How to Use Mindfulness to Transform Your Life

Ever notice there is always construction going on someplace? Just like the roads around here, we are all a work in progress.  Seems like there is always something to repair, reconstruct, or rebuild. The same goes for us. You'll know when a change is needed when you hit a rough patch - a relationship goes on the rocks, communication gets muddied, you feel down, depressed or lose your joy.

The good news is that tough times are actually opportunities for change, growth and renewal and this week I am sharing three ways being more mindful can help us transform our lives.  

            

1. Make time to self-reflect 

When we go through a tough time, the tendency is to want to move through it quickly, to distract ourselves, to distance from loved ones or to keep ourselves too busy to think. But this is the wrong approach. Tough times come to teach us something, to grow us up, to refine our character. The question to ask ourselves is "What do I need to learn from this?" and "How can I be better?"

2. Be More Mindful

Awareness is the first step to change. When we slow down our busy lives, we are able to be more mindful during our day. It will all get done, sooner or later but better to do it in peace than in a hurry. You know how when you take a nice leisurely stroll you notice the flowers, the sounds of the birds, the colors of the trees,  provided, of course, you are not talking on your phone. Ahem. 

Versus when you go for a run, all you can think about is your legs, your breathing and your feet. You don't really notice your surroundings. This too is being mindful in a different way. When we run, we focus on our body instead of the scenery, just watch out for traffic and deer. 

Life is not a race. We should not be rushing through it. We should be enjoying it and paying attention: to our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. This is what wholeness is all about. Making all of these work together in harmony. 

3. It's a Skill 

Practicing mindfulness is a skill we all can benefit from. It helps us to pay more attention to ourselves by shining the laser beam of attention on our thoughts and behaviors. 

When we shine the light on ourselves rather than focusing on what the other person said or did, we are able to see things more clearly. It is only then we are able to make positive changes because we can only change ourselves.  For more on mindfulness and meditation, check out my posts on this important topic. 

An Example
Let's look at over-eating for example or eating when we are not really hungry. I know I still struggle with these myself. Ask yourself these questions before you get something to eat. 

- Am I really hungry?

- When did I eat last?

- What am I feeling?

- What am I thinking about? 

Keep a diary of these thoughts and when you eat and you will see patterns in your eating that you can adjust to lose the weight. Often we go on auto-pilot and eat not out of true hunger but something else usually something emotionally stressful and we are trying to self-soothe ourselves with food or drink or a smoke. 

4. Take off the Pressure 

Personal story

I hate pressure. I don't do well under pressure. After retiring, I still felt the pressure. But where was it coming from? Me! Finally, I put up a sticky note on my kitchen cabinet that said "Stop the pressure." There was no need. Many of us pressure ourselves needlessly and this steals our peace and our joy. 

Change and transformation take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? Be gentle with yourself. Keep at it and keep the faith. Don't try and lean on your own will-power which is limited. Instead, lean on God. It is by his grace and through his power that we are able to overcome the obstacles in our path to growth and transformation. 2 Corinthians 12:19 says "My grace is sufficient for you". Hang on to that promise and you will be victorious no matter what you are trying to change because God is faithful. 

For Reflection 
What are you struggling with today? What can you do to be more gentle and compassionate with yourself? What is one step you can take to make the change a reality today? 

If this post resonated with you, join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly newsletter plus a copy of my free eguide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover your destiny. 

Until next time,  keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Process Stress Without Losing Your Cool

So how have you been holding up all the world events? The wars? Inflation? The elections? Your relationships? If you've been feeling edgy, anxious, fearful, or impatient, this post is for you. And you are not alone.

The Importance of a Spiritual Path

Stress affects everyone and that is why it is so important to consciously cultivate a spiritual path. The more reactive we are to stress, the more important it is to learn, or rather unlearn, old thinking and behavior patterns. 

Everyone is on a spiritual path, whether they know it or not. What's more, everyone needs a spiritual path, not just those who have been abused, addicted, or abandoned. 

We all need healing.   

How can I say this? Because after years of thinking dysfunction happens only in "broken" or "alcoholic" homes, I've seen enough people from seemingly "normal" families have the same kinds of drama and issues. I'd scratch my head and ask "How did that happen? Her parents weren't divorced/alcoholic/addicts or whatever."

Until one day, it dawned on me - each of us is in need of healing of some sort be it from our past or something that was handed down to us generationally. This is what a spiritual path is all about - healing so we can become whole, integrated, and harmonious beings. We are, after all, body, mind, and spirit and we whether we realize it or not, we each have areas we need to heal.  Author Wayne Dyer says "there is a spiritual solution to every problem," and if we look deep enough, we will find it.

The Need for a Spiritual Path 

The problem is that many of us are not aware that we are on a spiritual journey or that we need healing, so we fail to look for spiritual solutions to processing the stress in our lives. Often, people turn from God or deny his very existence. They shy away from any kind of spiritual path because they are hurting from something or afraid of something. Or it could just be their ego not wanting to admit they need to grow in some area. We look to medications, drinking, food, fun, activities, work, and relationships to console them but sooner or later we realize, we must go deeper. The answer lies not in distraction, but in introspection. 

We are thirsty for peace. 

Jesus knew this when he said "I will give you  living water and you will never thirst again." (John 4:13). The organized church has let many down, including yours truly. Hence, the popularity of such alternative ways to healing and peace. Groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, meditation groups, and yoga classes are thriving these days. Participants realize there is a spiritual struggle going on underneath the covers of the suffering they are experiencing. 

Personal Story 

We are a three part entity: body, mind, and spirit. An injury to any one part affects the other parts. The Chinese have known this for centuries. 

Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) has long correlated physical ailments with emotions. For example, a few years ago, I went to an acupuncturist for treatment of an asthma condition I suddenly developed. I had never had asthma in my life and I wondered what was going on.

"Asthma affects the lungs and the lungs store grief," the specialist explained.
"Have you experienced any grief lately?"
"Grief!" I exclaimed, suddenly bursting into tears.
"Yes, I have experienced grief in several very close relationships all in the same year."

The light bulb went on. My body was reacting to the emotional pain I had experienced. Once I gained awareness of all the grief I was experiencing, I was able to process it and the asthma symptoms completely went away. When we bring light to the darkness of the pain in our spirits, we can process the wounds and the emotions, which then allow us to heal at the physical level as well. So how does one know if one is in need of some kind of healing?

Signs of Needing Healing:

1) Physical symptoms and pain
Diseases such as fibromyalgia, arthritis, high blood pressure, IBS, migraine, depression, addictions, and back pain may all have emotional and spiritual roots.

2) Incessant chatter 
Are your conversations self-absorbed monologues (all about you)? Do you focus on the negative circumstances in life more than the positives?

3) Fear of the future
Does anxiety about what may happen steal your peace and joy? Do you feel a need to keep up with every negative news story, gossip, or Hollywood drama? Do you make decisons out of fear?

4) Overdependence on entertainment and other people
Do you always have to be around people? Are you uncomfortable being by yourself? Do you dread being alone? Are you always planning the next activity or event? There is nothing wrong with entertainment but when it becomes a major focal point that indicates a problem. 

5) Preoccupation with any one area of life 
Are you a workaholic? Exercise fanatic? Overly involved with your kids? Is there any area others would say you put too much time into?

6) Inability to overcome addictions 
Some addictions are overeating, alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn, and codependency. In fact, anything done to excess may be an addiction, a way to cover up emotional pain. 

For Reflection:

Did any of these hit home? What do you think is at the root of the issue? If you are not in a spiritual growth group, consider joining one that fits your comfort level.  

My goal is to do my part to help the world heal one person at a time so we can all conquer stress, live in harmony, and pursue our destinies! 

If this post was helpful, consider joining our community by entering your email address in the box provided. In addition to receiving my weekly posts, I am offering my free eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". I'm not talking about religion here, so please don't confuse the two. Spirituality is very different from "organized religion" although we may find our path in church for a time and that is quite alright. When you enter your email in the box provided, I'll get it right out to you. 

Also, do pop over and check out my many Pinterest boards on a wide variety of topics you are sure to find of interest. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom on how you, too, can find healing, wholeness, and harmony so you can ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

5 Principles of Personal Power

Have you seen the TV show "American Greed"? It's about the dishonest things people do for financial gain and what scams some people will fall for. If we want to ignite our personal power so we can see our goals and dreams come true, we must become people of integrity.

Recent events in our country and around the globe magnify the fact that people are being led by their emotions so today I'm sharing on the topic of personal power - what it means, and how we can become men and women of integrity instead of being controlled by outside influences, our emotions, and our whims. 

Personal power means our thoughts, words, and actions are congruent with each other. Every major religion talks about wholeness. Wholeness is defined as the state of being complete, unified, not divided or disjointed. It means walking the walk, not just talking the talk. It is a state we must work towards if we want to live a life of peace, joy, and fulfillment.

When we go against ourselves in any way, we not only lose our peace and our joy, we lose our personal power. Basically, personal power means that our values, thoughts, and actions are of one accord; they are in agreement and in sync with each other. Scripture puts it like this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." (Luke 10:27).

We are not conflicted. We don't say one thing and do another. Our actions line up with our words. Now I'm not saying we will always do this perfectly, but we should strive towards getting better at it over time.

Here are some of the basic principles of personal power for us to consider:

1. You keep your word.
By and large, many people's word means little to them these days. Give a listen to pop culture and their language. Often words mean the exact opposite of what they actually mean. We hear things like "Oh, that's killer." or "You kill me", meaning the other person is funny. What gives?

One of my pet peeves is when people say "Yes" to an event or an activity and then they cancel at the last minute for no real reason. Or they say they are going to do something and then they don't follow through. These people have no sense of commitment or integrity.

Or how about when someone says they will keep your secret and then they go blab it to their entire family? Another Grrrrrr. And if you do mess up, since we all do, at least be mature enough to own up to it and apologize, instead of getting defensive and denying it. Messing up is an opportunity to own up to our behavior and to grow. Don't miss the chance or you may lose something in the process - like a good friend.

2. You are trustworthy. 
You keep confidences. You show up on time. I had a friend who was always 10 - 15 minutes late. So when a potential employer called me to ask about her timeliness, I told them. Late is late. Sure, when it happens once in a while,  we can let that go, but when it becomes a pattern, that is a sign of a person who is not reliable and has time management issues.

3. You are considerate of other people. 
Whole people think of others before themselves. They go out of their way to be kind and thoughtful. They don't take people for granted. They appreciate others. They empathize. They care. They put themselves in the other person's shoes.

4. You follow through on commitments. 
A person who has personal power will follow through on what they start, even if they lose interest or no longer "feel like it". When you agree to do some act of service, volunteer, or show up somewhere, don't bail out at the last minute or before you've finished the task. Others are counting on you. Be the one who shows up. Commitment is a sign of integrity and wholeness. It is also a sign of maturity.

5. You are a person of good moral standards. 
It's easy to steal something small from the office or pirate a video and make an excuse. Or how about when you don't get charged for something at the register? Do you keep silent? Do you tell "little white lies"? There is no such thing as a "little white lie". A lie is a lie. Period. That goes for half-truths as well. When we leave out part of the story that is the same as lying. I had an ex-boyfriend who used to tell half-truths. I always felt something was amiss but couldn't put my finger on it till one Christmas evening when I realized what was really going on and that was the end of that. 

These are some areas we can each come up higher. No one is perfect but sometimes we have to have things pointed out to us. Often, we get into bad habits and we don't realize how we affect other people. Personal power and wholeness is part of the personal growth process. If we want to move forward into our destiny, and have more peace, joy, and success, we must come up higher by becoming people of integrity.

I hope this post has inspired you. If you felt a prick of conscience, then good. You know what to do. As you know, I write on personal experience and when bad things happen to me, I turn them into blog material.

If you would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts and a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  And if you are ready to ditch fear and anxiety for good, check out my new book "Finding Faith in a World of Fear: 10 Steps to Strengthening Your Spiritual Muscle". 

Stay tuned for more on healing, wholeness, and harmony so we can all ignite the power within and discover our destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Live a Life You'll Love

Do you often wish your life was different?  Do you envy friends who seem to have it better off than you do? Do you ruminate about your problems and compare your life to other people's? I think we all do at times. It's normal, but not productive and certainly does not contribute to our joy. There is something we can do to improve our lives and feel more joyful and today we are going to talk about what that is.

Life can be tough, no doubt about it. The challenges we face can seem unending, but the good news is the challenges are meant for our good. There is always a lesson to be learned to help us grow and come up higher. This is a fact of life. The key is how we view the challenges we face.

But we have to do our part. Here's an analogy to communicate my point here.

Personal Story
Most of my friends know that I love to dance. It's fun, good exercise, and a great stress relief at the end of a long work week. However, I am particular where I go to dance. I want to hear good music I want to dance to. They have to put some effort into it, ya know what I mean? It's just not worth it to get all dressed, put makeup on, drive, and pay money to go listen to some band play a bunch of songs that don't move me.  I want to be MOVED! Good music comes from putting forth effort!

Let me give you another example from daily life - house cleaning. When I was working, I used to hire people to clean my house. I remember one woman said to me "Well, I don't clean microwaves." I wanted to ask her "Is that not part of the kitchen?" but I kept my mouth shut.

I don't think my expectations are unrealistic. Life requires effort for things to turn out well. Why do you think people have bought Japanese products for so many years? What makes a good restaurant last? Good quality and good service, right?

In the same way, as children of God, we should be people of excellence and quality. Whatever we are doing, we need to do it with excellence. God rewards excellence. Now, I am not saying we need to be perfect, but we should try to do our best. We are not supposed to settle for mediocrity, make excuses, or do anything half-way. We should be whole-hearted in whatever we commit to. This is how you achieve a better life. After all, God gave us His best - his son Jesus.

We are ambassadors. An ambassador is a representative. When people look at my life, I want them to be see what Jesus has done for me - his blessings, his faithfulness, his mercy, his peace, his healing, his forgiveness. We are to reflect the personhood of Jesus Christ.

If we want to enjoy a life of excellence, we have to put effort - effort on our jobs, effort to stay in shape, effort to be kind, effort to improve our relationships. Excellence is not for the faint-hearted or the undisciplined. Excellence is for those who really want it. If we want God's best, then we must be willing to give him OUR best. God rewards faith, effort, and obedience.

In fact, there is a spiritual principle behind this concept.  "You reap what you sow" (Gal 6:7). It is a universal principle that we can choose to ignore, but nonetheless, the results will always hold true.

For Reflection
Are you bemoaning the state of your life? Do you want a better life? If so, what kind of standards have you set for yourself? Are you putting your best effort forth to do what it takes to see results?

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as unto the Lord."(Col 3:23)

I am sure this post may have stirred some of you up. Agree? Disagree? Drop me a note and share your thoughts. If this post motivated you, consider joining our community and enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free eguide, "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom on how to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

The Lure of Addiction: How to Understand and Help

Do you know someone who struggles with addiction? Perhaps you do. The truth is many of us struggle with addiction to one degree or another. It could be drugs or alcohol, smoking or gambling. It could be overeating, overworking, perfectionism or overachieving. These are all forms of addictions - trying to get a need met in an unhealthy and excessive way. Today we will dive into this relevant and painful subject to understand why people get addicted and what to do about it.

We all need connection and to feel loved, valued, and appreciated, yet many do not. There are a multitude of reasons for this disconnection, such as divorce, the breakdown of the family unit, the need to succeed, and the fast pace of life, to name a few. It takes time and effort to connect to others.

Divorce has divided many families, including my own. Kids feel ignored, unloved, and guilty so they turn to substances such as drugs and alcohol to fill that ache in their hearts. Others turn to abusive relationships to fill that need.

This growing number begs the question - why are so many addicted?

Recently on an Oprah radio, I heard a short part of a dialogue between Russell Brand and Oprah. Russell Brand is a British comedian who was briefly married to the pop music star, Katy Perry. Oprah asked the question if one can ever get over an addiction like to drugs or sex and Russell made a statement that really got me to thinking. It went something like this.

"Addicts are usually very sensitive people who realize they are not connected spiritually and are looking for that feeling from the addictive substance or behavior."

Kind of puts a different spin on the whole addiction thing.  Human beings are made with an internal desire to be connected not only to other people but also to God. We are spiritual beings living in a human body but some fail to recognize this need.

Perhaps you've had an experience with an addict or an addiction, or know someone who does. They are usually very lovable, attractive, seductive, and charming personalities. They make you laugh and they make you cry. But deep down inside, like so many of us, they are hurting and they usually don't know why. So they seek solace and connection in something or someone that temporarily comforts their souls.

Addiction comes in many forms. Some choose alcohol. Others choose smoking, drugs, food, gambling, sex, work, exercise, approval. The list goes on and on. In fact, anything done to excess can be an addiction. And that includes relationships as well. Nothing, not even a relationship, is meant to be a substitute for God.

We all have a spiritual need, a void, a hunger deep down inside. God made us that way; to long for connection. We try and fill this need with so many different things, but only one person will truly fulfill that desire and He is God. Sooner or later most of us come to this realization, usually after we hit rock bottom in one or many areas of our lives. Even the wisest man on earth, King Solomon, came to this conclusion when he said:

"Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!" (Ecclesiastes 1:2).

Have you been deeply hurt in the past and look to substances, activities, or people to fill that loneliness and cover the pain?  Today is the day to get to know God. He  wants you to be healed and whole. As I say in my book, "The Power of Faith",  "When we are ready to meet God, He is ready to meet us."

If you'd like to ignite the power within and discover your destiny, join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly emails and also a copy of my latest freebie.

Stay tuned for more practical and spiritual wisdom and

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel

Ignite the Power Within Step 4: Does Your Life Need an Alignment?

Ever notice your car veering off to one side of the road?  Even though you want to go straight, your car is pulling in another direction. This usually indicates your car is in need of a front-end alignment.

In a similar way, life can get out of alignment. Other people, too many activities and even our own thoughts can be distractions and cause us to veer off course. If we want to stay on track and see our goals and dreams come true, every area of our life needs to be working together. What I think, say, and do all need to be congruent; that is, in alignment. Here are three keys to getting back on track.

1. Pay attention to frustration and overwhelm
There are  many things that vie for our time and energy. People and activities pull us in different directions and it is very easy to get side-tracked from where we really want to go or who we want to be in life. Frustration can be a signal to us that we are "off-course". We want to lose weight but we neglect going to the gym. We want to have a deeper relationships but we don't make time for them. Result? Frustration.

Feeling overwhelmed can also be a sign we are off-course. It means we have taken on too much and we probably aren't focusing on what really matters to us. Life is all about choices and we only have 24 hours in a day, so it's up to us to choose how to use those 24 hours.

When I find myself feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, I know it is time to for a "front-end" alignment; time to check and see if my habits, choices, and activities all line up with my goals and values.

2. Keep my actions in sync with my goals 
For example, if we want to lose weight, and then say "I'll start my diet next week" and next week gets pushed into the week after and so on.  If one area is out of balance, our direction will be skewed. Say I want to get my financial house in order, but I continue to spend more than I should on impulsive purchases.  My actions are not in alignment with what I say I want - to get my finances under control. Or maybe I desire a deeper relationship with a loved one, but I work late every night of the week - not congruent.

3. Check in with God 
In the same way, if we want God's best for our lives, it is important to check in with Him on a regular basis. This is why Faith is so important. Faith believes that God is guiding me and that when I spend time with Him, He will show me what's really important, what needs to go, and what changes I need to make. We need to make time for solitude so we can hear that still small voice that is guiding us. Then it's up to me to cooperate and take action.

So, friends, is it time for a "front-end alignment" in your life? Have you veered off course from what truly matters to you? If so, it's not to late to get back on track.

If you enjoyed this post, please click on the +1 icon and leave a comment. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my bi-weekly posts. I'll also send you a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more on staying on this topic and  and until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel