Ignite the Power Within: 3 Ways to Surrender More - Part 3

Are you a control freak? Do you always have to run the show? Have things your way?  Most people have control issues, some to a greater degree than others. Stress makes us more controlling. Today's post is the third in my series on letting go and control. Today we'll be talking about how to surrender so we can have more peace and serenity despite what happens in our daily lives.

The human tendency is to want to control. If you were raised in a chaotic home environment like I was, control becomes a coping mechanism to help us manage our lives. This learned behavior then spills over into other areas. We often don't realize we are controlling until someone points it out to us or we feel stressed out a lot of the time.  There are some things we can do to let go of the reins and relax more.

Here are 3 ways we can learn to surrender more:

1. Stop trying to figure everything out.

I think the smarter a person is, the more difficult time they have with this. I have a friend who some might describe as "flighty". She has no problem with control. She doesn't try to figure anything out. The problem there is she doesn't take responsibility for herself. I, on the other hand, am always trying to figure things out. I think it also comes from my being an analyst for 30+ years. I learned that way of thinking on my job. Recently,  I have had to unlearn that thinking pattern and learn how to come to grips with not knowing all the answers. It really does take the pressure off when we stop trying to figure everything out.

2. Stop fretting about people and events we can't control. 
The trick here is to realize when a situation is not in our control. A neighbor stopped over and launched into a fast-paced tirade about another neighbor's behavior. I said to her "It's not in your control. We can't change other people. Stop worrying about her and focus on yourself." Immediately, I could see her relax. When you get worked up over something, take a breath and ask yourself "Is this something I can control or not?" If the answer is no, let it go.

This also applies to our grown children. Stop using the excuse "Well, I'm a mother and mothers worry." That is an excuse. You do NOT need to worry. Trust God with your kids and let them take responsibility for their choices.

3. Let God call the shots.  
Now this one is a bit tougher, I have to admit. Many of us like to be in control. A male neighbor said to me one time "You like to call the shots". I was a bit surprised. "Well, I've been a single parent for most of my life and I'm used to making decisions.", I replied coolly. I think some men have a problem with women who can think for themselves. Sorry, guys. 

Things happen in our lives that are out of our control and life takes a dramatic twist. I think these times are opportunities to learn to trust God more. We don't always know where the road is leading, but God does. As the song by Carrie Underwood goes, "Jesus take the wheel,". It's a lesson we all need to learn at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later.

As we close on the topic of letting go, I hope this series has helped you understand more about letting go & control, how to let go, when to let go and the benefits of letting go. Here's one more article you might find helpful on the subject. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our blog community, please enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts on topics such as relationships, personal growth, health and wellness and spirituality. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Keep Your Peace and Joy

Let's face it. Bad things happen to good people. Sometimes it is a result of our poor choices and behavior and other times, it is the result of evil and sin. Now I know some have a problem with the concept of evil and sin but I think if we look at the evening news just one night, we realize that evil and sin do exist. Have you seen the show "American Greed"? Mind-boggling what people will do for money.

We must accept the reality that painful things do happen - we lose our job, we come down with a chronic health issue, a relationship ends, the list goes on and on. Circumstances can destroy and defeat us if we let them. Sometimes it feels like it's just one thing after the other. Today I am sharing on how to get through these difficult times and still keep your peace and your joy. It is possible!

As someone who has had more than the average person's share of pain in my life, I have found a way to make it through the painful times. I cling to the verse in scripture "God works all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose." (Rom.8:28). Notice the word "ALL". That doesn't just mean the good things. That means the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When we have problems that seem insurmountable, when we have done all we can to try to "fix" a situation, here are some keys to help us let go of the pain and enjoy our lives despite our circumstances:

1. Focus on the reality that our God is BIGGER and GREATER than any circumstance we may face. God is working through our circumstances to mold us into the likeness of Jesus. Typically we focus on the problem, the person, the situation. This makes the problem bigger. Instead focus on the power and strength of God to help us handle with the situation.

2. Stop trying to fix things in your own strength. 
I have a tendency to work, work, work, to try to fix myself, fix relationships, fix problems. It comes from being raised in a chaotic home environment where everything was out of control. Something I heard from a pastor recently struck a chord "When we work, God rests. When we rest, God works."

Now that doesn't mean don't ever put effort into correcting a situation, but there comes a point where we have to say "I've done all I can. I am giving this to God." That point is different for each of us.

3. Find out what your need to learn. 
Every painful situation or circumstance has a lesson. God uses pain to teach us. Financial disaster teaches us to manage our finances better. Illness teaches us take better care of our health. Relationship problems teach us to be kinder, to love more, to control our anger. There is always a lesson in our circumstances and it is up to us to ask ourselves what that lesson is and to apply it for the future. 

4. Trust things will work out at some point. 
This is the practice of "letting go" and it is a practice. We often wear ourselves out trying to make things happen in our own strength, at least, I know I do. The truth is some things only God can fix. And in his timing, not ours. We want things fixed NOW, but sometimes people need to grow up, we need to heal, and these take TIME. As my oldest son said, "Time heals all wounds".

5. Thank God for his grace and mercy.
Gratitude is a powerful weapon against the forces that try to keep us from our destinies. Thank God AHEAD OF TIME for the victory - even BEFORE you see any evidence. The Bible says "Faith is the evidence of things not yet seen." (Heb.11:1). We have to call in what we expect to see and thank God for working in our lives. This is the power of FAITH.

So there you have them - five keys to keeping your peace and joy during  unfortunate circumstances. We all get hit with things, some of us more than others, but God is always with us and He promises to never leave us or forsake us.

For Reflection

Who or what has hurt you? Are you trying to change them? Wish you could change the situation? Would you have more peace if you gave it all to God?  

If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive my weekly articles, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive my eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" and do share with a friend.

Until next time, stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Dance

Do you hate getting lost? I do. It doesn't happen often but when it does, I know I'm in for a test. It seems like it happens when I'm in a hurry to get someplace. You know the feeling, I'm sure. Life's frustrations can cause us to lose our peace and get angry, but today we'll talk about how to let go of anger and frustration before they steal our joy and ruin our day.

It was a Friday night and my son, Jon, and I were out celebrating his 30th birthday. We had just finished a lovely meal at a Spanish restaurant in Houston and were headed to a dance studio to take a salsa lesson at 9 pm. We had less than 30 minutes to get there. On the way to the car after dinner, I started to get excited about the evening. It would be the first dance lesson my son has had and perhaps I was more excited than he. I had found a coupon for free entry if we arrived before 9:30.

"This is going to be so much fun!" I exclaimed as I settled into his new Nissan with the homemade birthday cake on my lap.

Now, Houston is not exactly the easiest place to get around. The city is huge and so are the highways. Jon plugged in the address of the studio into his trusty GPS and waited. And waited. And waited. No response.

"I know where this place is," he announced and pulled out of the parking spot.

"We're looking for 59 north," he said.

As we headed out of the city, it seemed we were going into nowhereland.

"I don't see any signs for 59 north," I said. After circling the side roads, we eventually hit a dead end. Jon's tone was becoming firmer and the tension in the air was getting thicker by the minute.

"Doesn't look like we're going to make the lesson, so we might as well go home," he announced. It was like someone stuck a pin in my balloon of anticipation and excitement.

"Ok, if that's what you want to do," I surrendered.

Then Jon says: "I think the enemy is trying to get us into a fight to ruin the evening. But he's not going to get his way. Forget this GPS. I think I know how to get us there," Jon stated with a renewed sense of determination. My hopes started to rise again as he found the way to a highway.

It was 9:20 when we pulled into the parking lot of the studio.

"Let's take a few breaths," Jon said and we both sat in silence for a few minutes collecting ourselves.

Peace must be fought for.

We knew we had avoided a close call and we both accepted that fact that we had missed the lesson.

"At least we made it in time to get in free," I offered.

We stepped into the studio. The place was hopping with activity.

"I guess the lesson is over," I said to the gal checking us in at the door.

"No, as a matter of fact, it is going to start in 5 minutes."

Jon and I looked at each other in amazement. We both knew what had happened.

"That's God's favor," Jon says quietly. "Because we didn't get into an argument in the car,".

I was grateful for both the unexpected blessing of the dance lesson and for the fact that Jon was so wise to have learned this lesson so young. It had taken me years to realize this.

So, next time you find yourself in a tense situation that is out of your control, remember to defuse it by surrendering. When we choose peace instead of conflict, we not only save our energy and our spirits, but God smiles upon us with favor.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive my bi-weekly posts, enter your email in the box provided and I'll send you a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Love to hear your feedback on your latest adventure and until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel