What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do - 8 Keys to Making Wise Decisions

Ever feel like you don't know what to do next? Either you're overwhelmed with too much to do or you're lost with not enough. Or perhaps you don't know what direction to go in. Sometimes life gets like this. We all face times of overwhelm and uncertainty. Where should we focus our time? What is the most important priority? I have an important decision to make soon so today I'm going to share with you the process I use to make these decisions so you can move forward in your life with confidence and joy, instead of regret and disappointment in your decision-making.

1. Don't make the decision in the heat of the moment.
It seems things can snowball out of control almost instantly. I am an emotional person, so I have to be extra careful not to let my emotions take control. I have learned it's okay to feel the impact and express my feelings, however I give myself time to settle down and let the rational part of my brain kick back in so I can weigh all the factors. Did you know when emotions take over, the logic part of the brain is overruled? Here's an interesting article on this phenomenon.

2. Use your head and your heart.
It is important to be guided by both our feelings and reality i.e. logic in equal balance. Sometimes people let their emotions rule without thought to reality or the consequences.. Maybe this is why it is good to have both a male and female opinion on an issue. Different perspectives help determine the best choice.

Wise decisions are also those that are in accord with our values. I can't stress this enough. Our decisions should feel comfortable to us. If we are not at peace with a decision, it is not the right one or it is not time to make it.

In many situations, there is no right or wrong answer. The right decision is ultimately what is BEST for us in the long run, not what someone else wants or thinks. We can listen to other people's opinion, but ultimately, we are the ones who will live with the consequences - good or bad. When our choices are in sync with our beliefs and values, we can then enjoy a life of wholeness and harmony.

3. Don't succumb to guilt.
Guilt is an insidious enermy of peace. It's that voice in your head that says "You should do this". "You should do it now." Should is a word that implies obligation and pressure. Wise decisions are not made under pressure. Sometimes it takes me a while to realize I am feeling pressured and then I take action to alleviate it. Pressure is a warning sign that the timing is not right. Recent example, I was helping my Mom make a decision over whether to sign a lease on a new place before her house was sold. I realized I was feeling pressure and so was she so we decided not to sign. We were both at peace after we made this decision.

4. Make time to be still.
With all the frenetic activity of life, it's important to make time to get alone with yourself and God to listen to that still small voice within. Tune out what everyone else thinks or says. Ask God for wisdom and direction. All wisdom comes from God anyway so wouldn't it be a good idea to check in with him before making decisions? I think so. When we get quiet, we let the thoughts and emotions slow down in our minds so when the waters settle we can clearly see what truly matters to us.

5. Do What's Best for You.
Many times women have a tendency to overextend themselves. Often we have learned to be care-takers of others, but not of ourselves. Is this choice going to stress me out? Is it putting too much on my plate? Yes, I know we can do all things thru Christ, but wisdom comes in knowing our limits. We cannot do it all and things usually take more time and energy than we anticipate. When in doubt, the answer is "No".

6. Wait for peace.
Peace is the most critical factor in making a decision. Now, we have to be careful about this peace thing. The peace I am talking about is inner peace. It doesn't mean everything in the situation is going smoothly, but it does mean we have an inner peace about moving forward in a certain direction even if all the pieces are not in place. When we move ahead without peace, the inner struggle will steal our energy and slow us down. When we wait for peace, we will feel a positive energy that propels us forward into our goals and dreams.

7. Evaluate the joy factor.
This is the part we sometimes miss. I ask myself this question: "Will this decision bring me joy?" If the answer is no, well there you go. God wants us to be joyful and he wants us to do things with a whole-heart. If we don't have joy, something is amiss. There are many worthy endeavors in this world of opportunities, but the key is which ones are right for you. Joy is a key indicator to pay attention to.

8. Make the decision in a timely manner.
Unmade decisions cause stress because they weigh on us. They keep our minds divided and steal our peace. Set a reasonable amount of time for making a decision and then make it. Unmade decisions can make us lose sleep and productivity. When we make decisions in a timely manner we take control of the situation, rather than allowing it to take control of us. We don't have to have all the facts but we do need to consider the most important ones.

I had a freind who agonized over making decisions. She was trying to decide whether to move closer to her work and I encouraged her to evaluate all the factors. After she moved, she says "I've realized I don't like this area." Now, when you are going to move someplace, evaluating the area is, in my humble opinion, the first thing to consider. This is an example of overlooking the most important factors in making a decision.

So, these are 8 ideas I have learned over the years on how to remove the stress from decision-making. What tips do you use? Please leave a comment and share with us. If you'd like to receive my bi-weekly email posts and a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email in the box provided.

Until next time, share this with a friend and as always - keep looking up!

Ariel Paz