The Third Language of Love

Do you like to give gifts? Do you like to receive gifts? If so, your love language may be giving gifts.

Gift giving does not have to be expensive. Little things like a bouquet of flowers, a mug of his/her favorite coffee, perhaps a card or a note. Little things on a regular basis can certainly put the spark back in your relationship.

Giving gifts shows we are thinking about the other person, we care about them, and we made the time to purchase something we think they would like. Note that I said "purchase something we think they would like." Many people give gifts, but I have noticed that they are giving gifts THEY would LIKE. When purchasing a gift for someone, you really have to think about them as an individual - their tastes, their likes, their personality.

How often have you received a gift and thought "Why are they giving this to me?" A few years ago, someone gave me a green pin cushion as a birthday gift. I was perplexed. I don't have a sewing machine and I thought, either a) they were regifting it or b) they had no idea what else to get me. If you know someone well enough to feel comfortable giving them a gift, don't you have enough information to get them something they either like or could use?

If you are going to give a give, realize that it takes a bit of thought; that's what makes it special. I know the expression "It's the thought that counts" and that is true, but if you want your gift to be meaningful, it is important to make sure the recipient likes it.

Until next time, try giving your loved one a surprise gift and see their reaction. You may be tapping into a new source of closeness between the two of you!

The Favor of God

Have you experienced the favor of God recently? I'm sure you have but are you aware that you have? It wasn't until a few years ago that I became familiar with the favor of God. A Christian friend of mine kept pointing it out whenever we were together and something good would happen.

A parking space, front row seats, finding a $20 bill in the street, a stranger providing directions at a timely moment, a package or unexpected gift showing up in the mail when I'm having a tough day; these are all examples of the favor of God.

Last night I was out to dinner with some friends. We were at a casual Italian place and the tables were few and far between as it was a saturday night. We had a party of 7. As we were greeting each other, a coworker of mine walked up to say hello. "What are you doing in this neck of the woods?" he asked. "We're celebrating a friend's birthday and then going dancing," I replied.

Right about then, one of our party suggested we capture a table. There were only single tables that sat 4 people available. As we were pulling out extra chairs and trying to decide how to accomodate everyone, my coworker and his wife, who were in the middle of eating their dinner, pack up their food and plates and move to another table so we could pull the two tables together. Now what are the chances of running into someone I know, who lives in a totally different part of town, being at the same restaurant at the same time, offering to give up a table for us? I ask you!

Now some might call it serendipity, good luck or coincidence, but I know better. When it happens over and over again, it is not chance, dear reader. I know God's hand in action and I believe in giving credit where credit is due, you know what I mean?

God loves us; that is the bottom line. When you are walking with God, it's like Christmas everyday. You never know when he is going to surprise you with some blessing. Today I encourage you to look out for God's favor. Be thankful and realize how much God truly loves you!

How to Love

What is loving others all about, anyway and how do we do it effectively? The older I get, the more I understand that I need to learn how to love other people better and differently. Loving ourselves comes easily,for most of us, doesn't it? But when it comes to loving others now that is quite a different story. It is not something that comes naturally to most. Although I consider myself a very loving person, as most of us probably do, I am realizing that there is still much room for improvement.

One of the main characteristics of love, I think, is the ability to give; to give of one's self, one's time, one's energy, and one's resources; to give without expectation of something given back in return. Giving is love in action. A good test of how loving we are is how easy is it for us to give.

Valentine's Day has just passed and for me it was an opportunity to think of a creative way to bring a smile to someone's face. Over the years I have baked cookies and distributed them to my neighbors' doorsteps, nicely wrapped with red ribbon. At work, I leave those Valentine cards we used to give when we were back in school at my coworkers' cubicles when they are not there. I try to mix the playful with the romantic. My thinking is that Valentine's Day is a day set aside to remind us to show others that they are loved. Don't we all need to know that?

In this busy life, I think we do need reminders to be loving. We can get so caught up in our own lives, problems, and stresses, that we can easily forget to look out for others who may need a loving gesture, a smile, a box of chocolates or even a small bouquet of flowers to brighten their day. We never know what someone is going through and everyone is fighting their own battles.

Stay tuned as the topic of how to love continues and please do write and send me your thoughts and ideas. Until next time, be a blessing!

True Love

It's February and I'd like to talk about true love. What is true love? Is it that butterflies in the stomach, can't think of anything or anyone else, crazy for you feeling? We have all experienced this euphoria at least once or twice, right? It is something that kind of happens to us all of a sudden out of the blue. We are "smitten" as they say.

As wonderful as this "falling in love" stage is, I think it is a precursor to the possibility of true love. Experts say this romantic stage lasts at the most 2 years. Then what? What happens when those butterflies are gone and the reality of the humanness and flaws of our partner begin to appear?

Then we get to choose whether we want to truly love this person or not. True love is intentional. It is a choice we consciously make. To love another human being, despite their "issues", to want and to do everything in our power to help and support that person and to allow them to grow. Are you getting the idea? True love is not for the faint of heart or the uncommitted, "I'm outta here" when the going gets tough. True love is for mature people who know that love is worth the effort, the expense, and yes, even the heartache.

For a great definition of what love is, check out 1 Corinthians Chapter 13. "Love is patient, love is kind, love is not self-seeking, love keeps no record of wrongs". This is what true love looks like in action. What kind of love are you expressing these days, dear one?

The Sign of Snow

This morning as I look out my window, the sky is puffy and white and the snowflakes are softly floating through the air. Some might look at the snow and see it as a nuisance, an interference in their plans and schedules. I see it as a sign.

A sign, you ask? Of what?

A sign to slow down. To sit back by my fireplace, with a cup of hot tea, and maybe a book, a pet, or a loved one close by. The gym will always be there, so will the stores, the shopping, the errands. After a hectic week on all fronts, I enjoy a snowfall on a saturday morning. The peace I feel watching the snowflakes fall to the ground is a welcome respite from the busyness of the week. To me, it's a reminder from heaven to slow down and relax, to focus and perhaps meditate on what is really important in life.

As we rush through life, and worry and fret about the daily issues and annoyances, I remember Ps. 46:1 "Be still and know that I am God". That's all we really need to do, take some time to be still and listen. Enjoy the snow!

How to Stay Peaceful During the Holidays

Someone recently asked me how not to feel pressured and stressed at the holidays so I thought this topic is worthy of a blog post. 

Parties to attend, parties to plan, gifts to buy, and places to go. This time of year demands so much more energy and activity. Yet, I have to ask myself the question "Who and what are really the most important?" and then make sure I have enough time and energy to focus on these people and things. But how? 

In this year of economic turmoil brought on by the pandemic, there is a key word that I think applies to the holidays as well - downsize. For example, this year, I have resolved to buy less gifts for less people. In years past, I have spent a LOT of TIME thinking about what a particular person would like. I don't just pick up any old thing, and it takes thought to come up with a good gift. 

Another resolve is to say no to activities that either are not holiday related or have little meaning to me. It's a tough thing to say no to friends, but if they don't understand that is not my problem. The holidays are very special to me and if an activity is something that can be done some other time, then I put it off. 

Thirdly, I resolve to spend even more time with the Lord. Listening, praying and reading His Word are even more important when the heat turns up. "Oh, I wish I had more time to study" or "I wish I knew more scripture" are common complaints I hear from others. Well, guess what? Being connected to the Lord is a choice we have the power to make on a daily basis. It means putting spending time with Him a priority over everything else. And guess what else? I find that when I do make the time to spend in His presence, everything else becomes crystal clear. 

So, dear one, what choices and changes will you make this holiday season? I encourage you to say no to activities that hold no real meaning for you. Write me and let me know your ideas for staying peaceful during the holidays and in the meantime, be thankful for all!

Holiday Busyness

It is November and the holidays are fast approaching. Planning the Thanksgiving menu, Xmas gift list, and deciding on which activities to say yes or no to. I am starting to feel that pressure; you know the "too much to do" pressure. I know I am not alone in this and I am determined to not let it get to me this year.

Which means, some things have to change. But first, and more importantly is understanding where this feeling is coming from. Is it perhaps from some fear of "doing everything right" which is closely related to that P word - perfectionism? I wonder. I don't consider myself a perfectionist but I do like to do the best I can at whatever I do. Is this a problem? Perhaps.

When I start to have too many things on my mind so that I feel stressed and pressured, maybe I need to ask myself that question "What would Jesus do?" Would He want me feeling stressed and pressured by a never ending To Do List? I think not. Jesus came to save us from ourselves and our constant feelings on inadequacy by showing us how much He loves us by dying on the cross, right?

There is nothing I can do to be more loved by Him or anyone else for that matter. I think my sons would rather have a healthy calm mom and fewer presents under the tree, than a mother who gets stressed out, don't you think? Of course, I am not minimizing the fact that there is a lot more to do around the holidays and the brunt of the work does fall on the woman of the house, but being the woman, I need to take charge of what I do and don't do. And replace the pressure I feel with a sense of peace and serenity, knowing and trusting that God will work everything out just as it is supposed to be.

Next time, I'll talk about what I am going to change this season and share practical tips on what to do to avoid holiday stress. Until then, keep calm and keep looking up!