Are You Speaking Your Mate's Love Language?

Who doesn't want to improve their close relationships? Healthy relationships thrive when there is good communication and that includes communicating love. What ways do you show love? More importantly, does your beloved actually feel loved? Are you speaking his or her love language?

In his book, "The Five Love Languages", Gary Chapman talks about the ways different people give and receive love. One way is through physical touch. This may be obvious to many, but others of us might not realize how important physical touch is. Perhaps we were not raised in a family where there was a lot of physical expression. Studies have shown that baby monkeys who are separated from their mothers at birth suffer severe problems. We all need physical touch in good amounts on a regular basis.

It could be as simple as putting a hand on someone's hand when they are distressed, or an arm around their shoulders when they are crying, or even a pat on the back to say "Well done". If a woman wants to get a man's attention when she's talking to him, she could try lightly touching his arm and then speaking. A man can console an emotional woman by simply taking her two hands in his and holding them. These are only a few examples of physical touch to express caring.

Hugging is another example. Just be sure it is done appropriately when hugging a woman - no close chest hugs- and be sure there is not a jealous husband or boyfriend around. Hugging is a universal act between the sexes and it is a simple but powerful way to communicate fondness. As a long time single, I remember getting an unexpected huge hug and a lift from a guy when I told him it was my birthday. It gave us both joy and made my day! Who can you hug today?

As a single who lives alone, I've realized how much I miss hugging and physical connection with my out of town family members.  Today, for example, I was at my doctor's office and I shared a quick synopsis of my personal story. When the visit was over, she gave me a hug. That simple act spoke mountains to me about her level of caring as a doctor, a woman, and a human being. I think by sharing my story, we connected in a deeper way.

If you have people and family around you and get hugged a lot, please don't take it for granted. Be thankful. Hug someone today who may not be as fortunate as you. Hugs are free but they can do a world of good to a lonely or a single person. We never know what other people are going through and not everyone has a large support network and singles, especially, need to feel loved.

Stay tuned for more on the five love languages. It will be transformative to your relationships.  In the meantime, experiment with physical touch and see how people respond. Share the love!

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Until next time, give someone a hug and remember,

Keep looking up!

 Ariel Paz

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