How to Make Wise Decisions

Every day we have hundreds of decisions to make. Most of them are small, like what to have for dinner or what color shoes to wear to work. However some decisions are major such as a career decision,  a home purchase, or a relationship decision. These are times we need wisdom, knowledge, and God's guidance.

In some situations such as business decisions, good decision-making is a learned mental skill. Professional football coaches get really good at making decisions in the heat of the moment with limited information. They are mentally trained at making multiple quick decisions. They evaluate the facts, combine it with their experience and execute a decision. Done.

Making Personal Decisions 

These are often more difficult to make because the heart and the mind are both involved. We are torn between conflicting values and it takes quiet time alone with God to get clear on what is most important to us. We want to do the right thing but often we are unclear as to what that is. This is where God and Scripture come in.

Use the Word of God
When I am unsure of a decision, I go straight to the word of God.  It helps me to step outside my emotions and take an objective look at the situation. As a long-time student of the Bible, I am familiar with the principles and ideas in most of the books. A good place to start is the book of Proverbs. There is much wisdom in this book regarding the major facets of life including relationships, finances, child-rearing, lending, and communication to name a few. Write down all the verses pertaining to the issue you are facing, pray about it, and you will get clarity on what to do.

Reverse Your Process 
Many people, however, have this process reversed.  Instead of asking and seeking God's will regarding their decision first, they often make the decision and then, when things don't work out, they talk to God about it. This is not the way it works, folks. God wants the best path for us, but we must make the diligent effort to determine what that is, trusting that God ultimately knows better than we do. He sees the future and we only see with limited vision, often colored by rose-colored glasses or past-experiences. 

God wants the Best for You. 

Don't be afraid to seek his advice and guidance while you are talking to your friends. God is faithful to answer our prayers and guide us in the right path. Let peace be the umpire of your decisions. Where there is no peace, there is no green light. Don't settle for less than God's best. Ask yourself "Is this the best thing for me?" and then listen to that still small voice. 

For Reflection
What decision is keeping you up at nights? God wants us to make good decisions, not ones we will regret. Did you know God promises to guide and direct our steps? All we have to do is ASK. "If anyone of you lacks wisdom, ask God, for he gives it freely and without reproach." (James 1:5). We are not alone in our decision-making. We have a supernatural force that wants to help us make good decisions. 

If this post has encouraged you, do leave a comment and share this post with your friends. Many people would love to know how to make better decisions. My book, "Take Back Your Life: 5 Keys to reclaiming your Personal Power." , will give you practical advice on how to make decisions about your daily life so you can enjoy more peace, less stress, and more joy. 

If you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter you email address in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more on igniting the power within and until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

5 Steps to Making Decisions You'll Be Happy With

Decisions, decisions. Every day we are faced with tons of decisions. Some are simple such as what to have for breakfast and others are complex like whether to stay or leave a relationship or a job. When we are unsure of what the "right" choice is we can feel stressed and pressured. When we have too many decisions to make we can also feel stressed and pressured. The key is to make good decisions in a timely manner. Since I am facing a big decision myself right now, I thought it would be a good time to revisit what to do when you don't know what to do.

The decisions we make determine our destiny and it can be stressful when we are  unsure of how to proceed. One reason we put off making a decision is because we feel we don't have enough information at hand. Rather than make the decision in the heat of the moment, it is better to put the decision on hold and give yourself more time to think about it. Salespeople love to try to make you make snap decisions, but snap decisions can be costly.

Delaying making a decision too long can be costly as well. How many times have I missed out on concert tickets due to waiting too long? Or wasted too much time in the wrong relationship? The question becomes when to wait and when to act. Today I'll share some tips on figuring out when it's time to make a decision and what to do in the meantime.

1. Resist the urge to make it happen NOW. 
Waiting is tough for most of us.  We like things to happen on our time-table. We want it NOW. Many times we take things into our own hands and try to make it happen which often leads to frustration and burnout. A recent visit to my mom's to help her sell her house was just such a scenario. I was in a dither to get the whole house cleaned up and organized and I wound up exhausted because there was too much to do in a short period of time. When I finally realized the house would sell in "God's timing" not mine, I felt so much more at peace.

2. Consider all the factors. 
Big decisions are more complex and require more in-depth analysis. I had a single friend once who has a hard time making decisions. She wanted to move closer to work. I gave her the same advice - consider all the factors. She talked to me about the utility  bills, the gasoline, the commute. It sounded like she was covering all her bases. After she moved in to her new apartment, she calls me.
"I'm not happy here."
"Why not?" I asked thinking she had done due diligence in her research .
"I don't like the location."
Now isn't location like the number one thing to consider when you're thinking about moving? Don't overlook the obvious.

3. Get comfortable with uncertainty. 
The answers don't always come immediately. Sometimes weeks, months, or even years go by. Yet, we must learn to deal with the feeling of not knowing. It is better to wait for clarity than to make a decision while we're still unclear. This is the tough part for me. I don't like feeling the weight of a decision hanging over me. I like to make the decision and move on but sometimes it takes me a while to get clear. Often, past negative experiences impact how we feel about a current situation. We need to learn the lessons from the past while not allowing fear to make our decisions for us today so we can evaluate a situation objectively.

4. Practice the pause. 
The practice of the pause seems to have been lost in the hustle and bustle of today's fast-paced culture. When we learn to pause, we give ourselves time to reflect. We give God a chance to work,to intervene, to speak. Good decisions are not made in a hurry. Give yourself the time you need to feel at peace. If you don't have enough information, ask questions and wait until you do.

5. Wait for the strong "Yes".
Rest assured the answer will come. One day you will have an "Aha!" moment and the answer will become clear. This is why meditation and solitude are so important. We need to tune out all the distractions of the world so we can hear that still small voice within. When you hear that strong "Yes!" you will know exactly what to do and when to do it. Don't be like Sarah and Abraham who got tired of waiting on God to give them a child, and decided to take things into their own hands by having hubby sleep with the maid servant.

What decision are you unclear about? If there is doubt in your mind, apply some of these tips. Take time to pause. Give it to God and wait for an answer. It may be a phone call, a knock on the door, or simply that still small voice inside that speaks to each of us when we quiet ourselves enough to listen.

If you enjoyed this post, please click the +1 icon and if you'd like to join our community, enter your email in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts and also a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Until next time, stay tuned for more insights on finding healing, wholeness, and harmony so you can discover YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do - 8 Keys to Making Wise Decisions

Ever feel like you don't know what to do next? Either you're overwhelmed with too much to do or you're lost with not enough. Or perhaps you don't know what direction to go in. Sometimes life gets like this. We all face times of overwhelm and uncertainty. Where should we focus our time? What is the most important priority? I have an important decision to make soon so today I'm going to share with you the process I use to make these decisions so you can move forward in your life with confidence and joy, instead of regret and disappointment in your decision-making.

1. Don't make the decision in the heat of the moment.
It seems things can snowball out of control almost instantly. I am an emotional person, so I have to be extra careful not to let my emotions take control. I have learned it's okay to feel the impact and express my feelings, however I give myself time to settle down and let the rational part of my brain kick back in so I can weigh all the factors. Did you know when emotions take over, the logic part of the brain is overruled? Here's an interesting article on this phenomenon.

2. Use your head and your heart.
It is important to be guided by both our feelings and reality i.e. logic in equal balance. Sometimes people let their emotions rule without thought to reality or the consequences.. Maybe this is why it is good to have both a male and female opinion on an issue. Different perspectives help determine the best choice.

Wise decisions are also those that are in accord with our values. I can't stress this enough. Our decisions should feel comfortable to us. If we are not at peace with a decision, it is not the right one or it is not time to make it.

In many situations, there is no right or wrong answer. The right decision is ultimately what is BEST for us in the long run, not what someone else wants or thinks. We can listen to other people's opinion, but ultimately, we are the ones who will live with the consequences - good or bad. When our choices are in sync with our beliefs and values, we can then enjoy a life of wholeness and harmony.

3. Don't succumb to guilt.
Guilt is an insidious enermy of peace. It's that voice in your head that says "You should do this". "You should do it now." Should is a word that implies obligation and pressure. Wise decisions are not made under pressure. Sometimes it takes me a while to realize I am feeling pressured and then I take action to alleviate it. Pressure is a warning sign that the timing is not right. Recent example, I was helping my Mom make a decision over whether to sign a lease on a new place before her house was sold. I realized I was feeling pressure and so was she so we decided not to sign. We were both at peace after we made this decision.

4. Make time to be still.
With all the frenetic activity of life, it's important to make time to get alone with yourself and God to listen to that still small voice within. Tune out what everyone else thinks or says. Ask God for wisdom and direction. All wisdom comes from God anyway so wouldn't it be a good idea to check in with him before making decisions? I think so. When we get quiet, we let the thoughts and emotions slow down in our minds so when the waters settle we can clearly see what truly matters to us.

5. Do What's Best for You.
Many times women have a tendency to overextend themselves. Often we have learned to be care-takers of others, but not of ourselves. Is this choice going to stress me out? Is it putting too much on my plate? Yes, I know we can do all things thru Christ, but wisdom comes in knowing our limits. We cannot do it all and things usually take more time and energy than we anticipate. When in doubt, the answer is "No".

6. Wait for peace.
Peace is the most critical factor in making a decision. Now, we have to be careful about this peace thing. The peace I am talking about is inner peace. It doesn't mean everything in the situation is going smoothly, but it does mean we have an inner peace about moving forward in a certain direction even if all the pieces are not in place. When we move ahead without peace, the inner struggle will steal our energy and slow us down. When we wait for peace, we will feel a positive energy that propels us forward into our goals and dreams.

7. Evaluate the joy factor.
This is the part we sometimes miss. I ask myself this question: "Will this decision bring me joy?" If the answer is no, well there you go. God wants us to be joyful and he wants us to do things with a whole-heart. If we don't have joy, something is amiss. There are many worthy endeavors in this world of opportunities, but the key is which ones are right for you. Joy is a key indicator to pay attention to.

8. Make the decision in a timely manner.
Unmade decisions cause stress because they weigh on us. They keep our minds divided and steal our peace. Set a reasonable amount of time for making a decision and then make it. Unmade decisions can make us lose sleep and productivity. When we make decisions in a timely manner we take control of the situation, rather than allowing it to take control of us. We don't have to have all the facts but we do need to consider the most important ones.

I had a freind who agonized over making decisions. She was trying to decide whether to move closer to her work and I encouraged her to evaluate all the factors. After she moved, she says "I've realized I don't like this area." Now, when you are going to move someplace, evaluating the area is, in my humble opinion, the first thing to consider. This is an example of overlooking the most important factors in making a decision.

So, these are 8 ideas I have learned over the years on how to remove the stress from decision-making. What tips do you use? Please leave a comment and share with us. If you'd like to receive my bi-weekly email posts and a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email in the box provided.

Until next time, share this with a friend and as always - keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

7 Keys to Making Decisions You Can Trust

Are you always looking to someone or something outside of yourself to give you answers? Do you doubt your decisions or prefer someone else make them for you? Do you waffle a lot when making even the smallest decisions? If this is you, perhaps it is time to reclaim your personal power so today we will talk about gaining confidence in ourselves.

No doubt about it, decision-making can be tough, especially when it comes to important decisions. If we don't trust ourselves, decision-making is even more stressful. When we lose trust in ourselves, we lose our personal power.

How do we lose trust in ourselves?
One way we lose trust in ourselves is by making mistakes that have painful consequences. Our inner judge says "How could you have done that?" "Why did this happen to me?" "You should have seen this coming" etc.

We shame and guilt ourselves over things that were out of our control. Stuff happens - good and bad. Yes, many times we had a part to play but other times, things just happen. We need to accept that bad things happen and that we are not flawed or somehow a bad person because such and such happened to us.

It is important to deal with what happened, heal from it, and then dust ourselves off and get back in the game of life. After many unfortunate circumstances, here are some ways I have learned to regain trust in myself and I'm sharing them with you.

1. Forgive yourself.
The first and most important thing is to mentally and emotionally let yourself off the hook. Give yourself grace. God does. Forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you might have made in the past. Learn the lesson(s) and then move on knowing you learned how to proceed in life in a better way. There is always a lesson to be learned in every trial.

2. Accept personal responsibility for the consequences.
If we want change in our lives, we have to take personal responsibility for our choices and our actions. Our lives will change when we do. It is too easy to blame other people for our problems but this way of thinking does not serve us. By blaming other people or circumstances, we are blinded from the truth that is is our actions and choices that put us where we are. If we are in debt, it is our spending habits that need to be changed. If we are overweight, it is our eating habits that need to be improved.

3. Trust in your ability.
Realize we make lots of decisions everyday, many of which we barely have to think about.
Decision-making is an on-going learning process that builds character. As a single parent, I had to make a lot of decisions raising my sons. Some decisions are bigger than others, but recognize the rewards of making good small decisions and you will become more confident when it comes to making bigger decisions.

4. Look for the positives.
We won't always make the right choice or decision. For example, for years after my divorce, I beat myself up saying "I married the wrong person," like there was something morally wrong with me. Until one day, one of my sons said "Well, Ma, you wouldn't have me if you didn't marry Dad." That put quite a different spin on the subject. Even when we feel like we have made a mistake, good can always come out of it. Don't beat yourself up. Realize this fact: there is no perfect decision. There will always be pluses and minuses. The key is to decide what is most important to you.

5. Don't pressure yourself into making big decisions quickly.
Some decisions such as who to marry, what career to pursue, have life-changing impact. The bigger the decision, the more time I spend on examining the various factors and possibilities. We make decisions based on the amount of information we have available at the time so don't feel pressured to make a decision if you are not 100% comfortable in your answer.

6. Do what is BEST for you.
For many years I was overly concerned about doing "the right thing." Then one day a counselor asked "How did doing the right thing become confused with doing what is best for you?" I really had to think about that. I had put a strick moral restraint on my decision-making process. The bigger the decision, the more time I spend researching all the different factors and possible outcomes. I know I will be the one to have to live with the consequences but I trust that I am making the best possible decision for me.

7. Trust in the Outcome
 Often people don't want to make decisions because they don't want to be held responsible for the outcome. The key is to be confident that no matter what the outcome, we will be okay. We will be able to handle the situation however it turns out. When we let go of the outcome, we free ourselves of the burden and allow God to step in.

 What do you feel led to do recently? Ask yourself what is the next right thing to do and then "Just do it!" as the Nike ad says. See how you feel. When we make a decision  we release the pressure. We feel relief to have made the decision.

If you enjoyed this post, please click the +1 icon. If you'd like to join our community and receive my bi-weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Until next time, ignite the power within and keep looking up!

Ariel 

3 Steps to More Peace During Painful Times

People today are struggling with the challenges, surprises, and painful situations in life. What is it that is challenging you today or causing you pain? Is it a financial situation? A relationship issue? A child? Your job? Or perhaps a health issue? What if it's all of the above?

How do we cope? Some resort to alcohol, drugs, food, illicit relationships, or workaholism to name a few. These are all ways of distancing ourselves from the pain and the issue. They are both unhealthy and destructive. These feed the flesh, soothe us temporarily, yet do nothing to address the real issues of life. They keep us stuck in the same pothole.

As odd as it may seem, trials are actually good for us. We lift weights and run longer distances to strengthen our physical endurance. In the same way, life presents us with trials and tribulations to give us opportunities to strengthen our emotional and spiritual endurance.
"Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, when you face various kinds of trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (James 1:2)

I am going through something right now at work with my boss. Seems we have a difference of perspective on how to handle situations. Challenging? You bet. Stressful - of course. But I have learned not to waste the pain.

Remember the old saying "No pain, no gain". I believe it is true. In order to grow in our faith and our character, when we experience trials it is important to find out what the lesson is we are supposed to learn. Yes, we cry out to God and shake our fist at the seeming injustice. But fret not, the Lord promises us that He will avenge us and encourages us to trust Him to take care of any injustice done to us(Romans 12:19).

So how to cope in a healthier way?

1. Take a step back and wait for the emotions to settle down.
I give myself a few days to pray about the situation and ask the Lord two questions: "Lord, what am I supposed to be learning from this?" and "How am I to deal with this?" I read the Word and wait for God to answer. He always does. It is truly amazing how faithful God is when we seek to do the right thing. Just yesterday I received the same direction from two different sources to "love my enemy". The more I prayed, the more revelation I received about the situation. After taking it to the Lord in prayer,

2. Take action.
I am a firm believer in clearing the air, and yes, it does take courage to confront. I have also learned it is much better to confront than to sweep things under the rug, because sooner or later the issue will resurface and need to be dealt with again. Clearing the air and reaching an understanding prevents bitterness, anger and resentment from building up inside, which is never a good thing. When negative feelings build up, eventually the relationship with disintegrate and cause even more pain.

3. Surrender it to God.
We can only do so much. It is important to differentiate between what is our responsibility and what belongs to others to deal with. Once we have done our part, the best thing to do is to give it to God. We may not receive the response we desire, but God is still working on people even if we don't see any evidence of it. Not everyone is at a maturity level to be able to handle confrontation. Some people would rather end the relationship than work through difficult emotions and again, this is out of our control. It means this person is no longer meant to be in our lives at this season.

So, dear friends, the next time you are going through a rough patch, don't waste the pain. Learn from the it and grow. If you'd like a copy of my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email in the box provided and as always, remember to keep looking up!

Ariel