5 Keys to Living a Fulfilled Life

Are you content with your life? Are you accomplishing your goals and dreams? Do you look forward to starting each new day? If so, then you are living a life of wholeness but there is always something new to learn to move forward, have more joy and to be more of a blessing to others which is what it is all about anyway, right?

Or when the alarm goes off, do you just want to pull the covers over your head?  No joy? No motivation?  Well, this is the year to make a change! In today's post, we'll talk about the 5 keys to living a fulfilled and joyful life.

1. Focus.
In order to live a fulfilled life we must have focus. Focus is a critical discipline we need to master if we want to make progress in life. When we don't have focus, we drift from one thing to the next, never really accomplishing much or feeling fulfilled. When we are focused, we have well-defined goals in front of us as well as a strong belief that we can achieve them. It means having our eyes and our minds set on the direction we want to head in and wearing blinders to everything else. It means saying "NO" to people and activities that don't align with our goals and values.

2. Values are the things that are most precious to us in a given season. 
Here are some examples of goals and focused action that supports them.

If it really matters to me to look good in a size 6 jeans, then I will exercise and eat right. If I want to enjoy my home,  then I will make time to clean, organize and decorate it. If I care about my health, then I will watch my weight,  monitor my cholesterol and blood pressure, and watch my stress levels. Like-wise, if I want to enjoy financial freedom, I will ditch my debt and curb my spending habits.

Values can change over time. For example, being a mother was a high priority when I was a single parent raising two sons. My sons are now grown independent adults who have their own lives so now I am free to pursue my own interests.  Good health and keeping in shape are still of high importance. I don't want to let myself drift into being overweight and out of shape as I age. Other values are peace of mind, security, fun, and growth, to name a few. We each get to choose our own values.

Our values determine  how we spend our time. When our activities and choices align with our values we feel at peace and content because we are living a life of integrity and wholeness. When our lives are full of activities that do not align with our values, we will feel unfulfilled, frustrated, and discontent.

3. Awareness is being conscious of the choices I am making in the present moment.
It means being conscious of my actions, my behaviors, and my thoughts. When I am fully present, my mind and my thoughts are focused on what I am doing. I make choices based on my values and goals. I am listening to that still small inner voice and not the voice of my flesh or other people.

Ephesians 5:15-16 says "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." In other words, it is very easy to be distracted and it is the aware and conscious person who makes good use of his/her time. Time is one commodity we cannot get back. 

4. Decisions.
Indecision holds us back. We waffle back and forth and this keeps us stuck. We make excuses. Decisions are powerful because they move us forward in life and into our destinies. A decision is like a stake in the ground. "I will .....". Of course, we should always consult with God on our decisions. It is all too easy to let the flesh and our egos dictate our decisions. We have to ask ourselves "Where will this decision take me? Where will I be in the next five years as a result of this decision?" "Will I regret this?"

5. Action.
After we have made a decision, the next step is to take action to follow through. If we decide we want to lose 5 pounds, we will cut back on our food intake. We will get more exercise. We will stop the snacking. Failure to act is just as bad as indecision. We cannot allow procrastination and laziness to keep us from moving forward in life. If we do we will end up living a life of regret and disappointment and who wants to feel like that? Action goes hand in hand with faith, which is why we need to develop our spiritual muscle so we will have the courage to take the actions necessary to move us into our destinies. Faith without works is dead as it says in the Bible.

So there you have them - 5 keys to moving forward in life. What matters most to you today, friend? Are your goals in line with your current values? Do you want to lose weight? Get out of debt? Declutter your home? Or achieve some other worthy goal? Whatever it is, stay focused, believe you can achieve your goal, and just take the next step in front of you. 

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community and receive my bi-weekly posts, enter your email in the box provided. I'll also send you a copy of my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  Connect with me on Pinterest for exciting ideas on a variety of topics such as cooking, beauty, health, exercise and much more. 

Stay tuned for more on igniting the power within and moving into YOUR destiny!

 Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Handle Your Anger

Emotions are powerful. They can be our friend or our enemy.  Problem is many of us don't know how to process them in a healthy productive way. Today's post is about anger - perhaps the most powerful and dangerous emotion. Take a look around or watch the evening news to see plentiful examples of people who can't manage their anger.

We tend to either externalize or internalize our anger We take out our frustrations on others or on ourselves. We over-react to minor situations, use substances to assuage our feelings, alienate ourselves from loved ones, or my all time favorite - NOT - resort to passive aggressive behavior. In this post, we will discuss the emotion of anger and how to identify if we or someone we know has an unresolved anger issue.

Think about the last time you had a very strong reaction to a situation or a person. To get you started here are a few typical scenarios to consider:

1: You're in driving in the car and someone lays on the horn, tailgates you, or flips you the bird.

2: Your boss yells at you on a Friday afternoon

3: A loved one makes a comment and you fly off the handle.

4: You're at a restaurant and the food is taking forever to arrive. You've lost track of time because you are in deep conversation and realize it's been over 25 minutes.

Anger is a normal human emotion. We feel angry for a reason, but sometimes the reason we are angry is not the reason we think. Emotions are transferable. Many times, we explode at someone when really we are angry at someone else. This is called "transference". Instead of confronting the true source of our anger, we take it out on some other innocent party.

Some signs we are angry are:
1) we raise our voice
2) we have a strong physical reaction
3) over-reacting to small things
4) venting to anyone who will listen
5) engaging in excessive or harmful behaviors
6) feeling disconnected from ourselves or others

When we catch ourselves doing any of the above, chances are there is something going on beneath the surface that needs to be addressed. Often, the current situation gets blown out of proportion and the real problem goes detected. Here's a personal story to give you an example of what I'm talking about.

Many years ago, when my oldest son was still in college, I was in bed reading a book when he walks in on a weekend visit. . A little background here, my son is brilliant. He has what his teachers call a photographic memory. He never really had to study much in high school and aced all his exams with little effort.

"Hey, Ma, how you doing?"

"I'm fine. What's up? You look a little down," I observed.

"Yeah, I didn't do so well on my exam today," my oldest darling replied in a dejected tone.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. Do you think you studied enough?" Hint to parents: wrong thing to say. Better to say "So why might that be?"

"I'm leaving," he announced, slamming the door as he bolted out of the house.

Wow! Wonder why he reacted like that. It was a simple question. Little did I know, but I hit the nail on the head, as they say, and he wasn't ready to accept the truth of the situation. 

Several months later, I found out the real reason for the sudden display of anger. My son had lost his scholarship by not keeping his grades up and paying more attention to his fraternity brothers than to his studies.  A pretty good reason to be mad.

What to do 
Unfortunately, in this busy world of ours, we often lose connection with ourselves and our emotions. Days can go by before we realize we are angry about something. The key is to slow down our lives so that we can stay present with ourselves. I find mornings and evenings before I retire good times to check in with myself. Some questions we can ask ourselves are:

"What am I feeling right now?"
"Am I angry?"
"Who am I angry at?"

Some of us explode at the drop of a hat and others of us, like myself, minimize our feelings. Feelings are messengers. They are not meant to be ignored. They have valuable information to provide. We do ourselves a disservice when we ignore, suppress, or minimize our feelings.

Remember, anger is a signal that there is an issue that needs to be addressed. It is not something to be ignored, denied or ashamed of.  It is also not an excuse to act out. "Be angry, but sin not," it says in scripture.

Do let me know if this post was helpful by leaving  a comment below. If you'd like to receive my bi-weekly posts, enter your email in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Until next time,  keep looking up!

Ariel  Paz

The Dangerous Pull of Strong Emotions

Emotions are powerful. Think of how you feel when someone cuts you off in traffic, you watch a baby being born, or your favorite team wins the game. These emotions can be very strong at times, almost overwhelming. Emotions can be our friends or our enemies. They can motivate us to climb mountains and they can drag us into the pit of despair. Emotions can motivate us to pursue relationships or leave them. What I want to talk about today is how important it is to learn to pause and reflect before acting out of emotion so we can make conscious choices.

I've read that when we get emotional, a different part of our brain (the right hemisphere known as the limbic system) takes over and the more logical left hemisphere stops working. Logic and emotion are two opposing forces. We've all heard the old adage about the head and the heart, right? Which of these do we allow to influence us in our decision-making?

A recent example of out-of-control emotions is the Baltimore riots. People expressed their long-pent-up frustrations and anger in violent and destructive ways. Emotions are contagious, especially negative emotions such as anger and hostility. Another factor is how deeply we experience our emotions.

Some people feel their emotions more strongly than others. I know, because I am one of them. I feel deeply which can be both a good and a bad thing. I have learned, however, that my emotions are something I have control over. I don't have to allow - say allow - them to control my actions. I can take a step back and think. I had a situation recently where I had the opportunity to practice what I'm preaching here.

As you may know, I am a single lady looking for my soul mate. I recently went on a few dates with a new guy we'll call C. We met online and corresponded a few times, then talked on the phone. I decided to give him a chance. Well, he kept trying to kiss me telling me how attracted he was to me, ya da ya da ya da. Now I appreciate the attention, but as they say, flattery will get you nowhere. So I explained to him gently that I prefer to get to know someone better before I go the physical route. I know how physical men are and that's fine, but women are like ovens. They take a while longer to heat up.

Anyway, the point of the story was, being the analytical ex-IT person I am, I was evaluating the different aspects of this person. I have to admit I was tempted to kiss the guy, but I held back. Kissing can form an intimate connection when someone feels as deeply as I do so I don't jump into it lightly these days. After three dates, I became aware of several aspects of this gentleman that I did not think would make for a long-term match and ended the relationship. Point being, I did not allow my emotions to override my logical thinking and was able to make a conscious choice regarding whether to pursue a relationship with this person.

When we allow our strong feelings to control us, we often make decisions and choices we later regret. Emotions can cloud our judgment and cause us to make poor decisions. This applies to business situations as well as personal relationships. Our emotions can control us or we can learn to control them. The key is to recognize what is going on and stop the train before it derails. Sometimes emotions can rise up in us that have nothing to do with the situation at hand. Have you ever exploded at your kids when you got home from a frustrating day at the office? There you go.

Emotional intelligence is understanding both the source and the impact of our emotions.

For Reflection:
1. Ask myself "What am I feeling?"
2. What is causing me to feel this way?
3. Is this what I really want to do?

The next time you feel overcome with strong emotion, take a step back. Ask yourself the above questions before taking action. What do you think of the thoughts presented here today? Love to hear your feedback so please leave a comment below, on Facebook, or Twitter @ArielPaz08.

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz