3 Steps to a Better Relationship with God and Others

Do you sometimes feel disconnected from others? Far from God?  If so, you're not the only one. We all struggle with these times of seeming isolation and loneliness, even the married folk among us. It is in these times that it is even more important to turn inward and upwards to God.

Sometimes God allows these dry periods so we can come into a more intimate relationship with Him. We may not know exactly how to go about it so today I'm sharing three steps to developing a closer relationship with God.

Personal Story 
I was at a good friend's wedding having dinner, when a gentleman at our table shared that he had read my book, "The Power of Faith". He said he wished he had the same type of faith to get through the trials in his life and asked me if I thought if it was possible for anyone to develop a strong faith.

"Absolutely", I replied without a moment's hesitation.

In fact, God promises us this: "You will seek and find me when you search for me with all your heart," (Jer. 29:13). Just as healthy earthly parents want a good relationship with their kids, so our heavenly Father wants a close relationship with us. In the same way, if we want an intimate close relationship with another person or with God, we must be intentional about it.

"Well, how do you do that?" my typically shy and reserved friend inquired.

Now I know many of us are stuck in this sensory, material world we live in. If we can't see, feel, hear, touch, or smell it, we don't believe it exists. God does exist only in another reality - the spiritual realm and, as spiritual beings, we have to get comfortable operating in this realm as well. The good news is the same steps we take when we are serious about getting to know someone are the same steps we can use in developing a relationship with God.

1. Have an open heart.
Just as when we begin to fall in love with another person and believe they want a relationship with us, the same applies to God. We have to believe in our heart that it is possible to have a deeper relationship with God, that He loves you deeply, and wants to have an intimate relationship with you. God wants to connect you, just as much as the spiritual part of you wants to connect with Him. Once we let this truth permeate our minds, we open the doors for an amazing adventure.

2. Spend more time together.
Getting to know God is much the same as getting to know another person. When we make it a priority to spend time with someone, we get to know them at a deeper level. We come to know who they are, their likes and dislikes, their values, how they think. We each have our own way of spending time with God. Some of us like to take a walk by ourselves, go for a hike or a bike ride in nature. Others prefer to listen to relaxing music or work in the garden. Still others find God in a communal approach such as a church setting or a meditation group. Whatever puts you in a calm and receptive state of mind is conducive to meeting with God.

3. Learn how God feels and thinks about things.

In the same way we get to know another person by learning how he or she thinks and feels, we can get to know who God is. He is not some illusive being out there yonder. He is up close and personal. He wants to make himself known to us, to speak to us, and guide each of us - personally. 

These days, when we want to find out information about someone, we do a Google search and look them up on the Internet. We can do the same thing with God, believe it or not. We go to a reliable source and seek information. In fact, God has put much information about himself, his thoughts, his desires, and his ways of operating in one collection of books known as the Bible. 

Now I know many people have a problem with the Bible, saying it's old and antiquated but the truth is not much has changed in the way of relationships and human nature since it was written. And for sure, God has not changed. At all. 

Side note. Did you know that the way experts determine the validity of a manuscript is by how many copies there are of it? Did you know that the Bible is one of, if not the most copied manuscript in history?

When we make time to read Scripture, we learn who God is, what He thinks, and what is important to him. We also open up the channel of communication with Him to speak to us. You will be amazed when you start reading the Word, how some passage will jump right out at you and you will know that it is meant for you. Try it and see!

"One more thing," I said to my friend. "Just ask God to reveal Himself to you, and He will." My friend smiled and nodded.

For Reflection

Do you - like Jacob in the Bible - struggle to find God? Do you desire to have a better communion with your Higher Power? Are you willing to put time into your relationship with others? the Divine? 

So there you have it, friends: three steps to developing a deeper relationship with God. Do post a comment, and feel free to share this with a friend or send me a question. If you'd like to join our blog community and receive my weekly newsletter, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive my free guide entitled "How to Develop a Spiritual Practice". And be sure to pop on over to my Pinterest boards and check out all the cool stuff I have collected for you. And do check out my collection of books on faith and spiritual growth here. 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within so you can discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Make Love a Reality this Season

As we enter the last week of Advent, amidst the frenzy of gift-buying and gift-giving, let us focus on the greatest gift of all - the gift of Love. Contrary to Hollywood movies and popular interpretation, love is not a feeling nor is it something that just hits you all of a sudden. Nor is it to be confused with with sexual attraction, chemistry, or lust. 

True enduring Love is an action and a choice we make on a daily basis, sometimes and often despite how we feel.  Now that may come as a shock to some of you but love is not simply or solely a matter of feelings. Many people get divorced because they just don't "feel" it anymore, but that is not what true Love is all about. 

Love is a daily decision and a conscious choice. It is a choice the Lord God made two thousand years ago to send his one and only Son to be born in human form to eventually die a criminal's death on the cross  - for you and for me. This week's post is dedicated to understanding this great gift of Love and what it means to us today. 

Imagine this scene for a moment: a couple and their newborn child huddle together in a stable filled with the sights and sounds of animals, hay, and probably some other not so pleasant things since there was no room for them at the inn. Instead of family and friends, they are encircled by strangers, cows, and pigs, in a land of poverty and persecution. Instead of fancy trees decorated with ribbons and lights, they are surrounded by stars and the light of the Heavenly Host. There are no beautifully wrapped gifts under a tree. No tables laden with food galore. There is no hustle and bustle, just a calm peace and the quiet of this Holy Night. They are surrounded by the warmth of Love and Wonder and Awe.

Despite the harsh conditions, the lack of shelter, and being far from family and loved ones, there is a peace that surpasses all understanding because they are surrounded by the Love and presence of God.

And so are you and I.  No matter who is mad at us, who has wronged us, who has rejected us or who is absent, whether we are married, single, or widowed, God is with us.  His name, Emmanuel means just that: God with us. Jesus understands the loneliness of being single, the sadness of loss, and the grief of the death of a beloved friend or relative. Despite how we may feel, we are never alone, just as Mary and Joseph were not alone. 

Whatever our situation, God is near. The question this season is: will we let the peace and the joy of what God has done for us soften our hardened hearts and heal our broken places? Will we draw closer to the Christ child and receive his precious gift of Love this season? And then, will we show this love to others even though they don't show it back to us? This is the love - the sacrificial love - that God showed us that silent night, not expecting anything in return. 

When the burdens of this life seem overwhelming, when we feel hopeless, alone, and rejected, we can remember Jesus felt this way too.  His answer was to get alone with God. Our answer is the same, not do more to numb ourselves from the pain, but to stop completely, to be still, and to reconnect with the presence of the Holy One. He is our rest and our refreshment. He is our peace and our joy and He wants nothing more from us than to make time to be with Him so that He can wrap us in his outstretched arms of love us and reveal himself to us once again.

For Reflection 
God loves us so very much that He sent his only Son, Jesus, to be born in a manger, to bring us the true gifts this world so desperately needs: hope, peace, joy and love. So I ask you, friend, will you pause to experience the presence of the Holy One this season? Will you make this holiday a little more peaceful and a little less stressful on yourself? It can be done, truly. It is simply a choice. And it starts with remembering that you are surrounded by Love.

If you enjoyed this and would like to join our community to receive my weekly posts enter your email in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Wishing you a most blessed, peaceful and joyful Christmas!

Until next time, remember to keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Part 6: Finding Community as the Answer to Loneliness

How often do you feel lonely? Disconnected? Isolated? Single folks can often feel lonely but you can also feel lonely in a marriage. As human beings, we have a deep rooted need to feel like we belong. This is why many people have dogs and cats, to keep them company and make them feel less alone. The good news is there are some things we can do to feel more connected others and to God. Today is part 6 of our series on developing a spiritual practice and we will talk about the importance of community and connection. 

                                                  

Community as a Spiritual Practice

As we defined it early, a spiritual practice involves regular activities that promote personal connection to the Divine, to God, and to others. The early church provided a means for filling this need for community and friendships as well as support, but the "church" has been tainted by the fallibilities of the humans who run it and people have turned away from God because of the actions of people. We no longer have a safe place to find community and God, so where do we look instead?

Finding Community 

Many people have left the organized church, but still the need for community and a sense of belonging exist. Some of us are lucky enough to find community and connection within our families but not everyone has a big, close family. Divorce separates and disconnects many families as do the wounds it inflicts on the members. The pain of divorce can cause us to isolate and disconnect from family members and others, which leaves us with a big hole in our hearts because we are meant for connection. 

Alternately, we gravitate towards hobbies often looking to join others who share our interests. We participate in activities such as football, soccer, dancing, hiking, biking, running, yoga or meditation classes, to name just a few.

These activities provide not only a sense of community, but also a sense of belonging, and friendships to fill the loneliness that many experience. No one person can fill all our needs, which is why friendships and community are so important. 

Social Media as Community 

In this super frenetic, hyper-activity world of ours, society has turned to technology to fill this need for community. Dating services are wildly popular due to our innate desire for connection. Platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tik Tok all provide instant gratification and a sense of connection.

I am not here to judge the value of these platforms, but I suggest their popularity is an attempt to connect, to communicate, and to be heard, all of which come from community. 

The Most Important Relationship

Relationships are important. We all know that, but the most important relationship we can have is with ourselves and with God, as we are part of God. It is crucial that we know who we are and whose we are. No matter what has happened to you in life, know that you are a beloved child of God. It doesn't matter who has rejected you, who has left you, or who you are with. God is always with you and he promises to never leave you or forsake you so why not make time to get to know God?

For Reflection 

Where do you find community? Connection? What relationships do you look to for support? What groups do you belong to? Have you considered joining a new community and getting to know other people outside your regular sphere? Sometimes it is healthy to break out of our comfort zone and meet new people. 

If you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts PLUS a copy of my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email address in the box provided. And remember, communication and community is a two-way street so do feel free to connect with me and others on Facebook Twitter, and Instagram @ArielPaz08. 

In the meantime, check out my other offerings on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apple. Pop on over to Pinterest and enjoy the collection I have curated for you. And I just recently started posting on Instagram so follow me there too!
Thanks for reading, and stay tuned as we learn more on how to ignite the power within so you can take back your life and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

The Cure for Loneliness

Many people in this world are lonely. Perhaps like me, you are divorced and an empty nester. Or maybe you are widowed or never married. Friends and family are either too busy with their lives, married and too busy, and really good friends are hard to come by. Today I'm sharing how I combat loneliness and I hope it will help and encourage you too.

I have found that developing a relationship with God is the most comforting thing in the world. God, and remember that is just a label, is that unseen energy or force that makes the world turn. The good news is God is ALWAYS INTERESTED  in us! His line is never busy and he always keeps his word.

Would you like to learn how to hear from God better? Now I don't mean in an audible way, of course. God communicates with each of us differently. He already knows your love language. First let's talk about why is it so important to hear from our spiritual Father.

A few good reasons are:
1) so we can  make better decisions
2) so we can move forward in life
3) so we can live the abundant life
4) so we can learn how to overcome the difficulties of life
5) so we can have more peace even when everything around us is in chaos
6) so we can have more joy even during the tough times

First let me ask you a question.

Do you always need someone or something to keep you company? The TV? The computer? Your cell phone? The dog or cat?

Realize you are never really alone. 

Although we may feel physically and emotionally alone, it is important to realize this fact. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. God is always there, but let's just say he is behind the scenes, orchestrating circumstances for his purposes and for your growth. He is waiting for you to make time for him. "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you" (James 4:8).

Calm the mind and the body. 
Most of the time we use distractions, food, alcohol, technology, to calm us down which can lead to unhealthy consequences. In this fast-paced world we live in, it takes effort and focus to relax the mind and the body. The first step in hearing from God is to relax the body. Sometimes I go for a walk, a hike, or ride my bike. No Ipod, music, or cell phone. I may do some yoga poses to move out the stress and negative energy stored in my body.

Other times I simply need to slow down and clear my mind. I usually on the floor in a cross-legged position and focus on my breathing and my belly. When we are stressed our breathing is shallow and high in the chest. As we calm ourselves, our breath gets deeper and moves into the belly. I'm trying to develop a regular meditation practice to rest my ever-running brain.

Relaxing the body helps to relax the mind. As the body relaxes, slowly the clutter in the mind dissipates. Then we are prepared to hear from God. "Your servant is listening." I say out loud to get the attention of whatever angelic forces may be hovering.

Cultivate Solitude. 
Alone time is truly a gift. When we realize we are not alone, cultivating solitude will become easier to do. We will learn to block out the negative voices that try to make us feel bad about ourselves. Instead, we will focus on relaxing our body and our mind and being open and receptive to what God might be saying to us.

If I want to hear from my significant other or my children, I need to spend time with them. If I want to know what they think, how they feel, and what's important to them I need to spend quality time alone with them. The same goes with God. He is always near. It is we who distance.

Practice passage meditation. 
God does speak to his children and he does it in a variety of creative ways. One of the best ways to hear from God is to read a sacred text. I prefer the Bible because God is required to honor his word, not the word of anybody else. It is amazing how verses will jump off the page at me or start appearing from multiple sources in a brief period of time. They can be guidance, encouragement, or answers and it is up to me to delve into them more. I just had an experience with a verse, 1 Cor. 10:13. It just started popping up everywhere so I knew it was the Holy Spirit trying to pass me a message. In fact, it was an answer to a question I had been asking God. Even though I may have read this passage many many times, I had a new revelation which was exactly the answer to the question I asked. Amazes me!

Life is all about choices. If we want to feel less lonely and more connected, especially as we get older, it is important to develop an intimate relationship with God.  Just like any other relationship, it will take some time so be patient. When you start to connect, it will enrich your life and build your  faith and trust that you are indeed - never alone!

I promise you that nothing on earth can compare to hearing directly from the Almighty Creator of the Universe. It is an awesome thrill when God speaks and you hear it!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to become part of our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts plus a copy of my free eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". Do send feedback after you've read it.

For more positive and practical wisdom stay tuned. Visit me on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Feel free to use and share my content, but please acknowledge me as the source. Thank you!

How to Love Others Better

Most of us consider ourselves to be loving people. Yet we often feel unloved and lonely. It doesn't seem to matter whether we are single or married. We look for love in all the wrong places usually in another person. We think - mistakenly - another person can fill that hole in our hearts. We rush to get married and soon after the honeymoon phase, reality kicks in. Since February is the month of love, today I'll be sharing on the key to feeling truly loved because when we feel truly loved, we are free to give that love away to others and the world desperately needs more love.

A lot of the problem starts with our limited and romanticized understanding of love. 
What is love, exactly? First off, let's realize what love is NOT. Love is not a feeling.  All that mushy gooey stuff you see in the movies and on television is either superficial romanticism, sex, or lust. It is not the stuff long-lasting relationships are made of.

Second, love is an action and a choice.
We often are more concerned about "getting" rather than "giving" and this is the complete opposite of how love works. Love means going out of yourself  and leaving the "What about me" mentality behind, to do something good for the benefit of another, even when you don't feel like it or it's inconvenient.

We need to understand where and from whom we learned to love. 
Learning to love is a life-long process. Our parents are the first examples of love  We can learn a lot from them - what to do and what not to do. We learn from our dating experiences - what worked and what didn't. We learn from observing "happily married couples". Whenever I see a couple married for years, I always ask them what is their secret. I think the best way to learn about love is from God himself.

The best example of love is God. 
We've all heard the phrase "God is love", but what does that really mean? To me, God is love means if we want to know how to love, we should look at God and who is the clearest manifestation of God? His Son, Jesus, of course.

God sent Jesus to earth to show us His great love for us and also to show us how to love others: by accepting those different from us, by not judging others, by showing compassion, and by sacrifice.

"God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son so that whosoever shall believe in him shall not perish." (John 3:16). Notice the verb "gave". God took action to show us his love.

Jesus modeled love. He took time to heal people, to bring people back to life, to provide food for the hungry. These are all ACTIONS that show love. Most importantly he gave his LIFE to show us how much he loves us.

If you look at the list below, you will see that Jesus modeled all of them.

So, if you'd like to feel more loved, why not try being more loving? We get what we give. Here are some questions to reflect on to get you started:

1) How do I show love?
2) From whom did I learn to love?
3) How can I love better?
4) Who can I show love to today?

For practical suggestions, check out 1 Corinthians 13 which spells out several facets of being a truly loving person and Ephesians 5 which talks about how to love others.

I hope this post has given you a different perspective on love. If you enjoyed it and would like to become part of our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts and a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Until next time, practice loving more, for whatever you give out to others will return to you manyfold.

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

All rights reserved. If you wish to use this material, contact me at arielpaz08@gmial.com. 

7 Ways to Feel Less Lonely

Are you feeling lonely today? Many, including myself, are single, divorced, or widowed and looking for someone or something to fill that void in their spirit. Hollywood would have us to believe the romantic Tom Cruise line "You complete me."

The truth is no human being can complete us. Relationships can only do so much: a spouse, a child, a parent - these are are practice grounds where we learn to love but they are imperfect at best. People will always let us down. They were never meant to be a substitute for a relationship with God. When I was married,  I remember feeling ever so lonely  because there was no connection, no intimacy, and no relationship with God. Perhaps you feel this way today.

Only God can fill the hole in our hearts because he is the one who put it there. We were made to desire a relationship with God, but so many of us turn away seeking solace in people and things that will never satisfy. Today's post is about developing a connection to God, your higher power, or whatever name you feel comfortable with so that you will feel less lonely and more connected to the Creator of the Universe.

Do you "believe" in God, but have no idea how to connect with him?
Do you often crave the presence of another human being?
Do you feel incomplete when you're not in a relationship?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, today's post will help you feel the presence of God and fill that void inside you. God does not want you feeling lonely. That's why he promised "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."

It is possible to have relationship with God, in some of the very same ways we have a relationship with another human being. The difference is God is so much more reliable, faithful, trustworthy and loves us more than any human being ever could. So today we'll talk about 7 ways to relieve the feeling of loneliness by learning to enjoy the presence of God.

1. Practice Gratitude
    Do you focus more on what's lacking in your life or what's present? Just like Eve who had everything she needed in the Garden of Eden, she focused on the one thing that she couldn't have. It's human nature. But this thinking keeps us miserable. When we pay more attention to the blessings we all have, we will feel more joyful and less depressed.

2. Practice Joy
    How does one practice joy?  I have other posts on that topic so you can do a search. Joy is an inner delight. It comes from knowing God loves and cares for you and that everything that happens to you is under his watchful eye. It is a knowing that no matter how tough things might seem, they will work out for your good. Joy is a mindset that brings us into the presence of God.

3. Journal
    Now I don't know exactly how this one works, but I do know it works. When we get quiet, and put our thoughts down on paper, God can speak to us. Journaling helps us to get clear on our thoughts and feelings. It is that still small voice that reveals truth and gives answers. We gain clarity about problems we are facing. I have been journalling for over 20 years and I have a stack of journals I'm debating what to do with.

4. Spend quiet time alone
    This is key. You know how hard it is to hear your significant other when you're in a noisy restaurant? Well, God speaks to us in an inaudible whisper. We can't hear his voice if we have the radio or television on all the time. We need to turn all the electronics off and just be. God will show up, promise.

5. Read a sacred text
   This is a discipline that pays off dearly. Just this week, I almost started my day without going to my Bible reading. Boy was I glad I did. The words jumped off the page at me. This is God's Spirit speaking to us. It's like He is saying "This is for YOU!" But we won't be able to hear from God, if we don't tune into his word.

6. Talk to God
    Think of your best friend. How often do you talk to him or her? Now how would you like to have that kind of relationship with God? You can. But unlike your friend, God is never too busy or to preoccupied to listen to us. I talk to God throughout the day most days. Just like any relationship it takes time to develop. Another way we talk to God is through prayer. The Bible says "Pray unceasingly. I think what that means is what I just shared - talk to God during your day.

7. Meditate
    Meditation is a hot topic these days. However, there is more to meditation than sitting still, closing our eyes, and watching our thoughts float  by. Christian meditation refers to meditating on the Word of God. Take a passage or a phrase of Scripture and think about it, reflect on its meaning. Ask how it applies to you. This is how we absorb the truths that will help us to overcome the negative chatter that pervades our thinking.

When you start to practice these 7 steps, I promise you, you will feel less lonely and more connected. You will start seeing amazing things and you will know God is with you and cares for you. It could be an unxpected gift in the mail. A special delivery. A license plate. You never know where God is going to show up. But He promises that when we seek him, we will find him.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more practical and spiritual wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz


   

God is in the Small Things

Ever get a craving for something? Like cookies or guacamole? Cherry pie? Chocolate?

Yesterday for example, I was at my favorite grocery store, Wegman's, doing some shopping. They were sampling guacamole. Now, I love fresh guacamole, but it's hard to eat just a little so I decided to pass on the temptation.

Later that evening, a friend and I were having dinner at a local Mexican eatery and  I noticed my friend hadn't touched the guacamole.

'Are you going to eat that?' I asked as I wrapped up my doggie bag, looking forward to a nice lunch the next day.

'Can't stand the stuff,' my friend replied.

Brazen as always, I asked it I could have it. Ah, the little things in life.

Another time, I was craving chocolate chip cookies. Again, I didn't want to buy an entire package. The next morning as I am greeting at church, a fellow greeter hands me a nicely wrapped package and says, "Here, I made these last night and thought you might enjoy a few." Guess what they were? You got it - chocolate chip cookies.

Now these are just two little examples of how God provides for us. I share these stories to let you know God wants to give us the desires of our hearts - even the littlest ones. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want in life. God is more than willing to provide out of His abundance. He loves us so much and cares about every detail in our lives: not just parking spaces, cookies, and guacamole. And no, he is not too busy for you. Trust me.

When I experience the touch of God's love, I am just speechless. To think that the Maker of the Universe cares for me so much fills my heart with joy. May you experience the love of Christ and enjoy this video. Until next time, keep looking up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENSm29eIBJw

Ariel Paz