Are you constantly on the run? Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and don't have time to do the things that truly matter to you? Do you find yourself spending less and less time with friends and family and more time at the job or doing other activities? Breaking commitments and feeling bad afterwards? If so, you're not alone. A recent experience with a long-time high school friend demonstrated the need for a solution to this dilemma.
Some weeks can be particularly stressful and this had been one of them. I was so looking forward to getting together with a girlfriend. We had made plans about a month ago to get together to hear one of our favorite country bands at a nearby shopping mall. The week before I had an idea.
"Hey, girlfriend. Would you like to get together for dinner on Friday before the concert?"
"Hmmmm. Not sure if I will be able to make dinner. I'm driving some friends to Pennsylvania that day and it could be a long day. Ok if I let you know by 2 or 2:30 when I see how things are going?"
"Sure," I said, knowing full well there was no way she was going to make dinner if she was going on an all day trip to PA. I felt a twinge of disappointment as we both enjoy this pizza place and we hadn't been for quite a while, but I brushed it off and decided to look forward to the concert.
Long story short, my friend never made it to the concert. She was, understandably so, too exhausted from the day's trip.
Now please understand, I am writing from experience. I, too, have tried to do too much in the past until I learned about this one concept that fixed the problem once and for all. It's called Margin.
If you invest in the stock market or remember writing essays back in school, you know what I'm talking about, but in case you don't here's a basic explanation. Margin means 'leaving space'. It's a simple concept but it has huge implications.
Just as it is important to leave space on the written page, and space for the price of a stock to fall before you decide to buy it, it is even more important to leave space in our schedules between activities. Things always take more time and more energy than we usually anticipate, especially since none of us is getting any younger. But how exactly does one build margin into one's life?
Some keys I've learned:
1) practice saying that two-letter word "NO" and sticking to it
2) prioritize your activities, friendships, and commitments
3) put yourself first because you matter
4) don't guilt yourself into doing things you don't really want to do
We cannot say "Yes" to everything and everybody. Time is a gift to be treasured, not squandered. Scripture exhorts us to "let your yes be yes and your no be no", (Matthew 5:37). When we are clear on what we want to say "yes" to, it will be easier to say "no" to things that matter less. Stephen Covey has a whole series on this topic entitled "First Things First" if you want to read more about it.
Until next time, practice building margin into your day. Then write and share with me in the comments below how it has helped you feel more relaxed, more at peace, and more fulfilled than ever before.
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Stay tuned, pass this on to a friend and and remember - keep looking up!
Ariel Paz
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"I've just got too much to do and I'm exhausted." "I don't have time for...." Have you heard yourself make comments like these lately? Do you feel like you are never caught up? Always on the go and never have time to relax, exercise, or do something nice for yourself? If so, you are not alone. We all struggle with overwhelm at times, but there are ways to manage it and make life more relaxed and stress-free.
The feeling of being overwhelmed is a problem many struggle with, especially women who are usually taking care of the family, the house, the meals, the spouse or boyfriend, all the while holding down a full-time career AND trying to stay thin, fit, and beautiful. Just thinking about all this is exhausting.
I know because I've been there myself. As a single mom raising two sons, working at a demanding high-pressure job and going to night school, it was quite a juggling act to keep everything together. But I survived, and you will too and today I am sharing 5 tips on how to deal with overwhelm and not turn into the wicked witch of the west.
1. Take time to breath.
When we start feeling anxious, rushed, or stressed, that means it's time to take a break, sit down, and take a few deep calming breaths. Repeat a phrase that will calm you down such as "I can do this", "I am calm", or any prayer or meditation that you choose.
2. Prioritize.
Reevaluate what is really important in your life. Most women have a hard time relaxing. We need to remind ourselves to just "Chill out" and move relaxation higher up on the priority list. I know I do. Most men do not seem to have this problem, I have observed. We could learn from them.
3. Just say NO.
I used to carry a yellow laminated card in my purse with the word 'NO' written in big red letters. I would whip it out when someone asked me to do something I was not crazy about doing. Picture the referee at a soccer game giving a yellow card to one of the players. You get the idea.
4. Stay present.
Focus on the task at hand. Don't spend precious energy thinking about what all you have to do that day or that week. Take one thing at a time. Then rest. Then do the next thing. When we spend time complaining or ruminating about everything we have to do, we waste precious time and energy.
5. Be thankful.
Look for the positive side of the situation. Instead of complaining about cleaning the house, say "I am thankful I have the energy and the health to clean my house." "I am thankful I have a house to clean." Rather than bemoan your job, your boss, your coworkers, say "I am thankful I have a job and a steady income." There is always another way to look at things.
These are a few tips to help us all stay calm, cool, and collected despite the many demands and responsibilities of life. There will always be stuff to do. We cannot change that. But we can change our attitude on how we think about the stuff we have to do.
If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". Share this post with your friends too.
Until next time, remember to take time to rest and as always, keep looking up!
Ariel
