Everybody is offended these days, it seems. From political differences, to gender references, to racism, you name it. The lack of respect for others in our society has caused a tremendous increase in offense. But does getting offended really help the situation? Any situation? I think not, so today in our ongoing quest to have more peaceful lives, we're talking about handling offense.
Personal Story
So my youngest son, now aged 40, was over for dinner last week. As I was cleaning up and putting away the food, I asked him if he would help dry the dishes. He said no. I got offended and off it went. He thought he was the guest and already did his part by wiping down the dinner table. I said we are a family and family pitches in to help. Was it a big deal? No, but did it steal the joy from the get together? Yes. I truly am grateful that he is back home from living out of state for 12 years, so why should I expect him to help? I can see both sides - now.
Don't Take the Bait
First, we need to understand our triggers. For me, it's respect. Or the lack thereof. For others, it can be comments about differing political opinions, comments about one's looks, weight, hair, skin color. We get offended for a variety of reasons usually something we value greatly. But - again - it is worth it to get upset about it? I think the answer is no. People will be people and everyone has their own perspective which we cannot change. As they say in recovery groups, "Live and let live." We can only control ourselves and that is hard enough.
Surrender to God
Now you may think it's impossible to not react, but it is not. This is where the power of the Holy Spirit comes to our aid. In the natural, our flesh wants us to react, to stand up for ourselves, our rights, and our opinions. But we are called to walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh (ego), right? The Word says "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord," (Romans 12:19) and Deut 32:35.
God sees everything we say and do. If we are wronged by a family member or friend, God sees it. Now I am not saying ignore mistreatment, this is where boundaries come in. What I am saying is that God doesn't want us to get into conflicts with others. "As best you can, live in peace with one another," (Romans 12:18). We cannot control what others say or do, but we can control what we allow and how we respond.
It Boils Down to Respect
In the end, it all boils down to respect - for one another, for ourselves and for God. We do ourselves no good when we get upset over the "small stuff" and as authors Bruce and Stan say in their books - "It's All Small Stuff."
Folks, life is precious. Next time you are tempted to react, try and catch yourself. Take a deep breath and say "It's all small stuff." That's what I am going to try.
For Reflection
What tends to trigger you to get upset? A family member? A coworker? Your boss? How can you practice letting go of being offended at this person? Do write and let us know so we can all be encouraged.
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Ariel Paz
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