Walking by Faith Series - How to Believe in God

Do you believe in God? A higher power? The Universe? There are a lot of labels for God out there. One thing is for sure though, there is a force greater than ourselves that is a loving, kind, merciful energy, if you will, that is working all things for our good whether we can see it or not. In this new series, we'll be talking about finding God and walking in Faith. The Word says: "We walk by Faith and not be sight." If we could see the future, it wouldn't be called faith now would it? 

Many of us struggle with having faith and this series is designed to teach you how to strengthen your spiritual muscle, walk in victory over your circumstances, and have more peace and joy than ever before. Let's talk about God first. 

Who is God?

Years ago, I listened to Oprah Winfrey when she had a series called Super Soul Sunday. She would invite guests to speak and have a conversation with them about God. One question she asked frequently was "Who is God?" Maybe you ask yourself that same thing. 

Now, I write this with all humility, because God is holy and a mystery, but God does promise to reveal himself to us when we seek him. After 30+ years of seeking him, I have learned somethings about who God, so allow me to share them with you today.

God is Love. 

This might just be the most important attribute of God. He is love. He loves you and me - equally and unconditionally. What he has done in my life, he can do in yours. God wants the best for us, even when things don't look so great, even when we make mistakes, even when we doubt, we can trust that our loving God is with us and for us. He is guiding us and has a good plan for our future (Jer 29:11). 

God is grace. 

It was years before I heard about the grace of God. The recovery program has a phrase "God's grace is sufficient for me." God is not some angry being sitting up there in the sky just waiting for you to slip up or do something wrong so he can punish us. He sees the beginning and the end of time. He is willing - say willing - to extend grace to each of us. 

Do you know what the word Grace means? It means the undeserved favor of God. That's right, underserved. We don't have to earn it. In fact, we can't earn it. God's grace is FREE if we are willing to receive it. 

God is holy. 

Now this is where some people get it wrong. God is holy, which means he is without sin. It also means he cannot exist where there is sin. Sin blocks God's presence and action in our lives. Sin seems to be a dirty word in society, but let's be real. Sin exists. Evil exists. And where sin and evil exist, God is not there. 

What does the word holy mean? In the biblical sense, it means whole, complete, pure, set aside, without damage. God is all of these and we are not. The good news is we are in the process of being sanctified, which means being made whole. God says "he will make you white as snow." No one is sinless. "We have all sinned and fallen short." I believe that the more we work to remove sin in our lives, the closer we will be to God. 

There are a lot more attributes of God to learn about but these three came to mind. Now let's talk about how to believe in God. 

The How of Believing 

It's actually very simple. We make a decision. That's it. That is the first crucial step - make a decision to believe in God. And God will take it from there. We have to put aside our prejudices and our pains, our old ways of thinking and start with a fresh slate. It really is an exciting journey. You can learn more about starting your spiritual journey by getting a copy of my free ebook "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". Simply enter your email on this blog and I'll get it right out to you. 

Of course, there are things we can do to learn who God is like read the Bible, pray, journal, and associate with like-minded folks. This is the main reason I write this blog - to help you get to know God and to strengthen your faith which I like to call your spiritual muscle. 

For Reflection

Now let me ask you. Who do you think God is? Do you believe he cares about you individually? What actions can you - will you - take to get to know more about God? Feel free to email me if you have any questions and I'll do my best to answer. 

If this post was inspiring and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly newsletter full of encouragement and often some tasty recipes, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, follow me on Pinterest and check out my collection on health and wellness, prayer and meditation, gratitude, positivity, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. 

https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for this series to help YOU ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Come follow me.

@ArielPaz - Facebook

@Ariel Paz - Twitter

@Ariel Paz - Instagram 

@Ariel Paz - Pinterest

How to Surrender to God

We've all heard the expression "Let go and let God", right? I assumed everyone understood what this means until I posted this photo on Facebook and a friend came back with the question "How do you do that?"

Another word for letting go is to surrender. Detach. Give people space. It is a crucial skill to learn if we want to have peace in our lives and in our relationships. Let's jump in. 

1. First step is to realize that letting go is an ongoing process.
We learn to let go. It doesn't come naturally. We develop the ability to let go gradually as we experience loss, grief, and pain in our lives such as when a loved one dies or leaves home, a beloved pet dies, or when a relationship ends. Letting go is an ongoing process because life is constantly in a state of change.

2.  Another term related to letting go is "detachment" which means separating ourselves from another person. 
In recovery terms, detachment means emotionally disconnecting from the abusive, destructive or unhealthy behavior of another person for our own well-being. We think we are being caring, but really, we are being codependent. 

Detaching does not mean we stop loving or caring about the other person but we no longer allow their behaviors to steal our peace and joy. We don't get into it with them. We stop trying to change them or get them to change. It's not our monkey. 

Some extreme examples would be living with an alcoholic, an addict, a gambler, or an angry person. Sometimes, we have to detach from family and friends who, for whatever reason, are unable to participate fully in a healthy relationship. It takes two healthy people to make any relationship work.

When we detach, we find more time and energy to love and take care of  ourselves and we allow the other person the time and space to deal with their own issues. It is truly the loving thing to do for both parties. 

3. Letting go has to do with responsibility. 

Sometimes we take on responsibility for problems we do not own. For example, a parent taking financial responsibility for an adult child. A mother not allowing her children to suffer the consequences of their actions. A spouse covering for a partner's addiction such as overspending, drinking, gambling, getting into fights, etc. Codependency causes people to take on others' consequences to the detriment of their own physical and financial well-being. 

4. Letting go is the opposite of controlling. 

People who are overly responsible are often codependent and usually have control issues. Codependents think they are taking care of others, but in reality, it is a form of control based on fear. Most people have control issues to some degree, but fearful people are on the extreme end of the spectrum. If someone you know is controlling, one question to ask them is: "What are you afraid of here?" This will help bring to light the irrational fear they may be struggling with.

No one wants to be controlled.  We are responsible for managing our own lives, but not the lives of those around us. Often, our "caring" efforts are seen as controlling. This is when relationships deteriorate. When we let go of control, we allow the other person the freedom and the dignity to make their own choices and experience the results of those choices.

5. Letting go applies to every area of our lives.
Many people hold on to stuff for years and years for emotional reasons. I once dated a guy who had an entire office filled with old newspapers he'd never read. His garage was packed with stuff his kids used when they were little. These people have a hard time "letting go" of stuff. They've even made a TV show out of this behavior called "Hoarders". If you have a hard time parting with material things, your house is cluttered, and your garage is overflowing, you may want to examine your reasons for holding on to all of that. Does it make you feel loved? Secure? Are you holding on to the past? Think of cleaning house as an opportunity to practice letting go and open yourself up to NEW ADVENTURES!

6.  Surrender to God's will.
When we learn to let go in our lives, we are basically saying "Thy will be done" or "Que sera sera". We no longer insist on our agendas, our plans, and our timeframes. We are more flexible and resilient when the unexpected happens. We feel more peace and tranquility because we have let go of the need to control the outcome of events. We really can't control very much in life. We can't control the stock market, our relatives, our kids, or what happens in the world so we might as well accept life as it is and enjoy it the best we can. Here is the Serenity Prayer in its entirety:

The Serenity Prayer

 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right

if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. 

Reinhold Niebuhr

Personal Story

So yesterday, I was all dressed and ready to go hear an outdoor concert about 20 minutes from me. I checked my tires and they were on the low side so decided to try and fill them myself. Well. After 3 gas stations and 2 broken air machines, one of my tires had no air in it. The "Check tire pressure" warning came up.

Immediately, I said a prayer to make it back to another gas station and thankfully, their machine was working. Sort of. I was able to inflate the tire. This was in 97 degree heat, mind you. An hour had gone by. My white capris were filthy and I was a sweaty disgusted mess. I paused to think and pray. Then I did what I'm telling you to do. I let my plans go. Things happen. I drove home and headed straight for the pool. Immediately all the stress washed away and my joy returned. Folks, when things seem to work against you for whatever reason, choose whatever will bring you peace in the moment. 

7. Evaluate my priorities.
There are only 24 hours in every day and we only have so many days to live. How will I choose to live them and with whom? I reexamine my priorities several times a year. I make a conscious choice on where, how, and with whom I want to spend my time.

I have learned that in order to add something or someone new to my life, I must let go of something or someone else or I will be out of balance. When we let go of an unhealthy relationship, we are open to receive a healthier one in its place. First, we will get a test to see if we will go back to our old patterns of accepting unhealthy behavior. After we pass that test, God will bring us healthier friends. 

When we let go of anxiety and worry, we make room for peace and joy. When we let go of activity, we make room for relaxation and self-care. It's all a matter of evaluating what is important to us in the here and now.

8. Choosing Peace over Control 
If we want to have more peace and joy and less stress in our lives, learning to let go is one of life's most important lessons.  I have a post- it note on which is written a quote from Oprah Winfrey that says: "All stress comes from resisting what is". I think she is right on. 

Some of us, including me as an oldest child in a dysfunctional family, have become too responsible for others. And yes, it is still a problem. When the adults in a family don't assume their rightful responsibilities, then the children are left to do so, sadly. A sign we are too controlling is when we start to experience push-back from other people. This is the time to step back and give the relationship space and distance. 

Personal Story - Dealing with elderly relatives 

So my 95 year old mother was in a sad state. She couldn't walk. She fractured her back earlier last year, and we had to move her to assisted living. I had to take over handling all of her stuff - her phone, her drs appts, her physical therapist, her medications, her finances, her bills. You may be dealing with a similar situation. It's tough on everyone. 

Well, I thought I was helping her by taking on these responsibilities, but what I came to realize is she became angry or resentful at me for doing so. Sadly. Who else was going to care for her? 

Then it dawned on me. She is angry at herself and projecting it onto me. So I have decided to do what I am telling you to do - take a step back. Let her call me. Stop being so responsible for all her stuff. She still has a decent mind and can and should speak up for herself. It was a tough lesson to learn but when people are ungrateful for your help, maybe they don't really want it. Let me say that again.

To Learn More on Letting Go

If you want more information on letting go, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth", In it, I explain in detail the how, when, and what of letting go and the various areas of our lives that we get to practice this in. It is life changing for sure. 

For Reflection
So what have you let go of that made a difference in your life? What do you need to let go of today that could bring you more peace? Leave a comment or post in your journal. 

If you enjoyed this post, join our blog community. Enter your email address in the box provided & you'll receive my weekly posts and also a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" to get you started on your exciting spiritual journey. I'm working on a new gift for you so stay connected. 

Stay tuned for more on having more peace in our relationships and our lives. 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Let Go of Being Offended

Everybody is offended these days, it seems. From political differences, to gender references, to racism, you name it. The lack of respect for others in our society has caused a tremendous increase in offense. But does getting offended really help the situation? Any situation? I think not, so today in our ongoing quest to have more peaceful lives, we're talking about handling offense. 

Personal Story

So my youngest son, now aged 40, was over for dinner last week. As I was cleaning up and putting away the food, I asked him if he would help dry the dishes. He said no. I got offended and off it went. He thought he was the guest and already did his part by wiping down the dinner table. I said we are a family and family pitches in to help. Was it a big deal? No, but did it steal the joy from the get together? Yes. I truly am grateful that he is back home from living out of state for 12 years, so why should I expect him to help? I can see both sides - now. 

Don't Take the Bait

First, we need to understand our triggers. For me, it's respect. Or the lack thereof. For others, it can be comments about differing political opinions, comments about one's looks, weight, hair, skin color. We get offended for a variety of reasons usually something we value greatly. But - again - it is worth it to get upset about it? I think the answer is no. People will be people and everyone has their own perspective which we cannot change. As they say in recovery groups, "Live and let live." We can only control ourselves and that is hard enough. 

Surrender to God

Now you may think it's impossible to not react, but it is not. This is where the power of the Holy Spirit comes to our aid. In the natural, our flesh wants us to react, to stand up for ourselves, our rights, and our opinions. But we are called to walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh (ego), right? The Word says "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord," (Romans 12:19) and Deut 32:35. 

God sees everything we say and do. If we are wronged by a family member or friend, God sees it. Now I am not saying ignore mistreatment, this is where boundaries come in. What I am saying is that God doesn't want us to get into conflicts with others. "As best you can, live in peace with one another," (Romans 12:18). We cannot control what others say or do, but we can control what we allow and how we respond. 

It Boils Down to Respect

In the end, it all boils down to respect - for one another, for ourselves and for God. We do ourselves no good when we get upset over the "small stuff" and as authors Bruce and Stan say in their books - "It's All Small Stuff." 

Folks, life is precious. Next time you are tempted to react, try and catch yourself. Take a deep breath and say "It's all small stuff." That's what I am going to try. 

For Reflection

What tends to trigger you to get upset? A family member? A coworker? Your boss? How can you practice letting go of being offended at this person? Do write and let us know so we can all be encouraged. 

If this article was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly newsletter full of encouragement and often some tasty recipes, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, pop on over to Pinterest to check out my collection on health and wellness, fashion, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

Come follow me.

@ArielPaz - Facebook

@Ariel Paz - Twitter

@Ariel Paz - Instagram 

@Ariel Paz - Pinterest

How to Have More Peace by Learning to Let Go

You've most likely heard the phrase "Let go and let God". It's from the Recovery 12-step program. I thought everyone knew what letting go meant until one of my girlfriends asked "How do you let go?" She was serious. Her husband had died more than 10 years ago and she was still grieving. So today, I'm going to do my best to explain the concept of letting go in practical terms to help us all let go of situations, people, pets, and past experiences sooner rather than later so we can enjoy more peace and JOY in the present moment. 

The process of learning to let go is powerful and on-going and can be applied in many aspects of life. This is one spiritual lesson we keep getting to practice over and over again because it applies to so many areas of life in all seasons of life. 

What is "letting go"?
Letting go has to do with attachment. We humans tend to get attached: to the past, to people, pets, material possessions, as well as negative thought patterns and bad habits to name a few. The problem is we become too attached. We hold on too tightly and then, inevitably, we suffer: a loved one dies or moves on, a material possession is lost, broken, or damaged, or a pet runs away or dies. The passage in Isaiah 43:18-19 says this "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past".

When we hold on to negative coping mechanisms from the past or emotions such as anger, grief, or resentment, we prevent ourselves from moving forward in life.  Faulty beliefs and patterns keep us stuck like a rat on a wheel going nowhere. It is a choice to think on things above as it says in Phil 4:8. "Think on things that are pure, true, noble, admirable, lovely, and praiseworthy." I have to admit, this is a struggle for me, too, especially when one is brought up in a critical home environment and praise was based on performance. 

When to let go
Impermanence and change are undeniable truths of our existence. Everything on earth is changing. The seasons change. The weather changes. People change. Technology changes. The body changes. Change is part of life whether we like it or not. It is all part of the circle and evolution of life. So how do we know when it is time to let go?

One way to know it is time to let go is to ask ourselves these questions "Is this bearing any fruit in my life?", "Do I have joy today?" or "Is this serving me right now?"  If the answer we get is no, it is time to put whatever it is behind us, adopt new ways of thinking and relating, and move FORWARD. 

A second sign is lingering emotional or mental pain. For example, when we hold on to a dysfunctional relationship for too long, we will eventually lose our joy and our peace and sometimes our health. Constant conflict and friction are warning  signs. I have been guilty of holding on to relationships for far too long and not setting firmer boundaries soon enough so I know what I am talking about. 

Grieving Loss 
Now it is normal and crucial to grieve the loss of a loved one or beloved pet. A counselor once told me "The price of love is grief" and that is so true. When we love much, the grief of the loss is heavy, but grieve we must if we want to move thru it to the other side and regain our joy and our peace.

It is, however, not healthy if the grieving goes on year after year and we are constantly dwelling on the loss. At some point, we must make a conscious effort to not dwell on the hurt of the loss because this steals the joy from today and prevents us from living and enjoying the present moment.

Letting go is a process we get to practice again and again in different situations.  Whenever I feel like my joy is gone, I ask myself "What do I need to let go of?" There is usually something that is stealing my peace and joy. The good news is with practice, we will recognize sooner rather than later when we need to let go of something or someone. 

For Reflection

What can you let go of today? A broken relationship? A garage or house full of stuff? The pain from a past hurt? I encourage you to give it to God and let him replace it with the fruit of the Spirit in the present moment. For more on this important topic, get your copy of my new book "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your spiritual growth."  where I go more into depth about this. 

If this post was helpful, leave a comment, ask a question, and share it with a friend in need. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email in the box provided. I'll also send you a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path",

Stay tuned for my next post to encourage, educate and inspire you. 

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

On The Practice of Radical Acceptance

What is it that just "gets your goat"? A neighbor, relative, or coworker? Traffic? Screaming kids? These all have one thing in common; they are all out of our control and fighting them steals our peace and our joy. 

Wouldn't we all be a whole lot happier and more at peace if we learned the practice of radical acceptance as described by author, psychologist and meditation teacher, Tara Brach? To accept people and circumstances as they are. To live and let live. I've been getting another lesson in this recently. We have to make a conscious decision to accept things and people as they are, not as we would have them to be. 

Personal Story

I love summer and the opportunity to go to the "private" pool here at my complex. For me, it's downtime. Time to rest, soak up the sun and read. What I don't love are lots of loud screaming grand kids, people who talk on the speaker phone like they are at home, and loud grandparents. 

Many people are simply unaware or don't care how loud they are, but I consider it a lack of respect for others. I know there is no controlling kids but there are rules that are not being obeyed and this "gets my goat". After my attempts to bring attention to these situations failed miserably, I have come to the point of "radical acceptance." Some things you just have to accept, regardless of what you may want or think. It's called letting go of control. 

Dealing with Frustrations 
Life is full of things that are out of our control such as the stock market, the weather, strange unexpected occurrences, aches and pains, and relatives, to name a few. Many of us struggle with a chronic condition such as arthritis, migraine, anxiety, or depression. We have relatives that don't want to get along with us and the weather seems to have gone haywire along with the rest of the world. As long as we fight against what is, we will not have peace in our relationships or peace within. 

A Phrase to Remember 
Years ago, I had a dear friend whose favorite expressions was "It is what it is". I thought that was so profound. She had learned, or was trying to learn was to surrender and to accept things that were out of her control. Learning to surrender is a process because it can be applied to so many aspects of our lives at different times in our lives. Life continually gives us "opportunities" to practice. 

If we want more peace on a daily basis, we must learn radical acceptance - of our conditions and of the people in our lives. But let me take this one step further - deeper. More importantly we need to learn to practice radical acceptance of ourselves. 

Accepting Ourselves
We must also learn to embrace every aspect of ourselves: flaws, imperfections, personality traits, flabby thighs, balding head, and all. Sure this blog is all about growth and spiritual development, but let's remember to love ourselves along our journey to healing and wholeness. I think sometimes I focus more on the things I want to fix and change about myself, rather than treating myself with loving kindness. What's worse, I probably do that with others as well. Smack me, would you? 

Some traditions say we are perfect just as we are and I've always disagreed with that concept but maybe - just maybe - what they really mean is "accept ourselves the way we are" and in that way we are perfect. Make sense? This is a HUGE change of perspective for me. How about you?

For Reflection

What is stealing your peace and your joy? What do you constantly complain about? What frustrates you? This week let's practice radical acceptance. Let's stop complaining about what is and start replacing these thoughts with thoughts of gratitude and loving-kindness. There is always another way to look at things. 

If this post resonated with you, do join our community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my weekly posts plus a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". Also check out my collection I've curated on Pinterest on a variety of related topics such as health and wellness, mindfulness and meditation, great recipes, and much more. Click here to explore. 

Until next time, stay tuned for more on surrender and radical acceptance and remember, 

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

How to Stay Joyful During Frustrating Times

Life can be stressful: finances, health issues, relationship problems, daily frustrations. Today I had another call from a collection agency threatening me over a bill that has already been paid in full. Talk about frustration.

It's easy to lose our joy amidst these challenges. We all have our struggles. The key is how we perceive them and how we respond to them. No one wants to be around a sourpuss or someone who is constantly talking about their problems. Much of this behavior comes from our personality type and the people we have been around. 

Today I’m sharing a few more techniques I use to maintain my joy during frustrating times. When things get challenging, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really important and to keep my focus where it should be, which is on staying in peace and living in joy.

So how can we be more joyful during times of peak stress? Here are a few tips I've learned over the years that help me keep my joy level up and my stress level down.

1. Learn to use that two-letter word "NO". 

Setting a firm boundary is one of the best ways I know to get back my joy and peace and I can't stress this strongly enough. 

Say no to the boss. Now this is a tough one, but you can do it. I worked for a large corporation whose IT department gave in to the unrealistic demands of the business partner. I was a single mom who had a family to take care of. I remember a gal who worked a lot of overtime one year. When bonus time came around, she was very disappointed. She learned a hard lesson - extra time doesn't always pay off in extra pay. 

On a social front, I only accept offers and invitations my heart is into. I say NO to everything else, especially around Christmas. 

I let go of relationships that drag me down and suck my energy. I take a break from stressful relatives. Just because they are a relative doesn't mean we  should allow mistreatment, disrespect, or tolerate their anger or negativity. Giving them distance allows them to think about their behavior but don't assume they are mind-readers. I am clear and direct about what is bothering me and what I want or need from them. Then it is up to them to decide how to behave if they want to move forward. Setting boundaries is risky because many people don't want to acknowledge their behavior or its impact on us. Many don't want to change. 

Say "no" to requests that are not your responsibility. The above mentioned collection agency wanted me to fax the payment to them for a bill that had already been paid and I told them "no". It was not my responsibility.

2.  Ditch the guilt.  

When I say NO, I am being true to my values. I don't need to feel guilty for saying "no". We are not respecting ourselves if we say yes to something when our heart is not in it. We are not respecting ourselves if we let someone else disrespect us. If I feel overly stressed doing something with someone, it's not worth it. Pay attention to that small voice inside, your gut, or however else your body speaks to you. 

3.  Look at the big picture. 
I ask myself this question "What's really important here?" The answer always is "My peace." 

When the stress level rises, it is easy to get bent out of shape over things that are trivial in the big picture. The logic side of our brain gets hijacked by the emotional side and we can't think straight. By stepping back, taking some deep breaths, and calming ourselves down, we can turn an upsetting situation around and regain our calm.

4. Learn to lighten up. 
I know I need work in this area. Still. Take a breath. Exhale the tension. Relax your shoulders. Calm your emotions. Then try and make a funny. Tell a story or a joke that doesn't offend anyone. Laughter decreases tension. Make a joke, just be sure it is not at the other person's expense. My youngest and I practice this whenever one of us is venting about something stressful. Ending on an up note helps everyone feel better.

5. Overlook people's mistakes. 
We are all human. People won't always be on time, say the right thing, give the perfect gift or respond the way you would like them to. The world is a messed up place. Communication is not optimum. Being aware of your frustration levels is key. Let go of the frustration quickly and don't dwell on what someone said or did that really won't matter tomorrow anyway. Frustration has an insidious way of building up and then we explode on an innocent person.

6. Focus on the positives.
Nobody's life is perfect, not mine, not your friend's, not the Hollywood or sports stars you admire.

We all have stuff. No church is perfect. No mate is perfect. We are not perfect.  The 6th key to maintaining our joy is to focus on the good things in our lives: the fact that we have a home, a car, a job, good health, friends. The fact that we have a tremendous amount of freedom in this country, that we are financially better off than most of the world and the fact that God gave us another day to enjoy. Despite the upsetting phone call this morning, I am focusing on the fact that I have the freedom, the time, and the tools to write this blog post to help encourage others.

7. Give yourself more down-time. 
The mind and the body need time to rejuvenate and process the events of the day. If you are one of those type-A personalities that is always checking their phone, consider unplugging. If you are a highly sensitive personality, like me, we need even more down-time. Respect your needs. Make time for quiet, reflection, exercise and rest. We must take care of our brains and our bodies if we want them to last and be functional for the long haul.

For Reflection

Who or what is stealing your joy today? Which of these tips can you implement today to restore your joy? With practice, we can learn to keep more of our peace and our joy even during peak stress seasons. I hope these 7 tips are helpful. Write me and share some techniques you use to maintain your joy so I can add them to the list.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my positive and practical weekly posts plus a copy of my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

This is the final post on this topic. Do write and let me know what topic you would like to read about in next month's series. Would love to hear from you. 

Until next time, keep your focus on living in joy, and above all, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

6 Easy Ways to Get Your Joy Back - Part 2

"How am I feeling this morning?" This is a good question to ask ourselves before we start our day. "Am I feeling joyful?" If we don't mindfully check in with ourselves we'll go around feeling blah and we'll turn to distractions, alcohol, shopping or some other addictive behavior to make us feel better. If we aren't feeling the joy of the Lord, something is wrong so what to do about it? This week I'm sharing 3 more steps to getting our joy back. 

How high is your joy meter today? High, low, or medium? Things can happen in a minute that can steal our joy, which is where mindfulness and faith come in. It's a question of being aware of when something irritates us and then making a mindful decision whether we are going to let it get to us. 

Joy flows in and through us on a daily basis but we must make a conscious decision to keep our joy and not get aggravated at every little thing: the elderly mom, the rebellious kids, the traffic, the boss, the list is endless. 

Today I am sharing the next 3 tips as promised. If you missed the first 3 tips for getting your joy back, here is the post again. 

                                               

Tip #4: Pay attention to your thoughts. 

Here's a quick mindfulness practice I do every morning to get in the right frame of mind. As soon as my eyes open, I declare this verse - out loud:  "This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24). Notice the emphasis on the words "I will". This indicates I am making a conscious DECISION to be joyful. We must be deliberate about our frame of mind, if we want to stay joyful on a daily basis and into our later years. 

Do you find yourself dwelling on the same issue or person for days or nights on end? Picture a car stuck in a ditch with the wheels whirling and whirling. This is what our minds are doing when we ruminate or over-think and it is a joy-stealer. When we spin our mental wheels trying to figure something out or solve a problem that has no solution, this burns us out mentally and energetically. It can also cause headaches and migraines. I know this from first-hand experience. 

How to Avoid Overthinking
There are two ways to get out of the overthinking cycle. 

1) decide on an action to take in the moment. Taking some type of action takes the pressure off and makes us feel less out of control of the situation. 

2) realize we are overthinking something and decide to put the issue on the back burner till we get clarity. This takes the pressure off and I'm all about taking the pressure off. 

I know this is tough, but we are not in control of the when the answers will come.  We need to learn to trust in God to reveal them in HIS timing, not ours. It's another opportunity to practice letting go.

Exercise Your Faith

Another example I had to deal with last year was what to do about my 94 yr old mother who fractured her back. Without going into all the details, there were a lot of factors to consider, as anyone who has elderly parents knows. I assured my sister and my mother, who were both freaking out, that we would figure it out slowly. I kept saying "Let's stay in today" to calm them down.

Actually, I am pretty proud of myself that I did stay so composed and in the moment and did not freak out. I trusted that God would show us the way and he did. She went to rehab which she hated and then I found her an assisted living facility that served her chocolate cake the first day she got there. Her comment was "I should have done this years ago." It is in these types of critical, stressful situations that Faith and a spiritual practice pays off, friends. A spiritual practice helps us to not freak out when uncertainty hits and answers are complicated because we have a God who cares. 

Practice Mindfulness Daily
The natural state of our mind is to be peaceful but there are so many things to worry/stress/think about in every day life. Scripture exhorts us to "take every thought captive" (2 Cor 10:5). This means to pay attention to what we're thinking about. Our thoughts can take us down the proverbial rabbit hole if we don't learn how to be mindful and take control of them.   

The good news is practicing mindfulness helps us to be more aware of our thoughts and our emotions. We need to catch ourselves ruminating or dwelling on negative topics and bring ourselves back to the present moment, the here and now, because that is where JOY is found. Joy is not found in yesterday or tomorrow, folks. By practicing spiritual techniques (Check out my new ebook, "Ignite the Power Within: 10 Steps to Supercharge Your Spiritual Growth), slowly, the grooves in our brains will be rewired and we will have better thinking patterns over time.

No matter what thoughts pop into my head, I remind myself of the truths I believe in. "Lord, I know you see this situation. It might not look good to me right now, but your word says you work all things out for my good. I will take responsibility for my thoughts, decisions, and actions. I will stay in peace and trust you to guide me. I will rejoice and be glad today. I will take care of myself and set firm boundaries. Thank you, Lord." This helps strengthen my spiritual muscle and keeps my peace and joy. 

Tip #5: Have some fun. 
As a single parent of two growing boys for many years combined with a full-time career plus grad school, it was hard to find time to have fun. Even now as an older single lady with few friends, it is hard to find time to have fun. Now I will admit having fun has changed over the years. I used to love to go ballroom dancing, or any kind of dancing for that matter. Now fun is enjoying the pool, working on my blog or my lettering, making a good dinner. Fun is something you choose to do that is pleasurable that keeps you in the present moment. What do you like to do for fun these days?

Keep Play in the Picture 
No matter how busy we might be, however, play is vital to our well-being. (See #5 in my recent book "Take Back Your Life". )  Some of us, including me, are so responsible, we have to schedule downtime and play into our to-do lists. As I write this I am thinking when was the last time I played...does watching a soccer game fall into the play category? I think so. 

Others play too much and neglect their responsibilities as well as their health. We need to find balance in our daily lives if we want to keep our joy. Having fun makes room for joy to pop back up because it lets the pressure out of the pot. 

What do you like to do? What takes your mind off your problems and brings you into the present moment? Choose a healthy activity that will restore and energize you, instead of depleting you or taking you out of the present moment like watching the boob tube or playing video games. Something out of doors is always good this time of year.  Walking is a great way to let go of stress and get a bit of exercise and fresh air. Team up with a friend or loved one if you can. Or maybe go for a bike ride, or do some gardening. Even a half hour will do you a world of good and help you clear your mind and reconnect with your joy.  

Tip #6: Let go of control. 
We all like to be in control. My issue stems from being raised in a chaotic home, where everything was out of control, but most of us want to be "in control" to some degree. The truth is there are only a handful of things that are truly under our control. Much of life - aka other people - are not and the sooner we come to understand this, the more peace and less stress we will have.  

Do what you can to attend to any given situation (if you need to) and then give it to God. Notice we have a part in fixing our problems. We can't just throw up our hands and say "Well, God will take care of it." When we do what we can, God will do what we can't. This is where faith, patience and obedience come in. 

If you want more peace in your daily life, learn how and when to let go. I talk about all the ins and outs of letting go of control in my new book, "Ignite the Power Within." Letting go is a spiritual practice and if you don't know what it is, how it applies to your life, or how to do it, I encourage you to order my new book and learn more today.

So there you have my 6 tips to getting your joy back.  
We all go through difficult situations and I'm certainly not minimizing what you or I are going through right now, but I have learned that stuff will ALWAYS keep coming at us. As author, Sonia Choquette says in her book "Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose", "We are souls on a journey to heal, grow and evolve and these trials are our tests to pass".  It is up to us to decide how each situation will affect us and how we will respond to it. The quicker we can let go of unhappy, negative thoughts, the more we can enjoy each day.

Reflection:
How about you? Is there something or someone stealing your joy right now? Are you feeling overwhelmed with all your responsibilities? What changes do you need to make to have more peace and joy? Don't let the challenges of life steal either one. Make a decision to let go of control and enjoy each day for the gift it is. That's why they call it "the present".

If this article was helpful and you'd like to join our community and receive my weekly posts, enter your email address in the box provided. As a thank you, I'll send you my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

For more tips and info on a wide-variety of topics, pop on over to Pinterest to check out my collection on health and wellness, fashion, recipes, exercise and diet, and so much more. https://www.pinterest.com/arielpaz/pins/

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny! 

Until next time, keep smiling and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz