How to Love Others Better

Most of us consider ourselves to be loving people. Yet we often feel unloved and lonely. It doesn't seem to matter whether we are single or married. We look for love in all the wrong places usually in another person. We think - mistakenly - another person can fill that hole in our hearts. We rush to get married and soon after the honeymoon phase, reality kicks in. Since February is the month of love, today I'll be sharing on the key to feeling truly loved because when we feel truly loved, we are free to give that love away to others and the world desperately needs more love.

A lot of the problem starts with our limited and romanticized understanding of love. 
What is love, exactly? First off, let's realize what love is NOT. Love is not a feeling.  All that mushy gooey stuff you see in the movies and on television is either superficial romanticism, sex, or lust. It is not the stuff long-lasting relationships are made of.

Second, love is an action and a choice.
We often are more concerned about "getting" rather than "giving" and this is the complete opposite of how love works. Love means going out of yourself  and leaving the "What about me" mentality behind, to do something good for the benefit of another, even when you don't feel like it or it's inconvenient.

We need to understand where and from whom we learned to love. 
Learning to love is a life-long process. Our parents are the first examples of love  We can learn a lot from them - what to do and what not to do. We learn from our dating experiences - what worked and what didn't. We learn from observing "happily married couples". Whenever I see a couple married for years, I always ask them what is their secret. I think the best way to learn about love is from God himself.

The best example of love is God. 
We've all heard the phrase "God is love", but what does that really mean? To me, God is love means if we want to know how to love, we should look at God and who is the clearest manifestation of God? His Son, Jesus, of course.

God sent Jesus to earth to show us His great love for us and also to show us how to love others: by accepting those different from us, by not judging others, by showing compassion, and by sacrifice.

"God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son so that whosoever shall believe in him shall not perish." (John 3:16). Notice the verb "gave". God took action to show us his love.

Jesus modeled love. He took time to heal people, to bring people back to life, to provide food for the hungry. These are all ACTIONS that show love. Most importantly he gave his LIFE to show us how much he loves us.

If you look at the list below, you will see that Jesus modeled all of them.

So, if you'd like to feel more loved, why not try being more loving? We get what we give. Here are some questions to reflect on to get you started:

1) How do I show love?
2) From whom did I learn to love?
3) How can I love better?
4) Who can I show love to today?

For practical suggestions, check out 1 Corinthians 13 which spells out several facets of being a truly loving person and Ephesians 5 which talks about how to love others.

I hope this post has given you a different perspective on love. If you enjoyed it and would like to become part of our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts and a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Until next time, practice loving more, for whatever you give out to others will return to you manyfold.

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

All rights reserved. If you wish to use this material, contact me at arielpaz08@gmial.com.