How to Stay in Peace During Stressful Times

November is a beautiful month. The bushes and trees are all dressed in their fall finery. I love seeing the vibrant hues of red, gold, and green from my windows. When the rays of the morning sun fall on the earth, I am thankful for the glory and beauty God has created. Have you noticed lately?

This is also a very busy season of the year. The stores are gearing up extra early it seems for Christmas. The local transit buses are displaying the "Happy Holidays" sign before Thanksgiving had even arrived.

All this extra activity overloads our senses and lowers our immune systems. Many people come down with colds, allergies, and unexplainable illnesses. On top of it all, most of us have to deal with end-of-year work, medical, and tax-related demands. So what to do?

Start the day on a positive note. 
Despite our to do lists and the pressures of life, if we keep our thoughts on the positives and on God,  we will ward off much stress.  I make a conscious effort to focus on the positives and give thanks each and every morning when I first wake up. My favorite verse is "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118:24) Notice the focus on personal choice - I will. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is a choice we make which sets the tone for our day. It helps us handle the inconveniences and difficulties of the day and to have compassion for the rudeness of people.

Focus on the presence and power of God instead of your problems.
It's easy enough to let our thoughts drift onto our problems. If we're not careful we'll get ourselves into a funk about this or that relationship or issue. I have been making more of an effort to catch myself thinking. I know I have a tendency to ruminate and that is unhealthy. Isaiah 26:3 says " You will keep him/her in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee." In other words, keep your thoughts on God and on his grace and mercy. Some problems are unsolvable in our own strength. If we want to stay in peace, we have to keep our thoughts on the right things. Phil 4:8 says "Think on these things: things that are true, honest, just, pure, noble, lovely and of good report."

Pray about daily needs.
Take today for example. I was walking up the hill carrying, as usual, too many heavy grocery bags. I could have started complaining and whining about the steep hill and the heavy bags -blah blah blah. Do you like listening to complainers? Well God doesn't either.  Look what happened to the Israelites. 

Instead, I prayed for someone to give me a ride up the hill and before I was a third of the way up, a neighbor on the opposite side of the road slowed to ask if I wanted a ride. She made a U turn and pulled up beside me. You can imagine how thankful I was for her! That was God!

"Which entrance would you like to be dropped at?" she asked. Wow, talk about service. She was an angel. The Lord certainly heard and answered my prayer. Now the reason I am sharing this story is to show you how God does hear and answer our prayers. He sees everything we are going through and He hears our cries and petitions but we have to do our part and ask for what we need. We also must  maintain an attitude of gratitude which shows that we trust God to work things out, help us in our times of need, and to make the path clear.

Make time to rest. 
The tendency during busy times is to move quicker, do more, and skip eating right and exercising. This is a setup for the flu bug to attack us come the new year. When we feel the tug of busyness, it is especially important to take good care of ourselves physically and emotionally. It may seem counter-intuitive, but resting frequently will help us not only get through the busy season but do so in
good health and in peace.

Not only do we need physical rest, but mental rest is even more important.  I am implementing daily meditation breaks. I set my phone alarm for 20 minutes and sit myself down on my yoga mat. Close my eyes and just let my mind rest. See my blog posts on how to meditate. I relax my body and let the stress melt away.  Neither our bodies nor our minds were built to run on fast forward.

So, friends, this season, amidst all the hustle and bustle, the irritations and the misfortunes, remember that peace, prayer, and rest are crucial to enjoying this special time.  And remember to be a blessing to someone else!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my free eguide, "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" as well as my weekly posts. Your feedback is always appreciated.

Until next time, stay tuned for more practical and positive wisdom on igniting the power within and discovering YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships

Is there someone in your life that constantly stresses you out? Is hard to get along with? Drains your energy? We all have at least one. These people are our greatest teachers. Today's post is about how and when to let go of a relationship that is stealing your peace and joy.

Now you know I am all for faith, believing the best, and hanging in there when the going gets tough. However, God wants us to live in peace and harmony and sometimes, for whatever reason, peace and harmony are absent. Instead, there is strife, conflict, division, unrest. This is not God's will for his children. Our destiny is to be full of peace and joy so we can be a blessing to others.

People change. What once may have been a great relationship may have gone sour. As we grow, the other person does not always grow with us or at the same pace. We need to recognize when it is time to let go of a relationship. This can be very difficult because we are often emotionally connected to the other person. We try so hard to make the relationship work but at some point we have to realize that although we love them, we cannot continue to be in relationship with them. We have to prioritize our own health and well-being.

But before we decide to go this route, it is important to take a good hard look inside and ask ourselves this question "Have I done everything I can to improve this relationship?" When I was married, it was a very turbulent situation. I read books, went to counseling, and attended Al-Anon. I did everything I could to make the marriage work because I did not want to be a single mom. But my ex refused to change or do anything to help the marriage. His response was "I'm not the first to be divorced and I won't be the last." He refused to take any personal responsibility for his part.

The tendency is to blame the other person, rather than take personal responsibility. It takes guts to admit our faults and it takes effort to change. We have to value the other person enough to do this, but the ego gets in the way. We make excuses, blame, name-call, label, use passive-aggressive behavior and projection rather than learn healthy communication skills. We apologize but then go right back to our old behaviors. Apologies are good, but they are only the first step.

As I say in my book, "The Power of Faith", don't fall for someone's pretty promises. Actions speak louder than words. Wait to see changed behavior before opening your heart to the other person again. When we continue to allow bad behavior we are in effect saying, "It's okay to treat me like this."

Here are some signs it time to let go of someone:
1. constant strife and arguing
2. inability to resolve conflict
3. repeated hurtful patterns of behavior
4. disrespect such as raised voices, being late, betrayal of confidences, gossip
5. taking you for granted, not putting any effort into making the relationship work
6. jealousy, insecurity, immature behavior

It is normal to feel hurt when we are treated this way, but we have to realize it is not about us, it is about them. Letting go can be difficult, especially if we have been in the relationship for a long time, but at some point we have to say "I choose peace and self-respect over this." Read "Love is Letting Go of Fear" for more on this.

If repeated attempts to ask for what you need are not being heard or received, it is time to let go. Sometimes people are not at a place where they can give you what you need. Then it is time to give them space.

Letting go does not have to be permanent. The other person might just need a wake-up call. You've probably heard the phrase "If you love someone, set them free."

Life is too short to live in strife, conflict and disrespect. When we recognize our value we will not tolerate these from anyone. Instead of spending our energy trying to get someone to change, we can use that time and energy to pursue our own goals and dreams.

Perhaps it is time to let go of someone in your life. If we want peace and harmony, we sometimes have to make tough love decisions and if it is God's will, the person will come back to us. In the meantime, enjoy your life and remember to be a blessing to others.

If this post was helpful, do leave a comment. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly positive and practical posts as well as a copy of my eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Until next time, stay tuned for more on igniting the power within and discovering YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

4 Practical Ways to Enjoy Better Relationships

Great relationships don't just happen. Like your golf game, they take a lot of time and effort to improve. Life seems to be rolling along just fine, and suddenly you hit a bump in the road. People mess up. We say hurtful things, betray a trust, overreact, and manipulate to get our needs met. We turn to passive-aggressive behaviors instead of dealing with issues up front. Often, we are clueless how deeply our words and actions affect others. So why do we act like this?

Our ego and insecurities get in the way of healthy and respectful communication which prevents us from enjoying the close relationships we so desire.  It is tough to be on the receiving end of mistreatment but we are called to love another while setting appropriate boundaries.

After enduring many painful experiences, I realized I can't just give up on people. We all have our flaws so I dug into the subject and today I am sharing 4 ways to help us enjoy better relationships.

1. Learn to confront
Confrontation has gotten a bad rap, but when we use the term in regards to relationships, to confront simply means to come face to face. According to psychologists and relationship experts, John Townsend and Henry Cloud, confrontation is a skill we can all learn to preserve relationships by addressing issues with one another. For more on this, check out their book "Boundaries: Face to Face".

Rather than dumping people because our anger or frustration has reached the max, a better way is to confront the issue at hand and give the other person a chance to change their ways.

I once had a very close friend who called me up one day in a tizzy of frustration over something in our friendship. We had hit a bump in the road. I was trying to understand her concerns but she would have none of it. Then she blurts out this hurtful statement: "From now on, we are just acquaintances." I was stunned, shocked, and very hurt. Where was my chance to change? Why hadn't she said anything to me before? People are not mind-readers: not husbands, not boyfriends, and certainly not girlfriends. Unless we take the time to confront the issue, the other person is probably going on about their business clueless. One thing to remember in confronting, is to do it before you blow your stack or sever the relationship. This takes courage, skill, and maturity but it is a skill worth learning.

2. Learn to apologize
When someone confronts us with a problem, we need to be able to offer a sincere apology and offer to make amends. Some people think if they utter a perfunctory "I'm sorry", everything is hunky dory and they are ready to move on. Not quite so fast! The offender must take the time to understand and take responsibility for the pain he or she has caused the other person. They also need to make amends in some way. An apology is only the first step in reconciling the relationship and people receive apologies in different ways. For more on how to apologize, check out this insightful book, "The 5 Languages of Apology" by Gary Chapman.

3. Be willing to change our behavior
When we are confronted with an issue, the ball is our court so to speak. It is up to us to decide:

a) do we want to maintain the relationship and if we do,
b) understand what we have done that has hurt the other person and
c) are we willing to change our behavior and attitudes

This takes putting ourselves in their shoes. It also takes swallowing our pride and admitting our behavior needs to change. Personal story.

I once dated this guy, who was a strong Christian, went to church, read the Bible, the whole nine yards. But he had a jealousy problem. We would argue until the wee hours of the night about situations.

During these heated discussions he would resort to unfair and hurtful tactics such as demanding gifts be returned, name-calling, etc. When I expressed how hurtful his actions were, he would invariably apologize, but it wouldn't be long before we'd be at it again. Finally I had had enough of this behavior and told him so. His response was "What ever happened to forgiveness?"

Talk about the guilt trip. I had forgiven him umpteen times so my response to him was "What ever happened to repentance?" Repentance is the biblical term for changing one's behavior. In order to achieve harmonious and enduring relationships, we need to be willing to deal with our fears and insecurities, so we can clearly see how our behavior is impacting the other party and make the necessary changes. When we truly care about the relationship, we will put loving the other person above our ego and pride.

4. Learn to forgive
Forgiveness is a process that seems to be misunderstood by many. True forgiveness is really a two part process: forgiveness and restoration or reconciliation. Forgiveness means letting go of the need to get back at the other person. It means surrendering our hurt and pain to God, and giving the relationship another chance. Forgiveness is for both our well-being and the well-being of the other person. It frees the offender from the toxicity of shame. The words "I forgive you" can do wonders for the healing.

Restoration or reconciliation cannot occur until the offender has demonstrated changes in his or her behavior. It is folly to continue to allow someone back into our lives, when they have given us no indication that they have changed. This process applies to people with addiction or anger issues as well. Repeated patterns indicate an unwillingness to change for whatever reason. Forgiveness gives the offender a chance to redeem himself and we demonstrate our faith in them to do so.

To summarize, harmonious relationships don't just happen. There will always be bumps in the relationship road, but I hope that these 4 tips have given you some tools to navigate the potholes we inevitably encounter. When we have the courage to confront and the willingness to change and to forgive, we can enjoy the relationships we all desire.

If this post has helped you, please leave a comment. If you'd like to join our community enter your email address in the box provided. In addition to my weekly emails, you'll also receive a copy of my free guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path",

Stay tuned for more on how to enjoy better relationships and until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Move the Mountains in Your Life

You've probably heard the verse that goes "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains". We all have been given a certain amount of faith so most of us probably have enough faith to move the mountains in our lives. My question for you today is "What mountain do you need moved?"

Regardless of what spiritual path you may be following, we all have faith in something and we all have mountains - obstacles - that we would like to see moved. Today, I am going to share a key component to seeing obstacles moved that few of us put to use.

What do you do when there is something standing in your way that is preventing you from moving forward in a certain area of life? Do you pray and get discouraged because you don't see anything happening? Do you throw your hands up in the air in despair and give up? I'm the type of person who wants to give it my all. I have exhausted myself at times trying to make things happen on my own. But I have learned I don't have to "do it all on my own". In fact, there are times when we cannot do it on our own.

Many things keep us from moving forward. It might be a bad habit, an addiction, a financial problem, a job loss, a relationship or health issue.  If you haven't run into something that you can't move on your own yet, rest assured, one day you will and you will be prepared because of this post. I've heard a close relative say many times "There's nothing I can do about it," Oh yes there is.

There is a power, a Source, as some call it that is more than willing to help move the mountains in our lives. When there is an obstacle - a mountain if you will - blocking forward progress and it seems like it is insurmountable, there is a simple but POWERFUL thing we can do as children of God to get God to intervene on our behalf.

Before I tell you what it is, I have to tell you that you need to BELIEVE that this technique will work. If you do not have the FAITH to believe it will work, it won't. But - if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, and you know how small a mustard seed is, you can move your mountain.

The key to moving the mountains in our lives, when everything seems hopeless and we're at wits end, is this: START DECLARING VICTORY. Start speaking out what you want to see happen. Here are a few examples:
- "I declare I am financially successful."
- "I declare I am free from this addiction".
- "I declare my child/marriage/health is going to turn around".
- "I declare I am healed from ...."

In other words, we have to start talking like it has already happened. To put it another way, we need to focus more on what we want to see show up in our lives, rather than our current reality. Now don't you scoff. This is the stuff miracles are made from and I'm letting you in on a powerful technique that many people are simply not aware of. There is supernatural power in our words. When we start speaking out words of faith, health, abundance, healing, and freedom, God intervenes. Faith pleases God and He goes to work on our behalf.

When all seems lost, it isn't. When we begin to affirm what we want to see happen in our lives, we set the stage for transformation. It really is quite miraculous. You can read about the many hopeless situations that God has transformed in my book, "The Power of Faith".

If you found this post helpful, do join our blog community by entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly encouraging posts and a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  While you're at it, tell a friend about my blog and come follow me on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.

In the meantime, stay tuned for more practical, positive, and powerful insights on how to ignite the power within and discover YOUR destiny!

Until next time,

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Have Faith thru the Storms of Life

Do you ever doubt that the sun will come up every morning? Some days it shines brightly and others days it hides behind clouds and rain showers. But the sun is always there regardless of whether we see and feel it or not. It is the same with the presence of God.

Lately it seems the weather can't seem to make up it's mind. This past Thursday for instance, it was sunny and bright most of the day, and then all of the sudden I heard the pitter patter of something outside.

What is that?

I sat up and looked out the window, and noticed it had begun to gently rain. Lo and behold, a beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky. It was like a colorful gift the heavens were displaying for the world to see and I remembered the promise God made to Noah after he sent the great flood to destroy the earth.

"Never again shall I destroy the earth by water,"  God said in Genesis 9:11.

Imagine how Noah must have felt when God told him to build the ark. Until that time, there had never been rain upon the earth. People must have thought he was crazy and scratched their heads in bewildermint. Noah might even have thought the same thing, but he carried out God's instructions in faith and obedience.

Sometimes God asks us to do things we don't understand. We all have our plans and agendas, but do we stop and take time to ask God if we are headed in the right direction? We think we have it all figured out but then God interrupts. It could be a financial loss, a loss of a relationship, a dream, or even an illness. Sometimes God uses the difficult situations in life to get our attention back on Him.

I have learned it is always best to obey that still small voice and do it quickly, even if I don't understand why. I have also learned it is important to check in every step of the way, because sometimes the plan changes very quickly. Recently, I don't even know what the plan is, but still I follow, I trust, and I obey.

"Man makes his plans, but God directs his steps," (Prov. 16:9)

What do you do when the most bizarre or painful things start happening and you don't understand why? Chalk it up to coincidence? Fate? Have you considered it might be God?

No matter what ordeal you may be going through today, rest assured that God knows what He is doing. God is a good God and He works everything, including the painful circumstances in our lives for our good and for His glory. He says he has captured every tear in a cup (Ps. 56:8) and He promises to wash away every tear from our eyes (Rev. 21:4).

Some of us have shed a lot of tears in our lives, but God understands.  I'm sure God grieved when he saw his creation perish before his very eyes and  His only precious Son, die a horrible death on the cross.

What tears have you shed, dear one? Are they tears of sorrow, grief, loss? Be at peace and fear not. God has the plan and his promises are all true. Just as surely as Mother Nature brings new life to earth every spring, so too, God brings new life to us in our seasons. The mighty Resurrection power of Christ is still available to each of us today who put their faith in Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the Lamb of God.

"This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it," (Ps. 118:24) hangs in my office where I can see it every morning to remind me that no matter what my circumstances, I am to rejoice. Even when we don't see the sun, we know that it will shine again another day and the rainbow reminds us that even if we don't see how or when, God's promises are still true today.

Until next time, choose to believe, keep the faith, and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Ignite the Power Within Step 5: What to Do When Life Doesn't Make Sense

Ever feel like you don't understand life? Why good people die? Why tragedies occur?   Why prayers go unanswered? Why we have to suffer? Most of us struggle with these questions.

I'm sure many felt that way on Sept. 11, 2001 when their lives were suddenly turned upside down by the impact of the terrorist bombings in New York, Pennsylvania, & Washington, DC. Loved ones said goodbye to their spouses never to kiss them again. Husbands were killed in the line of duty saving others. The stories are too many to list here, but I'm sure many asked these tough questions.

Perhaps some of you may be like me - I want to know why.  I want to find meaning. Friends tell me I'm a deep thinker and maybe that's true, but it can be frustrating trying to find answers to these tough questions.

Sometimes we go through times we don't understand. I went through a season a few winters ago when everything in my life hit the fan. Ever have that happen to you? We wonder why all these bad things are happening at once. We cry out "Abba, Father, help me", in desperation and in sorrow, and our voice seems to echo in the stillness.

The answer came when I turned to the words of Scripture. Who in the Bible suffered a lot?
Job of course.
So I began to read the book of Job when I came across this verse,
"Shall we accept only good from God and not also adversity and disaster?" (Job:2:10)
It struck me. This is life. Learn to accept it. We will not always understand everything that happens to us.

The reality is suffering and happiness go hand in hand. Life will not always be a bed of roses, nor will it always be trials and tribulations. This is the human experience. Having read much on the topic of suffering, the message from many traditions and belief systems is the same, learn to accept it.

What trial or tragedy are you going through? Have you lost hope? Faith? Joy?

Keep on trusting God. He will make a way where there seems to be no way. He will make your path straight. If we are faithful and obedient, we will arrive at the Promised Land of our dreams although we may not get there the way we expected. And we can be sure there will be suffering along the way.

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help us all find healing, wholeness, health, and harmony!

 Until next time, keep looking up and do write and let me know your thoughts.


Ariel Paz

Understanding Relational Conflict

Relationships can be heaven or hell. Most of them are somewhere in between. Things can be going along swimmingly when out of the blue, we hit a rough patch. It's like when your car hits black ice - you didn't see it coming; you feel fearful and out of control.

Conflict in relationships can make us feel the same way: fearful and out of control. We fear losing something we value often our self-respect or the relationship. We don't know what to do and we often say things we regret in the heat of the moment. Yet, conflict is actually a good thing and today we'll be discussing how and why we hit these potholes.

First, a short story to illustrate.

A just-married couple was at the grocery store buying food for a cookout. The husband wanted the ground beef and the wife wanted the pre-made patties. Gridlock. Why? Because they were experiencing a conflict of values. He valued economy. She valued convenience.

The really difficult relational battles arise over differences in values. Values are deeply-held beliefs that have developed over time and are ingrained in our thinking. We do not change them easily. We can look at the global battles of history to see more extreme examples.The Germans valued blond hair and blue eyes which led to the extermination of millions of innocent people.

The key to resolving conflict is to identify the core values being threatened. This takes patience, self-control, and open communication. Sometimes emotional reactions occur  because someone feels disrespected, unloved, or unheard. An emotional reaction is a flag to let us know we have touched on something deeply personal.

If we can keep our emotions under control, but not deny or repress them, we will able to navigate conflict more calmly and rationally. Emotional outbursts only serve to escalate an already heated situation.

If someone truly cares about you and the relationship, they will make the effort to communicate and be honest with how they are feeling. Authenticity is key to any healthy relationship.

So here to recap are 5 keys to resolving those difficult relationship conflicts:
1. Understand your values
2. Understand the values of the other party
3. Keep your emotions under control
4. Communicate in a respectful way
5. Decide together on a win-win solution

I have found that once people feel heard, understood, and respected, a resolution can be achieved.

If this post was helpful, consider joining our blog community. Enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my weekly posts as well as a copy of my free eguide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay tuned for more positive and practical wisdom to help you find healing, wholeness, health, and harmony!

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz