How to Be Free From Your To Do List

Are you a list maker? Do you pride yourself on how many items you can check off on a daily basis? Do you often feel like you'll never get caught up or get it all done? I am and I do and this week I had a revelation that set me free from my to do list once and for all and I want to share it with you so we can live with more joy and less stress.

First, let's agree there is nothing inherently bad about to do lists. In fact, they can be quite helpful in keeping us focused on the many tasks we have on our plates. They can help us remember things and assist in prioritizing what needs to get done. However, to do lists can also put us in a form of mental bondage and cause us to be more stressed than we need be.

The pressure of looking at so many to dos and the constant crossing off and adding more is unhealthy. I know because I have been in bondage to my to do list since I was first married, then divorced and a single mom, and now flying solo. As a single parent raising two sons, it was imperative I be organized and efficient and my to do list helped me survive those years but now things are different. This week, I had a revelation. Now this might be obvious to some of you, but to me it was liberating.

No matter what our circumstances are in life, we can change the way we think about our to do lists. Instead of them hanging over our heads like a dark cloud, we can do these three things:

1. Let go of the guilt and pressure.
"Being caught up" is a harsh task master who fills us with guilt and condemnation. This inner voice keeps us on the to do treadmill. We are human "beings", not human "doings". We don't have to feel like we need to be "caught up" because the reality is, we never will be.

What we need is a mindset change. A reframing if you will.  Let go of the pressure and stop listening to that voice that clamors "You need to do this, this, and this today. You need to take control." Some things are not our responsibility and out of our control. Don't take on other people's stuff. We can take the pressure off by doing the most important things first thing in the day, and then whatever else gets done is icing on the cake! It's called "being in the flow". 

Of course, we do need to listen to the voice that says "You need to get organized" "you need to exercise" "you need to get your finances in order". We have to discern which is the voice of false guilt and which is the voice of conviction, but that is a topic for another day. 

2. Realize there will always be things to do.
The truth is there will always be something to do until the day we die because life keeps moving. Things change. The house needs repair. The car needs attention. We want to lose weight. As I tell my mom, "That's life". The sooner we realize that this is the reality of life, the better we will be able to cope with daily challenges. If we think life should be a smooth ride all the time we will be in for a rude awakening when something unexpected happens. 

Now we do have to keep up with our responsibilities but I'm talking about the frame of mind we have while taking care of those responsibilities. If we want to live less stressed and more at peace, we can change the way we think about our to do's.

3. Let go of perfectionism. 
We don't have to have everything taken care of and neatly under control. I've learned that much of the pressure I put on myself comes from a place of perfectionism which stems back to my upbringing and being a first-born child in an alcoholic home. First borns are typically the more responsible child and take on way too much. Everything does not have to be done today nor does it have to be done at a frenetic pace. Nor does it have to be perfect. As a counselor once told me, you don't always have to bring your "A" game. And neither do you!

I feel relieved just writing this post today. I believe I have turned a corner and hope this post will help you turn that corner as well. We can be productive responsible adults and still enjoy each day with peace and harmony.

I hope this post has encouraged you and if you'd like to receive my weekly posts enter your email in the box provided. You'll always receive a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" for yourself or to pass on to a friend. Do pop on over to Pinterest and check out my pins on a variety of subjects including delicious recipes, fitness and exercise, faith, mindfulness, relationships and much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for next month's topic which is learning to surrender more and control less. Ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz