Relationships are important, we can all agree on that. The goal of any relationship is for each party to grow and to become emotionally healthier, but as my oldest son says, it takes two to tango. Each party must be willing to change. Often ego holds us back because no one wants to admit they need to change.
After many years of trying to making impossible relationships work, I have learned one thing. Peace and self-respect are more important than any relationship. For years, I made relationships top priority. I had it backwards! I was always putting "the relationship" before my mental, physical, and emotional well-being. I tolerated poor behavior from my then-husband, then from the immature men I dated and from insecure girlfriends. I tolerated verbal abuse from my mother and my sister as well because, after all, that is what I was used to.
And what happened? I suffered from complex migraine for years, that's what! I went from neurologist to neurologist and doctor to doctor trying to find a cure. Why? Because I was constantly ruminating on the problems in my relationships. I was always taking the blame and putting emotional stress on my brain. I always thought I was the problem, but in reality, it takes two to tango and two to fix any relationship. Each person must be willing to own up to their part and be willing to change for the sake of the relationship.
Then as I was soaking in a hot bath one evening, pondering over the latest hurtful relationship dilemma, it dawned on me. I was allowing poor behavior!!!! Scripture puts it like this: "What you allow on earth, will be loosed in heaven. What you bind on earth, shall be bound in heaven." (Matt 16:19)
I think the crux of the problem was that I did not respect myself enough to expect to be treated right! I think most people know when they are treating people badly and they continue to do it as long as you allow them to. They make excuses and put the blame on you, instead of taking personal responsibility for their impact on you. I was allowing it, and paying a very high price. My brain and my body were screaming at me, telling me something was drastically wrong but I wasn't listening.
Is your body trying to tell you something? Pain of any kind is a message. Are you in a relationship that is stealing your peace and joy? Could it be that you are allowing poor treatment like I did? Today is the day to take a stand for yourself. Stop allowing other people, no matter how they are related, to treat you like c--p. You deserve better! Confront them and ask for change if they care about you, they will make the change. If they don't, it's time to ask yourself the hard question of "Do I really want to be in this relationship anyway?"
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Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom on spirituality, faith, relationships, and personal growth. Today is the day to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!
Until next time, keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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