How to Surrender to God

We've all heard the expression "Let go and let God", right? I assumed everyone understood what this means until I posted this photo on Facebook and a friend came back with the question "How do you do that?"

Another word for letting go is to surrender. Detach. Give people space. It is a crucial skill to learn if we want to have peace in our lives and in our relationships. Let's jump in. 

1. First step is to realize that letting go is an ongoing process.
We learn to let go. It doesn't come naturally. We develop the ability to let go gradually as we experience loss, grief, and pain in our lives such as when a loved one dies or leaves home, a beloved pet dies, or when a relationship ends. Letting go is an ongoing process because life is constantly in a state of change.

2.  Another term related to letting go is "detachment" which means separating ourselves from another person. 
In recovery terms, detachment means emotionally disconnecting from the abusive, destructive or unhealthy behavior of another person for our own well-being. We think we are being caring, but really, we are being codependent. 

Detaching does not mean we stop loving or caring about the other person but we no longer allow their behaviors to steal our peace and joy. We don't get into it with them. We stop trying to change them or get them to change. It's not our monkey. 

Some extreme examples would be living with an alcoholic, an addict, a gambler, or an angry person. Sometimes, we have to detach from family and friends who, for whatever reason, are unable to participate fully in a healthy relationship. It takes two healthy people to make any relationship work.

When we detach, we find more time and energy to love and take care of  ourselves and we allow the other person the time and space to deal with their own issues. It is truly the loving thing to do for both parties. 

3. Letting go has to do with responsibility. 

Sometimes we take on responsibility for problems we do not own. For example, a parent taking financial responsibility for an adult child. A mother not allowing her children to suffer the consequences of their actions. A spouse covering for a partner's addiction such as overspending, drinking, gambling, getting into fights, etc. Codependency causes people to take on others' consequences to the detriment of their own physical and financial well-being. 

4. Letting go is the opposite of controlling. 

People who are overly responsible are often codependent and usually have control issues. Codependents think they are taking care of others, but in reality, it is a form of control based on fear. Most people have control issues to some degree, but fearful people are on the extreme end of the spectrum. If someone you know is controlling, one question to ask them is: "What are you afraid of here?" This will help bring to light the irrational fear they may be struggling with.

No one wants to be controlled.  We are responsible for managing our own lives, but not the lives of those around us. Often, our "caring" efforts are seen as controlling. This is when relationships deteriorate. When we let go of control, we allow the other person the freedom and the dignity to make their own choices and experience the results of those choices.

5. Letting go applies to every area of our lives.
Many people hold on to stuff for years and years for emotional reasons. I once dated a guy who had an entire office filled with old newspapers he'd never read. His garage was packed with stuff his kids used when they were little. These people have a hard time "letting go" of stuff. They've even made a TV show out of this behavior called "Hoarders". If you have a hard time parting with material things, your house is cluttered, and your garage is overflowing, you may want to examine your reasons for holding on to all of that. Does it make you feel loved? Secure? Are you holding on to the past? Think of cleaning house as an opportunity to practice letting go and open yourself up to NEW ADVENTURES!

6.  Surrender to God's will.
When we learn to let go in our lives, we are basically saying "Thy will be done" or "Que sera sera". We no longer insist on our agendas, our plans, and our timeframes. We are more flexible and resilient when the unexpected happens. We feel more peace and tranquility because we have let go of the need to control the outcome of events. We really can't control very much in life. We can't control the stock market, our relatives, our kids, or what happens in the world so we might as well accept life as it is and enjoy it the best we can. Here is the Serenity Prayer in its entirety:

The Serenity Prayer

 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right

if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. 

Reinhold Niebuhr

Personal Story

So yesterday, I was all dressed and ready to go hear an outdoor concert about 20 minutes from me. I checked my tires and they were on the low side so decided to try and fill them myself. Well. After 3 gas stations and 2 broken air machines, one of my tires had no air in it. The "Check tire pressure" warning came up.

Immediately, I said a prayer to make it back to another gas station and thankfully, their machine was working. Sort of. I was able to inflate the tire. This was in 97 degree heat, mind you. An hour had gone by. My white capris were filthy and I was a sweaty disgusted mess. I paused to think and pray. Then I did what I'm telling you to do. I let my plans go. Things happen. I drove home and headed straight for the pool. Immediately all the stress washed away and my joy returned. Folks, when things seem to work against you for whatever reason, choose whatever will bring you peace in the moment. 

7. Evaluate my priorities.
There are only 24 hours in every day and we only have so many days to live. How will I choose to live them and with whom? I reexamine my priorities several times a year. I make a conscious choice on where, how, and with whom I want to spend my time.

I have learned that in order to add something or someone new to my life, I must let go of something or someone else or I will be out of balance. When we let go of an unhealthy relationship, we are open to receive a healthier one in its place. First, we will get a test to see if we will go back to our old patterns of accepting unhealthy behavior. After we pass that test, God will bring us healthier friends. 

When we let go of anxiety and worry, we make room for peace and joy. When we let go of activity, we make room for relaxation and self-care. It's all a matter of evaluating what is important to us in the here and now.

8. Choosing Peace over Control 
If we want to have more peace and joy and less stress in our lives, learning to let go is one of life's most important lessons.  I have a post- it note on which is written a quote from Oprah Winfrey that says: "All stress comes from resisting what is". I think she is right on. 

Some of us, including me as an oldest child in a dysfunctional family, have become too responsible for others. And yes, it is still a problem. When the adults in a family don't assume their rightful responsibilities, then the children are left to do so, sadly. A sign we are too controlling is when we start to experience push-back from other people. This is the time to step back and give the relationship space and distance. 

Personal Story - Dealing with elderly relatives 

So my 95 year old mother was in a sad state. She couldn't walk. She fractured her back earlier last year, and we had to move her to assisted living. I had to take over handling all of her stuff - her phone, her drs appts, her physical therapist, her medications, her finances, her bills. You may be dealing with a similar situation. It's tough on everyone. 

Well, I thought I was helping her by taking on these responsibilities, but what I came to realize is she became angry or resentful at me for doing so. Sadly. Who else was going to care for her? 

Then it dawned on me. She is angry at herself and projecting it onto me. So I have decided to do what I am telling you to do - take a step back. Let her call me. Stop being so responsible for all her stuff. She still has a decent mind and can and should speak up for herself. It was a tough lesson to learn but when people are ungrateful for your help, maybe they don't really want it. Let me say that again.

To Learn More on Letting Go

If you want more information on letting go, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth", In it, I explain in detail the how, when, and what of letting go and the various areas of our lives that we get to practice this in. It is life changing for sure. 

For Reflection
So what have you let go of that made a difference in your life? What do you need to let go of today that could bring you more peace? Leave a comment or post in your journal. 

If you enjoyed this post, join our blog community. Enter your email address in the box provided & you'll receive my weekly posts and also a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to get you started on your exciting spiritual journey. I am taking the month of August off from blogging to work on other pursuits so enjoy your summer and meet me back here in September. 

Stay tuned for more on having more peace in our relationships and our lives. 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Have More Peace by Learning to Let Go

You've most likely heard the phrase "Let go and let God". It's from the Recovery 12-step program. I thought everyone knew what letting go meant until one of my girlfriends asked "How do you let go?" She was serious. Her husband had died more than 10 years ago and she was still grieving. So today, I'm going to do my best to explain the concept of letting go in practical terms to help us all let go of situations, people, pets, and past experiences sooner rather than later so we can enjoy more peace and JOY in the present moment. 

The process of learning to let go is powerful and on-going and can be applied in many aspects of life. This is one spiritual lesson we keep getting to practice over and over again because it applies to so many areas of life in all seasons of life. 

What is "letting go"?
Letting go has to do with attachment. We humans tend to get attached: to the past, to people, pets, material possessions, as well as negative thought patterns and bad habits to name a few. The problem is we become too attached. We hold on too tightly and then, inevitably, we suffer: a loved one dies or moves on, a material possession is lost, broken, or damaged, or a pet runs away or dies. The passage in Isaiah 43:18-19 says this "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past".

When we hold on to negative coping mechanisms from the past or emotions such as anger, grief, or resentment, we prevent ourselves from moving forward in life.  Faulty beliefs and patterns keep us stuck like a rat on a wheel going nowhere. It is a choice to think on things above as it says in Phil 4:8. "Think on things that are pure, true, noble, admirable, lovely, and praiseworthy." I have to admit, this is a struggle for me, too, especially when one is brought up in a critical home environment and praise was based on performance. 

When to let go
Impermanence and change are undeniable truths of our existence. Everything on earth is changing. The seasons change. The weather changes. People change. Technology changes. The body changes. Change is part of life whether we like it or not. It is all part of the circle and evolution of life. So how do we know when it is time to let go?

One way to know it is time to let go is to ask ourselves these questions "Is this bearing any fruit in my life?", "Do I have joy today?" or "Is this serving me right now?"  If the answer we get is no, it is time to put whatever it is behind us, adopt new ways of thinking and relating, and move FORWARD. 

A second sign is lingering emotional or mental pain. For example, when we hold on to a dysfunctional relationship for too long, we will eventually lose our joy and our peace and sometimes our health. Constant conflict and friction are warning  signs. I have been guilty of holding on to relationships for far too long and not setting firmer boundaries soon enough so I know what I am talking about. 

Grieving Loss 
Now it is normal and crucial to grieve the loss of a loved one or beloved pet. A counselor once told me "The price of love is grief" and that is so true. When we love much, the grief of the loss is heavy, but grieve we must if we want to move thru it to the other side and regain our joy and our peace.

It is, however, not healthy if the grieving goes on year after year and we are constantly dwelling on the loss. At some point, we must make a conscious effort to not dwell on the hurt of the loss because this steals the joy from today and prevents us from living and enjoying the present moment.

Letting go is a process we get to practice again and again in different situations.  Whenever I feel like my joy is gone, I ask myself "What do I need to let go of?" There is usually something that is stealing my peace and joy. The good news is with practice, we will recognize sooner rather than later when we need to let go of something or someone. 

For Reflection

What can you let go of today? A broken relationship? A garage or house full of stuff? The pain from a past hurt? I encourage you to give it to God and let him replace it with the fruit of the Spirit in the present moment. For more on this important topic, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your spiritual growth."  where I go more into depth about this. 

If this post was helpful, leave a comment, ask a question, and share it with a friend in need. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email in the box provided. I'll also send you a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path",

Stay tuned for my next post to encourage, educate and inspire you. 

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

On The Practice of Radical Acceptance

What is it that just "gets your goat"? A neighbor, relative, or coworker? Traffic? Screaming kids? These all have one thing in common; they are all out of our control and fighting them steals our peace and our joy. 

Wouldn't we all be a whole lot happier and more at peace if we learned the practice of radical acceptance as described by author, psychologist and meditation teacher, Tara Brach? To accept people and circumstances as they are. To live and let live. I've been getting another lesson in this recently. We have to make a conscious decision to accept things and people as they are, not as we would have them to be. 

Personal Story

I love summer and the opportunity to go to the "private" pool here at my complex. For me, it's downtime. Time to rest, soak up the sun and read. What I don't love are lots of loud screaming grand kids, people who talk on the speaker phone like they are at home, and loud grandparents. 

Many people are simply unaware or don't care how loud they are, but I consider it a lack of respect for others. I know there is no controlling kids but there are rules that are not being obeyed and this "gets my goat". After my attempts to bring attention to these situations failed miserably, I have come to the point of "radical acceptance." Some things you just have to accept, regardless of what you may want or think. It's called letting go of control. 

Dealing with Frustrations 
Life is full of things that are out of our control such as the stock market, the weather, strange unexpected occurrences, aches and pains, and relatives, to name a few. Many of us struggle with a chronic condition such as arthritis, migraine, anxiety, or depression. We have relatives that don't want to get along with us and the weather seems to have gone haywire along with the rest of the world. As long as we fight against what is, we will not have peace in our relationships or peace within. 

A Phrase to Remember 
Years ago, I had a dear friend whose favorite expressions was "It is what it is". I thought that was so profound. She had learned, or was trying to learn was to surrender and to accept things that were out of her control. Learning to surrender is a process because it can be applied to so many aspects of our lives at different times in our lives. Life continually gives us "opportunities" to practice. 

If we want more peace on a daily basis, we must learn radical acceptance - of our conditions and of the people in our lives. But let me take this one step further - deeper. More importantly we need to learn to practice radical acceptance of ourselves. 

Accepting Ourselves
We must also learn to embrace every aspect of ourselves: flaws, imperfections, personality traits, flabby thighs, balding head, and all. Sure this blog is all about growth and spiritual development, but let's remember to love ourselves along our journey to healing and wholeness. I think sometimes I focus more on the things I want to fix and change about myself, rather than treating myself with loving kindness. What's worse, I probably do that with others as well. Smack me, would you? 

Some traditions say we are perfect just as we are and I've always disagreed with that concept but maybe - just maybe - what they really mean is "accept ourselves the way we are" and in that way we are perfect. Make sense? This is a HUGE change of perspective for me. How about you?

For Reflection

What is stealing your peace and your joy? What do you constantly complain about? What frustrates you? This week let's practice radical acceptance. Let's stop complaining about what is and start replacing these thoughts with thoughts of gratitude and loving-kindness. There is always another way to look at things. 

If this post resonated with you, do join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". Also check out my collection I've curated on Pinterest on a variety of related topics such as health and wellness, mindfulness and meditation, great recipes, and much more. Click here to explore. 

Until next time, stay tuned for more on surrender and radical acceptance and remember, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Craft a Life You Love

Spring is officially here and it's a great time to declutter. Let's face it. Most of us have too much - too much stuff, too many projects, too much activity. If we are honest with ourselves, we will admit it. We pack too much into every minute, every day. As a result, we end up stressed and overwhelmed. We don't get enough sleep and our immune system falters. Then we get sick. We neglect our relationships, our bodies, and our spiritual growth. Spring reminds us there is always another opportunity to start anew, to grow, and to blossom. 

It's Not Totally Our Fault

We live in a non-stop world. The pace is frenetic and the world constantly barrages us with news, noise, and negativity. It's too easy to get sucked up in the whirlpool of it all; a downward spiral of never ending things to do, places to go, and stuff to take care of resulting in constant frenetic activity, exhaustion, and very little rest, reflection or true relaxation.

There is an Answer

I know you've heard this phrase, and it is applicable to so many areas of our lives but it seems to have disappeared from mainstream society, especially here in the United States. One principle that we all know but often forget to implement and it is this: keep it simple. 

                                      

Start With the Basics 

Like your wardrobe. Is your closet packed so full you really don't know what you have in there? Time to get rid of some stuff. What haven't you worn in the past year? What don't you feel good in? What makes you look fat, old, or dated? Chuck it - give it to a friend, Goodwill, or a shelter.

Next move on to your house. Same idea. Start with one room at a time.  How about the kitchen, the fridge, and the pots and pans? Every year around early spring, I get this urge to clean and declutter. I am very selective before I buy anything that is going to sit on my kitchen counter or that has only one use. 

Recent Personal Experience

I have been looking for a new toaster oven. Mine is over 10 years old. Does it still work? Yes but it looks a bit ratty. So on a recent shopping excursion to Costco (one of my fav places), I spied a spiffy shiny multi-purpose toaster/air fry oven. 

Well, I got it home (and bruised my arm because it was so heavy). Unpacked all the various pieces for the different functions, and set it on my kitchen counter. It was too big to fit in a cabinet. I read the cookbook that came with it to see what all it could make. Not impressed. I already have an air fryer setting in my new GE oven. 

Well, long story short. I woke up the next day and saw this big black appliance taking up space on my kitchen counter and thought "Nope, it's too big. It's going back to Costco" and that was that. 

Do You Really Need It?

If we want to declutter our space and our life, we have to get really clear on our priorities. What is truly important? Do you really need all those items to clean, dust, and insure? When was the last time you used whatever? My criteria is if I don't love it, I chuck it. Ok, I get it. Some things have sentimental value. Keep one or two and donate the rest. Live in today instead of the past. Today is a gift, that is why they call it the present. Enjoy it.

Clutter Hinders our focus. 

I can't stand clutter. It smothers me. I need space and light. Stuff seems to multiply like rabbits: gifts from friends we don't need, use, or want, old items we are saving for some sentimental reason, books, records, and photo albums we rarely even look at or listen to. Live in the present and have done with old stuff from the past. Chances are pretty darn good your kids or your relatives aren't going to want anything old you may be saving anyway.

Look at Jesus. 
How much stuff did he have? Did he have to schedule everything in a calendar? He made time for people, healing, and speaking words of faith, forgiveness, and encouragement. When we are ruled by the stuff of this world, what time do we have for the things that really matter? Things that will last into eternity? "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matt 6:33). 

When we declutter our lives and get rid of stuff that no longer bears fruit or serves us, we make room for God to bring in something new. Like preparing for the birth of a new baby, we must make space for the new if we want to grow and move forward in life. 

For Reflection

What are you holding on to that no longer serves its purpose? It may be material possessions but it could also be old patterns of thinking that clutter our mind and prevent us from seeing life in new ways. Simplify your life and see what new thing shows up. I can't wait to hear from you!

If you enjoyed this post and would like a little help prioritizing your life while having fun at the same time, check out my ebook entitled "Take Back Your Life: 5 Keys to Reclaiming Your Personal Power."  Life can be simplified so you can have more peace, more power, and more joy. And when those extra challenges come up, you won't get so stressed out because you have your priorities straight. Order your copy today at your favorite online bookseller. 

I do hope you will join our growth-oriented community. Just enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly newsletter plus a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

And, pop on over to Pinterest and check out all the tips, ideas, and recipes I have curated for you. And if you are looking for a new read, check out my books available at most of your online booksellers. 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR DESTINY!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

All rights reserved. If you'd like to use this material, please contact me at arielpaz08@gmail.com

How to Draw Nearer to God this Lenten Season

Most of us are really busy. I'm retired and I'm still really busy. We have our daily schedules, our agendas, our plans and our projects. We like our routines, our meals and our lifestyles. These give us a kind of comfort and stability in this topsy turvy world we live in. How often have you heard yourself say this:
"I don't have enough time to ......" You fill in the blank.

The Busyness of Life 
The stuff of life can keep us so busy and so stressed out, we rarely have time to do what Stephen Covey, author of numerous best selling books including "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", calls "Quadrant 2 Activities".

Quadrant 2 activities are those activities which are important but not urgent or pressing. Some of them include planning, prevention and improvement. It includes spiritual practices such as prayer, journaling, fasting, and meditation.  These habits are all crucial to our well-being, but none of them are critical or urgent. Therein lies the crux of the problem. We are addicted to the urgent and we neglect the important, as Stephen Covey says. 

Wake up calls 
Sadly, it is not until life gets uncomfortable and some crisis happens such as a sudden illness or a job loss, a breakup, or an epidemic, that stops us dead in our tracks. It is then - maybe -  that we say "Whoa, wait a minute. Maybe I need to slow down and rethink my priorities". 

When things get uncomfortable, scary, stressful, or painful, it is time to surrender, not resist. God uses everything in our lives to make us more like him and lead us into our destinies, which is - by the way - to be more like his Son, Jesus.

These times are wake-up calls of sorts. God is trying to get our attention. He may be leading us away from certain activities, jobs, situations, places, or people. He may be trying to get us to change our attitudes and behaviors. He may even want to send us help. 

God is always trying to get our attention onto what really matters. We may resist and rationalize. When God is calling us to let something or someone go, it is important to stay with the discomfort, even when it interrupts our busy lives and messes with our agendas. God has the plan. What we need to do is let go and surrender to it.

Go With the Flow

You've heard the phrase, I'm sure. But that is easier said than done when something difficult happens. We tend to fight it, escape it or look for ways to avoid dealing with it. Yet, none of these is helpful. When difficult situations present themselves, the best thing we can do is to surrender and accept instead of denying or fighting against it. Try to deal with whatever it is in a calm and focused manner. Stressing out and getting upset never helps anybody. This is when we need the help of the Holy Spirit to come to our aid. 

Personal Story 

So my elderly mom, who lived out of state, had a few falls last year. I tried to tell her she needed daily care, but she would have none of it. Then, it happened. In February, she fell and fractured her back. She called me as the EMS team was taking her to the ER. Now, I could have freaked out, but praise God. I didn't. I said a quick prayer, stayed calm and collected and talked to her all the way to the hospital, thru the x-ray process, and back to her room, trying my best to keep myself and her calm. At least I was connected to her, even if I wasn't there physically. It is in times like these that a spiritual practice comes to our aid. 

When We Don't Understand
Life is full of mysteries. Why is my mom/son/husband/boyfriend acting like this? Why did I lose my job? Why did this happen to me? We don't always understand why things happen but we can trust that whatever it is is ultimately for our good and God's glory. When the questions whirl thru my mind like the swirling winds of March, my natural tendency is to try to figure it all out but the truth is....

We don't have to figure it out. That's our ego egging us on, stressing us out. We need not fret or worry. All we have to do is trust. Trust that God sees us. Trust that God has the answer even when we are at wits end and have tried everything. 

When we don't know what to do next, it is time to wait on God. Let go and let God as they say in recovery groups. When we don't know what to do next, like Samuel said when he heard the voice of God, we need to let God know he has our attention, "Speak, Lord, your servant is listening", then listen and wait. The answer is always the same.

Come a little closer. Let that go. Trust me. 

Scripture says this: "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." (James 4:8). I often think that God allows these situations to draw us closer to him. I know I have a tendency to drift. How about you?

For Reflection 
What is it that God is working on and in you today? What is he calling you to let go of or to embrace? Are you willing to listen? To surrender? To obey? Jesus is calling you to come a little closer this season. Perhaps, like me, you sometimes get too caught up in the busyness of doing that you fail to hear the still soft voice of Jesus that beckons us to sit at his feet, just like Mary of Bethany.  

Close your eyes and listen to this song by Dierks Bentley. Jesus is saying the same thing to us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVGw7FbohY4&feature=kp

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts to encourage, inspire and motivate you.  I'll also send you a copy of my free e-book entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice" for yourself and to share with a friend.

Do pop on over to Pinterest and check out the collection I've curated on a variety of interesting topics. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter @ArielPaz08. 

Stay tuned for more on the purpose of Lent and until next time, come a little closer!

Ariel Paz

5 Tips for a Jubilant New Year

2024 is now a page in the history book. How do you feel about the year gone by? Did you accomplish the goals and dreams you planned? Are you better off today than you were a year ago? Are you filled with excitement about the New Year?

No matter where you are or how you are feeling as the New Year starts, get ready! The good news is when we start feeling stale, bored, joyless, or down and depressed, it is a sign we are on the brink of a transformation. The New Year is the perfect time to take a leap of faith into something NEW, EXCITING and maybe a little bit scary! This week I am sharing 4 actions we can take to get started on the right foot. Let's find out what they are. 

1. Leave Some Things Behind.

You know what it is. It could be a dead-end job or career decision,  a dead-beat boyfriend or relationship. Or maybe you just want to leave your old life behind and travel the world. After all, the world is your oyster!

If we want to make room for something NEW in our lives, we have to first let go of whatever is no longer bearing fruit it our lives. It's kind of like decluttering our closets. We only have so much time, energy, and money and it is important to be mindful of just how and where we spend these resources.

2. Forgive Yourself and Others 

This one is not always easy to do, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, it is possible. We all make mistakes. We say or do things in the heat of the moment that we later regret. Mistakes are learning experiences, but don't just blame someone else. There are always two sides to every story, and two people in any disagreement or conflict. Accept responsibility for your part and make the necessary changes. Hopefully the other person will do the same. Then you can forgive yourself and them and move forward. 

3. Welcome in the Joy
Joy is fuel that moves us forward into the NEW. Consider the joy factor when making any big decision. If there is no joy in it, it probably is not the right decision, person, job, etc. Moving forward in life involves trading the old for something new AND something better. We leave behind people and activities that have become stale, unhealthy, or unfruitful to open the door for new opportunities, healthier people, and activities that will bring us joy and purpose. 

Sometimes letting go means making tough choices. This is where the rubber hits the road and we have to really dig deep to find out what matters most to us. Life's choices become more difficult the closer we get to what we truly want from life. If you want to take back your life this year, I hope you'll order a copy of my ebook "Take Back Your Life: 5 Keys to Reclaiming Your Personal Power". It is also available on Amazon and Apple Books and other online booksellers. 

4. Step Out in Faith 

If we want to transform our lives, we have to be willing to step out of the boat, in other words, our comfort level. 

Recently, several friends have married. They sold their homes and moved to new cities, two of them out of the country. They left behind their friends and families to pursue a new life with their chosen mate. I left a lucrative career in IT after 30+ years, to have more peace, creativity and fulfillment in my life. My son moved out of state to pursue his passion and dreams. Moving forward involves faith, courage and the willingness to step out into the unknown. If you'd like to learn more about strengthening your faith, check out my collection of books on spiritual growth here. 

5. Discover Your Destiny

I don't know about you, but I believe we each were put on this earth for a purpose. Not to just live a humdrum ordinary get-by life. You were meant for more than status quo! I love the way author Marianne Williamson puts it when she says, "You began as a thought in the mind of God". I recently heard it put like this, "You will only go as far as you can envision yourself going." or something like that. If we want to make a difference in this world, we have to have a vision for our lives. If we want to soar like the eagle, we must ignite the power within so we can discover our destiny. 

For Reflection
What is it that is no longer bringing you joy? Certain relationships? A nowhere job? A church or community? Unhealthy behaviors and thought patterns? Do a run through and see.

Are you pursuing your dreams and aspirations? Rising to new levels? Or are you content with the status quo? The same old same old? When boredom sets in and we lose our joy and zest for life, that is a sign it's time for something new. We were meant to fly like eagles and SOAR!

If you'd like to grow your faith, check out my true story "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness, and harmony" available on Amazon and your favorite online bookseller. Or you can order the digital format by emailing me at arielpaz08@gmail.com for $3.99. 

If you feel motivated and encouraged by this post, enter your email in the box provided and you'll receive my weekly posts. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom.

Until next time, keep looking up and get ready to SOAR!

Ariel Paz 


All rights reserved. If you'd like to use this material, contact me at arielpaz08@gmail.com

Ignite the Power Within Step 3: Make Room for What Really Matters

Most of us lead pretty full lives, yes? We are always on the go. Our to do lists are never ending and the activities never ceasing. But yet, in those still quiet moments, we get that gnawing feeling that somehow we are unfulfilled and we have lost our joy. We really don't know what's important anymore. Ever feel that way?

It happens to all of of us from time to time. It's kind of like when our closets are bulging with beautiful clothes. We stand there in confusion wondering what to wear. How can we decide what's important when our closets and our lives are so cluttered?

If the rooms of our lives are so full of stuff i.e activities, how can we possibly know and then make room for what truly matters? Begin by getting rid of what is no longer useful.

Every 6 months or so, I ask myself this question "What am I holding on to that I no longer need? and then I begin an inventory of my life. I start with the easy and mundane like my kitchen drawers and cabinets. Then I move on to the house and closets. Then it's time to analyze the deeper things like my priorities, activities, habits and thought patterns, and relationships. Which of these are no longer useful or bearing fruit?

To be honest, I have been guilty of holding on to cars, jobs, and some relationships for far too long. I've held on to negative thought patterns as well. The result of trying to hold on to something or someone that God was trying to get me to let go of was stress and anxiety. We are not meant to live all stressed out but it does take some effort to figure out what needs to go. 

The key is to realize when I am holding on to something that is non-productive sooner rather than later, and then - let it go! When we let go of something  people and activities that no longer serve us, we make room for something better to come along like JOY! So why do we hold on so long?

It comes back to that ugly four-letter word - fear. Remember, we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7). Let's not shrink back in fear of letting go of something or someone that is not good for us. God always has something better He is waiting to give us, but we must have open hands to receive it. Let go of the "I must do all this" or "I should do this"  mentality and instead, reframe your life into "I want to do this". See what a difference it will make in your life.

For Reflection
What is it that you are holding on to that is no longer bearing fruit? A job? A relationship? Stuff in your garage or closets?

Today, I encourage you to take a step of faith to let go of whatever it is that is holding you back from receiving what really matters to you. If we want new things to come into our lives, we need to make room for them, just like in our closets. Take time to reevaluate your priorities and decide if it's time to let go of something or someone.

If you enjoyed this post and like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my weekly posts.  I'll also send you my free guide entitled

"7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to get you started. And do check out my many offerings on Pinterest. 

Until next time, stay connected and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz  

@arielpaz08 Instagram 

@Arielpaz Facebook 

How to Strengthen Your Spiritual Muscle

Where is your peace level today on a scale of 1 - 10? Afraid to go out of the house? Anxious about the nightly news? Conflicted about the election, the stock market, the wars? The list of things that can steal our peace is endless. Yet, there is a better way to live than allowing these negative thought patterns to cripple you and steal your peace and joy. You have more power available to you than you may realize.These are all opportunities to strengthen what I call our spiritual muscle, otherwise known as the power of Faith. 

You Have Supernatural Power 

Each of us has been given a special power, a measure of faith, if you will. It starts off small, like a mustard seed, but by exercising it in tough situations, it becomes mighty like a tall cedar tree. When life presents us with difficult situations, these are opportunities to exercise our spiritual muscle. Just as we work out to strengthen our physical muscles, in the same way we need to "work out" to strengthen our spiritual muscle. Life and circumstances provide plenty of ways to get one.  

Personal Story 

So when I was a little girl, my mother relates that I was afraid of .....my shadow. Yup, my shadow. My family moved 31 times and each time I had to go to a new school, it was anxiety-provoking. Plus my mom always got me to school late and I would be so embarrassed to slip into class, hoping the other kids wouldn't notice. People described me as "shy" and "timid". Thankfully, as a young adult, I began to learn about God. I took a theology course in college and read the Bible end to end. I believe God was preparing me for what lie ahead.

Through many challenges such as an abusive marriage, a bitter divorce and financial ruin, several critical health crises, becoming a single parent, and raising two boys on my own, I learned about the power of God and the power of Faith. I can honestly say I've walked thru Hell and come out alive. 

A Life Transformed 

Today, I am writing books on the subject to encourage others. The trials I've been through have made me a stronger person. Now, I speak my mind and stand my ground. I no longer let people walk all over me or disrespect me. I am not afraid of anything that breathes. This is the power of Faith in action. 

People have often said to me "You have a strong faith". It is because I have been through a lot of tough situations and trusted God through them all. I exercised my spiritual muscle. I can assure you when you begin to use the techniques I outline in my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to SuperCharge Your Spiritual Growth", you too will be transformed.  

We are Each on Our Own Journey 

Everyone is on their own journey. I believe that all religions and spiritual paths are connected in some mysterious way since many have common beliefs and values. I also believe in the Resurrection power of Jesus Christ and have experienced first-hand, the miracle-working power of Faith in many dire situations in my life. Situations where something dead and hopeless was resurrected. Health issues resolved that even specialists could not figure out. There is super power we receive when we accept Jesus Christ into our lives but that is a personal choice we each must make. 

If you'd like to read about my true story of faith, miracles, and healing, order a copy of my true story, "The Power of Faith: a journey to healing, wholeness, and harmony" I can promise you, you will be amazed. 

Walking in Faith  

In order to live in peace and keep our joy on a daily basis, it is important we learn to walk by faith and not by sight. In other words, we need to expect good outcomes from difficult situations even before we see them.  This is tough but it is a choice we make to believe that somehow God will work things out. Scripture says "He will make a way, where there seems to be no way." For more on this concept, read this encouraging post. It takes supernatural power to be able to see through the eyes of Faith. 

For Reflection 

Do you have a spiritual practice? Where do you stand with God? Is there a situation that is troubling you right now? Now is the time to strengthen YOUR SPIRITUAL MUSCLE and you, my friend, are in the right place! In the coming weeks, I'll be sharing specific steps to help you develop your own spiritual practice. 

If you enjoyed this post and are interested in becoming more empowered, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts on spiritual growth plus I'll also send you out a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". We're all on this journey together so do share it with a friend or loved one.

Stayed tuned for more on this empowering topic on how to ignite the power within.

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Ignite the Power Within Step 3: Learn to Let Go

Have you ever lost something you valued? A piece of jewelry? A relationship? A child? A pet? A home? Things and people get taken from us often without our consent and sometimes, quite suddenly. Think of all the people who have lost homes and possessions due to hurricanes and tornados. Now they have a lot to let go of both emotionally and mentally. Today, to help us deal with these difficult situations, I am sharing a skill we all need to learn which is Step 3 in our transformational journey to ignite the power within. 

What does letting go mean?

I thought everyone knew the concept of letting go, but one day a friend asked me what it meant. She had been grieving her dead husband for over 10 years and I finally said to her, "Sounds like it is time to let go." 

"What does that mean?" she asked. I was incredulous.  

So let me explain the idea which encompasses a lot more than we realize. 

Letting go means accepting what is, relinquishing control of people and circumstances, and mentally "letting go" of obsessive thoughts and emotions about a particular person, thing, relationship, or whatever. It is HUGE when it comes to keeping our peace and our joy. 

In order to let go, we need to look for a new perspective, reevaluate our priorities, and most importantly, trust that God has allowed something to happen for a reason, and that there is something better in store for us. Here's a personal story that illustrates this point.

Personal Story about Material Possessions

A few years ago, I lost a beloved opal necklace that had been a graduation gift from my favorite uncle, who has long passed. I looked high and low for it - in the house, the car, the garage. It was nowhere to be found. I prayed and prayed to find it and one day I did - crushed to smithereens next to my car.

"Well, at least now I know what happened to it," I said with finality. The unrest I was feeling was gone. There was no more hope of finding the necklace intact and I was at peace - closure. In the same way, we feel unrest when we lose something we value. It could be a relationship, a job, or a pet. Who knows how the necklace fell on the ground? We don't always understand why unfortunate things happen. We don't even have to. The lesson is in the letting go. 

After the emotion of losing the cherished necklace dissipated,  I decided to visit a local jewelry store to see how much a replacement would cost. I found a necklace I liked. The saleswoman quoted me the cost explaining that it was a very good price considering the price of gold these days. Now, I have to tell you that I didn't feel very comfortable spending that much money on jewelry for myself. That's just not something I do. 

"If you like, you can put a deposit down and think about it," she suggested.

"That's a good idea. I'll do that."

As she looked my name up in her system, she says to me, "You have a credit on your account."

"Really?" I replied, my eyebrows arching in surprise.

After researching a bit more, the saleswoman decided to go ahead and discount the necklace to less than half the original price. Now that is the favor of God.

"What a deal," I exclaimed. "I'll take it." Needless to say, I was elated. I now had a replacement for the necklace I had lost and God had given me something better at a great price!

Examples of letting go. 
And that is exactly what God will do for you when you let go of whatever is causing you unrest and stealing your peace. Now I am not just talking about material possessions. The practice of letting go involves letting go of anything or anyone we have a strong attachment to. This is why spouses suffer so much when their spouse dies. Or when kids leave the nest, why moms have such a hard time. Or when a beloved pet dies or goes missing. Or when the stock market drops. It is natural to care and love, but we must do so lightly. Don't have too strong a grip on anyone or anything. This what memories are for. To comfort us in our time of loss. And it is normal to grieve, but if it goes on for an inordinate amount of time, like my friend, it is time to let go. You alone will know when that time comes. 

Trusting God

Letting go is a practice. Say "practice." I think life keeps giving us opportunities to learn how to let go until we master the lesson and can do it more quickly and with less emotional stress. This is also a practice in trusting God. God sees our pain, really he does. 

For Reflection

Beloved, what person, relationship, or thing are you holding on to today that is causing you unrest? Trust God, let it go, and wait for the Lord to give you the desires of your heart. Remember, "Seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." (Matt. 6:34)

Offerings for You 
If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our growing blog community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts, updates when my new books come out, plus a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path." And do follow me on Instagram and Facebook @ArielPaz08. On Pinterest check out all the cool stuff I have collected on a wide variety of topics such as recipes, diet and exercise, fashion and beauty, prayer and mindfulness, and much more! 

I hope this post encouraged you and do stay tuned for part 4 on our series on igniting the power within and until next time, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

4 Things You Can Do to Be Emotionally Free

The Fourth of July is already upon us. For many, it is an extra day off from work, a time to grill burgers and get together with friends, and a time to watch fireworks light up the sky. Most of all, it is a time to celebrate our freedom here in this country. 

It was on July 4, 1776 that our founding fathers gathered to sign the declaration of  independence to free themselves and many others from British rule. We owe them a great debt of gratitude for the price they paid to loose themselves from bondage under England and to establish this great nation. We also owe a great debt to those who continue to give their lives in service so that we may maintain our freedoms.

We in America are free from the oppression that faced our founding fathers, but many today are in bondage of another kind -  emotional bondage. Emotional bondage happens when we have not let go of past hurts, bitterness, or resentments. We dwell in the past - what someone said or did to us, a traumatic experience, a divorce, a breakup, a financial failure. These things happen to all of us. They are part of the human experience. The key is to learn from these situations and then heal, move on and move forward.

But many don't. They stay stuck in the same emotional muck. What's worse is they keep recounting the injury, the hurt, the incident - day after day, year after year. Is there someone in your life like this?

When we stubbornly refuse to let go of hurts, we stay stuck. We lose our peace and our joy and we lose the beauty of the present moment. Negative emotions also affect us physically: digestive issues, headaches, back pain. Many physical symptoms are tied to some negative emotional root. Thankfully, it is never too late to let go and be set free.

As someone who has healed and is still healing from much trauma, I have found  4 things we can do to have more joy, less drama, and experience more emotional freedom:

1. Choose carefully. 
We in this country have freedom of choice. We can choose who and what we allow into our lives. We can choose to learn better patterns of relating to others. We can choose what thoughts we dwell on. We can choose thoughts of faith and positivity, rather than thoughts of fear, worry and negativity. Emotional freedom begins first and foremost in our mind.

2. Pay attention. 
Contrary to how I was raised, it is very important to pay attention to our feelings. Now, I am not saying we should let our feelings control us but we do have to be aware of them and figure out what they are trying to tell us. They are internal indicators of what is going on with us. Am I feeling depressed? Anxious? Sad? Hurt? Rejected? Lonely? Angry? All of these are warning signs that something is not right. Ask yourself what is going on in your life that is making you feel that way and then ...

3. Take action.
The founding fathers had a cause they believed in and were committed to. They took action. In the same way, if we are committed to a freer life, we must take action: to heal ourselves emotionally and spiritually if we want to achieve our goals and dreams, enjoy better relationships, and live a freer life. Change doesn't just happen. We have to make it a priority if we want to enjoy a better life. When we do what we can, God will step in and do what we can't. So what can we do?

4. Set  boundaries. 
Just as the early settlers said "No" to England's oppressive rules and taxation, we, too, must say no to people and behaviors that are not good for us which includes saying "No" to people we love and care about. To be emotionally free means to separate from the drama and turmoil that emotionally immature people bring with them such as verbal assaults, constant chatter, guilt and blame trips and manipulative and controlling behaviors. Once we learn to recognize these behaviors for what they are, we can call attention to them and set limits with these people. The energy we expend dealing with negative people can be better used to focus on our goals and dreams.

We must also set limits on the demands on our time and energy. The world is always clamoring "do more, have more, buy more". This is lunacy. We really don't need to do as much as we think we have to do or have as much as we think we need to have. Repeat after me "I am enough, I do enough." We get caught on the rat wheel of life and it is perpetual. We can only go so long before we will wear out. Pace yourself. 

You will survive without the latest iPhone or high def television. These are not necessities. They are luxuries. There is a blessing from living a simpler, slower, less complicated life and that is emotional and mental peace. There is a high cost to pay and the choice is ours. 

We don't need to feel guilty about setting boundaries either. Saying "no" is a form of self-care which is crucial to living an emotionally free and peaceful life. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is a responsibility you have to yourself. Don't let anyone guilt you into not doing it. If we don't take good care of ourselves, we won't be in any position to help or care for others. For more on boundary setting, check out this article. 

If we want to live free, we must choose peace and freedom every day over being controlled or manipulated by someone. I escaped from a controlling and abusive marriage long ago, but the lesson remains. God keeps giving me retests with the various toxic people in my life.

As it says in Galatians 5:1 "Stand fast therefore in the freedom of Christ, and do not be entangled again in the yoke of bondage." Did you get that? Entangled. If we are not paying attention to who and what we allow into our lives, we will be entangled again. Pay attention to your feelings and deal with toxic people promptly. I no longer make excuses for my loved ones behavior nor do I take their behavior personally. I have realized it is about them, not me. Learn to recognize oppressive behaviors quickly and take action promptly. 

For Reflection
Do you get entangled in situations or conversations that steal your freedom, peace, and joy?  Do you allow yourself to get sucked in to drama? What actions can you take to be more free? Who do you need to say "no" to in order to have more freedom and peace of mind?

Love to hear your feedback on this post. If you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts as well as your copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" simply enter your email address in the box provided and I'll send it right out to you. 

Happy birthday, America, and may God bless us always! 

Stay tuned for more practical and spiritual tips on how to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Ignite the Power Within Step 3:8 Tips for Breaking a Bad Habit

Bad habits. We all have them. Don't kid yourself that your seemingly perfect friend is flawless. She has hers too. Habits are tough to break, for sure, but they can be broken.  Today, in our continuing series on transformation, we'll talk about how changing our thinking and learning to let go can help us transform our lives.

Where do bad habits start?
Bad habits often come from a poor self-image. Some bad habits include over-eating, getting high, drinking or shopping to excess, biting one's nails, picking one's skin, etc. The list goes on and on. The media overemphasizes being thin, having long luxurious hair and a porcelain complexion. It is important to realize these are all just mind games to make us spend our money on their products. Being super-model thin, having extra long lashes or a peaches and cream complexion is not going to make us a better person but our society has been conditioned to place a high value on the superficial. True beauty comes from within a person, not what's on the outside. 

No matter how long we have had the habit, it is possible to break it. We have probably had them for quite a while so be patient with yourself. Here are some steps I am using to break one of my bad habits.

1. Make a decision to let it go.
All change starts with a decision and a change of mind. We must decide we are no longer going to tolerate a certain behavior and that we are going to make geting rid of it a top priority. It is hard to tackle a bad habit when we are busy focused on other things.  

2. Bring more awareness to the habit.
Instead of pretending it is not a problem, really focus on when you engage in the habit. As we said before, practice mindfulness. Be more aware of how often you do the behavior. It helps to write down when we engage in the behavior AND how we are feeling at the time. This helps bring the unconscious into the conscious. Keeping a log or a journal is great for bringing habits into awareness. 

3. Notice how you're feeling.
Emotions and stress have a lot to do with bad habits. We reach for the ice cream, the mac and cheese,  the chocolate or the glass of wine when we're feeling stressed and need comforting. Feeling our feelings is vital to connecting the dots and making positive changes. When we ignore our feelings, we fall back in the same negative patterns. Respect your feelings and give them the attention they are asking for.   

4. Substitute positive behaviors for the negative behavior. 
For example, instead of having that piece of cake or cookie, pick up a piece of fruit or go for a walk. Sip a glass of lemon water or hot herbal tea instead of alcohol. Stop yourself before you engage in the behavior by counting to 6 slowly. Then ask yourself if you really want whatever it is. If you do, go ahead and indulge and don't feel guilty. You are making a conscious choice and that is part of breaking the habit loop.

5. Be patient with yourself. 
Most bad habits took years to develop. Changing them isn't going to happen overnight and there will be setbacks. Forgive yourself, understand what caused the setback, and start again. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. That only enforces the behavior. Remember - tomorrow is a new day.

6. Develop a support system. 
Yes, I know it is embarassing to share your flaws with another person but we need support. Find someone you can trust and confide in them. Use the buddy system. Have them tell you something they want to work on and you can be the support for them and vice versa.  Don't try to go it alone.

7. Manage the stress. 
Stress makes us more prone to give in to bad habits: having that extra glass of wine, going back for seconds, chugging the beer, and heading for the bathroom mirror. When we are stressed, we have less self-control. We tell ourselves things like "I worked hard all week. I deserve this." What we deserve is to take better care of ourselves and to treat ourselves and our bodies with respect.

8. Watch the self-talk. 
Habits develop over time. We have internal dialogues that we might not even be aware of that perpetuate bad habits. For example, we might think "I ought to have perfectly thin thighs. But because I don't, I'm fat and ugly". Or "I can't put on a swimsuit because of these thighs." Men do the same thing. How many times have you seen a man wearing a cap on and when he takes it off, he is bald. Don't they know bald is sexy? These types of negative thinking patterns distort the truth about ourselves. We don't have to have perfectly thin or clear anything. We don't need a full head of hair to be loveable. We need to love ourselves exactly as we are while we are working on improving. Self-love and acceptance are crucial to making changes.

So there you have my 8 tips for breaking a bad habit. Give them a try and hang in there. You are not alone. We all have habits to break. When we make taking better care of ourselves a priority, we will see progress.

For Reflection 

What habit would you like to get rid of? Will you make a decision to make changing a priority? What are you saying to yourself about your habit? 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our blog community, enter your email address in the box provided. I'll also send you out a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

This wraps up our series on transformation. I hope you enjoyed it. As the busy season and the flu season ramp up, the topic for October will be on staying well and healthy as we prepare for the holiday season. We'll talk about health, flu prevention, sleep, and maybe some Ayurvedic philosophies thrown in. Do tune in! 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz