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness and harmony"  will encourage and inspire you. Learn how I was transformed from a shy, timid, anxious girl to a woman of faith, confidence, and strength all by the power and grace of God. 

What do you put your hope in, friend? Your job? Your family? Your health? Your 401k? Your smarts? All of these can disappear in an instant  - just look at the story of Job - but faith in God is constant and eternal because God is constant and eternal. 

In fact, Scripture says God rewards those who seek him. Did you get that? REWARDS! I'm up for that. How about you? 

See the Good. 

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong with our life or our world, try focusing on what's right with it. I don't mean being a polyanna because we do need to know what is going on in the world, but we don't have to absorb it or talk about it 24 - 7. Often we take for granted the many gifts we have been blessed with: gifts of freedom, of sight, our abilities to walk, run, cook, dance, be with loved ones and friends, travel and enjoy our children and grand-children. These are all gifts from God. One thing I hope the pandemic taught us was to appreciate all of these more and not take life for granted. 

Let's also remember the Pilgrims who left bondage in England and courageously ventured across the ocean to come to a strange new land and start life afresh and anew. 

Let us do that this season. Let us leave behind us any bondage that keeps us from moving forward and enjoying a life of abundance, peace, and joy. Let us dream a new dream and leave behind any negativity and instead embrace faith, hope, and love. 

Thankful for YOU!

I am thankful for each of you reading and commenting on my blog posts. I am thankful for the gift of faith and the opportunity to write this blog as a way of encouraging and inspiring others. We are all on a journey and I am grateful that you have chosen to travel this journey with me.

Look around you this morning. What do you see? I see the glorious colors of the fall leaves, the sunshine streaming thru my windows, I feel the quiet presence of the Lord after another busy week. The whistle of my new dryer telling me my clothes are dry. The sound of the heat coming from my furnace to keep me warm. Many people struggle simply trying to obtain the basics. I bet if you look around you will notice the same types of things. Truly God is gracious to us!

Let's also make time to reach out, encourage, and bless some who is less fortunate. Donate to a food bank. Take food to an ailing neighbor. Invite a single person over for dinner. We are blessed to be a blessing.

For Reflection
What can you be thankful for this season? What can you do to be a blessing to someone else? Won't you take time today to offer up praise to God, the giver of all good gifts? 1 Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to give thanks. "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

I wish you and yours a healthy, happy, and harmonious Thanksgiving so until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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Three Keys to Enjoying the Abundant Life

Are you living the "abundant life"? What is your definition of the "abundant life"? Recently, a friend asked the question "What is the abundant life?" and I think she meant she needed more money, but living the abundant life is about more than money.

Jesus said "I came so that you can have life and have it more abundantly." (John 10:10). What does this verse mean to you? I think most of us have realized by now that material possessions and more "stuff" will not bring us the fulfillment our soul craves. Money is great and takes care of many of our earthly problems, but it is not the answer to the cry deep within our souls. What happens when a relationship ends? You lose your job? You encounter a health problem? You make a poor decision? What then?

My Definition
I think of the abundant life as this: a life full of joy, provision, inner peace, harmonious relationships, good health, and personal fulfillment and not necessarily in that order. It's about having more of all of these in our lives, not just more money. Money can only do so much and besides, how many of the rich and famous are miserable and turn to drugs and alcohol for relief from their inner pain? One of the reasons I write this blog is for personal fulfillment and giving back as well as to encourage, educate, and inspire others.

The good news is there is a path to achieving this abundant life but it is probably not the path you would think. So today,  I am going to share with you the three-step process that is promised to bring us the abundant life we desire.

We each have challenges. They may be different but each person, as they say, is fighting their own battles. The key to living the abundant life has less to do with our circumstances and more to do with our perspective on our circumstances. 

If you've read my book, "The Power of Faith", you know I've been through quite a lot and, like many of you, I'm still going through some tough stuff. As I often told my mom, "It's always something, Mom. That's life. Get used to it." We have to adjust our expectations and our focus if we want to keep our peace. 

If we think life is supposed to be a bed of roses, remember what Jesus said "In this world you will have troubles, but take heart for I have overcome the world," (John 16:33). Despite the seemingly never-ending onslaught of problems, it is possible to live a life of joy, hope, harmony, and abundance but we have to do our part to make it happen. 

The Apostle Matthew exhorts us to "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matt 6:33). In other words, when we prioritize the spiritual over the material, God will take care of the material. Kind of puts a different spin on things, doesn't it?

Here are three keys I've learned that can put us on the road to the abundant life:

1. Do the right thing.
The first key to living an abundant life is to do the right thing in every area of your life.  This means in our finances, our health, our relationships, on the job. We each have a conscience and we all know what the right thing to do is in most situations. 

Every day we are faced with situations and decisions, and it is up to us to do what is right. The problem is we often fail to do it for one reason or another.  We get sidetracked by our feelings and emotions, our egos, other people, temptations and distractions, laziness. The list goes on. Allowing these to control us will prevent us from making good decisions and living the abundant life we desire.

When we have a choice before us, one of the ways to determine the right thing is to do is to notice which path is harder. The right thing is usually the harder thing. When we do the right thing, it will lead us into peace in the long run.

Notice the phrase "in the long run". We have to take the long view when making decisions. When we act out of emotion, without really thinking things through, we often make poor decisions. Something might feel good in the heat of the moment because it feeds our ego, but what about the lasting effects of that decision? Take time to evaluate "the long run". 

When I need wisdom and guidance, I turn to the Book of Proverbs in the Bible. Or I ask myself "Who in the Bible had a similiar situation and what did they do?" "La condition humaine"  is still the same and people are still dealing with the same kinds of problems they did back in Jesus's day. I can't understand why some people think "the Bible is outdated". It is not. The principles of life and the problems of humanity are universal and timeless. 

If we want to do the right thing, it would behoove us to ask God about it. His advice is reliable. Not everyone else's is. In fact, we can drive ourselves crazy asking everyone their opinion. When was the last time you asked God for his opinion on something? 

2. Work towards peace and unity. 
Peace is an integral key to the abundant life. There are a lot of things in this world that can steal our peace, if we let them. Relationships can steal our peace. Unfair treatment can steal our peace. Our own thoughts steal our peace.

What we often fail to realize is that Peace doesn't just happen on its own. We have to work towards it and it has to be a joint effort with those around us. This is what unity is all about. Everyone needs to be on the same page. We will never achieve peace by refusing to change, trying to blame or control others, digging our heels in, or isolating ourselves. 

Personal Story 
As a child of an alcoholic father, there was no peace in our home. I learned that chaos was the norm and so I allowed that into my marriage and my dating relationships after that. Recently I came to the sad realization that most of my family members don't care about working towards peace either but you know what - we can't control others. All we can control is ourselves. And that in and of itself brings peace. 

One evening while I was soaking in the tub, the Holy Spirit said to me. "Whatever you bind on earth, shall be bound in Heaven, and whatever you allow on earth, shall be allowed in Heaven." (Matt 18:18).  It was a revelation! I needed to stop allowing other people's behavior to steal my peace if I wanted to live the abundant life. This is the importance of memorizing scripture, so that the Holy Spirit can bring it to our conscious awareness when we need it. 

I have found that a major key to peace is to set firmer boundaries with others. If I am overwhelmed, I need to say no more often. If I am being treated poorly, I need to stop allowing it and confront the other person. If someone does me wrong, I need to put a stop to it immediately - not let it go on and on. In the past,  I have made the mistake of allowing mistreatment from close relatives and boyfriends. This is both enabling and unhealthy. It sends the message "It's okay to treat her this way." when no , it is not. It does not matter who it is, we should not tolerate verbal or emotional abuse from anyone.  If someone is not willing to treat you right, let them walk away and live in peace!

When we achieve peace in our hearts, and in our minds, then we will begin to experience that delicious feeling everyone is searching for - Joy!

3. Keep the joy flowing. 
First let's be clear: joy is not the same thing as happiness. Happiness depends on our circumstances which may not always be pleasant, but we can still experience Joy. How?

First, we have to make sure we have done steps one and two. We are doing the right things which means keeping our consciences clear. We do not harbor bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness. Even then we don't always feel joyful. When we start to feel down, lonely, hopeless, frustrated etc, there is something we can do to feel joy when we remember that joy is a gift from God alone.

God wants us to have joy and he gave us a way to access that joy. It involves turning our focus from our circumstances and onto a holy, loving miracle-working God. No matter what has happened the day before, I start my day by singing and praising God. This is called WORSHIP.

Worship brings us into the presence of God who is the source of all joy. Worship lifts the heaviness that may be trying to take us down. Worship dispels darkness and brings in the light. It is a spiritual principle. I do not understand exactly how it works, but I do know it works. It may be the last thing we feel like doing, but when we praise God we get his attention and he sends his angels to assist us in our time of need.

When we choose to uplift the Creator of the universe, we lift our energy to a higher vibration if that language resonates with you. Expressing gratitude also raises our vibration. Praise and worship remind us that God is with us and that we are alive on this earth for a unique purpose. Hope is restored. 

Despite the difficult circumstances we all have to endure, we can still have joy because we know and trust Who is really in control of our lives. God has a good plan for each of us and although the plot may twist and turn, we can trust that the ending will be good.

So there you have them: the three keys to living the abundant life. The kingdom of heaven is within. All we have to do is follow these three steps and most importantly - BELIEVE - that it is possible for each of us to enjoy the abundant life. After all, that is what Jesus died for us to have!

For Reflection

Where would you like to see more abundance? Your job? Your finances? Your relationships? Start by doing the right thing, even when the wrong thing is easier. Choose peace over strife and finally start giving God praise for all your blessings and watch the abundance flow in. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our blog community plus receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled " 7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email in the box provided. Feel free to share with a friend and leave a comment below. I love to hear from you and appreciate you taking time to read and comment.  

If you'd like to learn more about how to find the abundant life, check out my true story of how I went from stress and anxiety to peace and joy. "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness, and harmony. Ebook format available on Amazon and your favorite online bookseller as well as hard and paper-back copies. Audio book format is available on Google Play. 

Stay tuned for more tips to help us all find more peace and joy this season!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

This material is copy-righted. 

6 Easy Ways to Get Your Joy Back - Part 2

"How am I feeling this morning?" This is a good question to ask ourselves before we start our day. "Am I feeling joyful?" If we don't mindfully check in with ourselves we'll go around feeling blah and we'll turn to distractions, alcohol, shopping or some other addictive behavior to make us feel better. If we aren't feeling the joy of the Lord, something is wrong so what to do about it? This week I'm sharing 3 more steps to getting our joy back. 

How high is your joy meter today? High, low, or medium? Things can happen in a minute that can steal our joy, which is where mindfulness and faith come in. It's a question of being aware of when something irritates us and then making a mindful decision whether we are going to let it get to us. 

Joy flows in and through us on a daily basis but we must make a conscious decision to keep our joy and not get aggravated at every little thing: the elderly mom, the rebellious kids, the traffic, the boss, the list is endless. 

Today I am sharing the next 3 tips as promised. If you missed the first 3 tips for getting your joy back, here is the post again. 

                                               

Tip #4: Pay attention to your thoughts. 

Here's a quick mindfulness practice I do every morning to get in the right frame of mind. As soon as my eyes open, I declare this verse - out loud:  "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24). Notice the emphasis on the words "I will". This indicates I am making a conscious DECISION to be joyful. We must be deliberate about our frame of mind, if we want to stay joyful on a daily basis and into our later years. 

Do you find yourself dwelling on the same issue or person for days or nights on end? Picture a car stuck in a ditch with the wheels whirling and whirling. This is what our minds are doing when we ruminate or over-think and it is a joy-stealer. When we spin our mental wheels trying to figure something out or solve a problem that has no solution, this burns us out mentally and energetically. It can also cause headaches and migraines. I know this from first-hand experience. 

How to Avoid Overthinking
There are two ways to get out of the overthinking cycle. 

1) decide on an action to take in the moment. Taking some type of action takes the pressure off and makes us feel less out of control of the situation. 

2) realize we are overthinking something and decide to put the issue on the back burner till we get clarity. This takes the pressure off and I'm all about taking the pressure off. 

I know this is tough, but we are not in control of the when the answers will come.  We need to learn to trust in God to reveal them in HIS timing, not ours. It's another opportunity to practice letting go.

Exercise Your Faith

Another example I had to deal with last year was what to do about my 94 yr old mother who fractured her back. Without going into all the details, there were a lot of factors to consider, as anyone who has elderly parents knows. I assured my sister and my mother, who were both freaking out, that we would figure it out slowly. I kept saying "Let's stay in today" to calm them down.

Actually, I am pretty proud of myself that I did stay so composed and in the moment and did not freak out. I trusted that God would show us the way and he did. She went to rehab which she hated and then I found her an assisted living facility that served her chocolate cake the first day she got there. Her comment was "I should have done this years ago." It is in these types of critical, stressful situations that Faith and a spiritual practice pays off, friends. A spiritual practice helps us to not freak out when uncertainty hits and answers are complicated because we have a God who cares. 

Practice Mindfulness Daily
The natural state of our mind is to be peaceful but there are so many things to worry/stress/think about in every day life. Scripture exhorts us to "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). This means to pay attention to what we're thinking about. Our thoughts can take us down the proverbial rabbit hole if we don't learn how to be mindful and take control of them.   

The good news is practicing mindfulness helps us to be more aware of our thoughts and our emotions. We need to catch ourselves ruminating or dwelling on negative topics and bring ourselves back to the present moment, the here and now, because that is where JOY is found. Joy is not found in yesterday or tomorrow, folks. By practicing spiritual techniques (Check out my new ebook, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth), slowly, the grooves in our brains will be rewired and we will have better thinking patterns over time.

No matter what thoughts pop into my head, I remind myself of the truths I believe in. "Lord, I know you see this situation. It might not look good to me right now, but your word says you work all things out for my good. I will take responsibility for my thoughts, decisions, and actions. I will stay in peace and trust you to guide me. I will rejoice and be glad today. I will take care of myself and set firm boundaries. Thank you, Lord." This helps strengthen my spiritual muscle and keeps my peace and joy. 

Tip #5: Have some fun. 
As a single parent of two growing boys for many years combined with a full-time career plus grad school, it was hard to find time to have fun. Even now as an older single lady with few friends, it is hard to find time to have fun. Now I will admit having fun has changed over the years. I used to love to go ballroom dancing, or any kind of dancing for that matter. Now fun is enjoying the pool, working on my blog or my lettering, making a good dinner. Fun is something you choose to do that is pleasurable that keeps you in the present moment. What do you like to do for fun these days?

Keep Play in the Picture 
No matter how busy we might be, however, play is vital to our well-being. (See #5 in my recent book "Take Back Your Life". )  Some of us, including me, are so responsible, we have to schedule downtime and play into our to-do lists. As I write this I am thinking when was the last time I played...does watching a soccer game fall into the play category? I think so. 

Others play too much and neglect their responsibilities as well as their health. We need to find balance in our daily lives if we want to keep our joy. Having fun makes room for joy to pop back up because it lets the pressure out of the pot. 

What do you like to do? What takes your mind off your problems and brings you into the present moment? Choose a healthy activity that will restore and energize you, instead of depleting you or taking you out of the present moment like watching the boob tube or playing video games. Something out of doors is always good this time of year.  Walking is a great way to let go of stress and get a bit of exercise and fresh air. Team up with a friend or loved one if you can. Or maybe go for a bike ride, or do some gardening. Even a half hour will do you a world of good and help you clear your mind and reconnect with your joy.  

Tip #6: Let go of control. 
We all like to be in control. My issue stems from being raised in a chaotic home, where everything was out of control, but most of us want to be "in control" to some degree. The truth is there are only a handful of things that are truly under our control. Much of life - aka other people - are not and the sooner we come to understand this, the more peace and less stress we will have.  

Do what you can to attend to any given situation (if you need to) and then give it to God. Notice we have a part in fixing our problems. We can't just throw up our hands and say "Well, God will take care of it." When we do what we can, God will do what we can't. This is where faith, patience and obedience come in. 

If you want more peace in your daily life, learn how and when to let go. I talk about all the ins and outs of letting go of control in my new book, "Ignite the Power Within." Letting go is a spiritual practice and if you don't know what it is, how it applies to your life, or how to do it, I encourage you to order my new book and learn more today.

So there you have my 6 tips to getting your joy back.  
We all go through difficult situations and I'm certainly not minimizing what you or I are going through right now, but I have learned that stuff will ALWAYS keep coming at us. As author, Sonia Choquette says in her book "Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose", "We are souls on a journey to heal, grow and evolve and these trials are our tests to pass".  It is up to us to decide how each situation will affect us and how we will respond to it. The quicker we can let go of unhappy, negative thoughts, the more we can enjoy each day.

Reflection:
How about you? Is there something or someone stealing your joy right now? Are you feeling overwhelmed with all your responsibilities? What changes do you need to make to have more peace and joy? Don't let the challenges of life steal either one. Make a decision to let go of control and enjoy each day for the gift it is. That's why they call it "the present".

If this article was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, pop on over to Pinterest to check out my collection on health and wellness, fashion, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

 

6 Easy Ways to Get Your Joy Back - Part 1

We all have tough days, weeks, sometimes months. Job stress, no time to exercise, family responsibilities or perhaps a run in with a loved one can all cause us to lose our peace and our joy. I can relate. So many things can happen in the course of any given day that can steal our joy, if we allow them to. It is important to be mindful of how and what we are feeling in the present moment and then take constructive steps to deal with the issue so we can get our joy back. 

We are meant to live vibrant, joyful, energetic lives, no matter what age we are. Now that is not fantasy nor is it unrealistic. Sure, we all have down days, but the key is to have less of them. So this week, I'm sharing the first 3 out of 6 strategies I use to maintain my joy but first, a recent personal anecdote you may relate to and how I handled it. 

Personal Story:  

So I did not hear from my son over the Easter holiday. Not a card, not a phone call. Not even a text message. I was disappointed and hurt and I felt it. It was a choice to say nothing or to say something. So rather than stew for days, I decided to email him (a non-invasive method) and express my feelings. He has a lot going on right now and apologized. He also thanked me for sharing my feelings. Wow.

This courageous act of sending an honest email opened up the lines of communication. And my joy returned! I don't like feeling upset or angry at someone so I try my best to clear the air as soon as possible. The Bible says "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Eph 4:26 - 32)

Awareness is Key 

Most people are not aware of how their actions - or non-action - may hurt you. They are too wrapped up in their own lives and problems to think about you. It is up to us to let people know how we are feeling. People are not mind-readers so don't expect them to be. It is up to us to teach people how we want to be treated. If the other person cares about you, honest communication will get the issue out in the open and help clear the air. 

The key is to be more aware of what things are stressing us out and do something about them before we go Kaboom or take it out on other people! Anger management - or the lack thereof - is a huge problem in our world today. Just watch the evening news.  

So here are the first 3 tips on how to try to keep our joy on an everyday basis:

1. Realize you have lost your joy. 
If we're not careful we can become glum and not even realize it. Look in the mirror. Are you smiling? Humming? Or am I ruminating on some situation or person? Am I staying in too much? Sleeping too much? Lack energy? We can get so bogged down by the trials of life, we lose our joy, often without realizing it. The question is - are any of these things worth losing my joy over and the answer is NO! 

"But, you don't know what I'm dealing with," some retort. No, I don't but we are all fighting our own battles, no matter what they may be and we are each responsible for managing our own stress levels. 

If you find yourself constantly dumping your woes on others, blaming loved ones, or always finding fault and complaining, you might want to consider getting counseling.  Better Help is an online counseling service you might want to look into to help you through a rough patch. 

2. Step away from the stress.
When we realize we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, it's time to break the stress cycle and get away mentally. If possible, put some distance between you and the situation or the other person. Agree to take a time-out temporarily. Focus on yourself rather than the frustrating situation. Get a workout in, listen to music, make a nice dinner, get together with friends. Do something that puts you in the "zone". These all help to let the steam out of the pot and give you a break from dealing with the situation or person until emotions have cooled and you are in a better place.

I've learned that when other people are stressed they often take it out on an innocent bystander (usually the person closest to them) and it is best to set a boundary - sooner rather than later - with them to protect our peace and our mental and physical health. I'm still getting practice at this one with my youngest son who pushes my boundaries constantly. 

3. Make time for self-care. 
Self-care is not selfish, I don't care what anyone says. If we don't take good care of ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually, we are less able mentally and emotionally to deal with others. We have to start with a full bucket. Take a hot Epsom salts bath or go to a steam room or sauna.  Give yourself some quiet time. Polish your nails, gals. Get some exercise and get moving - go for a run, a walk, a bike ride or a swim. Guys, get thee to the gym, go for a bike ride, or hit the golf course.

Exercise moves negative energy out of your body. 

When the pressures and problems of the world crowd in on us, it's time to get alone and get the energy moving out of our bodies,  clear our minds, and then we will be able to listen to that still small voice that gives us guidance when we need it.  

Reflection:

Is there some situation or someone stealing your joy? Can you implement one or more of these tips to feel more joyful today? What can you do to process your emotions and let off steam? 

If this post was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly encouraging posts, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, pop on over to Pinterest to check out my collection of pins on blog posts, health and wellness, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for the next post in this series when I share the next 3 tips to getting your joy back. Let's help each other ignite the power within!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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4 Practical Ways to Have More Joy

There's a lot going on in our lives and in the world that can steal our peace and our joy, like family, work, health issues, the economy, you name it. There is, however, one thing we can do to stay positive and that is what we will talk about in this week's post. But first let's take a look at the brain. 

The Brain's Negativity Bias 

Did you know our brains have a bias for negativity? This means we naturally pay more attention to negative thoughts, emotions, and events. We bring up the negative past. We worry about "what could happen" in the future. We dredge up unhappy past events and relive them in the present moment stealing our joy and our peace yet again. This bias explains why news coverage is predominantly negative. The media uses this psychological tendency to grasp and focus our attention. It's like a sabotage of our minds and we need to be on guard against it. 

What to Do

Now I am not saying ignore the events of the world or don't watch the news, although some people choose to do just that. What I am saying is that we must realize the impact of the world and the media on our thoughts, emotions and actions. This all means we have to make a conscious effort to keep a positive mental attitude. It is another area where mindfulness can serve us. For a better understanding of how the brain works, some examples of negative bias, and some interesting TEDTalks, check out this link. 

The good news is there are some things we can do to fight against this overwhelming negativity to keep our peace and our joy.

                                    

                                    

                                

Here are 4 tips to help you develop an attitude of gratitude:

1. Appreciate the Every Day Stuff 

Often we take for granted so many things like being able to go out to dinner with friends or family, our water supply, full grocery aisles, our sight, our health, our bodies, even our jobs. My hope is that the pandemic helped us all become more grateful for the every day stuff we usually take for granted. 

I did a guided gratitude meditation this morning and it was so uplifting. The leader reminded us to be grateful for our food and the people who grow it, for our grocery stores, for all the people who work to support us in life. 

Personally

I am thankful that the sun was shining through my windows when I woke up this morning. I am thankful my body is feeling good enough to get back to Pilates classes. I am thankful I am able to write these blog posts so I can be of service to others.

I am thankful for the ability to cook and make nice meals. (Shameless plug for my Mediterranean cookbook :) I am thankful I could afford to replace my 20+ year old HVAC system this week. I am thankful my son moved back to Maryland after 12 years in Texas. Are there tough things in life? For sure. But the trick is what we focus on. 

2. Start a Gratitude Tradition 

There are many ways to become more conscious of our blessings. One is gratitude traditions. 

A tradition I started at my house many years ago was to put out a small basket with a pad of paper and a pen next to it on the first of November. The basket is known as the "Blessing Basket". Each day in the month of November, each member of the household and whoever comes into my home that day is asked to write down one thing for which they are grateful for and put it in the basket. I like to see how people have to stop and think before they find something to write down. 

It can be anything, but the idea is to become more aware of the many blessings we each have on a daily basis. Then on Thanksgiving Day, we read all the slips of paper. They are anonymous of course, but it makes us realize how truly we are blessed despite the challenges we are all going through. 

In our house, there are always one or two blessings that make everyone laugh. One year, my youngest son wrote "I am thankful for pressure or I wouldn't get anything done." Now there's a different perspective. 

                        
                   

3. Appreciate Others
Everyone wants to be appreciated and valued. Too often we take people for granted - our parents, our spouse, our friends, the people who serve us. Take time to tell someone how much you appreciate them today. Make someone feel valued. Thank people for the little things. When we are thankful, we show God we appreciate the blessings and people we have been given and we open the door for more abundance to flow to us. 

A simple complement may turn someone's day around. We never know what people are going through. I make a habit of complementing men on their ties or shirt. I notice when someone has been working out or got a new haircut. I complement women on their hair, their outfit, their nails. I thank the customer service rep no matter if they have been helpful or not. I try to give a bigger tip than is required. When I see a smile on someone's face, I know I have been successful in lifting them up and that increases not only their joy level, but mine as well.  

My latest thing is to not leave someone upset or down. This is not an easy thing to do especially when they or a situation has caused me a lot of aggravation but what good is it to leave someone on a bad note? If the conversation goes south or if I have to bring up a sensitive subject, I try to add an upnote by thanking them, making a joke, or somehow turning to a more positive topic. I get off the phone feeling good about myself as a human being who has not caused another human being to suffer. 

4. Recognize Your Blessings 
It's easy to take people and things for granted. We get used to having them around, having food in the grocery store aisles, being free to travel, but when a crisis such as the pandemic or some other crisis hits, it gets our attention. As in the case of the pandemic, we no longer had the ability or the freedom to get together with family, travel, or find full grocery aisles.  Let's not forget the lesson that crisis taught us. 

These days we are fighting inflation and speaking of groceries, everything has gone up, including gas, eggs, rent, and the price of a haircut. Life has its challenges, that is for sure and it is up to us to decide what we will focus on - the positives or the negatives. If we want to remain joyful, we will choose the former. 

It is a choice we have every moment of every day. Abraham Lincoln once said "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

Most of all, I am thankful for the love, grace, and constant mercy of God. He has brought me through so much and so I am devoting the rest of my life to sharing that love, grace, and mercy with you through this blog and writing books. 

For Reflection

What everyday things are you thankful for? By taking note of them on a daily basis, we train our brains and our neural pathways slowly but surely to dwell more on our blessings instead of our woes. A positive focus also helps alleviate anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Remember - what you focus on gets magnified. 

If you want to feel more joy on a daily basis, here are some tips to help you get started. Every night before going to bed, name 3 things you are grateful for. I say them out loud or write them in my journal. Gratitude increases your energy and your joy so start and end each day by giving thanks for something or someone in your life. 

When we learn to develop an "attitude of gratitude", our outlook on life changes and we are better able to handle the difficult circumstances of life when they arise. This is why the Apostle Paul encourages us "In all things, give thanks" (1 Thess 5:18). There is always a silver lining to life's challenges. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided to the right. You will also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  Also, check out my newest ebook, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth". In it I share ten steps that will help you grow spiritually, become more mindful, and have more peace and joy. Do leave a review when you're done and pass it on to a friend. 

Until next time, remember: you are blessed to be a blessing.

As always,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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6 Ways to Stay Positive in a Negative World - Part 2

Joy. It's a commodity we all want more of, yes? Joy gives us energy. It lifts our spirits and it helps us enjoy life more. Last week I shared three tips on how to have more joy and stay positive on a regular basis. This week I'm sharing the next three tips, since I am trying to make these posts shorter because I know you are a busy person, but want to make your spiritual growth a priority. 

                                       

4. Refuse to Dwell on Negative Situations
As I mentioned last week, when we rehash negative situations especially from the past, we steal the joy from the present moment. Often, we rehash these events in our minds as well as to others. Don't let this be you. The Bible exhorts us to "set our minds on things above" (Col 3:1). For more on how to do this, click here.  This is why mindfulness is so important. We have to "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). Mindfulness helps us to be more conscious of our thoughts and by making a conscious choice to think on things above, we can stay positive and joyful rather than allowing daily events and other people's problems and circumstances to drag us down and steal our energy. 

5. Put Things in Perspective
A phrase from Al-Anon that I find helpful is to ask myself the question, "How important is it?" Most of the stuff that annoys us on a daily basis is pretty trivial in the big scheme of things, isn't it? It helps to put difficult situations into perspective. As I say in my book, "The Power of Faith", there is always another way to view the negative circumstances of life. I choose to look at them as stepping stones to my growth and to my destiny. When things go awry, I ask myself this question "What can I learn from this?" Things like family conflict and big things like the pandemic and the stock market, which are out of our control, all have lessons to teach us. The question is will we make time to figure out what that lesson is?

Life will always have positives and negatives. It's up to us which we will focus on. We can choose to focus on the good things that happen to us during the course of the day or the bad things. It is a choice we all have to make, whether we realize it or not. What we focus on determines the level of joy in our lives because negative thoughts suck our energy.

6. Do Something Fun
Now remember fun is different from joy. Fun refers to something external. Joy is internal. As a single parent and the oldest child of an alcoholic, I have always been very responsible. Okay, I admit it - too responsible. I have felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders most of my life. I'm realizing that the weight of the world can only rest on God's shoulders; mine are far too weak to bear so much. It is important to have a healthy balance between responsibility and fun. When we feel like we have lost our joy, it's time to go out and do something fun to clear the path for joy to flow. 

Personal Story 
I like to dance. Years ago, someone once told me it is a joy to watch me dance. I thought that was such a nice complement. Dancing not only brings me joy but it brings other people joy as well. It's a win-win scenario.  When the beat of the music is so exhilarating I can't help but move and I guess my joy emanates out to others. 

For Reflection 

What do you like to do for fun? What steals your joy? What situation do you need to let go of to have more peace? Do leave a comment and let us know. 

If you enjoyed this post, consider joining our community by entering your email in the box above. You'll receive my weekly newsletter plus a copy of my NEW and FREE e-guide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice".  To further your spiritual growth, check out my collection of books here. 

Stay tuned for for more tips on staying positive and faith-filled so you can discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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Ignite the Power Within Step 3: Make Room for What Really Matters

Most of us lead pretty full lives, yes? We are always on the go. Our to do lists are never ending and the activities never ceasing. But yet, in those still quiet moments, we get that gnawing feeling that somehow we are unfulfilled and we have lost our joy. We really don't know what's important anymore. Ever feel that way?

It happens to all of of us from time to time. It's kind of like when our closets are bulging with beautiful clothes. We stand there in confusion wondering what to wear. How can we decide what's important when our closets and our lives are so cluttered?

If the rooms of our lives are so full of stuff i.e activities, how can we possibly know and then make room for what truly matters? Begin by getting rid of what is no longer useful.

Every 6 months or so, I ask myself this question "What am I holding on to that I no longer need? and then I begin an inventory of my life. I start with the easy and mundane like my kitchen drawers and cabinets. Then I move on to the house and closets. Then it's time to analyze the deeper things like my priorities, activities, habits and thought patterns, and relationships. Which of these are no longer useful or bearing fruit?

To be honest, I have been guilty of holding on to cars, jobs, and some relationships for far too long. I've held on to negative thought patterns as well. The result of trying to hold on to something or someone that God was trying to get me to let go of was stress and anxiety. We are not meant to live all stressed out but it does take some effort to figure out what needs to go. 

The key is to realize when I am holding on to something that is non-productive sooner rather than later, and then - let it go! When we let go of something  people and activities that no longer serve us, we make room for something better to come along like JOY! So why do we hold on so long?

It comes back to that ugly four-letter word - fear. Remember, we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7). Let's not shrink back in fear of letting go of something or someone that is not good for us. God always has something better He is waiting to give us, but we must have open hands to receive it. Let go of the "I must do all this" or "I should do this"  mentality and instead, reframe your life into "I want to do this". See what a difference it will make in your life.

For Reflection
What is it that you are holding on to that is no longer bearing fruit? A job? A relationship? Stuff in your garage or closets?

Today, I encourage you to take a step of faith to let go of whatever it is that is holding you back from receiving what really matters to you. If we want new things to come into our lives, we need to make room for them, just like in our closets. Take time to reevaluate your priorities and decide if it's time to let go of something or someone.

If you enjoyed this post and like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my weekly posts.  I'll also send you my free guide entitled

"7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to get you started. And do check out my many offerings on Pinterest. 

Until next time, stay connected and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz  

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