Why Your Presence Is So Powerful

Relationships are interesting to say the least. We often wonder what makes someone tick. Why someone gets upset at something we said or did. People are an enigma. Yet there are some things we all have in common and one of them is the need for love. The problem is we all give and feel love in different ways. Today I am sharing on the fourth love language, according to well known author and speaker, Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages. 

If you missed the previous posts on the other love languages, just do a search on my blog for "love languages. It is critical to understand both your love language(s) and that of the other person you are in relationship with. Often we show love to others the way we would like to be loved, but the other person might not receive love the same way.

The fourth love language is my personal love language and that is: quality time; spending one on one time with your mate, partner, son or daughter. If quality time is your primary love language, it doesn't matter what the activity is, just being together is what matters.

Gals like to do things like shop, get their nails done, go for a massage. They love it when their partner wants to join them in these things. Guys, on the other hand, like their partner to join them in the  physical activities they enjoy such as biking, hiking, skiing, rock climbing, motorcycle riding. I have also noticed that men who like to watch sports like their woman to be there with them while they are watching the big game as long as they don't chit chat while it's going on.

So, what to make of these differing realities? Yes, I understand that going for a manicure or a massage or watching a football game might not be something you would like to do for YOURSELF. However, we are not talking about pleasing yourself here. We are talking about loving THE OTHER PERSON. The question to ask is not "How am I going to please myself?" but "How can I please this person?"

Many women have a tendency to devote most of their time and energy to the kids, the house, and various other activities. By the end of the day, they have little time or energy to devote to their spouse who really needs her attention. Men have a tendency to put their jobs first, thinking that by working so much they are saying "Look how much I love you".  If your mate's primary love language is quality time, he or she is going to value your time together more than how many hours you put in at the office or taking care of the home and the kids.

So, friends, today, consider how much alone time are you spending with your loved one. If your relationship is faltering, plan an outing together, a picnic, a night on the town or even spend a quiet evening at home sharing a nice meal. If neither of you wants to cook, treat yourselves and order out. Connection if foundational to any relationship and who knows, you just may put the sparkle back in your love life!

If you enjoyed this post, stay tuned for more on finding healing, wholeness, health and harmony by joining our community. Enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my bi-weekly posts plus a copy of my free eguide, "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Love

What is loving others all about, anyway and how do we do it effectively? The older I get, the more I understand that I need to learn how to love other people better and differently. Loving ourselves comes easily,for most of us, doesn't it? But when it comes to loving others now that is quite a different story. It is not something that comes naturally to most. Although I consider myself a very loving person, as most of us probably do, I am realizing that there is still much room for improvement.

One of the main characteristics of love, I think, is the ability to give; to give of one's self, one's time, one's energy, and one's resources; to give without expectation of something given back in return. Giving is love in action. A good test of how loving we are is how easy is it for us to give.

Valentine's Day has just passed and for me it was an opportunity to think of a creative way to bring a smile to someone's face. Over the years I have baked cookies and distributed them to my neighbors' doorsteps, nicely wrapped with red ribbon. At work, I leave those Valentine cards we used to give when we were back in school at my coworkers' cubicles when they are not there. I try to mix the playful with the romantic. My thinking is that Valentine's Day is a day set aside to remind us to show others that they are loved. Don't we all need to know that?

In this busy life, I think we do need reminders to be loving. We can get so caught up in our own lives, problems, and stresses, that we can easily forget to look out for others who may need a loving gesture, a smile, a box of chocolates or even a small bouquet of flowers to brighten their day. We never know what someone is going through and everyone is fighting their own battles.

Stay tuned as the topic of how to love continues and please do write and send me your thoughts and ideas. Until next time, be a blessing!