How Faith is Good for your Joy and Your Brain

It's Thanksgiving week and we have much to be thankful for. I am thankful for you who are reading this now. I am thankful for technology, for faith, and for a good mind to be able to write this blog. I hope you find it beneficial. 

Difficulties are part and parcel of life and I want to remind us that it is in these difficult times that what we believe - our worldview - is crucial to how we get through the tough times and how we will emerge. 

Stressed out? Cynical? Dwelling on the negative? Or do you instead look for the silver lining in every difficult situation? Every challenge provides a lesson to learn. I have learned that "It's all gift", good or bad. 

Brain Science and Psychology 

I find an interesting correlation between psychology, brain science, and what the Bible teaches. Brain science is evolving and we are learning that we do, in fact, have some control over how we perceive the world. It has to do with what types of thoughts we think on a daily basis. And this is exactly what the Bible teaches, "think on things that are lovely,  pure, noble, excellent of good report". (Phil 4:8 - 9). 

"Hardwiring Happiness" is a book by neuropsychologist and best selling author, Rick Hanson, PhD, and the gist of it is to focus on the good, to take it in, and absorb it more. This is because the human brain is hard-wired since caveman times to focus on the negatives since it was a matter of survival way back then. With each thought we train our brains to be more either more positive or more negative. With every negative thought, we are programming our brains to continue to see and focus on the negative. But there is another way that has been written about for over 2,000 years. 

The Faith Component 

The key to positive outcomes in our lives is not simply based on our thoughts or our intentions, but also by utilizing the power of FAITH - believing in and trusting in a supernatural, all-powerful being who is able to move the mountains we cannot move. We've all encountered situations that are beyond our abilities to conquer and this is where the power of FAITH comes in. 

Faith and the belief in a loving and caring God gives us strength to persevere and carry on no matter how bad things seem at the time. Faith is both a gift and a choice and it is in the tough times that our faith is tested. It is in times of trials that we need something greater than ourselves to put our hopes in. I am a living testimony of how Faith can bring us out of even the worst of storms. 

Personal Story 

Read my inspiring true story of being raised in a dysfunctional family, leaving an emotionally damaging marriage, an ugly divorce, financial ruin and then raising two wounded kids and watching them struggle with addictions and overcoming all of it by the power of Faith.  "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness and harmony"  will encourage and inspire you. Learn how I was transformed from a shy, timid, anxious girl to a woman of faith, confidence, and strength all by the power and grace of God. 

What do you put your hope in, friend? Your job? Your family? Your health? Your 401k? Your smarts? All of these can disappear in an instant  - just look at the story of Job - but faith in God is constant and eternal because God is constant and eternal. 

In fact, Scripture says God rewards those who seek him. Did you get that? REWARDS! I'm up for that. How about you? 

See the Good. 

Instead of dwelling on what is wrong with our life or our world, try focusing on what's right with it. I don't mean being a polyanna because we do need to know what is going on in the world, but we don't have to absorb it or talk about it 24 - 7. Often we take for granted the many gifts we have been blessed with: gifts of freedom, of sight, our abilities to walk, run, cook, dance, be with loved ones and friends, travel and enjoy our children and grand-children. These are all gifts from God. One thing I hope the pandemic taught us was to appreciate all of these more and not take life for granted. 

Let's also remember the Pilgrims who left bondage in England and courageously ventured across the ocean to come to a strange new land and start life afresh and anew. 

Let us do that this season. Let us leave behind us any bondage that keeps us from moving forward and enjoying a life of abundance, peace, and joy. Let us dream a new dream and leave behind any negativity and instead embrace faith, hope, and love. 

Thankful for YOU!

I am thankful for each of you reading and commenting on my blog posts. I am thankful for the gift of faith and the opportunity to write this blog as a way of encouraging and inspiring others. We are all on a journey and I am grateful that you have chosen to travel this journey with me.

Look around you this morning. What do you see? I see the glorious colors of the fall leaves, the sunshine streaming thru my windows, I feel the quiet presence of the Lord after another busy week. The whistle of my new dryer telling me my clothes are dry. The sound of the heat coming from my furnace to keep me warm. Many people struggle simply trying to obtain the basics. I bet if you look around you will notice the same types of things. Truly God is gracious to us!

Let's also make time to reach out, encourage, and bless some who is less fortunate. Donate to a food bank. Take food to an ailing neighbor. Invite a single person over for dinner. We are blessed to be a blessing.

For Reflection
What can you be thankful for this season? What can you do to be a blessing to someone else? Won't you take time today to offer up praise to God, the giver of all good gifts? 1 Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to give thanks. "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

I wish you and yours a healthy, happy, and harmonious Thanksgiving so until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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Ignite the Power Within: 3 Ways to Surrender More - Part 3

Are you a control freak? Do you always have to run the show? Have things your way?  Most people have control issues, some to a greater degree than others. Stress makes us more controlling. Today's post is the third in my series on letting go and control. Today we'll be talking about how to surrender so we can have more peace and serenity despite what happens in our daily lives.

The human tendency is to want to control. If you were raised in a chaotic home environment like I was, control becomes a coping mechanism to help us manage our lives. This learned behavior then spills over into other areas. We often don't realize we are controlling until someone points it out to us or we feel stressed out a lot of the time.  There are some things we can do to let go of the reins and relax more.

Here are 3 ways we can learn to surrender more:

1. Stop trying to figure everything out.

I think the smarter a person is, the more difficult time they have with this. I have a friend who some might describe as "flighty". She has no problem with control. She doesn't try to figure anything out. The problem there is she doesn't take responsibility for herself. I, on the other hand, am always trying to figure things out. I think it also comes from my being an analyst for 30+ years. I learned that way of thinking on my job. Recently,  I have had to unlearn that thinking pattern and learn how to come to grips with not knowing all the answers. It really does take the pressure off when we stop trying to figure everything out.

2. Stop fretting about people and events we can't control. 
The trick here is to realize when a situation is not in our control. A neighbor stopped over and launched into a fast-paced tirade about another neighbor's behavior. I said to her "It's not in your control. We can't change other people. Stop worrying about her and focus on yourself." Immediately, I could see her relax. When you get worked up over something, take a breath and ask yourself "Is this something I can control or not?" If the answer is no, let it go.

This also applies to our grown children. Stop using the excuse "Well, I'm a mother and mothers worry." That is an excuse. You do NOT need to worry. Trust God with your kids and let them take responsibility for their choices.

3. Let God call the shots.  
Now this one is a bit tougher, I have to admit. Many of us like to be in control. A male neighbor said to me one time "You like to call the shots". I was a bit surprised. "Well, I've been a single parent for most of my life and I'm used to making decisions.", I replied coolly. I think some men have a problem with women who can think for themselves. Sorry, guys. 

Things happen in our lives that are out of our control and life takes a dramatic twist. I think these times are opportunities to learn to trust God more. We don't always know where the road is leading, but God does. As the song by Carrie Underwood goes, "Jesus take the wheel,". It's a lesson we all need to learn at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later.

As we close on the topic of letting go, I hope this series has helped you understand more about letting go & control, how to let go, when to let go and the benefits of letting go. Here's one more article you might find helpful on the subject. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our blog community, please enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts on topics such as relationships, personal growth, health and wellness and spirituality. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Have More Peace by Learning to Let Go

You've most likely heard the phrase "Let go and let God". It's from the Recovery 12-step program. I thought everyone knew what letting go meant until one of my girlfriends asked "How do you let go?" She was serious. Her husband had died more than 10 years ago and she was still grieving. So today, I'm going to do my best to explain the concept of letting go in practical terms to help us all let go of situations, people, pets, and past experiences sooner rather than later so we can enjoy more peace and JOY in the present moment. 

The process of learning to let go is powerful and on-going and can be applied in many aspects of life. This is one spiritual lesson we keep getting to practice over and over again because it applies to so many areas of life in all seasons of life. 

What is "letting go"?
Letting go has to do with attachment. We humans tend to get attached: to the past, to people, pets, material possessions, as well as negative thought patterns and bad habits to name a few. The problem is we become too attached. We hold on too tightly and then, inevitably, we suffer: a loved one dies or moves on, a material possession is lost, broken, or damaged, or a pet runs away or dies. The passage in Isaiah 43:18-19 says this "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past".

When we hold on to negative coping mechanisms from the past or emotions such as anger, grief, or resentment, we prevent ourselves from moving forward in life.  Faulty beliefs and patterns keep us stuck like a rat on a wheel going nowhere. It is a choice to think on things above as it says in Phil 4:8. "Think on things that are pure, true, noble, admirable, lovely, and praiseworthy." I have to admit, this is a struggle for me, too, especially when one is brought up in a critical home environment and praise was based on performance. 

When to let go
Impermanence and change are undeniable truths of our existence. Everything on earth is changing. The seasons change. The weather changes. People change. Technology changes. The body changes. Change is part of life whether we like it or not. It is all part of the circle and evolution of life. So how do we know when it is time to let go?

One way to know it is time to let go is to ask ourselves these questions "Is this bearing any fruit in my life?", "Do I have joy today?" or "Is this serving me right now?"  If the answer we get is no, it is time to put whatever it is behind us, adopt new ways of thinking and relating, and move FORWARD. 

A second sign is lingering emotional or mental pain. For example, when we hold on to a dysfunctional relationship for too long, we will eventually lose our joy and our peace and sometimes our health. Constant conflict and friction are warning  signs. I have been guilty of holding on to relationships for far too long and not setting firmer boundaries soon enough so I know what I am talking about. 

Grieving Loss 
Now it is normal and crucial to grieve the loss of a loved one or beloved pet. A counselor once told me "The price of love is grief" and that is so true. When we love much, the grief of the loss is heavy, but grieve we must if we want to move thru it to the other side and regain our joy and our peace.

It is, however, not healthy if the grieving goes on year after year and we are constantly dwelling on the loss. At some point, we must make a conscious effort to not dwell on the hurt of the loss because this steals the joy from today and prevents us from living and enjoying the present moment.

Letting go is a process we get to practice again and again in different situations.  Whenever I feel like my joy is gone, I ask myself "What do I need to let go of?" There is usually something that is stealing my peace and joy. The good news is with practice, we will recognize sooner rather than later when we need to let go of something or someone. 

For Reflection

What can you let go of today? A broken relationship? A garage or house full of stuff? The pain from a past hurt? I encourage you to give it to God and let him replace it with the fruit of the Spirit in the present moment. For more on this important topic, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your spiritual growth."  where I go more into depth about this. 

If this post was helpful, leave a comment, ask a question, and share it with a friend in need. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email in the box provided. I'll also send you a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path",

Stay tuned for my next post to encourage, educate and inspire you. 

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

6 Easy Ways to Get Your Joy Back - Part 2

"How am I feeling this morning?" This is a good question to ask ourselves before we start our day. "Am I feeling joyful?" If we don't mindfully check in with ourselves we'll go around feeling blah and we'll turn to distractions, alcohol, shopping or some other addictive behavior to make us feel better. If we aren't feeling the joy of the Lord, something is wrong so what to do about it? This week I'm sharing 3 more steps to getting our joy back. 

How high is your joy meter today? High, low, or medium? Things can happen in a minute that can steal our joy, which is where mindfulness and faith come in. It's a question of being aware of when something irritates us and then making a mindful decision whether we are going to let it get to us. 

Joy flows in and through us on a daily basis but we must make a conscious decision to keep our joy and not get aggravated at every little thing: the elderly mom, the rebellious kids, the traffic, the boss, the list is endless. 

Today I am sharing the next 3 tips as promised. If you missed the first 3 tips for getting your joy back, here is the post again. 

                                               

Tip #4: Pay attention to your thoughts. 

Here's a quick mindfulness practice I do every morning to get in the right frame of mind. As soon as my eyes open, I declare this verse - out loud:  "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24). Notice the emphasis on the words "I will". This indicates I am making a conscious DECISION to be joyful. We must be deliberate about our frame of mind, if we want to stay joyful on a daily basis and into our later years. 

Do you find yourself dwelling on the same issue or person for days or nights on end? Picture a car stuck in a ditch with the wheels whirling and whirling. This is what our minds are doing when we ruminate or over-think and it is a joy-stealer. When we spin our mental wheels trying to figure something out or solve a problem that has no solution, this burns us out mentally and energetically. It can also cause headaches and migraines. I know this from first-hand experience. 

How to Avoid Overthinking
There are two ways to get out of the overthinking cycle. 

1) decide on an action to take in the moment. Taking some type of action takes the pressure off and makes us feel less out of control of the situation. 

2) realize we are overthinking something and decide to put the issue on the back burner till we get clarity. This takes the pressure off and I'm all about taking the pressure off. 

I know this is tough, but we are not in control of the when the answers will come.  We need to learn to trust in God to reveal them in HIS timing, not ours. It's another opportunity to practice letting go.

Exercise Your Faith

Another example I had to deal with last year was what to do about my 94 yr old mother who fractured her back. Without going into all the details, there were a lot of factors to consider, as anyone who has elderly parents knows. I assured my sister and my mother, who were both freaking out, that we would figure it out slowly. I kept saying "Let's stay in today" to calm them down.

Actually, I am pretty proud of myself that I did stay so composed and in the moment and did not freak out. I trusted that God would show us the way and he did. She went to rehab which she hated and then I found her an assisted living facility that served her chocolate cake the first day she got there. Her comment was "I should have done this years ago." It is in these types of critical, stressful situations that Faith and a spiritual practice pays off, friends. A spiritual practice helps us to not freak out when uncertainty hits and answers are complicated because we have a God who cares. 

Practice Mindfulness Daily
The natural state of our mind is to be peaceful but there are so many things to worry/stress/think about in every day life. Scripture exhorts us to "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). This means to pay attention to what we're thinking about. Our thoughts can take us down the proverbial rabbit hole if we don't learn how to be mindful and take control of them.   

The good news is practicing mindfulness helps us to be more aware of our thoughts and our emotions. We need to catch ourselves ruminating or dwelling on negative topics and bring ourselves back to the present moment, the here and now, because that is where JOY is found. Joy is not found in yesterday or tomorrow, folks. By practicing spiritual techniques (Check out my new ebook, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth), slowly, the grooves in our brains will be rewired and we will have better thinking patterns over time.

No matter what thoughts pop into my head, I remind myself of the truths I believe in. "Lord, I know you see this situation. It might not look good to me right now, but your word says you work all things out for my good. I will take responsibility for my thoughts, decisions, and actions. I will stay in peace and trust you to guide me. I will rejoice and be glad today. I will take care of myself and set firm boundaries. Thank you, Lord." This helps strengthen my spiritual muscle and keeps my peace and joy. 

Tip #5: Have some fun. 
As a single parent of two growing boys for many years combined with a full-time career plus grad school, it was hard to find time to have fun. Even now as an older single lady with few friends, it is hard to find time to have fun. Now I will admit having fun has changed over the years. I used to love to go ballroom dancing, or any kind of dancing for that matter. Now fun is enjoying the pool, working on my blog or my lettering, making a good dinner. Fun is something you choose to do that is pleasurable that keeps you in the present moment. What do you like to do for fun these days?

Keep Play in the Picture 
No matter how busy we might be, however, play is vital to our well-being. (See #5 in my recent book "Take Back Your Life". )  Some of us, including me, are so responsible, we have to schedule downtime and play into our to-do lists. As I write this I am thinking when was the last time I played...does watching a soccer game fall into the play category? I think so. 

Others play too much and neglect their responsibilities as well as their health. We need to find balance in our daily lives if we want to keep our joy. Having fun makes room for joy to pop back up because it lets the pressure out of the pot. 

What do you like to do? What takes your mind off your problems and brings you into the present moment? Choose a healthy activity that will restore and energize you, instead of depleting you or taking you out of the present moment like watching the boob tube or playing video games. Something out of doors is always good this time of year.  Walking is a great way to let go of stress and get a bit of exercise and fresh air. Team up with a friend or loved one if you can. Or maybe go for a bike ride, or do some gardening. Even a half hour will do you a world of good and help you clear your mind and reconnect with your joy.  

Tip #6: Let go of control. 
We all like to be in control. My issue stems from being raised in a chaotic home, where everything was out of control, but most of us want to be "in control" to some degree. The truth is there are only a handful of things that are truly under our control. Much of life - aka other people - are not and the sooner we come to understand this, the more peace and less stress we will have.  

Do what you can to attend to any given situation (if you need to) and then give it to God. Notice we have a part in fixing our problems. We can't just throw up our hands and say "Well, God will take care of it." When we do what we can, God will do what we can't. This is where faith, patience and obedience come in. 

If you want more peace in your daily life, learn how and when to let go. I talk about all the ins and outs of letting go of control in my new book, "Ignite the Power Within." Letting go is a spiritual practice and if you don't know what it is, how it applies to your life, or how to do it, I encourage you to order my new book and learn more today.

So there you have my 6 tips to getting your joy back.  
We all go through difficult situations and I'm certainly not minimizing what you or I are going through right now, but I have learned that stuff will ALWAYS keep coming at us. As author, Sonia Choquette says in her book "Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose", "We are souls on a journey to heal, grow and evolve and these trials are our tests to pass".  It is up to us to decide how each situation will affect us and how we will respond to it. The quicker we can let go of unhappy, negative thoughts, the more we can enjoy each day.

Reflection:
How about you? Is there something or someone stealing your joy right now? Are you feeling overwhelmed with all your responsibilities? What changes do you need to make to have more peace and joy? Don't let the challenges of life steal either one. Make a decision to let go of control and enjoy each day for the gift it is. That's why they call it "the present".

If this article was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, pop on over to Pinterest to check out my collection on health and wellness, fashion, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

 

How to Eliminate 4 Negative Thought Patterns

Spring is a time for renewal, rebirth, and transformation. Who doesn't love seeing new life, bunnies, flowers, and the gorgeous tree colors? It is a time for transformation and that is what today's post and this month's series is all about. 

What transformation would you like to see in your life? Perhaps lose some weight? Get in better shape? Get your financial house in order? Take that trip you've been dreaming of? Break a bad habit? (We all have them :)) All of these are very exciting and motivational personal growth projects to start on. 

Our progress in life and in our goals has much to do with how we think. Often we pick up negative thought patterns which we are unaware of. Awareness is the first key to transformation so this week I'm sharing four thinking patterns that keep us stuck instead of moving forward. 

The Root of the Problem 
As you probably know, change starts in our minds. We all have sub-conscious tapes playing and thought patterns that keep us from making the changes we so desire. I would like to EMPOWER YOU to address some of these faulty thinking patterns. So, what are some of these negative thinking patterns that prevent us from living our best life?

1. Procrastination
You've heard that saying "Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today" and it is so true. What doesn't get done today, will spill over into tomorrow's to-do list and eventually we will feel overwhelmed and give up on everything.

Some of us have trouble keeping the house clean and let clutter take over. Clutter keeps us distracted and unable to focus. We spend too much time trying to keep up with stuff. We have enough to take care of with just the basics. This is why I endorse the minimalism lifestyle. Keep only what you use, need, or adore and get rid of the rest. Check out my Pinterest board on simplifying your life here. 

Yesterday, the front of a drawer just dropped off and - instead of getting upset, I just laughed. 

"Another thing to fix and add to the to-do list". 

When I found the wood glue, turns out it had all hardened and was no longer usable. Another trip to Home Depot....Just put it on the never-ending to do list. 

Perhaps you have trouble managing your finances. Or getting to the gym. These are all habits we have to incorporate into our daily lives because they form the foundation of a healthy and balanced life. Procrastination keeps us from exerting the EFFORT to take control of our lives. Nobody ever "FEELS" like doing the work but if we wait to "feel" motivated, well you know how that goes. 

We use excuses such as "I don't feel like it", "I'm too tired", "I'll do it tomorrow", "I'm too busy". Do any of these resonate? The answer, friend, is discipline and don't tell me you don't have it, because you ABSOLUTELY DO!

Procrastination is a bad habit you can conquer. 

2.  Distraction
You've decided today is the day you are going to declutter your office. You have good intentions and you start off with good momentum. Then you think of someone you want to call and pick up the phone. Or you get bored and mindlessly wander into the fridge or cupboard for a snack. Or you pop on over to some social media platform just to see "what everybody else" is doing. 

Distractions come in many forms all designed to keep us from accomplishing our goals and moving forward in life.  Distractions take us out of the present moment. Some distractions are playing games on our phones, watching television, working on the computer., shopping. Now there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these, except when we turn to them instead of focusing on our goals and dreams instead. Check out my Pinterest board on mindfulness here. 

3.  Rationalization
I had a friend who kept saying she's on a diet and wants to lose weight yet every time we go out to eat, she says "I deserve this" or "I'll start my diet tomorrow". Working hard at the office all day is not a reason to overeat when you get home at night. Nor is the fact that you broke up with your boyfriend or the fact that you don't have a boyfriend. If you want the confidence to attract a boyfriend, stop rationalizing. 

So let's talk about stress for a minute. We all have it and we are each responsible for managing it so it doesn't spill out onto other people, but sadly, many people have not taken responsibility for managing their stress. Just watch the nightly news. Or the guy at the local gas station. Or your idiot boss. 

We can all come up with ideas to rationalize our actions yet all that does is keep us stuck right where we are. If we want to transform our lives, we must prioritize our goals and values over our negative thoughts.  

4.  Condemnation
Okay, so I said I was going to lose weight this week and once again, I head for the cheese and crackers or the wine or the ice ceam or the chocolate. I keep going back to the food issue because many of us struggle with it. I know I do.

These are just examples of how we can derail ourselves by our own choices and lack of commitment and awareness. Notice I did not say will power. Will power will only get us so far. We have to make a firm commitment to our goal to keep on track AND we have to stay mindful.

Emotions can have a powerful impact on our ability to say "No". We all fall off the wagon from time to time, but what is worse is beating ourselves up about our slip-ups. When we guilt ourselves, we decrease our resolve to start again fresh the next day. Eventually we will capitulate by saying "What's the use?" and resign ourselves to our condition. How we use self-talk plays a huge part in our success or failure. 

Instead of beating yourself up, give yourself some grace. Say "Well, today I didn't do so well on my diet. I'll do better tomorrow," then go for a walk. Feed yourself faith and hope instead of despair and condemnation. Every day is not going to be easy. Every day is not going to be successful. Yet there will be successful days if we keep at it and eventually the successful days will outnumber the unsuccessful days. We will conquer that mountain and imagine how amazing you are going to feel when you do!

For Reflection

Which of these four thinking patterns do you succumb to? What excuses do you make? How do you treat yourself after a slip up? Awareness is the first step to change and I hope this post has helped you become aware of some patterns that may be holding you back. To learn more on this topic, get your copy of my short ebook, "Take Back Your Life: 5 keys to reclaim your personal power" and do leave an honest review.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly newsletter plus a copy of my free e-guide "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice." This ebook is designed to help you establish new habits to grow spiritually and emotionally which are the basis of a peaceful and joyful life. Get your copy now. 

I invite you to pop on over to Pinterest and check out all the interesting stuff I have gathered there on a variety of topics such as health and wellness, fitness and exercise, cooking, travel, beauty, mindfulness, motivation and more. 

Stay tuned for more practical and positive wisdom so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Special Edition: 7 Ways to Combat Fear and Anxiety

There's a lot going on in the world these days that can raise fear and anxiety levels. Are you feeling fearful or anxious these days? What topics control your thoughts and conversations? Have you lost your peace and joy due to world events? Fear is the big brother and anxiety is it's relative. The two are closely related, so if you struggle with either of these, this post is for you. 

In case you haven't realized, human beings have a negativity bias. This is a psychology term that means the human brain is hard-wired to thrive on the negative. This is why the media puts out so much negative news, because it knows negativity and fear attracts viewers. It's easy to get sucked in if we don't realize this. 

This focus on fear and negativity steals our joy and our sense of peace. It also saps our energy by dragging us down to a lower energetic level. Have you realized this? 

Fear is contagious. 

The media is full of bad news: lootings and fires, stock market drops, the latest mass shooting or Hollywood scandal, the virus and the pandemic, the war in the Ukraine and now the dreaded tariffs. The list goes on and on. 

People are buying guns to protect themselves. Others are refusing to go out of the house. Before you know it, that's what you're talking about to your friends, family, and anyone who will listen. You'll think about it at night and ever so slowly fear will permeate your psyche. You will start making fear-based choices. I've heard several friends recently tell me they don't want to do things or go places because they are afraid. 

Fear begets fear. What we dwell on is what will manifest itself in our lives. So this post is dedicated to helping all of us conquer the enemy of fear because peace begins within each of us. 

First of all, let's realize one fact. No one knows when our last day on this earth will be. When it's our time to go, it's our time to go so why live in fear? Why let fear steal the joy from each precious day? When I used to teach yoga, I would tell my class, "Every day is a gift. That is why it's called the present". 

It is a perspective I choose to value each day and not take life for granted. We have a choice to live a fear-based life or a faith-based life. Fear sucks our energy and keeps us back from pursuing our goals, our dreams, and our destinies. We tell ourselves things like "I'm too old", "I'm too uneducated", "I'm too undisciplined", "I'm to -----" you fill in the blank. These are all excuses that masquerade themselves as reality, when they are really fear dressed in disguise.

So how to counteract this pervasive thought pattern?

1. Realize we may have been programmed to think negatively.
Some of us, myself included, were raised in a negative environment. Our parents may have been worriers, fearful, anxious, unmotivated. Yet that doesn't have to be us. We are free to think and choose differently from our parents. It is never too late to change our thinking no matter how old we are. Or how young :)

2. Cultivate a positive mindset.
Begin to reprogram your mind. Start by reading positive literature. Like this blog for instance :)  Write down affirming statements. I use those little yellow post-it notes to remind myself of whatever way of thinking or habit I'm working on changing. It takes time to cultivate a positive mindset but with diligence - over time - we will soon be thinking more positive hopeful thoughts and less negative, fear-driven ones. There is always another way to see things, no matter how bad they seem at the time. 

Our thinking patterns wire our brains. The longer we think negative thoughts, the more negative we will become as we age. We must make a conscious effort to think positive thoughts if we want to live a happier less fearful life. 

3. Stop feeding your mind negativity.
Pay attention to what you are putting into your mind. Sure, we need to keep up with world events, but we don't have to listen to the news as much as we think we do - to keep up. The news is on repeat. If you missed it tonight, tomorrow it will be on again, and again....

Pay attention to what movies you watch. Are they about murder, killing, psychotic behavior? You don't need to watch that. When the consumer stops paying for this junk, maybe the producers will start making better programming. 

All of this is input into our thinking. As we used to say in the IT field, GIGO: garbage in, garbage out. If we want good output, we have to program our minds with good input. 

Recent Decision

My physical therapist told me that she doesn't watch the news because "it's so depressing." I realized she is right - it is depressing. So instead of parking myself in front of the boob tube every night at 6:30, I decided to watch the news every other night. The stories will still be pretty much the same. And I can use that hour for more enjoyable purposes. Ta da! A choice to have less drama and more joy. 

4. Develop self-confidence.
Know who you are. You are a child of God. You have power. You are fully equipped for your journey. Read positive books. Hang around people who are uplifting, growing, and encouraging. Listen to inspirational and motivational speakers. The more we listen to positive influences, the better self-image we will have of ourselves. You are wonderfully made. You are unique and a masterpiece. There is no one else like you. Don't try to be someone else. Be YOU!

5. Refuse to give up.
Life has its setbacks, that is FOR SURE. But I like to look at these as opportunities to alter my course. Setbacks usually mean I need to change my thinking about something. The Bible calls this "repentance". When I change my thinking, I can then change my actions which will produce different results. Failure is not an excuse to give up. Failure motivates us to try a different approach. Look how many times Thomas Edison failed when he was trying to invent the light bulb. 

6. Let Go of Control

This is a biggie. We have to realize - in the moment - what we can control and what we can't. We can't control the weather, the stock market, the government, other people. However, we can control our reactions and responses. We can control how much we invest in the market. We can control our attitudes when things don't go our way like in the recent election. So many people were and still are so - excuse me - p---ed off and they took it out on others. All we can do is vote. We can't control outcomes. We can't control aging, but we can do our best to stay in shape and eat right. Get the point?

7. Trust God.
God is for us. He has our back. Yes, bad things happen but God works stuff out for our good whether we realize it or not. Even the worst scenarios have a silver lining if we look for it. Read my book "The Power of Faith" and see how God orchestrated my life and turned it all for good. We may not see the silver lining at the time, but there always is one. 

God loves us and wants the best for you and me which means you should want that for yourself. Every day we have choices of whether to act out of fear or in faith. I choose faith. I have made a decision to never make a decision based on fear. If you are indecisive, ask yourself this question "What fear is holding me back from making this decision?" Then ask God to give you the faith to trust him. 

Step out of your comfort zone. Try something new. Connect with someone you want to get to know. See less of someone who is causing you grief. Don't let fear keep you from moving forward in your life and your relationships no matter what is going on in the world.

God rewards Faith. When He sees us stepping out of the boat, He will move heaven and earth on our behalf. We will see miracles happen. Obstacles will move out of our way and doors will open. Sometimes we will even get a sign of confirmation that we are moving in the right direction. Contrary to popular thought, signs come AFTER we have taken a step of faith, not before. When we see life through the eyes of faith, rather than fear, we will have more joy, more energy, and more motivation. 

For Reflection

Do you find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts? What are you afraid of these days? What event from the past might be coloring your perspective? What could you do in this life if you weren't afraid? Will you make a decision to choose faith over fear from now on?

I hope this post has given you some ideas on how to conquer fear in your life. If you want more energy, see more progress in your life, and feel more alive, I encourage you to put some of these steps into practice. Love to hear your feedback here or on Facebook or Instagram.  

If you'd like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. I'll also send you out a copy of my free e-guide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice." so you can learn 10 ways to strengthen your SPIRITUAL MUSCLE.

Until next time, here's to living a more faith-filled life and remember - 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Tame Your Unruly Mind

Have you ever said something "without thinking"? Do you often find yourself feeling down, depressed or anxious but don't know why? What about the dreams you have at night that keep you from getting a good night's rest? What's going on then? If we want to ignite our personal power so we can move forward towards our goals and dreams and have more peace and joy, we must tame and train the unruly beast known as the mind.

The Brain vs. the Mind
Before we can talk about how to discipline the mind, we need to understand what exactly do we mean by "the mind". To keep this as simple as possible, the mind is the non-physical part of us that is composed of both consciousness and unconsciousness. It is separate from the physical part of the body known as the brain. The brain is the organ that is part of our central nervous system and controls our physical and bodily functions.

The mind, on the other hand, controls our emotions, our thoughts, and our will. Some believe that the mind is the eternal part of us known as the "soul". Undeveloped and unconstrained, the mind will take off like a runaway train or a wild horse. Buddhism calls this "monkey mind" meaning unsettled, capricious, restless, uncontrollable, confused. Picture the monkeys you see in the zoo or the wild and how they flit from tree to tree hanging on and jumping around willy nilly. This is how undisciplined minds behave. Thousands of thoughts fly by in the course of everyday life, yet we are unaware of the majority of them.

Feed your mind positive input.
If we want to harness the power of our minds, we need to discipline it to think the right kind of thoughts. There are three main steps to cultivating a disciplined mind and today we will cover the first one.  

Our minds are like computers. How they are programmed is how they will perform. Many of us grew up in an environment of worry, anxiety, fear and the like so we already have a library full of negative thoughts. If we feed our minds junk, violence, and negativity which abound in the media, on television and in our world, our thoughts will be full of this stuff.  You may not even be aware of the negativity that is coming out of you. The good news is we can change the way we think by changing what we feed our minds.

If we want healthy, vibrant bodies we will feed ourselves healthy, nutritious food and drink plenty of water. In the same way, if we want healthy, peaceful and emotionally stable minds we need to feed our minds life-giving, positive and faith-filled thoughts. I prefer to use phrases from the Holy Bible and I can attest to the fact that they do work. Here are some of my favorites:

     -If we want to conquer fear and doubt, start thinking thoughts of faith.
       "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a 

        sound mind".

       "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own           understanding."

     If we want to become more bold and less timid,  
      "The Lord is my rock and my fortress." 
      "No weapon formed against me shall prosper."
      "If God is for us, who can stand against us?". 

    If we want to be more loving,
       "Love your neighbor as yourself"
       "Love is patient. Love is kind. Love keeps no record of wrongs."
       "Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

    
    If we want to be more at peace, memorize these verses:
       "The Lord will give keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him."
       "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything pray and give thanks to God and He will give you peace that passes all understanding".     

    If we want more ease and less anxiety, instead of thinking "This is too much for me"  or "I'll never be able to ....." think and say out loud:
       "I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me".
       "God will make my crooked paths straight". 
        "Be still and know that I am God"

     If we want more abundance and provision, stop thinking thoughts of lack.
       "My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus".
       "No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly."

These are just a few examples I personally use to reprogram my thinking and you can too! Pick out some verses that resonate with you and begin to verbalize them daily. I post them on sticky notes around the house to remind me.

Personal Story

My mom recently passed and a whole boatload of extra responsibilities and tasks got dumped into my lap. I'm sure some of you have dealt with this situation and know how difficult it is. Well, trying to do her 2023 taxes and obtain the various 1099s since her Texas accountant has disappeared. Still have not received the final one and trying not to stress about the looming tax deadline of Oct. 15. 

This is certainly a test because the situation is out of my control despite my numerous phone calls to the companies involved. I am getting to practice what I preach - paying attention to my thoughts, staying at peace, and living in the present moment. We can only do so much, and in these situations it is important to remember that God sees and is in control. He will make a way where there seems to be no way. 

Reprogram Your Mind
If we want to be more powerful, peaceful, and successful, we need to be more positive. We need to reprogram our thinking with truth and the best source of truth I know is the Holy Bible. Now you can use whatever sacred texts or affirmations you choose, but I suggest the Holy Bible and here's why.

God is obligated to fulfill His Word. He is not obligated to follow through on anyone else's word. The words of scripture have supernatural power in them and that is the missing ingredient in using anything else. Positive affirmations that are not the Word of God will only take us so far. Why?

Because God rewards Faith! He wants to know that we are depending on Him and him alone and not merely our own will and self. When we learn to depend on God more, and ourselves less, we will see strife, turmoil, and unease evaporate from our lives and we will enjoy more harmony, joy, and rest.

This covers the first step to disciplining our minds. Stay tuned for more on Step 6 of igniting the power within when next time we'll talk about the importance of meditation. 

For Reflection

What do you find yourself dwelling on? What causes you stress? How can you replace negative thoughts with thoughts of faith and power? 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, simply enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my weekly posts. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  If you would like to learn more about spiritual growth, check out my other offerings here. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment and share it with your friends. 

Stay tuned for more on how you can ignite the power within and discover your Destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz


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5 Practical Steps to More Peace and Less Drama

Isn't it great when you get to enjoy a peaceful day? No conflicts. No aggravation. No drama. One key to having more peace is to be more aware of our stress levels. When we are stressed, we are more likely to over-react and snap so today, I am sharing on the topic of healing our emotional triggers and managing reactivity so we can have more peace and less drama. 

Who likes drama? Not me, but, like it or not, drama is part of life. As long as we are interacting with other people, there will be drama. The key is to focus on how WE handle the situation, not what the other person said or did which is what we usually do. It's called "playing the blame game." 

The more exposure we have to family members such as during the Pandemic, the holidays, vacations, etc. the more opportunities there will be for drama. So today I am offering some practical steps to help us transform our emotional brains and manage our reactivity. Let's get started. 

What causes drama anyway?

Most of the time drama stems from emotional reactivity. The emotional center of our brains, known as the amygdala, gets hijacked and we react in an emotionally charged manner, rather than responding in a calm and kind way. 

We react for different reasons: because of unhealed emotional wounds from the past, judgements and labels we have attributed to others, and also because our egos get the better of us. 

Healing is part of our Soul's Journey 

You've probably heard the phrase "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear". What this means is that we are all on a journey and life is a school of sorts. It presents us with teachers in the form of people and situations to help us to recognize our wounds and then heal them. 

I like to think of this as a spiritual journey because at the root this journey is the development and healing of our souls. It is a journey to healing, wholeness, and harmony. To awareness and clarity. To living fully alive and in the present moment, not in bondage to the painful events of the past or the worries and concerns of the future. 

Healing occurs when we bring light into these dark places of our soul. This takes time, energy, and deep introspection. It also requires us to examine ourselves and be willing to change. 

Do you know your soul is here for a reason? You are not here by happenstance, just to have a good time for a few years, then be buried and that's the end of it. You are here to learn and to heal, to grow and to evolve, to move yourself and others forward. Life is a school, and if we don't learn our soul lessons we are going to repeat the grade, if you get my drift.

Why We Over-React 

Sometimes over-reaction is because our stress-tank is full. We are emotionally overloaded in the moment and we don't have the self-control we usually have. Someone calls at the wrong time and we let them have it. We have a tough day at the office and we take it out on the fam. It happens. Learn from it and make the necessary changes. And don't forget to apologize. 

I am reading a good book on managing stress, called "Unstressable" by Mo Gawdat. In it, the authors give some good tips on how to be more aware of our stressors and our emotional stress tank levels. They also discuss the techniques to manage stress, many of which I've talked about here on this blog. 

At other times, when we keep reacting to certain situations in an emotionally-charged manner. This is because we are stuck in mental patterns that keep us from seeing things as they really are and from dealing with life in a peaceful and healthy way. Rather, when we OVER-REACT to a situation, we can be pretty sure we are encountering what author and psychotherapist, Tara Bennett-Goleman calls "samskaras" or schemas. 

In her book, "Emotional Alchemy", Tara explains there are 10 major schemas such as the fear of abandonment, emotional deprivation, perfectionism, and the fear of trusting to name a few. Most of us have at least one or two of these unhealthy and unproductive emotional patterns that we need to heal from. 

In order to conquer these schemas, we must first learn to recognize them so here are 5 steps to becoming more aware of our emotional patterns:

1. Pay attention to over-reactions.
An over-reaction is not necessarily a major outburst. It is an uncomfortable feeling - a bristling if you will - when someone says or does something that stings us emotionally. When we over-react we are not in control. Our hurt or wound is in control. Over-reaction is a signal that a schema is operating. It is interesting how the hurts and fears from our childhood or past relationships can still rear their ugly heads when a situation in the present in some way, shape, or form reminds us of something that happened in the past. Our reptilian brain has no concept of time.

Our minds are like computer programs which store all sorts of if/then statements and every now and then a bug shows up and they need to be reprogrammed. When we have these over-reaction bugs in response to current day situations, that is a sign that there is a hidden emotional issue that needs to be recognized, addressed, and healed. 

2. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings.
Check in with how you are feeling on a regular basis. Explore the emotions you are experiencing. Do you feel angry? Anxious? Sad? Like you are being attacked?

Emotions give us a clue as to which schema is operating and it is up to us to recognize the schema and the pattern. I know when there is a pattern when I keep having the same type of issue with different people in my life. It's like God is saying "Here's an opportunity to heal. Will you deal with it?"

3. What does this situation remind me of?
When we have an over-reaction in the present moment, it often is caused by a painful event from our past. Our brains wire similiar negative emotionally-charged experiences together. Psychologists have a phrase "What fires together, wires together" which means emotions are stored in the brain with past negative events and repitition of these events makes these connections even stronger. Often we are not even aware of the trigger unless we try consciously to connect the dots. We have to look at both the past and the present situation and learn to respond, not react, differently. 

4. What need am I trying to get met?
Often unmet needs go unnoticed for years. Perhaps, like me, you had an emotionally absent father figure. Or your caregiver was super-critical. These kinds of traumatic events wound us. We don't get our emotional needs met by the person who was supposed to meet them. So we continue looking for someone to fill our emotional buckets, usually from someone who is just as emotionally unable to meet those needs. If you missed my post on having an open heart, here it is again. 

When we finally become aware of an unmet need, we can then look for healthier ways and people to meet the need and thus, put an end to the power of our subconscious unhealthy relational patterns, irrational fears, and finally heal our souls.

5. Look for a pattern.
When you have an over-reaction, don't be too quick to gloss over it, ignore it, or put it behind you. These events occur for a reason. It is an opportunity for healing, but it is up to us to try to piece the events together so we can understand what is going on beneath the surface. These situations can shed light on the dark areas of our souls so we can heal them.

The word of God tells us to be "transformed daily by the renewing of our minds" (Romans 12:2). It is only by replacing error with truth and fear with faith that our souls can be truly healed and move forward in life towards our dreams and our destiny.

For Reflection
Think of a time you over-reacted. How did you feel? Why did you think you felt that way? Can you think of a time in your past when you felt the same way? What was similiar in the present situation that might have caused your brain to bring up the negative emotions? 

I hope this post has helped you recognize some things and if you enjoyed it and want to learn more, check out my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Strengthen Your Spiritual Muscle". 

Healing is a process that takes time. Be gentle with yourself and ask others to be gentle with you. It is not easy to heal from emotional wounds. It takes courage and willingness so be proud of yourself for making the effort. 

If you'd like to join our growth community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". And do pop on over to check out all the cool stuff I've collected for you on Pinterest. 

Stay tuned for more postive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

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