Ignite the Power Within Step 4: How to Enjoy Life While Waiting on Your Dreams

We all have goals and dreams we want to see come true, situations or people we want to see change. Sometimes, they take longer than we'd like to materialize. In this month's Ignite the Power Within series, we're talking about making our dreams a reality by never giving up. But what to do in the meantime while we're waiting?  Today, I'm sharing 3 techniques to not only make the waiting easier, but to keep you full of  joy in the meantime.

So, what is it that you have been waiting for? A boyfriend or girlfriend?  A new job?  A baby perhaps? Maybe you're waiting for your business to take off, to get that promotion you've covetted or to finally retire from the whole grind. Most people are waiting for something. Life has seasons of waiting and sometimes they can be pretty long. As I explained to my youngest, who has been job hunting for several months, waiting is a big part of life. The key to not giving up is to learn how to wait.

Over the years, I have learned there are a few techniques that help during my periods of waiting so here there are:

1. Wait in EXPECTANCY.
In other words, we need to have faith  and  believe that what we are waiting for is going to come our way.  This attitude is a requirement to receiving. If I doubt, I slow down or pretty much cancel the flow of good things into my life.

2. Learn to SURRENDER
Secondly, and I know this might seem counter-intuitive, but it is true, I must surrender or let go of the desire for whatever it is I am waiting for. When we want something we tend to think or talk about it constantly. This is known as obsessing and is NOT conducive to receiving because we have made whatever it is an idol. 

For example, if I am waiting for a boyfriend, let's say. And every time I go out, I size up every male that walks by and worry about how I look. This behavior falls into the obsessing category. I know many women who do this. Their entire conversation consists of talking about this or that guy. By surrendering my desires, I am saying, in effect, "Lord, I trust that you know what is best for me. I trust you to bring good things into my life in Your perfect timing and I will be content in the meantime and happy with what I have in my life today."

3. Live to SERVE. 
 I can't just sit back and bemoan my state. No one likes complainers or whiners, not even God, as evidenced by the Israelites who never made it to the Promised Land because of their griping. We have to get out there and do something of service to help other people. To paraphrase Christian author and speaker Zig Ziglar, "If you help enough people get what they want, God will make sure you get what you want".  This is a philosophy I adhere to and one of the reasons I write this blog.

I hope these techniques give you some ideas on how to enjoy your life while you wait and work on your dreams. Write and share with me what you are waiting for and what you are doing while you are waiting.

If you'd like to join our community enter your email address in the box provided. You'll receive my bi-weekly posts and also a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".  

Stay tuned for more practical advice on making your life the one you dream of.

In the meantime, keep looking up!

Ariel 

Ignite the Power Within Step 4: Does Your Life Need an Alignment?

Ever notice your car veering off to one side of the road?  Even though you want to go straight, your car is pulling in another direction. This usually indicates your car is in need of a front-end alignment.

In a similar way, life can get out of alignment. Other people, too many activities and even our own thoughts can be distractions and cause us to veer off course. If we want to stay on track and see our goals and dreams come true, every area of our life needs to be working together. What I think, say, and do all need to be congruent; that is, in alignment. Here are three keys to getting back on track.

1. Pay attention to frustration and overwhelm
There are  many things that vie for our time and energy. People and activities pull us in different directions and it is very easy to get side-tracked from where we really want to go or who we want to be in life. Frustration can be a signal to us that we are "off-course". We want to lose weight but we neglect going to the gym. We want to have a deeper relationships but we don't make time for them. Result? Frustration.

Feeling overwhelmed can also be a sign we are off-course. It means we have taken on too much and we probably aren't focusing on what really matters to us. Life is all about choices and we only have 24 hours in a day, so it's up to us to choose how to use those 24 hours.

When I find myself feeling frustrated or overwhelmed, I know it is time to for a "front-end" alignment; time to check and see if my habits, choices, and activities all line up with my goals and values.

2. Keep my actions in sync with my goals 
For example, if we want to lose weight, and then say "I'll start my diet next week" and next week gets pushed into the week after and so on.  If one area is out of balance, our direction will be skewed. Say I want to get my financial house in order, but I continue to spend more than I should on impulsive purchases.  My actions are not in alignment with what I say I want - to get my finances under control. Or maybe I desire a deeper relationship with a loved one, but I work late every night of the week - not congruent.

3. Check in with God 
In the same way, if we want God's best for our lives, it is important to check in with Him on a regular basis. This is why Faith is so important. Faith believes that God is guiding me and that when I spend time with Him, He will show me what's really important, what needs to go, and what changes I need to make. We need to make time for solitude so we can hear that still small voice that is guiding us. Then it's up to me to cooperate and take action.

So, friends, is it time for a "front-end alignment" in your life? Have you veered off course from what truly matters to you? If so, it's not to late to get back on track.

If you enjoyed this post, please click on the +1 icon and leave a comment. If you'd like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my bi-weekly posts. I'll also send you a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more on staying on this topic and  and until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel 

Ignite the Power Within Step 4: 5 Strategies for Conquering Setbacks

Are you going through a tough time? Adversity strikes us all, often when we least expect it. On the way to seeing our goals and dreams come true, there are setbacks along the way. I like to think of these as potholes in the road of life. They come in different forms: relationship breakups, job loss, and health issues to name a few. They jolt us out of our complacency and sometimes side-track us for awhile. Although most of us would probably prefer a smoother life, I believe the reality is that problems are part and parcel of our personal growth journey and that they really are gifts in disguise. So what to do to when we hit a pothole in life?

1.  Realize life was not meant to be easy.
If that was the case, what would be the point? Sit on a beach somewhere and drink margaritas day in and day out? Spend our lives partying? What would we learn? How would we grow? Would we be motivated to help others? I think not. The pains we experience in life are, as author Rick Warren says in his book, "The Purpose-Driven Life" delivered to us for a purpose.

Take Jesus' life, for example. Talk about suffering. He reminded us that  "In this life you will have trials, but take heart, for I have overcome." (John 16:33). Life was not a bed of roses for him because he had a great destiny to fulfill and so do we.

2. Learn to surrender to what is.
 Accept the fact that we don't always understand why things happen in our lives: an illness strikes, we lose our job, a friend or loved one betrays us. An old friend of mine has a saying "It is what it is". In other words, accept things the way they are.

Now I'm not saying don't do anything to try and change a situation, but some situations are not within our control to change. We can't change other people. We can't change the events of life, but we can change ourselves and how we respond to these. We each have been dealt a hand for a reason, probably only known by God, and we have to live out our lives the best we can so we can be reasonably happy.

3. Choose how to respond to adversity.
When we complain and bemoan about the trials of life, this only magnifies them and makes us more miserable. We ruminate at night about the what ifs and how we are going to handle a situation. We become fearful and irritable.  We expend just as much, if not more energy, being anxious and fretful. This energy could be channeled into positive solutions. The way we choose to respond to adversity is paramount to overcoming life's challenges.

4. Cultivate a positive attitude.
Uncertainty, loss, and overwhelm can make us fearful, but we don't have to let fear overtake us. What we believe about ourselves and, more importantly, what we believe about the existence of a loving and all-powerful God have a lot to do with how we manage the challenges that come at us.

As a single parent who went through an ugly divorce, I faced overwhelm, loss, and uncertainty quite often. I chose to look through the lens of faith rather than fear. Faith pleases God and He will step into our situation when trust Him to work out our problems.

5. Look for the lesson.
Trials are stepping stones to our destiny and I believe every trial has a lesson for us to learn. It is up to us to find that lesson because this is the blessing. Difficult circumstances are meant to refine us, purify us, and make us more like God. When we learn the lesson before us and make the appropriate changes, we propel ourselves to the next level.

Sometimes it takes us a while to figure out what the lesson is. I've noticed that God often presents the same lesson in multiple areas of my life at the same time. It's like "She's not getting it. Let me give it to her over here." As an ex-teacher I can understand this. Here's a quick personal story.

In the late seventies, during the disco era, I was teaching hustle to a class of thirty some adults. I noticed most of the couples grasped the step I was showing them, but a few of them were struggling. As I gave them personal attention, it dawned on me that not everyone learns in the same way, so I explained the step using different terms until there was the "Aha!" moment every teacher lives for.

In the same way, our souls have lessons to learn. This is part of the healing from the wounds of the past. Our parents try to teach us some things. We can learn from them, but they can only teach us what they know. We do ourselves a disservice if we rebel against what they try to teach us but rest assured, God will continue the process throughout our lives.

If we want more peace and harmony during the tough times, it is important to:
1) realize life is not easy
2) surrender to what is
3) choose how to respond to the adversity 
4) have faith 
5) look for the lesson

When we realize trials have purpose, it makes them easier to get through.

If this post was encouraging, leave a comment here or on Facebook.I value your feedback.

If you'd like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my bi-weekly posts. You'll also receive a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more on igniting the power within and discovering YOUR destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

Ignite the Power Within Step 4: What to Do When You Feel Like Quitting

Ever feel like giving up? Tired of fighting the battles of life? We all feel this way from time to time, especially when we think we're doing the right thing, but we're not seeing any results. If we're going to see our dreams come true, we have to be push-thru kind of people. No matter what we're facing, there is always someone who has it tougher.

Think you have it rough? Well, how would you like to be born without limbs?

While down in Jacksonville, Florida this past week, I happened to be on the beach where the Never Quit Beach Challenge was taking place. Thousands of competitors wearing shirts with the motto "Never Quit" filled the beach. There were swimmers, surfers, and runners. The marines wore shirts that said "Pain is weakness leaving the body". Young girls 5 - 6 yrs old were doing chin presses on the bar. Parachute jumpers decorated the sky. It was quite a sight to behold.

Then I heard the opening prayer by a man named Nick Vujicic. He praised my lord and savior, Jesus Christ, right there in public amidst thousands of people. "Who is this guy?" I asked as I tried to hold back the tears welling up in me.

Nick Vujicic is an australian born in 1982 in Brisbane, Australia - with no arms or legs. Today he is a college graduate with two degrees, an author, a CEO, and a motivational speaker. He was also a participant in the three part race.

Now how's that for faith and inspiration? Check out this website for more info on the race and it's origins. The whole event certainly inspired me. So next time you think you're having a hard time, think of Nick Vujicic and remember his motto and mine - Never give up!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided and you'll receive my bi-weekly posts. I'll also send you out a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Stay tuned for more on how to stay in the game of life and see your dreams become reality.

Until next time, keep the faith and keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Dance

Do you hate getting lost? I do. It doesn't happen often but when it does, I know I'm in for a test. It seems like it happens when I'm in a hurry to get someplace. You know the feeling, I'm sure. Life's frustrations can cause us to lose our peace and get angry, but today we'll talk about how to let go of anger and frustration before they steal our joy and ruin our day.

It was a Friday night and my son, Jon, and I were out celebrating his 30th birthday. We had just finished a lovely meal at a Spanish restaurant in Houston and were headed to a dance studio to take a salsa lesson at 9 pm. We had less than 30 minutes to get there. On the way to the car after dinner, I started to get excited about the evening. It would be the first dance lesson my son has had and perhaps I was more excited than he. I had found a coupon for free entry if we arrived before 9:30.

"This is going to be so much fun!" I exclaimed as I settled into his new Nissan with the homemade birthday cake on my lap.

Now, Houston is not exactly the easiest place to get around. The city is huge and so are the highways. Jon plugged in the address of the studio into his trusty GPS and waited. And waited. And waited. No response.

"I know where this place is," he announced and pulled out of the parking spot.

"We're looking for 59 north," he said.

As we headed out of the city, it seemed we were going into nowhereland.

"I don't see any signs for 59 north," I said. After circling the side roads, we eventually hit a dead end. Jon's tone was becoming firmer and the tension in the air was getting thicker by the minute.

"Doesn't look like we're going to make the lesson, so we might as well go home," he announced. It was like someone stuck a pin in my balloon of anticipation and excitement.

"Ok, if that's what you want to do," I surrendered.

Then Jon says: "I think the enemy is trying to get us into a fight to ruin the evening. But he's not going to get his way. Forget this GPS. I think I know how to get us there," Jon stated with a renewed sense of determination. My hopes started to rise again as he found the way to a highway.

It was 9:20 when we pulled into the parking lot of the studio.

"Let's take a few breaths," Jon said and we both sat in silence for a few minutes collecting ourselves.

Peace must be fought for.

We knew we had avoided a close call and we both accepted that fact that we had missed the lesson.

"At least we made it in time to get in free," I offered.

We stepped into the studio. The place was hopping with activity.

"I guess the lesson is over," I said to the gal checking us in at the door.

"No, as a matter of fact, it is going to start in 5 minutes."

Jon and I looked at each other in amazement. We both knew what had happened.

"That's God's favor," Jon says quietly. "Because we didn't get into an argument in the car,".

I was grateful for both the unexpected blessing of the dance lesson and for the fact that Jon was so wise to have learned this lesson so young. It had taken me years to realize this.

So, next time you find yourself in a tense situation that is out of your control, remember to defuse it by surrendering. When we choose peace instead of conflict, we not only save our energy and our spirits, but God smiles upon us with favor.

If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive my bi-weekly posts, enter your email in the box provided and I'll send you a copy of my free e-guide "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Love to hear your feedback on your latest adventure and until next time, keep looking up!

Ariel

Ignite the Power Within Step 2: How to Make Better Choices

Life is all about choices, isn't it? Every day we make dozens of choices, some conscious and some not. We make a choice about what time to get up in the morning. What to have for breakfast. What to wear to work. Some choices are automatic and others we have to think about. The great news is we can make new and different choices each and every day. You can transform your life by changing the choices you make and it all starts with changing how you think.

Now this concept is not new. In fact, 2000 or so years ago, the Apostle Paul encouraged us to "Be transformed daily by the renewing of our minds" (Romans 12:2). What we read, watch, listen to and who we hang around all program our minds without us realizing it. Funny story.

Years ago, when I worked for the state government, there was a lovely coworker who had the habit of making a "Tsk tsk" kind of sound with her mouth. Believe it or not, after several months of being around her, I, too, started making this same sound. People influence us. Television influences us. Magazines and photos are a strong influence. Music influences us. We have to be mindful of what is influencing our minds.

Our thoughts are extremely powerful.We have the ability to change our lives by simply changing our thoughts.  They can motivate and encourage us or they can cause us to be depressed and down. Norman Vincent Peale said when we change our thoughts, we change our world. What we think about and dwell on, is eventually what will manifest itself in our lives.

Just because an ad on television features a mouth-watering pizza or cheeseburger, doesn't mean we have to pick up the phone and order a delivery. Just because someone brings in donuts at the office or has a candy dish on their desk, does not mean we have to indulge. It's not only outside messages we have to watch out for, we also need to be aware of the messages we are sending ourselves.

For example, instead of saying to yourself, "I'm too lazy to exercise" start reprogramming your mind by saying "I am self-controlled and disciplined.  I will exercise today because I value my health and my body and I want to keep it in good shape." Instead of saying "I don't have any will power ," say "I am powerful and I can control what I eat, drink, say, think etc". Our beliefs impact our thoughts which in turn impact our actions. You are more powerful than you realize. Give yourself more credit.

You have the ability to recreate yourself every day. Reality starts in our minds every morning when we get up. Many years ago, I memorized a verse of scripture to start my day off on a positive note:

"This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." (Ps. 118: 24).

No matter whether the sun is out or not, how well I slept the night before, or what I need to deal with that day,  I make a conscious decision to put on an attitude of gratitude and joy.  Our day will go better when we set a positive tone first thing in the morning.

Step 2 to Igniting the Power Within asks us to take control of our thoughts. We are to think on things that are true, noble, and of good report. In other words, focus on the positive. Dwelling on negative thoughts like what someone said or did to us or a mistake we made, keeps us stuck in yesterday, drains our energy from today, and leads us into a downward spiral of inertia that sidetracks us from our destiny.

Here's an exercise to help you gain more control of your thoughts. For 5 or 10 minutes a day, stop and observe what you are thinking about. If you can sit down and close your eyes all the better. You may be surprised where your mind has wandered. Then take a few minutes to totally clear your mind of any thoughts. Pay attention to your breath.  Lastly, replace any negative thoughts with good, positive, energizing thoughts. Give it a try and see how much better you feel!

If you enjoyed this post and would like to join our community, enter your email address in the box provided. In addition to my bi-weekly posts, you'll also recieve a copy of my free e-guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path".

Until next time, stay tuned for more on igniting the power within and discovering your destiny!

Keep looking up!

Ariel Paz

11 Signs You May Be in an Unhealthy Relationship

Remember the last time someone blew up at you? Hung up on you? Lost their temper out of the blue? Said something that really hurt you?  How about finding out someone is not who you thought they were? You could be dealing with an unsafe person.

So how do we spot unsafe people? Here is a list of some, but not all, of the signs to help us identify the unsafe people in our lives. 

1. Wears a fake smile
2. Is moody much of the time and goes for long periods of disconnection
3. Doesn't reciprocate your friendship, return calls, extend invitations, etc.
4. Only comes to you when they need you
5. Gets defensive when confronted
6. Focuses on the negative
7. Gossips
8. Condemns and judges rather than forgives
9. Is unreliable
10. Is self-absorbed
11. Denies the impact of their behavior on you and others 

A sure sign you've touched on a problem in the relationship is #5 - he or she gets defensive when confronted. Here's a personal story.

I called a friend who had been in a lot of physical pain to see how she was doing. During the conversation, she made what I'll call "one of her comments". You know the kind - the stabbing but subtle so you're not really sure how to take it kind of comment That day, I decided it was time to say something to her.  One never knows how the other person is going to react, but I was prepared. As I held the phone away from my ear, she went on and on and finally hung up. Red flag! Now this woman appeared to be meek, soft-spoken and kind so I was quite surprised at her reaction. She never called back to apologize. This is an example of an unsafe person.

Safe people care about your feelings. They don't minimize them. They take responsibility for their actions. Not only do they apologize sincerely, they make an effort to change their behavior. Everyone has their sensitivities and if we value the relationship we will put forth the effort.

Unsafe people are inauthentic and spiritually immature. They are not comfortable in who they are so they pretend to be someone they are not. They react rather than respond. They break off relationships rather than set boundaries and deal with differences.  They cannot handle confrontation without getting defensive. Confrontation takes courage and energy. It is a way of preserving and improving the relationship when handled correctly.

If you are in an unhealthy relationship, you will often feel uncomfortable. Pay attention to your feelings. They are trying to tell you something. They are warning you that something is not quite right. It is only a matter of time before the true person emerges. Sadly, many people have pretended for so long, they are good at hiding behind a mask. It takes time to see the real person. Often we have developed an emotional attachment to the other person or we so want to be in relationship, our neediness prevents us from seeing and dealing with the problem. No relationship is worth losing your self-respect over. 

A more healthy and safe response from my friend would have sounded something like this. "Gee, I am sorry I said that. I didn't mean to offend you. I will be more careful in the future to not say/do things like that." See the difference? A safe person CARES about your feelings and their impact on you. This person has taken ownership of their actions. They do not judge, blame, or defend themselves. They can accept criticism however it is delivered. Safe people care about maintaining a healthy and authentic relationship.

It is important to realize that we all have areas where we can come up higher and behaviors that are unsafe which emerge from time to time.  Proverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." We are meant to be in community, not live isolated lives. We must also be willing and able to handle confrontation. None of us is perfect but ignoring problems only allows them to persist. Relationships cannot grow unless problems are addressed in a healthy manner. This includes self-reflection, confrontation, and the willingness to change.

What relationship difficulties have you experienced? Reflect upon a situation where you felt uncomfortable. How did you handle the situation? If you have spotted any other unsafe behaviors, feel free to share them with us either in the comments below or on Facebook.

We're all on a spiritual journey whether we realize it or not. We are here on this earth to grow and to become whole. If you'd like to join our blog community and receive my bi-weekly posts, enter your email in the box provided and I'll send you my free guide entitled "7 Steps to Finding Your Spiritual Path". 

Until next time, be authentic, be caring and keep looking up!


Ariel