How to Know When the Holy Spirit is Speaking

What do you know about the Holy Spirit? Do you believe He exists? If so, how do you get the Holy Spirit and why does it matter?                          

Unless you belong to a Pentecostal church, you probably won't hear much teaching on the Holy Spirit. There is a lot of debate about the activities and functions of the Holy Spirit. Many pastors shy away from anything they don't fully understand. Talking about Jesus is one thing, at least he showed up in human form. Talking about a spirit gets into deep water for some people. But we're courageous here so jump in with me.                                  

At a recent church service, the speaker began a message on the importance of the Holy Spirit. I was glued to my seat. It is not often preachers talk on the subject. Sadly, however, the guy sidetracked to a story from his childhood talking about the "spirit of bbq" and his grandmother's cooking. His appetite for food got the better of his message so I decided to pick up where he left off.

Knowledge of the Holy Spirit is extremely important in the life of anyone attempting to live a peaceful and harmonious life. If we are unaware of the forces working within us, we are powerless to combat them and we will be defeated every time.

So today I'm going to share  a personal story  about following our inner promptings. Here's a situation that happened today.

I was peacefully working on my computer, when my cell phone rang. It was my mom.  I hesitated but answered anyway.  She was very irritated and the conversation did not go well.

"Something told me not to answer the phone, " I said to my son after I hung up.
"That was the Holy Spirit," he replied.
"I didn't listen - again." I said.

So that's how it goes. The Holy Spirit was warning me not to pick up the phone. I felt it, but I went ahead and answered the call anyway. How many times have you felt a hesitation but gone ahead and done whatever it was anyway? I had the same feeling walking down the aisle. I ignored it then, too, and the marriage ended in divorce.

God wants to protect us and guide us. When we accept Jesus into our lives, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in us to help us. The choices and decisions in our lives lead us either towards God or away from God. We have free will and it is up to us to choose.

The Jesuits, a branch of the Catholic religion, call these inner promptings "consolations and desolations". Here is an article describing the difference. And another one here.

Following the Holy Spirit requires mindfulness. It requires us to be mindful of the feelings and promptings we get from God in the present moment.  When we slow down enough to be fully present, we are more able to feel these promptings. It is then up to us to heed them or not.

I hope you have enjoyed this post and it has encouraged you in how to tune in to that still small voice that wants to guide and protect you. If you would like to receive my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email address in the box provided.

Until next time, I'll be practicing listening and obeying.
Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz 

The Power of Our Words

Words have great impact. Think of Martin Luther King's speech "I have a dream" or Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. Words can motivate us to action, uplift our spirits, and fill us with hope. The right words at the right time can move mountains and stir us to become better than we are.

Words can also wound and to destroy.  A thoughtless comment can do much damage. Many times, often in a moment of frustration, the wrong words come out before we realize and we inflict an emotional scar on a loved one. Words can wound in an instant, but it may take years for the wounds to heal.

What We Say to Our Kids
A parent's words are critical to the healthy self-esteem of a child. A child's perception of themselves is formed by what they are told about themselves, regardless of whether they are true or not.  Parents, teachers, siblings - all can impact a young child. I remember being told "You're too sensitive" hence I grew up ignoring and suppressing my feelings. I learned to overlook hurtful and abusive behaviors, because I believed the lie that I was "too sensitive". Today, I listen to my feelings and emotions. They are God-given and I need to respect them. We also need to pay attention to what we are saying to ourselves and others.

What We Say to Ourselves
Are we honoring and respecting ourselves? Or are we saying things like "I'm too fat, too dumb, too old, too lazy, too whatever." What we say about ourselves comes true. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Turn it around. Start saying positive things about yourself. We get enough negativity from the media, the magazines and other people. We need to be our own cheer-leaders.

What We Say to Others 
Are we honoring and respecting others or are we making "jokes" at their expense? Sarcasm is very common today as a form of humor, but Oswald Chambers, the great theologian, said this: "Sarcasm is the weak man's weapon." 

Are our words "seasoned with salt", pleasing to the ear, and uplifting to the hearer? Or are they critical, judgmental and harsh? If so, it may be time to make a change. Anthony Robbins talks about this in his book "Awaken the Giant Within". He talks about how we can change the impact of negative words by changing the words we use and increase the positive power of words in the same way.

Be Kind
My mom has a phrase I'm sure you've heard. "You can get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." Kind words are easy to digest. They go down like a spoon full of sugar, as Mary Poppins would say. There is a difference between kind words and flattery. Flattery is fake. Kind words are genuine. Kindness is a fruit of the spirit. Here are 3 criteria we can use to measure our words:

1) Is it kind?
2) Is it necessary?
3) Is it truthful?

If the answer to these is NO, it may be best to remain silent.

I hope this post has encouraged you. We all can be more cognizant of the words that come out of our mouths. Every day is a gift and an opportunity to practice so forgive yourself for yesterday and resolve to do better today.

If you'd like a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path" enter your email address in the box provided.

Until next time, be kind to yourself and others, and keep looking up!

Ariel 

Believe What You See - How to Spot the Red Flags

Single? Lonely? Looking for Mr. Wonderful? Holding on to Mr. Right Now? Too many times when we meet someone we see them through rose-colored glasses, and ignore the red flags. Why? Because we are lonely, bored, tired of waiting, and isolated. Or we are in a relationship, and we know in our head this person is not right for us, but we stay in it anyway, because we are emotionally involved.

Recently, I spoke with two single gals who are in a predicament, shall we say. They are stuck in unhealthy relationships hoping things will change. The years are going by and nothing has changed and both these gals are making excuses to stay. Now I totally understand because I've done this very thing and listening to their stories reminded me of how difficult it is to extricate oneself from emotional ties.

Today's post is dedicated to helping you:
a) spot the red flags early on so
b) you don't get emotionally entangled with the wrong guy.

Several years ago, I met a guy online on a supposedly Christian dating site. When I read this guy's profile, my heart was aflutter. He sounded like my perfect match - on paper that is. All the externals I was looking for seemed to be in place - good job, owned his own home, attends church, willing to learn how to dance etc etc. Well. After two years of a conflicted spirit, late night "disagreements" and much heartache, the light bulb finally went on and I put all the pieces together. The guy was lying to me about who he really was. The signs of jealousy, immaturity, and insecurity had been there all along, I simply chose to minimize them. I made excuses and rationalized his behavior. All because I was approaching a milestone birthday and I had set my mind of being engaged by that time.

Lesson #1: my timetable is not always God's timetable.

Lesson #2: Listen to my spirit.

Anyway, fast forward several years. I was still single so decided to give online dating another try. Another guy contacts me wanting to get together for dinner.

"Here we go again. They think wining and dining me is going to do the trick." This time I was determined to keep my eyes open and my heart protected.

Don't ask me what I was thinking. The guy had posted photos of his red Porsche, his motorcycle, his flowers, and his dog. Nothing against any of these, but I kind of felt like there were conflicting messages being sent. Now I always give people the benefit of the doubt, so I went out with the guy. The Porsche and the motorcycle were signs that screamed one word - FAST! He wanted to move quickly in more ways than one. By the grace of God, it only took me 3 dates to figure out the truth and am so glad I did not let myself get emotionally or physically involved with the guy. I chalk the whole experience up to a re-test and I think I passed with at least a "B". Maybe a B+.

Bottom line of these stories is this. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Don't allow the wining and dining, the flowers, the jewelry or the romance to blind you or override your good sense. If you're not sure what to do, get counseling or talk to some wise friends who are courageous enough to give you an objective perspective. If we want to avoid unnecessary hurt and pain and stay out of wrong relationships, it would do us well to face the reality of who people are before getting physically and emotionally involved with them. Take your time evaluating the person. Three dates seems like a reasonable amount of time.

If any of my story resonates with you or if you have helpful tips you'd like to share, please leave a comment below. Love to hear back from you.

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

How to Make Miracles Happen

Funny how even the most mundane situations in life can speak truth to us, isn't it?

This summer, there have been several home repairs and improvements that needed to be taken care of at my house. Being the industrious soul that I am, I endeavored to handle them on my own.

Well. Live and learn. Get help.

This past week, my youngest graciously agreed to assist with my latest adventure - hanging cellular blinds in my office. Now I don't know if you've ever attempted this or not, but let me say, having the right drill bit saves a lot of sweat and hard work. Who knew drywall could be so difficult to screw into?

The instructions that came with the blinds weren't exactly clear either. To make matters worse, when I attempted to try to hang one of the blinds by myself, the whole thing came crashing down and I almost ended up with a broken hand.

After several trips to Home Depot to buy drill bits, we finally had the proper tools. Amazing how much easier it was to get those screws in the wall! But still no success in getting the blinds to stay up. As they fell down time and time again, I watched my son's quick reflex enable him to deftly catch them. Suddenly, I found the whole situation extremely hilarious.

"I'm glad you think this is funny. You try it," he says to me. So up on the desk I climb. Bewildered as to where the thing was actually supposed to hook into, we both stood there and stared at it.

"Get down, I know what to do," he says.

Within minutes, both blinds were up and working perfectly.

"Funny how when you do it right, miracles happen", he says.

I was struck by the truth of that statement; that applies to life, as well. When we do things the right way, miracles happen. Too bad it takes so many attempts to get it right though, isn't it?

Moral of the story, whatever it is you're facing, keep persevering. Keep doing the right thing and sooner or later, you will see a miracle too!

Until next time, keep the faith and keep looking up. And oh, watch out for those blinds!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned and until next time, make miracles!

Ariel Paz 

How to Be a Better Communicator

Have trouble communicating with others? Are you shy and introverted or gregarious and extroverted? Good communication is an art and a practice. It is a critical component in healthy long-term relationships. The way we communicate with others can make or break a relationship. People have different styles of speaking. Some, like my Mom, like to chit chat about what ever is going on in their day, others like to discuss sports or the latest news event, while others prefer to discuss deeper topics that stimulate thought and reflection. All of these are perfectly fine, depending on the circumstances. The key is to recognize what style we use and be aware of how to connect with people who have a different style than our own.

Today I am sharing the 7 types of communication styles I have encountered. There are probably more, but these are the ones I have noticed. Perhaps you recognize yourself in one or more of them as I do. Sometimes we are not even be aware of our communication style and wonder why we have difficulties in connecting with others.

But first, what actually is good communication? Is it simply idle chatter or is there more to it? Good communication is uplifting and edifying to the hearer. Words are spoken gently rather than harshly so that our words are soothing rather than abrasive to the listener. It is not only the words we speak, but how we say them.

Good communication is a two-way street. There is a healthy give and take between speakers. One person does not monopolize the conversation for long periods of time - that is called a monologue. In order to foster intimacy and connection, we need to be willing to share our inner thoughts and feelings with safe people.

Three questions we can ask ourselves before we open our mouths are these:
1) Is it kind?
2) Is it encouraging?
3) Is it necessary?

If what we are going to say does not pass this litmus test, it may be best to remain silent. Listening is a gift we give to others. I used to tell my sons we need to listen more than we speak and that is why God gave us two ears and one mouth.

Today we'll take a look at some different styles of communication. Not everyone has the same style of communication and it is important to realize this in any relationship if it is to flourish. The more aware we are of our own communication styles, the more selective we will become in choosing friends and partners in life. It is not a matter of one style being better than the other. It is a matter of the two styles meshing together harmoniously. Most of us use a mixture of several styles and sometimes we may need to modify our style to foster better connection.

1. The self-conscious speaker:
This type of person shares slowly and very little. They speak in short sentences and are usually the quiet ones in any group. They need to be made comfortable and then coaxed to come out of their shell. Once a certain level of trust is achieved, they will slowly share more. They need to be encouraged when they do speak.

2. The small talk speaker :
These people love to spend hours on the phone just talking about their day, their dog, the weather, the latest sitcom. These people like to "shoot the breeze" as it's called. They value talking for the sake of talking.

3. The negative speaker:
These folks come in different flavors but the commonality is their conversation is negative. They also focus on negative events as a source of discussion. They complain often. They bemoan their lot in life on a regular basis. These conversations are unhealthy and unproductive and they do not foster healthy relationships. Negative speakers have a negative world-view and unless you are one of them, you may not enjoy a relationship with one.

4. The goal-oriented speaker:
These folks call with a purpose in mind. They have a request, or a question that needs answering. They consider small talk a waste of time. Their conversations tend to be direct and to the point. They need to understand others are not all like this and balance their conversations with some personal connecting.

5. The self-absorbed speaker:
These people are similar to those in #2. The difference being they only talk about themselves and what's going on in their lives. They rarely, if ever, ask you about your day, how you are feeling, or give you time to share something from your day. If they do, they are usually not paying attention to your response and move on to their next sentence without a validating response to what you have said. These are the people that go on and on and you can't get a word in edge-wise. They need to take a breather and learn to listen more and give feedback on what the other person has shared.

6. The withholding speaker:
This person is on the secretive side. He/she shares, but only partially. If you are around this person long enough, you will begin to realize information is not being shared in a timely manner or you will hear the "news" from other people before you hear it from them. They do not realize that withholding information is harmful to the relationship especially if the other person is sharing personal information and they are not.

7. The deep thinkers:
I've been told I fall into this category. I much prefer to talk about deeper subjects rather than mundane ones. I like to get to know a person's innermost thoughts and beliefs and understand the why of things. Deep thinkers tend to see connections where other people don't. These types of speakers need to seek out other deep thinkers. They will be on the same wave-length and feel less irritated by people whose communication style has less depth.

One more tip for good communicating is to utilize pauses. After you finish a few sentences, take a breath. Wait and count to three and allow the other person to respond. If you are on the listening end, pause and count to three before you start talking to make sure the other person has finished what they wanted to say. This will help to ensure a smooth and balanced flow to the conversation.

For Reflection 
Have you identified your communication style in any of the above? What changes can you make to improve your conversations? Would love to hear your feedback on this topic so please leave a comment. 

If you enjoyed this post, do join our community be entering your email address in the box provided. You'll receive weekly positive thoughts as well as my free eguide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Stay well and 

Until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

3 Steps to More Peace During Painful Times

People today are struggling with the challenges, surprises, and painful situations in life. What is it that is challenging you today or causing you pain? Is it a financial situation? A relationship issue? A child? Your job? Or perhaps a health issue? What if it's all of the above?

How do we cope? Some resort to alcohol, drugs, food, illicit relationships, or workaholism to name a few. These are all ways of distancing ourselves from the pain and the issue. They are both unhealthy and destructive. These feed the flesh, soothe us temporarily, yet do nothing to address the real issues of life. They keep us stuck in the same pothole.

As odd as it may seem, trials are actually good for us. We lift weights and run longer distances to strengthen our physical endurance. In the same way, life presents us with trials and tribulations to give us opportunities to strengthen our emotional and spiritual endurance.
"Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, when you face various kinds of trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (James 1:2)

I am going through something right now at work with my boss. Seems we have a difference of perspective on how to handle situations. Challenging? You bet. Stressful - of course. But I have learned not to waste the pain.

Remember the old saying "No pain, no gain". I believe it is true. In order to grow in our faith and our character, when we experience trials it is important to find out what the lesson is we are supposed to learn. Yes, we cry out to God and shake our fist at the seeming injustice. But fret not, the Lord promises us that He will avenge us and encourages us to trust Him to take care of any injustice done to us(Romans 12:19).

So how to cope in a healthier way?

1. Take a step back and wait for the emotions to settle down.
I give myself a few days to pray about the situation and ask the Lord two questions: "Lord, what am I supposed to be learning from this?" and "How am I to deal with this?" I read the Word and wait for God to answer. He always does. It is truly amazing how faithful God is when we seek to do the right thing. Just yesterday I received the same direction from two different sources to "love my enemy". The more I prayed, the more revelation I received about the situation. After taking it to the Lord in prayer,

2. Take action.
I am a firm believer in clearing the air, and yes, it does take courage to confront. I have also learned it is much better to confront than to sweep things under the rug, because sooner or later the issue will resurface and need to be dealt with again. Clearing the air and reaching an understanding prevents bitterness, anger and resentment from building up inside, which is never a good thing. When negative feelings build up, eventually the relationship with disintegrate and cause even more pain.

3. Surrender it to God.
We can only do so much. It is important to differentiate between what is our responsibility and what belongs to others to deal with. Once we have done our part, the best thing to do is to give it to God. We may not receive the response we desire, but God is still working on people even if we don't see any evidence of it. Not everyone is at a maturity level to be able to handle confrontation. Some people would rather end the relationship than work through difficult emotions and again, this is out of our control. It means this person is no longer meant to be in our lives at this season.

So, dear friends, the next time you are going through a rough patch, don't waste the pain. Learn from the it and grow. If you'd like a copy of my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path", enter your email in the box provided and as always, remember to keep looking up!

Ariel 

Korean Seaweed Soup with Mussels

Nothing is better than a hot pot of homemade soup on a cold winter day. Today I made Korean Seaweed Soup with mussels. Seaweed is packed with nutrition and is great for new mothers. It is quick and super easy to make, just be sure you buy fresh mussels and clean them well.

Step One: Assemble ingredients.

1 tbsp. Sesame oil
1 tbsp. Soy sauce (I use low-sodium)
1 pack of fresh mussels
1 package of dried seaweed
1 12 oz container organic low-sodium chicken broth
water
2 tsps. minced garlic

Step Two: Clean the mussels.
Here's how.
Video of how to clean mussels:

Step Three: Rinse and Soak the seaweed.
Break the dried seaweed into small pieces and put in a bowl to soak with cold water. The seaweed will expand a lot. Rinse and drain several times.


Step Four: Saute the garlic and the seaweed
Drain the seaweed. In a dutch pot, saute the minced garlic in a small amount of sesame oil and soy sauce. Add the drained seaweed and enough water to cover. Bring to low boil.

Step Five: Add chicken broth.
I use low-sodium, no msg organic chicken broth.
Continue to slow boil.

Step Six. Taste.
Taste the broth before adding the mussels. Add additional soy sauce if needed.

Step Seven: Add the mussels

Cover the pot. After 3 - 5 minutes, check the mussels. If any of them have not opened, discard them as they were not alive.

Serve with rice or by itself. Enjoy!

If you liked this recipe, visit my Pinterest board for more delicious recipes.
If you'd like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided to receive my bi-weekly posts and a copy of my free eguide " 7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". .

Until next time, eat healthy and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz